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Today, I drank for every year I've been in school. While in my bed I decided I was too drunk to get up and throw up in the bathroom so I decided to just do it on my floor and clean it up later. Later on I woke up and realized I threw up on my $1000 laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20518) - you deserved it (163040)
On 02/27/2009 at 3:28pm - health - by ugh!! (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13514) - you deserved it (159168)
On 03/14/2009 at 11:16am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58592) - you deserved it (156945)
On 07/03/2009 at 10:16am - misc - by shandrith (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment, and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applied at. He wanted to arrange an interview. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8243) - you deserved it (156300)
On 05/24/2009 at 10:50am - work - by oopsie (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9984) - you deserved it (152210)
On 06/16/2011 at 2:20am - intimacy - by crushed dreams - United States
Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33530) - you deserved it (146872)
On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)
Today, I decided it would be pretty amusing to press the "Like" button on everyone's status on Facebook without reading them just to get on peoples' nerves. After re-reading them later, I found out one of them said "I MISS YOU SOO MUCH GRANDMOM. RIP". I liked that her grandmother died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14879) - you deserved it (145700)
On 03/14/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by like - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11441) - you deserved it (145035)
On 04/04/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by ashleyevans (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I saw him with another woman. I confronted both of them in screaming rage "What the fuck? Are you cheating on me with this ugly slut?" They were in shock. Turns out it was his cousin visiting from New Jersey, he was gonna introduce us at dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13581) - you deserved it (143669)
On 03/13/2009 at 9:18am - love - by nowthatsfcked (woman) - Canada
Today, I decided to cheat on my math test by writing a couple of equations on my hand. Totally satisfied, I handed my test in feeling like I had aced it. As I was heading toward the door, I happily waved goodbye to my teacher. She saw everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11979) - you deserved it (142357)
On 03/27/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by rutho (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to a party and the cops came to bust the party. I jumped out the window of a second story house in order to avoid getting arrested. I broke my leg in three places and got a concussion. The cops let everyone go with a warning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32845) - you deserved it (141243)
On 03/16/2009 at 12:02pm - misc - by natty (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while drinking at a bar with my girlfriend, my ex-girlfriend who I've been seeing on the side walked straight up to her, introducing herself as "the ex-girlfriend that he's been sleeping with for the past 3 months." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11641) - you deserved it (139820)
On 07/02/2010 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Tim (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65077) - you deserved it (134730)
On 03/29/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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