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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out that the gentle, adorable oral surgeon who took out my wisdom teeth last year was recently arrested for rape. FML

#18416702
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27841) - you deserved it (2236)

On 12/03/2011 at 1:43am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after I requested a sick day, a very close co-worker texted her boyfriend that I'm a bitch for pretending to have the same rare illness that she recently suffered. She said it was unlikely, disrespectful and unfair that I didn't even look sick. I know this because she texted me instead. FML

#20037042
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20140) - you deserved it (2236)

On 08/23/2012 at 3:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my manager bailed on me during the afternoon rush; swamped and distracted, I cut off the pad of my thumb in a cheese slicer. Some clinic hours later I returned, hungry and sick with blood loss, to sign WC papers. Manager's only words: "You're staying late to cover your long break, right?" FML

#1708480
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48677) - you deserved it (2235)

On 05/07/2009 at 12:53am - work - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML

#13550544
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23534) - you deserved it (2235)

On 10/22/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (More og Romsdal)

Today, my boyfriend accidentally called me from his pocket. I thought it would be funny to see what him and his friends were talking about. I laughed when I heard him talking about us fooling around until I realized it wasn't me. FML

#5839151
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26347) - you deserved it (2234)

On 10/15/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Em - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in agonizing pain and couldn't move. My parents said they couldn't take me to the ER until the football game on TV was over. FML

#7249954
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24985) - you deserved it (2234)

On 01/10/2010 at 12:55am - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, my parents took my laptop, cut the Internet, took my car keys and TV, and removed my bedroom door. Why? Because they thought the plant I was growing for my science project was a marijuana plant. Oh yeah, they took that too. My presentation is tomorrow. FML

#8965755
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30649) - you deserved it (2234)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by Kevin - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML

#9030368
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21341) - you deserved it (2234)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML

#14493785
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20208) - you deserved it (2234)

On 01/07/2011 at 3:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00am. FML

#14389262
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16002) - you deserved it (2234)

On 12/30/2010 at 12:08am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she bought the same perfume that my boyfriend got me for Christmas last year. He loves that perfume. Now, whenever he smells me, he's going to think of his mom. FML

#18097198
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21469) - you deserved it (2234)

On 10/28/2011 at 4:25pm - love - by Annoyed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

#20500833
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28413) - you deserved it (2234)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:17am - kids - by littlemiss - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was grounded by my dad for "popping pills like a gangbanger". I take prescription ADHD medicine and a multi-vitamin. FML

#20863675
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34118) - you deserved it (2234)

On 09/01/2013 at 9:15pm - love - by zephyrgk - United States (Illinois)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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Thursday 10 April 2014

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