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Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was just wearing socks. FML

#16693416
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33024) - you deserved it (3203)

On 06/16/2011 at 10:24am - misc - by RedheadA (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while waiting at the park for my friend, an intoxicated tramp came up to me and asked me out. After I politely declined, he snatched the phone from my hand, threw it on the ground, screamed that I was a "two-timing whore", and staggered away. FML

#17334083
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28685) - you deserved it (3202)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:29pm - misc - by Emma - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that the building I just moved into contains both a drummer and an opera singer. Both are very dedicated to their craft and practice frequently. FML

#17728385
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28701) - you deserved it (3202)

On 09/12/2011 at 3:00pm - misc - by OperaLover (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my dog threw up on my bed while I was sleeping. I lost an hour of the day washing the vomit out with a rag, and my garbage disposal jammed on whatever otherworldly things my dog ate the day before. I had to dig it out by hand. FML

#19123444
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20696) - you deserved it (3202)

On 02/20/2012 at 2:39pm - animals - by good_gravy (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML

#19908748
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29874) - you deserved it (3202)

On 07/08/2012 at 7:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, it's the first day of fall. It's also the day that over 20 people have made jokes about my name being "Autumn" like they're the funniest, most original people alive. It's not even 8 am. This is going to be a long day. FML

#21263689
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33115) - you deserved it (3202)

On 09/23/2014 at 8:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, it's my birthday. When I asked my mom if we were gonna do anything special for my birthday. She said, "don't lie to me. It's not your birthday." FML

#21238688
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45644) - you deserved it (3202)

On 08/16/2014 at 1:09am - misc - by bad birthdays - United States (California)

Today, some idiot introduced my grandmother to yoga pants. FML

#21306857
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33923) - you deserved it (3203)

On 11/27/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I saw photos of my boyfriend at his 25th birthday party. The one he told me was cancelled. FML

#5659886
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41591) - you deserved it (3201)

On 10/05/2009 at 9:55am - love - by Konstantine (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was dumped by my girlfriend due to our long distance relationship. She then agreed to date my best friend who lives in the same town as me. FML

#12447097
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35695) - you deserved it (3201)

On 08/11/2010 at 2:50am - love - by sadface - United States

Today, my mum told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time. FML

#14671096
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38585) - you deserved it (3201)

On 01/22/2011 at 5:03am - intimacy - by Theaccident (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to console my drunk dad over his girlfriend breaking up with him. When he said, "You know why we broke up don't you?" I replied, "Yeah, you were fighting a lot, right?" Wrong. I then had to explain to him that his erectile dysfunction wasn't something to be embarrassed about. FML

#15879930
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34315) - you deserved it (3201)

On 04/21/2011 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I arrived at the beach for a week's vacation. I walk on the beach only to find they are "rebuilding" it. They have heavy machinery all over the place, they work 24/7, and this only happens every 15 years. Glad I picked this week. FML

#17394480
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24841) - you deserved it (3201)

On 08/07/2011 at 3:22am - misc - by me - United States



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