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Today, I visited my friend in a nasty part of town. When I saw the shattered window of the car next to me, and the missing stereo, I moved my car to a safer location. Luckily, though, I have a common car, so the thieves were able to jimmy the lock and steal my stereo without making any noise. FML

#8712450
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20136) - you deserved it (2673)

On 02/28/2010 at 5:51am - money - by unsurprised (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my Grandmother gave me rosary beads for my birthday. She told me I better start praying for a husband. FML

#13135872
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23931) - you deserved it (2673)

On 09/20/2010 at 11:02pm - misc - by kdgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML

#20830800
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41645) - you deserved it (2673)

On 08/10/2013 at 2:41pm - work - by his word vs mine = me suspended (woman) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, as I was walking home, a friend passed me by on his moped, and sprayed a bunch of silly string at me. Unfortunately, he hit me in the eye, temporarily blinding me. As I stumbled around blind, I accidentally knocked a bunch of 3 year olds off their bikes, causing them to cry. FML

#5812873
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27865) - you deserved it (2672)

On 10/13/2009 at 6:09am - misc - by sillystring (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I discovered the same erotic pictures my wife emailed to me while I was deployed were emailed to several other guys by her. FML

#10120453
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35830) - you deserved it (2672)

On 04/24/2010 at 7:38pm - love - by ncjarhead (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while at work, I witnessed a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said "yep... that just happened" and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

#19867742
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22442) - you deserved it (2672)

On 06/29/2012 at 7:12pm - kids - by ihatewalmart (man) - United States

Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML

#20163953
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30525) - you deserved it (2672)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by WentInABush (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours, my brother punched me, and my mom slapped me across the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my things to leave, my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML

#20474780
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32330) - you deserved it (2672)

On 01/23/2013 at 12:45pm - misc - by mariama (woman) - United States

Today, the drummer of my band briefly mentioned something about not being allowed into the United States, just as he left our last practice before our big tour in America. FML

Today, I noticed my dog chewing on something while on the couch. It looked like a wash rag of some sort, so I grabbed it from my dog. It wasn't until after I picked it up that I noticed it wasn't a wash rag. It was a small, dead bird. FML

#20527319
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25636) - you deserved it (2672)

On 03/01/2013 at 7:54pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that the neck injury that my mom has had since last week was planned just as an excuse not to shovel when today's snowstorm came. She has planned on being lazy for over a week now. FML

#20533403
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25968) - you deserved it (2672)

On 03/06/2013 at 10:16am - misc - by Drew (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was flying home to Milwaukee after a weekend in South Carolina. When I got to the airport, my reservation didn't match up with any flights. Turns out Expedia booked me on a flight that doen't exist. I spent ten hours waiting in the airport for a two hour flight. FML

#2958799
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36550) - you deserved it (2671)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:02am - misc - by lojo (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mother asked me to drill a hole in one of the studs in her ceiling. Finding it a little odd, I asked her about it. It turns out she's installing the sex swing her boyfriend bought her, and I got to help. FML

#14071239
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27711) - you deserved it (2671)

On 12/03/2010 at 12:12pm - intimacy - by Trey Deluna - United States (Colorado)



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