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Today, my daughter found out what happens when my husband watches Mythbusters and doesn't heed the disclaimer to "Not try this at home." He feels bad about her cut face, but says he's proud he can throw a playing card that hard. FML

Today, I looked outside with a grimace at the very heavy rainfall through which I had to trudge a long way. I waited ten minutes for it to let up, only to find it was getting heavier. So, I started walking anyway. After getting soaked to the bone, I walked through my door, and it stopped. FML

#6567940
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26052) - you deserved it (3142)

On 12/02/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Furry (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

#20081849
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27131) - you deserved it (3142)

On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a call at 4 in the morning from the security company, saying someone had broken into my workplace. I drove an hour out there, only to find out it was a rat that had set off the alarm. FML

#21000984
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40522) - you deserved it (3142)

On 12/22/2013 at 1:56am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls. I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously. I heard one yell "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing. She said "Oh my god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from your butt!" Apparently, my ass is nicer than my face. FML

#2894787
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61444) - you deserved it (3141)

On 06/14/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by bitches. (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom had an appointment with my teacher after class. She never showed. My teacher ended up driving me home. FML

#16560118
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35565) - you deserved it (3141)

On 06/08/2011 at 9:03am - work - by iloveyoutoomom (man) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML

#18049088
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30278) - you deserved it (3141)

On 10/22/2011 at 9:02pm - misc - by pretty_coin - Australia (Queensland)

Today, for the first time ever, my family bought a real Christmas tree instead of using our old fake one. Today, I also found out I'm allergic to Christmas trees. My family won't get rid of it because they paid so much for it and intend to "get their money's worth". FML

#21308826
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30049) - you deserved it (3141)

On 11/30/2014 at 3:24pm - misc - by Nose Numb - United States

Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML

#2984635
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80704) - you deserved it (3140)

On 06/18/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States

Today, my fiancée broke up with me because I "don't know what I'm doing with my future". I've done four years in the Marines and am in the process of becoming an officer. She has a film degree which she has no interest in, works at the mall, and just moved back in with her dad. FML

#5186849
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44420) - you deserved it (3140)

On 09/11/2009 at 1:11pm - love - by TankTankTank (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I called my boss and said "I have been awake since 3am throwing up." He replied with "Great, see you at 9" and hung up. FML

#14638505
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31967) - you deserved it (3140)

On 01/19/2011 at 12:31pm - work - by gb739 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML

#20509000
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33149) - you deserved it (3140)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03am - kids - by Scarlett (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML

#20544337
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49412) - you deserved it (3140)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by guy - Canada (British Columbia)



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