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Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

#6098895
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35677) - you deserved it (3168)

On 11/01/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by WasteOfTime (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my uncle had a flashback to Vietnam. I'm now missing a tooth and have a cracked rib. FML

#14706011
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38134) - you deserved it (3168)

On 01/25/2011 at 2:28am - misc - by Randall (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I spent 30 minutes listening to my grandmother telling us that my cat is a medium. My boyfriend is totally convinced. FML

#14583588
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22873) - you deserved it (3168)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:24pm - animals - by inchetogb - United States (Kentucky)

Today, it's my birthday. At my workplace, we always get a cake for whoever's birthday it is. They somehow forgot about me. I've been working there for a year, and my grandparents and my dad own the restaurant I work at. FML

#16324475
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39175) - you deserved it (3168)

On 05/24/2011 at 3:55am - work - by birthdayfail -

Today, I finally found the courage to tell my drug addict husband that I'm leaving him. He sat in his chair, denying using drugs, ever. Right after he said this, he passed out and spilled hot coffee on himself. He then denied spilling the coffee. As I was leaving, he took all of my shoes. FML

#17924214
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33209) - you deserved it (3168)

On 10/06/2011 at 10:53pm - love - by stacyyvonne - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

#20022255
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29524) - you deserved it (3168)

On 08/15/2012 at 7:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my estranged father, with whom I haven't spoken in years, called me and demanded to know where his Father's Day gift was. FML

#20729234
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43448) - you deserved it (3168)

On 06/16/2013 at 12:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I walked into my elderly client's home for my first day of work. I was immediately hit in the eye with something small, and had to get medical attention for a scratched cornea. It turns out my client likes to clip his toenails right by his front door. FML

#21088031
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38774) - you deserved it (3168)

On 03/16/2014 at 10:00am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized my wife often switches the TV channel from the crime dramas we both like, to Hollywood gossip shows that I can't stand, just to get me to leave the room. From the other room, I can see that she switches back once I've left. She's probably been doing this for years. FML

#18592801
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28839) - you deserved it (3167)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:24pm - love - by unwanted (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend became convinced that I cheated on him, and broke up with me, saying he would "get me back." When I came home, I found his key on my counter and my cat missing. FML

#18381687
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28645) - you deserved it (3167)

On 11/29/2011 at 12:14am - animals - by reallyupset (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after 10 months of hard work, it was the opening night of the show I was directing. Everybody loved it, except my mother. She called it the worst thing she'd ever seen. Thanks for the support, mum. FML

#21065609
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37107) - you deserved it (3167)

On 02/19/2014 at 4:33pm - work - by Disappointed (woman) - United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove)

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML

#21283288
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42991) - you deserved it (3167)

On 10/22/2014 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by BadLuckLad (man) - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, I got a missed call from my dad, who hasn't talked to me in months and has vowed not to have anything to do with me. I called him back excitedly and apologized for missing his call, and we had a 20-second conversation about how his phone accidentally dialed my number. FML

#886706
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62873) - you deserved it (3166)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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