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Today, my car was found with a smashed window and a torn-apart steering column, in order to hot-wire it. The thief didn't get away with my car, though. The engine was in the garage, where I've been working on it for two days. FML

Today, while playing soccer, I was kicked so hard in the shin that my tibia snapped. The snap was so loud that even the audience heard. As we waited for an ambulance, my mom started yelling for me to get off the field so the game could continue. FML

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over breakfast. In the afternoon I got to smile at him prettily for hours because he was the photographer in a session neither of us could get out of. FML

#12677890
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25836) - you deserved it (2477)

On 08/22/2010 at 3:24am - love - by lee (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, at work, I was trying to repeat an order back to this guy, when his drunk girlfriend started to interrupt me. Whenever I would open my mouth, she would say "Blah blah blah." Literally. Eventually, I gave up. I got his order wrong, and got yelled at by my manager for not repeating his order. FML

#13456460
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23846) - you deserved it (2476)

On 10/15/2010 at 6:52am - work - by ziatenaj - United States (California)

Today, my mother asked my live-in girlfriend if she's had any problems with me peeing the bed. I haven't wet the bed since I was seven and I'd hoped to take that secret to my grave. FML

#13345478
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24166) - you deserved it (2476)

On 10/06/2010 at 6:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband and I got into a fight because I refused to let him use my finger nail to clean the plaque off his teeth. FML

#19241359
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22310) - you deserved it (2476)

On 03/08/2012 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, my drunk brother thought I could withstand a metal chair being slammed across my back like on the wrestling shows. I guess he didn't know that the shows are fake. FML

#16964534
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26732) - you deserved it (2475)

On 07/03/2011 at 7:04pm - health - by drunkinriot - United States

Today, my mother screamed and swore at me because I said I was looking to move out soon. Apparently, the idea of me moving out at 27 and her getting a job to pay her own way is devastating. FML

#19253027
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25700) - you deserved it (2475)

On 03/10/2012 at 6:37pm - misc - by whyme - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was grounded by my mom because I had slept in past 11, when she wanted me to wake up at seven to do chores. According to her logic, I should have seen the note she left on the counter earlier this morning. FML

#19545380
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24682) - you deserved it (2475)

On 04/28/2012 at 11:55pm - misc - by thyisnothorses - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my mother that Americans are not the only people who celebrate Christmas. FML

#20419656
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28143) - you deserved it (2475)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had a formal complaint filed against me for being outrageously rude to a customer. All I did was tell a customer that she couldn't use food stamps at the movie theater. FML

#20620985
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43624) - you deserved it (2475)

On 04/25/2013 at 3:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML

#6089895
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20484) - you deserved it (2474)

On 10/31/2009 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by thornrose22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered the true meaning of being scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needless to say something emerged from me. FML



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