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Today, my friend and I were filming football practice and talking about what guys on the team were attractive and who we would want to get it on with. We didn't realize that the camera was recording everything that we said. The tape was played to the entire team the next day. With sound. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18470) - you deserved it (90594)
On 03/25/2009 at 3:31pm - misc - by Lady_Luck (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I waited in line at a drive-through behind a man for ten minutes. I got out of my car, cursed at him, and then asked him to give me one good reason why it would take that long to order. The man slowly explained to me that he had a stutter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7153) - you deserved it (90495)
On 06/01/2010 at 5:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was out on a date with a guy. His hot co-worker came to have a beer with us, and I knew my best friend would think he was gorgeous. I wanted to take a picture of him without knowing, so i tried to hold up my phone and pretend to be texting. The flash went off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14419) - you deserved it (90231)
On 03/16/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States
Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had brought her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the adderall they found in my desk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18578) - you deserved it (89916)
On 04/16/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by hatetheroommate (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6484) - you deserved it (89669)
On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As I put my hand in his boxers, he stands up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15038) - you deserved it (89580)
On 04/08/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by cdoyle - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my friend said he'd give me 20 bucks if I would ask out the ugliest girl in school. I did it. She rejected me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14499) - you deserved it (89253)
On 06/24/2009 at 11:33am - love - by steven (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12792) - you deserved it (89064)
On 03/14/2009 at 7:05am - love - by DSM (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I bought a brand new flat screen TV. When I brought it home it didn't work. Furious, I walked into Best Buy and yelled at a guy in a tucked in blue polo and khakis. I asked him why it didn't work and he said he didn't know. I kept screaming. He didn't have a nametag. He didn't work there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8882) - you deserved it (89060)
On 04/18/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by asdfghjkl (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6456) - you deserved it (88592)
On 01/28/2011 at 8:06pm - love - by peeoncarl1111 - United States
Today, my dad asked me if i started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later he finds my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5005) - you deserved it (88516)
On 07/27/2009 at 10:42pm - misc - by bbbeast (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)
Today, my physics teacher asked who had implants. I raised my hand. Then he asked me to show him the implants. Shocked at his request I called him a perv. I later discovered he meant dental implants as he was teaching x rays not breast implants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9132) - you deserved it (88456)
On 03/07/2009 at 8:40am - misc - by Noname - Pakistan (Islamabad)
Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9996) - you deserved it (88069)
On 08/02/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by jeeperspeepers (woman) - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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