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Monday 19 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend went down on me fir the frst time!! He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

#20169456
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35118) - you deserved it (5147)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I decidd to surprise ma boyfriend by waking im up wit a blowjob, because e ad always told me tat it was a sexy fantasy of is . Wen e finally woke up, e got pissd off, rudely accusd me of interrupting is beauty sleep, ten soundly lay back down and fell asleep again . FML

#20169340
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34693) - you deserved it (4310)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:12am - intimacy - by nextcontestant16 - United States

Today , at the age of 29 , I now have a relationship on par with a teenager's. Several weeks ago , mah fiancé an I lost our home , an r now back living with our respective families. We now have no privacy. I actually just got droppd off at home , before 10 , after having sex in a hay field. FML

#20168945
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32363) - you deserved it (4461)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today , mah girlfriend of 6 months yelled at me 4 not comforting her while she was crying because her ex got a new girlfriend , an "it's just not fair." FML

#20169074
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30795) - you deserved it (2338)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:13am - love - by they've been broken up for a year. - United States (Texas)

2day mah long-distance boyfriend an I decidd to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumd that mah dad was asleep an did some drty talk. When we were done, I heard mah dad laughing outside mah room; he'd heard it all. FML

#20170222
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29686) - you deserved it (15988)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

I realizd I'd put on my shrt on inside out... so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off... I accidentally droppd it in the toilet. mega looool FML

#20169668
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27699) - you deserved it (5314)

On 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today I witnessd a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens wit stolen goods in is ands. Te manager was running after im. Trying to be elpful I pulld forward to block te tief from getting away. Te cops sowd up an arrestd me fir itting a pedestrian. FML

#20169022
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24381) - you deserved it (4478)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by ausmill12 (man) - United States (Florida)

TODAY, I HAD MAH WISDOM TEETH TAKEN OUT . I VAGUELY REMEMBER TELLING THE DOCTOR THAT I'M A VIRGIN . SEVERAL TIMES . FML

#20169028
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24069) - you deserved it (2563)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:21am - health - by NOIDIDNOT (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was sitting on a train, doing homework for mah programming class, when a man sat in the seat next to me . He must have been a programmer too, cuz he spent the next few hours staring at mah screen and laughing whenever I made a mistake . FML

#20169793
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23021) - you deserved it (2105)

On 11/19/2012 at 5:37pm - misc - by Trinity (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today Ma Girlfriend Looked Me Straigt In Te Eye An Said, "I Know About Te Sea Turtles." I Asked Er Wat Se Was Talking About An Se Said, "Next Time, Sut Up Or I'll Sow You Pain." I Ave No Idea Wat Se's Talking About. FML

#20170012
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21991) - you deserved it (2062)

On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked into ma ouse wit ma friend, only to discover ma usband alf-naked and yelling at te TV screen over a soccer game. By alf-naked, I mean e was only wereing a srt. FML

#20169569
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21878) - you deserved it (2374)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18799) - you deserved it (16340)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, an a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

#20170086
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15027) - you deserved it (31365)

On 11/19/2012 at 9:04pm - misc - by karmaquestionmark (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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