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Today, the 9th grade dean called me into his office to talk. He asked me if I was new because it seemed like I was having trouble making friends. I've been going to the same school, with the same people, since kindergarten. FML

#61583
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41041) - you deserved it (2844)

On 02/17/2009 at 4:53pm - misc - by lene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend called me to come over because we "needed to talk." Going down the stairs, I tripped and fell. I woke up from unconsciousness with a hurting leg and my boyfriend standing over me. Just as I was about to smile and ask for a kiss, he said, "Maybe we should take a break" and left. FML

#6435138
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28586) - you deserved it (2844)

On 11/24/2009 at 11:08am - love - by Yes (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend told me that she gave my number to a guy I've liked for a while. I asked why and she just said "He's just going to have to tell you himself." I got hopeful and really nervous. A few hours later he calls. Turns out, he's called to try and get a date with my gay friend. FML

#3491271
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34035) - you deserved it (2844)

On 07/04/2009 at 10:40pm - love - by Single4Life (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML

#19668555
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22022) - you deserved it (2844)

On 05/23/2012 at 5:14pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while I was looking for a file on my boyfriend's hard drive, I came across photos of a half-naked woman wearing my clothes, but whose head wasn't really visible. When I demanded an explanation, I realised that it wasn't another girl - it was him. FML

#581
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29138) - you deserved it (2843)

On 12/23/2008 at 11:11pm - love - by Lililaloose - Sent from mobile version

Today, I accidentally bumped into another car on the road. The worst of the damage was a slight chip to the other driver's paint, but she played it up so much that she ended up being taken away in an ambulance. I'm now terrified that the crazy bitch is going to sue me. FML

#20158993
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24926) - you deserved it (2843)

On 11/11/2012 at 2:11pm - money - by youfuckingslut (man) - United States

Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML

#18649632
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23281) - you deserved it (2842)

On 12/30/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Ashton Sprunger - United States

Today, I was working at my day-camp, and one of my little boys told me he had to show me something important. He proudly showed me that he'd crapped his pants. I had to wipe his ass clean. FML

#19039920
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22360) - you deserved it (2842)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:51am - kids - by ilana (woman) - United States

Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML

#20600180
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45805) - you deserved it (2842)

On 04/17/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Flora (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to listen to my boss say "Arabica beans" in a goofy, fake New England accent every time the McDonald's ice coffee commercial came on the radio. I worked a 12-hour shift. FML

#20937230
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31085) - you deserved it (2842)

On 10/28/2013 at 8:53pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I tripped and fell, damaging my sternum and making it incredibly painful to breathe in or out too much. About ten minutes later, I got the hiccups. FML

#20964854
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44730) - you deserved it (2842)

On 11/20/2013 at 6:53pm - health - by ChestExploding (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I spent the night in hospital. As soon as I was alone, I writhed and twisted in all directions in my attempts to pee in a bottle left precisely for that purpose. It was at that moment that the doctor, a good-looking guy, came in. My legs were spread wide and I was right in the middle of doing my business. FML

#338
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28618) - you deserved it (2841)

On 11/19/2008 at 12:59am - health - by la poisse - Sent from mobile version

Today, whilst I was in a corner deli getting snacks, my girlfriend thought it would be funny to drive the car 50m down the street so that I would be confused when I come out... She was picked up by a cop driving without her license and now my car is impounded for 28 days. FML

#5547295
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36252) - you deserved it (2841)

On 09/29/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)



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