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Today, I got a missed call from my dad, who hasn't talked to me in months and has vowed not to have anything to do with me. I called him back excitedly and apologized for missing his call, and we had a 20-second conversation about how his phone accidentally dialed my number. FML

#886706
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60787) - you deserved it (3028)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML

#6316849
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32900) - you deserved it (3028)

On 11/15/2009 at 8:46pm - kids - by redisnotmycolor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out who the father of my sister's 4 year old son is. My husband of 7 years. FML

#5928824
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60897) - you deserved it (3028)

On 10/21/2009 at 2:31pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, we were in the car with my puppy, who favours my sister. She had been sat on her lap for a while, when she stood up and climbed onto my lap. I was really pleased until she peed on me and then went straight back to my sister. FML

#13082882
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29972) - you deserved it (3028)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by PuppyPeeTimee. - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I was sleeping like a baby on our living room couch. My older brother and his friends lit my slippers on fire. While I was wearing them. They even took a video. FML

#17261377
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30711) - you deserved it (3028)

On 07/26/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by Ep1cF4ce - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

#19379891
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21222) - you deserved it (3028)

On 03/31/2012 at 12:22am - health - by GetHardOrGoHome - United States (Ohio)

Today, while jogging, a guy tackled me and got my iPhone. Being a good runner, I caught up with him and grabbed him. Next thing I knew, I was on the ground with a policeman yelling in my ear. The guy got away. FML

#20764590
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52064) - you deserved it (3028)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML

#21281374
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32128) - you deserved it (3028)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:20pm - kids - by team hit bella with a car (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I couldn't trust her after cheating on me with 3 guys. Our friends are sad about it so they're throwing her a pity party. Now I'm single and I have no friends. FML

#6441819
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34664) - you deserved it (3027)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:57am - love - by whatthewhat? - United States

Today, I got into my car after a long shift at work. When I looked in my rear view mirror, a horrifyingly evil face grinned at me from the back window. I leaped out of the car, only to be chased around by two people in clown masks. It turned out to be a prank set up by my co-workers. FML

#18112365
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28439) - you deserved it (3027)

On 10/30/2011 at 3:13pm - work - by Katrin - Norway

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mother thinks I'm a loser and a scumbag. We haven't even met yet. FML

#16807488
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28072) - you deserved it (3027)

On 06/22/2011 at 11:00pm - love - by arekusa - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

#20167650
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21669) - you deserved it (3027)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)

Today, one of my neighbors dressed up in the exact same costume as me. Every house I go to refuses to give me candy because my neighbor has already been there. FML

#18123545
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29075) - you deserved it (3026)

On 10/31/2011 at 8:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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