Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I googled myself in preparation for my upcoming job interview. Turns out there's a girl on Twitter with my name and age who tweets nonstop about getting wasted and being on probation. She won't make her profile private. FML

#20944947
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45966) - you deserved it (3294)

On 11/04/2013 at 7:08am - work - by twitterfailsme (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, the only conversation I had with my mother where she didn't explode into a hissy fit was about peanut butter vs. almond butter. And even then she was starting to get mad at me. FML

#21006901
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35418) - you deserved it (3294)

On 12/27/2013 at 1:40am - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend took me to a very elegant and expensive restaurant to celebrate our anniversary. When it came to the check, I volunteered to pitch in half, which he rejected by saying "I got it". Little did I know was that "I got it" was short for "I got your credit card". FML

#20868496
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44330) - you deserved it (3293)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by IGOTIT (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my car alarm went off at a funeral, three times. FML

#20070406
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21457) - you deserved it (3292)

On 09/13/2012 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my family had a secret meeting on my "puberty issues." I'm 21. FML

#13847372
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28169) - you deserved it (3292)

On 11/14/2010 at 11:26pm - intimacy - by vansboy -

Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML

#16676929
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42959) - you deserved it (3292)

On 06/15/2011 at 12:42pm - health - by Braxam - United States

Today, the family in the apartment next to me decided to give their 4-year-old kid a recorder. It's been three hours. Kill me. FML

#21127541
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37829) - you deserved it (3292)

On 04/30/2014 at 10:13pm - kids - by pleasestop (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I had the most excitement I have felt in the last two months when I went to a drugstore and they had my favourite bandaids. FML

#21410948
69 comments

Today, I heard my skinny 14-year-old daughter tell her friend, "Ugh, I wish I had leukemia or something so that I could lose weight." Yes, she actually said that. FML

Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML

#8587618
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26637) - you deserved it (3290)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by disgusted - United States (Georgia)

Today, 50,000 copies of the new edition of the town's phone book came out. I manage a pizza place and bought a full menu ad. Apparently the ad designer got confused, as they placed my cell phone number in huge bold letters at the bottom of the ad instead of the store's phone number. FML

#12949707
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32756) - you deserved it (3290)

On 09/07/2010 at 3:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

#18336712
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31658) - you deserved it (3290)

On 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my mom signed me up for a swimming class to show my sister there's nothing to be afraid of. Considering I'm 17, I assumed I'd be in an advanced class. Instead, I get to spend summer blowing bubbles in the shallow end with four-year-olds as my little sister cheers me on from the steps. FML

#20758869
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38936) - you deserved it (3290)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:37pm - misc - by AwkwardPotato - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: