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Today, I found out why my five year old has been throwing tantrums while shopping. It turns out my ex-husband has been paying her three dollars for every public tantrum she throws. FML

#8051143
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28147) - you deserved it (2451)

On 02/09/2010 at 12:53pm - kids - by inthedark (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got married. My mother told me to stop being difficult, because she was the mother of the bride, and it was her day to shine. FML

#7845812
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34676) - you deserved it (2451)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:58pm - love - by bluebride (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw a facebook status that said, 'Wedding today. Ugly people belong together.' I'm getting married today. FML

#17246888
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30717) - you deserved it (2451)

On 07/24/2011 at 10:53pm - love - by ugly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML

#20501281
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25743) - you deserved it (2451)

On 02/10/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by obsequiousfannyflapper (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, my dad came home from Vegas. Today, my college savings account is down by $64,000. FML

#6362142
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35891) - you deserved it (2450)

On 11/18/2009 at 10:31pm - misc - by screwed - United States (New York)

Today, my friend whacked me on the family jewels while I was washing my hands in the college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

#7198019
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31180) - you deserved it (2450)

On 01/07/2010 at 11:50am - misc - by TJ (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I received a call while at the dispatch station for the Naval hospital I work at. It was a woman having a panic attack. Apparently, she couldn't plug her vacuum in, and was more or less freaking out. I had to take her in anyway. FML

#12162115
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20609) - you deserved it (2450)

On 07/28/2010 at 7:42am - work - by HM (man) - United States (Armed Forces Pacific)

Today, at my strictly Catholic grandmother's funeral, I was made to sit in the row behind the rest of the family, because I was born out of wedlock and wasn't a 'real' member. FML

#15055415
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38016) - you deserved it (2450)

On 02/20/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, the toilet on the top floor of my house burst, soaked the bathroom, and water dripped down into the kitchen and the basement for hours when nobody was home. Eight blowers and a dehumidifier later, the house is about 90 degrees and I can't leave. FML

#15898424
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22643) - you deserved it (2450)

On 04/23/2011 at 2:33pm - misc - by wet (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I've been bedridden for the past two weeks. My boyfriend casually remarked that he understands now why some people cheat on their seriously-ill partners. Thanks for adding to the stress, sweetie. FML

#20797672
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41072) - you deserved it (2450)

On 07/22/2013 at 2:30pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML

#20503420
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19740) - you deserved it (2449)

On 02/12/2013 at 8:18am - animals - by Stoopiddogbot (woman) - United Kingdom (Swansea)

Today, I was outside at a café and looked at my phone. When I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML

#20547346
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35060) - you deserved it (2449)

On 03/17/2013 at 7:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my sister and her two-year-old came to my place for a visit. Not long after arriving, my niece ripped off her diaper and immediately took a dump on my white carpet. Guess who had to 'suddenly' leave afterwards, leaving me to clean up the mess. FML

#20892017
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37247) - you deserved it (2449)

On 09/22/2013 at 8:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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