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Sunday 4 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town, so we drove to one that was 30 mins away. We decided on our items, and went to the check out. Who would have guessed my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML

#20146867
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29063) - you deserved it (4549)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:55am - intimacy - by screwed - United States

Today, in the middle of a hot air balloon ride with my girlfriend, I asked her to marry me. She said no. The rest of the ride was the most awkward 2 hours of my life. FML

#20148134
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28706) - you deserved it (3503)

On 11/04/2012 at 10:26pm - love - by Tj Hunt - United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years proposed to me. It would have been great if he weren't drunk with a naked girl next to him. FML

#20146861
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25958) - you deserved it (1819)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:50am - love - by bigbum - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my daughter brought home her new boyfriend. He has a neck tattoo, and his life's dream is to be a professional "beer pong" player. FML

#20146654
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23930) - you deserved it (2821)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by PleaseDontBeSerious - Canada

Today, while I was cleaning out my son's room, I came across his diary. Opening it out of curiosity, I found ramblings about how blacks, Jews, and other "inferior breeds" should be forcibly sterilized "for the common good." FML

#20147982
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20635) - you deserved it (6213)

On 11/04/2012 at 9:08pm - misc - by Ugh - United States (California)

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

#20147554
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20112) - you deserved it (2425)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by i fking love docb - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, to help me get over my crippling social anxiety, my therapist encouraged me to sing in front of a crowd, since I actually have a fine singing voice. I ended up fainting onstage, mid-song. FML

#20146765
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18591) - you deserved it (1708)

On 11/04/2012 at 2:28am - misc - by Chuffy (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my deranged wife somehow became convinced that vampires actually exist. She's now walking around with garlic powder caked into her clothing. I can't get the smell out of my nostrils. FML

#20147303
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17595) - you deserved it (1831)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I work on a cruise ship, and I just learned that we have a morgue on board. How did I learn that? It's right next to the crew laundry room, and I opened the wrong door. It was occupied. FML

#20147788
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17322) - you deserved it (1392)

On 11/04/2012 at 7:02pm - work - by CircusSea (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

#20147226
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15816) - you deserved it (10676)

On 11/04/2012 at 12:12pm - animals - by spiderwoman (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, at work I was trying to be nice and give a customer a discount because she was having trouble finding money to pay for her food. Everybody behind her then demanded a discount as well. FML

#20147029
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11146) - you deserved it (22719)

On 11/04/2012 at 9:16am - work - by cassiebee - United States (Utah)

Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML

#20147165
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7074) - you deserved it (17858)

On 11/04/2012 at 11:37am - money - by fnfantastic - United States (Indiana)



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