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Today, I discovered that my mother uses my eyebrow tweezers to pull ticks off the dog. She also hasn't figured out that just dipping the tweezers in alcohol doesn't automatically sterilize them. Especially if there is icky dog hair still stuck on. FML

#8958709
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19275) - you deserved it (2681)

On 03/09/2010 at 10:12pm - health - by whoanoa (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got a text from a girl that I've had a crush on for a long time, asking me out to dinner. I agreed and went to the restaurant. Not long afterwards, I got text from her saying something had come up, so she couldn't make it. As I was walking back to my car, I saw her walk into the same restaurant with another guy. FML

#14960685
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38728) - you deserved it (2681)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:14pm - love - by Saberwolf (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was riding on the bus, when I felt a weird sensation on my hair. The person behind me was petting it. FML

#17182266
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29640) - you deserved it (2681)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:29pm - misc - by imnotacat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, it was my engagement party. All was going fabulously until my fiancé's dad decided to give us a toast, and completely forgot my name in front of all my family and friends. I've been with his son for 7 years. FML

#17475917
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30227) - you deserved it (2681)

On 08/15/2011 at 12:16am - love - by Alex (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

#17304859
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34208) - you deserved it (2681)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:15am - kids - by NaomiMadison - United States

Today, my boyfriend had a tantrum because I didn't like Black Sabbath as much as him. Apparently our entire relationship was based on him thinking I did. I've now been labeled "The Queen of Lies." FML

#20108628
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18239) - you deserved it (2681)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:39am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I woke up to find my face all red and swollen. Turns out it is caused by the medication I’ve been taking for over a week now. Only in very rare cases it will cause redness on your skin. I’m glad to know I’m special. FML

#5974097
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25516) - you deserved it (2680)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:14pm - misc - by sexyswollen (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I allowed my friend to talk me into going on a date. The guy's truck smelled like formaldehyde - I'm assuming from the snake that he apparently tried to turn into a necklace. FML

#6985807
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22529) - you deserved it (2680)

On 12/28/2009 at 1:26am - love - by KittyNeko (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my 18th birthday. Nobody said anything. Gillette sent me a free razor though. FML

#7336661
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34278) - you deserved it (2680)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:57am - misc - by Lost (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

#15205063
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37377) - you deserved it (2680)

On 03/05/2011 at 5:15am - misc - by anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, I get to stand in the unemployment line for the second time in a year because my company can't pay me. My parents own the company. FML

#19181051
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26466) - you deserved it (2680)

On 02/28/2012 at 8:27am - work - by Jaxur05 - United States

Today, while trying to take my Christmas tree down, I learned that at some point during the last few weeks, it became home to a colony of green ants. I'm now covered in bites and terrified to go anywhere near it. FML

#20426337
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25149) - you deserved it (2680)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:54pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, the stalker flatmate who has been obsessed with me since I first moved into the flat two years ago, graduated. Apparently he told everyone we are an item, because his parents and relatives were smiling and taking pictures of me from their seats two rows ahead of mine at the ceremony. FML



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