Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it was my 17th birthday. My mom forgot and my best friend is out of town. The highlight of my day? The guy at McDonalds slipped an extra apple pie in my bag. FML

#4719032
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35539) - you deserved it (2693)

On 08/21/2009 at 9:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was working at a restaurant when my manager approached me and informed me that there was people having sex in the women's washroom, and he needed me to go in and ask them to cut it out. So I did. Five minutes later, a woman walks out with her disabled son and asks to talk to my manager. FML

#6526778
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33932) - you deserved it (2693)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:51am - intimacy - by Janer88 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I overheard my mother telling a friend she got me oven mitts for Christmas. I got her two cruise tickets. I hate to cook. Which she knows. FML

#14066862
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24850) - you deserved it (2693)

On 12/03/2010 at 12:18am - misc - by nokitchenforme - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years called my house even though I was with him at the time. He needed to talk to my mom. He asked her to break up with me for him. FML

#12655431
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28228) - you deserved it (2693)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:05am - love - by justmylife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, on the bright side, my boobs grew a size. Unfortunately, this was only after bed bugs decided to attack my nipples. FML

#19722662
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24280) - you deserved it (2693)

On 06/02/2012 at 7:25pm - health - by must.not.itch. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally made the last payment on the beautiful engagement ring I bought and proposed with - two years ago. To my ex-girlfriend, who said no and promptly started sleeping with one of my friends. FML

#18940800
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32601) - you deserved it (2693)

On 01/29/2012 at 4:55am - love - by brokeandsingle - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was having dinner with my college friends to celebrate the end of our first year. I said really great things about them as individuals. The only thing they had to say to me was, "Thanks for being the token black friend." FML

#19624704
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22550) - you deserved it (2693)

On 05/14/2012 at 10:23pm - misc - by foreverbrown (man) - United States

Today, I had been trying to text my girlfriend all day, but no reply. After a while, I became worried so I called. She picked up and said, "Can't talk, busy." Not even a minute later, my best friend says to me, "Dude, tell your girlfriend to leave me alone. She's been texting me all day." FML

#20407951
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41209) - you deserved it (2693)

On 12/19/2012 at 6:31pm - misc - by SugarMyBalls (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my grandson visited me, and asked if I had any pictures of myself from when I was a little girl. I happily looked for a few photos to give him, asking what had piqued his curiosity. He replied that he wanted some for a presentation he's doing on the Middle Ages. FML

#20555821
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32138) - you deserved it (2693) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/22/2013 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Lorraine)

Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML

#15048725
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26549) - you deserved it (2692)

On 02/20/2011 at 3:35am - misc - by Katie - Reserved

Today, I was given the ultimate ultimatum: either I suffer excruciating stomach pains and remain a hostage to the porcelain whirlpool goddess, or I stop taking pain medication and face the wrath of a raging infection in my jaw. FML

#14743566
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26265) - you deserved it (2692)

On 01/28/2011 at 2:26pm - health - by Damn.... (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML

#20188543
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20747) - you deserved it (2692)

On 12/02/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by :/ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend called me over for dinner. When I walked in the door, he asked why I was here; apparently he dialed the wrong girlfriend. FML

#13287186
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35547) - you deserved it (2691)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: