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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Friday 30 October 2009

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend called and asked me why I love him. I told him because he's always there for me and continues to put up with my bipolar disorder. He promptly said "not anymore" and hung up. FML

#6072093 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (30555) - you deserved it (3294)

On 10/30/2009 at 5:24pm - love - by screwed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to adopt a 11 year old dog that has been in need of a home for several months. Two hours after I got him home, I discovered him dead in the backyard. FML

#6067207 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (28935) - you deserved it (2265)

On 10/30/2009 at 3:45am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was hit by a car speeding through an intersection after the light had already turned red. Still partly blacked out, I crawled onto the sidewalk and I sat down. The woman rolled down her car window and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" as she drove by. FML

#6067303 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (28692) - you deserved it (1404)

On 10/30/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by legotron (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her mom who had passed away years ago "told her that I was cheating on her," telepathically. FML

#6075479 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (25952) - you deserved it (1659)

On 10/30/2009 at 9:32pm - misc - by iGotSkill (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, when going to fill up the kettle, I noticed a bad smell and pieces of something coming out of the tap. Turns out there was a dead snake in my water supply. FML

#6065888 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (25532) - you deserved it (1090)

On 10/30/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by seriousdubsteplover (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked why, she replied with "You don't go out anymore. All you do is lay in bed." I've had the flu for the past week. FML

#6066680 (57)

I agree, your life sucks (25510) - you deserved it (1454)

On 10/30/2009 at 2:25am - love - by ZPyRoGoDz (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom tells my sister that she is worried about her because she has a headache and feels like she might be getting a slight cold. I have had the flu for two weeks and have a 103 degree fever. I ask, "What about me?" Her response? "Stay away from your sister." FML

#6068182 (47)

I agree, your life sucks (22924) - you deserved it (1601)

On 10/30/2009 at 8:05am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took this gorgeous girl from work to eat at Olive Garden. I was trying to be romantic and had the waiter bring two glasses of wine. I guess she doesn't really drink wine, she covered her fettucini Alfredo in vomit. After dinner, she thanked me with a french kiss. FML

#6066504 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (22650) - you deserved it (5244)

On 10/30/2009 at 2:02am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I submitted my 5000 word assignment. When I got home, my mother asked if I'd checked it through one more time like she always warned me to do. I hadn't. And I therefore hadn't noticed the paragraph on p11 that she'd written, telling me to pay attention to the small details. FML

#6068555 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (21051) - you deserved it (7861)

On 10/30/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by JZ (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my bank overdrafted my account to pay a bill that isn't due until next month. When I called them, they said they would fix the mistake, but I have to restore the account to zero before they'll give me my money back. So, I have to pay for my own money with the money they won't give me. FML

#6067790 (36)

I agree, your life sucks (19593) - you deserved it (1120)

On 10/30/2009 at 6:11am - money - by WTF (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that when they put "Take with food" on the side of antibiotics, what they really mean is "Take with food because this stuff is gonna liquefy everything in your G.I. tract, and make you have to run out of the middle of calculus for the worst diarrhea ever." FML

#6069034 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (18355) - you deserved it (7297)

On 10/30/2009 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my university bookstore and tried to use my debit card to pay, but got the "Insufficient Funds" notification. I was buying a single postage stamp, which costs 57 cents. FML

#6071403 (65)

I agree, your life sucks (18255) - you deserved it (6743)

On 10/30/2009 at 4:32pm - money - by poorcollegestudent (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to a social event with a very attractive male co-worker. Things were going awesome, we were flirting and really hitting it off. Then his 'wife' called. FML

#6069293 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (18090) - you deserved it (4776)

On 10/30/2009 at 12:23pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)