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Today, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML

#17986846
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37384) - you deserved it (3158)

On 10/15/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by Ania (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

#20044244
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24979) - you deserved it (3158)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:57am - love - by kvdfan (woman) - United States

Today, I broke my toe. After telling my friend about it, he promptly stomped on it to "see what my reaction would be." FML

#13083989
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30235) - you deserved it (3157)

On 09/17/2010 at 7:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was extremely constipated. This is a side effect of the medication I take to alleviate my stomach condition. Due to this same condition I can't eat much roughage. We have no laxatives or stool softeners, and I have been shitting bricks for three days. FML

#14124824
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21986) - you deserved it (3157)

On 12/07/2010 at 9:38pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, me and a couple of friends decided to go camping in a national park . When we got there, a ranger came up to us and said, "There have been many sightings of coyotes, don't worry, if they charge you, they'll bluff and flee at the last moment." We met a coyote, it didn't bluff. FML

#10594461
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26729) - you deserved it (3157)

On 05/17/2010 at 7:00pm - misc - by Coyote (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got back from camp. My camp-mates? A girl who refused to shower the entire week, a girl who threatened to hurt me several times, a snorer, my princess of a sister who took forever in the mornings, and a counselor who watched us sleep. FML

#17316346
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34634) - you deserved it (3157)

On 07/31/2011 at 1:45am - misc - by Tireddddddd (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

#19941503
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23159) - you deserved it (3157)

On 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended like it never happened. FML

Today, my boss was fired by the board. A few days ago, he dropped several strong hints that he was going to promote me soon. FML

#21133376
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43064) - you deserved it (3157)

On 05/07/2014 at 4:57pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - India (Jammu and Kashmir)

Today, my co-worker told me how "lucky" I am that I "chose" to be a lesbian, because I don't have to deal with "guy drama". I spent two years of my adolescence sleeping at a bus stop and begging strangers for money after I got kicked out of home. FML

#21427509
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34415) - you deserved it (3157)

On 06/17/2015 at 9:31am - misc - by Lesbihonest (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by canceling our relationship status on Facebook. I commented in disbelief, only for my dad to reply "#rekt", then "But seriously, about time. She's gonna give your balls back, right?" Thanks for the support. FML

#21334865
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26483) - you deserved it (3157)

On 01/11/2015 at 12:57am - love - by kumcat (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that while I see a therapist for my trust issues, my husband sleeps with our nanny. FML

#13885002
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39344) - you deserved it (3156)

On 11/18/2010 at 4:23am - intimacy - by nevergonnatrust -

Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML

#15067596
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38041) - you deserved it (3156)

On 02/21/2011 at 5:20pm - misc - by thissucks - United States (California)



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