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Today, my dad learned that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffled as to why it won't work. FML

#20450090
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25869) - you deserved it (2213)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:23pm - misc - by Darkandcold - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I found out that my sleep-walking is so bad that I regularly text my friend while I sleep. I have no idea how many times this has happened. FML

#20455938
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19211) - you deserved it (2213)

On 01/12/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by I'm screwed - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I took my new laptop into my house from my car, thinking it would be a too much of a target for kids grabbing it. I came home tonight to find my door kicked in, my laptop gone and my TV ripped from the wall. FML

#5719624
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31793) - you deserved it (2212)

On 10/08/2009 at 9:31am - money - by wheatsnake (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

#18754752
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29475) - you deserved it (2212)

On 01/09/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by maruskasommers (woman) - Czech Republic (Pardubicky kraj)

Today, I opened my Christmas present from my parents. I got a road-side assistance package. I don't own a vehicle, and I don't even have a driver's license. FML

#20420365
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23375) - you deserved it (2212)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - misc - by CambodianAsshole (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to calm my hallucinating mom after she accidentally overdosed on one of her pills, then spend ages trying to protect her from the "monkey" on the wall. FML

#20866110
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35703) - you deserved it (2212)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by D - United States (California)

Today, the only card I got for Valentine's Day was in my mother's handwriting, and she posted it through the front door herself. She still won't admit it's from her. FML

#19072071
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19249) - you deserved it (2211)

On 02/14/2012 at 6:56am - love - by ThanksMum (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my wife wants to name our first child Siri, after the iPhone function. FML

#20182157
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22929) - you deserved it (2212)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by boo8713 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML

#20844156
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42215) - you deserved it (2211)

On 08/19/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my water got cut off. The previous homeowners owed the water company over $300, and the company doesn't believe that I'm not them. The supervisor told me this will keep happening until I pay up. I need a shower. FML

#20962134
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38063) - you deserved it (2211)

On 11/18/2013 at 1:37pm - money - by Annonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, both of my grandparents died in a car accident. My Mom and Dad thought it would make me feel better to know they were not my real grandparents, because I'm adopted. FML

#6774079
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53317) - you deserved it (2210)

On 12/16/2009 at 2:28am - misc - by barri (man) - Costa Rica (San Jose)

 Today, my mom is marrying my ex boyfriend's dad. The same ex boyfriend who I caught cheating on me with my sister. Family gatherings are going to be such a joy! FML

#17793249
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37653) - you deserved it (2210)

On 09/21/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by AL - United States (California)

Today, I won $20 on a scratch ticket my grandma bought me. She wants it back. FML

#18381976
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23207) - you deserved it (2210)

On 11/29/2011 at 12:45am - money - by dasteve - United States (Idaho)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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