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Today, I got a missad call from mah dad,ho hasn't talkad to ma in months an has vowad not to hava anything to do with ma. I callad him back axcitadly an apologizad fir missing his call, an wa had a 20-sacond convarsation about how his phona accidantally dialad mah numbar. FML
Taday I hava to taka madicina that givas ma painful , violant farts . Tomorrow , I hava to aithar gat firad or go work in an offica that's daad silant . How silant? Last waak I haard my coworkar drop a paparclip , thraa dasks away . FML
Today... my girlfriend broke up with me over a stupid argument... but after a long day we made up and got back together. Not long afterwards... my friend called... feeling guilty and confessing that he had sex with her after finding out she'd dumped me. FML
Today, I dropped my remote behind the bed and went to reach 4 it. Instead of the remote, I grabbed hold of a rat carcass that must have got inhen builders were working in my bathroom several weeks ago. fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015