Kids, School, Babies and Teenagers: No kidding

No kidding

By Anonymous - 08/02/2023 04:00

Today, my baby threw up all over my homework, which I worked really hard on and is due tomorrow. Moral of the story is don’t have a kid when you're in high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 1 148

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 04:16 - United States

Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 689

You deserved it 4 012

Get me out of here

By fraz206 - 18/03/2019 16:00

Today, after feeling sick all day at work, my shift was about to end. Twenty minutes before I was able to clock out, some kid puked all over herself in the playground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 989

You deserved it 171

By Jules - 15/09/2017 17:00

Today, the first day of school, I threw up on my teacher in the middle of class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 364

You deserved it 289

By Lunab123 - 01/02/2015 02:43 - United States - Potomac

Today, I had food poisoning and woke up early in the morning to vomit. My mom emailed all of my teachers saying that I would be late to school because of "morning sickness". Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 890

You deserved it 2 558

Sights, sounds, smells

By Anonymous - 11/03/2023 12:00

Today, I was babysitting my friend's kids. One of the twin babies threw up all over my shirt and it went down my bra. Of course, I didn't have a change of clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 157

By pregz - 27/02/2015 22:23 - United States

Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 403

You deserved it 2 633

By eeeee - 14/06/2012 20:40 - United States

Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 430

You deserved it 2 705

By Tejanoswhy - 18/12/2015 18:16

Today, I found out why my history grade is so low: the kid in front of me takes my homework, writes his name on it, and passes it off as his own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 762

You deserved it 1 824

By laurwitharawr - 06/10/2009 12:08 - United States

Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 429

You deserved it 4 435

By Livingthedream - 12/08/2018 06:00

Today, I got home from a long day of work and saw a pile of dog puke on the kitchen floor. I went to get paper towels and found a pile of dog shit. With my foot. Both of my kids were home all day and left the piles for me to clean because "that's gross". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 943

You deserved it 462

TwoBytesCarley 26

Wednesday 8 February 2023 15:24

Strap in, it’s only going to get a lot harder once the free babysitting, room and board disappear.

Elizabeth Burley 22

Thursday 9 February 2023 20:49

Maybe if you did your homework on birth control you could have saved yourself some aggravation.

Comments

TwoBytesCarley 26

Wednesday 8 February 2023 15:24

Strap in, it’s only going to get a lot harder once the free babysitting, room and board disappear.

Elizabeth Burley 22

Thursday 9 February 2023 20:49

Maybe if you did your homework on birth control you could have saved yourself some aggravation.

Hangryko 29

Thursday 9 February 2023 20:54

How do you know she abd her partner didn't use birth control? It could have failed.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Saturday 11 February 2023 21:16

There's no way you don't deserve this.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I met my boyfriend in Hong Kong after being apart for almost 6 months. We got to our room and got right down to business. I was just about to come when a voice came over the PA system in the room. "This is just a fire alarm test, sorry for any inconvenience." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 129

You deserved it 5 932

Today, I asked out a girl I’ve been hanging out with for a few months. She said, “That’s kind of gross.” When I asked her about, it she said, “My friends will think you’re creepy” followed by, “You’re not actually a creep, they say you look like one.” I groom myself every day like a normal person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 101

The Top

Today, my ambulance got called out for a "stomach pain" patient. Upon assessment, the guy really did have stomach pain. His colostomy bag fell off a week ago, so to stop the crap from falling out, he duct taped it shut. It exploded when I helped him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 67

Today, I, a grown man in his 30’s, fell asleep and pissed myself like a 2 year-old at bedtime. I was at work on my dinner break and had taken a nap on the break room sofa, which is now soaked in my pee, and I have no change of clothes. Twenty coworkers and 5 senior management all know it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 303

Today, my roommate and I had to pay our first installment of rent. He's nowhere to be found. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 079

You deserved it 3 049

Today, I have a very mild case of COVID. I’ve been in quarantine for a few days now. No big deal. I’ve also been ridiculously horny these past few days. However, every time I…relieve that tension, I get a stabbing headache. Now I’m worried I may never full enjoy sex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 199

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be funny to change my ringtone to some guy crooning "Thank heaven for little girls" and then call me during today's teacher-parent conference. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 961

You deserved it 1 977

Today, I finally broke my two-year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 606

You deserved it 9 009

No kidding

Same thing different taste

Get me out of here

Sights, sounds, smells

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