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Today, I sat on the kitchen counter in my boxers for ten minutes running my feet under hot water. Why? Because my dad thought it would be funny to superglue my feet together. FML

#18491637
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29308) - you deserved it (2720)

On 12/12/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by lucas - United States (Alaska)

Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered by stuffing raw hamburger meat down all the drains in the apartment. FML

#18260182
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24813) - you deserved it (2721)

On 11/15/2011 at 11:15pm - misc - by ledon (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML

#20960004
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44775) - you deserved it (2720)

On 11/16/2013 at 4:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by sending me a text. She was sitting right beside me on a 10 hour car trip, and there was still 6 more hours to go. FML

#14104708
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34542) - you deserved it (2719)

On 12/06/2010 at 5:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML

#17147393
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38404) - you deserved it (2719)

On 07/17/2011 at 8:34am - love - by bigjohn106 - United States (Maryland)

Today, my dad yelled for me. It was an emergency. I ran down the stairs, tripped, fell, and limped over to my dad only to find that he wanted me to see a video of someone playing "Bohemian Rhapsody" on the ukulele. FML

#18102267
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22430) - you deserved it (2719)

On 10/29/2011 at 9:40am - misc - by camille - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my friend started choking while at a Hard Rock Cafe. I jumped up and tried to give her the Heimlich maneuver, only for her to throw up all over the table and stagger out of the place. I stood there as the waiter asked if I wanted to split the bill. FML

Today, I had my eyebrows waxed for my senior pictures. After manhandling me, the cosmetologist managed to "accidentally" take my whole eyebrow off. It looks like I'll be remembered forevermore as the girl with one eyebrow. FML

#19987412
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20114) - you deserved it (2718)

On 07/27/2012 at 1:46pm - misc - by booo - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was given a wedgie by a complete stranger in a crowded bar. FML

#20492051
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25308) - you deserved it (2718)

On 02/03/2013 at 8:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was coming home from a much-needed vacation. The time I spent on the plane consisted of kids screaming and throwing tantrums. One of them managed to give me a black eye with a shoe. Their mom pretended to be asleep so I'd have to deal with her kids for her. FML

#20626326
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40220) - you deserved it (2718)

On 04/27/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by Satan'sChildren - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend was fired. After breaking the news, he also broke up with me. Apparently, his boss had a creepy crush on me and would give my boyfriend bonuses for bringing me to company events and, occasionally, out on the boss's personal boat. Looks like I am no longer useful. FML

#4591074
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47504) - you deserved it (2717)

On 08/17/2009 at 1:43am - love - by TrophyGirlfriend (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a local take-away and ordered a pizza. I watched the worker get my pizza out the oven, then wipe the pizza cutter on the trash bin to get rid of the last pizza's toppings, and then cut my pizza. FML

#6904447
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27766) - you deserved it (2717)

On 12/23/2009 at 3:24pm - misc - by extraflavour - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I received a bouquet of flowers from my boyfriend, which is something he's never done before. Unfortunately, this was his way of apologizing for cheating on me. FML

#14734068
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29713) - you deserved it (2717)

On 01/27/2011 at 5:53pm - love - by Azure_Mist (woman) - United States (Florida)



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