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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Friday 20 November 2009

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I used text-to-speech just so that I can hear "I love you" for once. FML

#6377281 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (33451) - you deserved it (4928)

On 11/20/2009 at 2:29am - love - by lonelyman (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking around in Target with my friends and the guy I've liked for a long time. As we approached the patio section, I sat down on a chair only to hear a big wet watery sound. I got up and realized that I had just sat in some little kid's diarrhea. FML

#6378888 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (32441) - you deserved it (4530)

On 11/20/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my jeep wouldn't start so I opened the hood. I slammed my fingers in my jeep's hood. It latched shut. My hood release was inside the cab, and the jeep was in neutral and on an incline. It started to roll... with a ditch about 5 yards away. I had to skin my own fingers to get them out. FML

#6383914 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (31197) - you deserved it (5078)

On 11/20/2009 at 8:28pm - misc - by FoundMyLighter (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML

#6382728 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (22524) - you deserved it (1811)

On 11/20/2009 at 6:50pm - misc - by WhyTheEff (man) - United States (California)

Today, as I was yelled at by a middle school teacher in front of 30 6th graders for breaking the rule of "no cell phones in school." Luckily, I escaped being sent to the office after explaining I'm a 21 year old college student doing student teaching observations, not a middle schooler. FML

#6379365 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (21479) - you deserved it (3179)

On 11/20/2009 at 12:24pm - misc - by NotInMiddleSchool (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was planning on going on a date with a girl I've really liked. She told me today was the only we could hang out before her trip. I got an expensive hair cut, planned on cooking her dinner, and pulled a few strings and got on the list for a big concert. Turns out she'd rather go shopping FML

#6377384 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (19675) - you deserved it (2233)

On 11/20/2009 at 3:25am - love - by sadday (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me so she could "let her life flow in the direction she wants." Apparently that includes smoking, stealing and making out with other girls at parties. The best part? She wants to get back together "after she matures and gets it out of her system." FML

#6377568 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (19090) - you deserved it (1745)

On 11/20/2009 at 4:30am - love - by ApparentlyIFail (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was enjoying the benefits of marriage with my new husband. We were changing positions when my joints started crackling and popping like my mother's did when I was a kid. My husband stopped, concerned about my possible pain... I'm 20 years old and pop like an arthritic 50 year old. FML

#6381623 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (19005) - you deserved it (2323)

On 11/20/2009 at 4:27pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work, my boss said something that I didn't catch. I went to take a leash off a dog, (I'm a groomer's assistant) and looked at my boss and said "What?" To which she replied, "Be careful, he bites." I now have a two-inch gash on my finger from a 6lb fluffy Maltese. FML

#6377475 (26)

I agree, your life sucks (10045) - you deserved it (3280)

On 11/20/2009 at 3:29am - work - by DamnDogs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML

#6378966 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (8799) - you deserved it (25086)

On 11/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by inpain (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating at KFC when my roommate unexpectedly showed up. He asked me who I was there with, and I told him I was on a sexy date with his mom. Just then a woman 5 feet away turned around and gave me a disgusted look. Guess whose mom was in town visiting for the weekend? FML

#6379842 (63)

I agree, your life sucks (7405) - you deserved it (20670)

On 11/20/2009 at 1:30pm - misc - by pchis4ever (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I discovered that my boss listens to the things we say about him on the audio-enabled cameras at our work. I'm thus currently jobless. FML

#6378315 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (6431) - you deserved it (22446)

On 11/20/2009 at 8:56am - work - by HellaBomber91 (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, a McDonald's employee had to correct my math after counting out $2.37 in change. I'm in AP Calculus and am currently learning how to find the derivative of an inverse of a logarithm. FML

#6377275 (295)

I agree, your life sucks (5237) - you deserved it (26755)

On 11/20/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Links (man) - United States (Washington)