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Today, I came home to find a BMW partially blocking my driveway. I was already having a bad day, and was upset that some stuck up fool blocked my driveway, so I keyed the driver's side. 5 minutes later my parents show up. The BMW was a graduation gift for me. FML

#3553930
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22091) - you deserved it (214854)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Stoopid (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

#16689937
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15017) - you deserved it (213588)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:20am - intimacy - by crushed dreams - United States

Today, I drank for every year I've been in school. While in my bed I decided I was too drunk to get up and throw up in the bathroom so I decided to just do it on my floor and clean it up later. Later on I woke up and realized I threw up on my $1000 laptop. FML

#153348
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27603) - you deserved it (206656)

On 02/27/2009 at 3:28pm - health - by ugh!! (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my best friend and I came home from Japan. Her boyfriend and I have been having an affair before I left so I decided not to tell him she was coming with me. We just got off the plane and got a bite to eat, he was waiting for me so he could propose, my best friend was standing next to me. FML

#786333
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15858) - you deserved it (200329)

On 04/03/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by C0olgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

#408707
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42548) - you deserved it (191867)

On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)

Today, while drinking at a bar with my girlfriend, my ex-girlfriend who I've been seeing on the side walked straight up to her, introducing herself as "the ex-girlfriend that he's been sleeping with for the past 3 months." FML

Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML

#319539
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18295) - you deserved it (189214)

On 03/14/2009 at 11:16am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I saw him with another woman. I confronted both of them in screaming rage "What the fuck? Are you cheating on me with this ugly slut?" They were in shock. Turns out it was his cousin visiting from New Jersey, he was gonna introduce us at dinner. FML

#300498
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19890) - you deserved it (188537)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:18am - love - by nowthatsfcked (woman) - Canada

Today, I decided to cheat on my math test by writing a couple of equations on my hand. Totally satisfied, I handed my test in feeling like I had aced it. As I was heading toward the door, I happily waved goodbye to my teacher. She saw everything. FML

#637114
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17181) - you deserved it (188010)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by rutho (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a party and the cops came to bust the party. I jumped out the window of a second story house in order to avoid getting arrested. I broke my leg in three places and got a concussion. The cops let everyone go with a warning. FML

#377584
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41078) - you deserved it (185789)

On 03/16/2009 at 12:02pm - misc - by natty (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided it would be pretty amusing to press the "Like" button on everyone's status on Facebook without reading them just to get on peoples' nerves. After re-reading them later, I found out one of them said "I MISS YOU SOO MUCH GRANDMOM. RIP". I liked that her grandmother died. FML

#316205
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20975) - you deserved it (183669)

On 03/14/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by like - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML

#18086269
520 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9986) - you deserved it (181018)

On 10/27/2011 at 1:01am - work - by charlie3289 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

#681021
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14470) - you deserved it (180244)

On 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by emkaycutie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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