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Today, I tried to convince my daughter that the "To boldly go where no man has gone before" speech is from Star Trek, and is not an actual historical speech by the first man on the moon. She has decided to include it in her university essay on Neil Armstrong anyway. FML

Today, the people living below me have been blasting their music so loudly that I can hear every word as clear as day. The people next door think it's my music and feel the need to bang on the wall and blast their music just as loudly in revenge. I have two very important exams tomorrow. FML

#20515010
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33881) - you deserved it (2916)

On 02/20/2013 at 3:40pm - misc - by Ughh! - France

Today, my boyfriend tried to whimsically serenade me by throwing rocks at my apartment window and singing. He got the wrong window. Another guy answered, and now he thinks I'm cheating on him. FML

#20559286
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36686) - you deserved it (2916)

On 03/25/2013 at 10:48am - love - by Faaccckkk (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML

#20968220
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43276) - you deserved it (2916)

On 11/23/2013 at 6:45pm - misc - by fs (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boss confessed to me that she doesn't know how to change the staples in the staplers at work, so she just switches them when they run out. We work at an office supply store. She makes six figures. I make $10 an hour. And she just got awarded a trip to Aruba for doing a "great job". FML

#1280200
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57037) - you deserved it (2915)

On 04/24/2009 at 12:36am - work - by Idiocracy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I bought some really expensive face wipes that were supposed to cure my awful acne. I was excited to use them until I found out my mom had used them all wiping down her car. FML

Today, I was at my job as a flight attendant. A passenger on my plane stopped breathing and turned blue. As I cleared his airways and was busy strapping an oxygen mask to his face, the passenger behind him tried to hand me her trash. Apparently I'm a walking trash can, no matter what I'm doing. FML

#4100528
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62125) - you deserved it (2914)

On 07/28/2009 at 3:29am - work - by skygoddess (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up with a bloody nose and my lamp next to me in bed. Apparently I grabbed the cord of the lamp and yanked while I was sleeping, and it fell on my face. The worst part? My boyfriend saw it was going to happen, but didn't stop me because he thought it would be funny to "see my reaction." FML

#6313431
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25134) - you deserved it (2914)

On 11/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by oww - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that my brother is engaged to marry an ex-girlfriend of mine. This comes almost two months after my brother divorced ANOTHER ex-girlfriend of mine. FML

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML

#19391692
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24570) - you deserved it (2914)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, someone stole my umbrella. It was pouring heavily, and I was using it at the time. FML

#20914908
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38351) - you deserved it (2914)

On 10/10/2013 at 7:27am - misc - by happyturtle (woman) - Croatia

Today, I learned my 40 year old father is marrying a girl barely a year and a half older than me. She told me not to be afraid to call her mom. I was torn between punching her in the face and vomiting. FML

#3264690
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66244) - you deserved it (2913)

On 06/27/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by OfCourse (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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