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Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

#20528775
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30893) - you deserved it (3201)

On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)

Today, my very drunk mom called me to confess that she was the girl that my boyfriend left me for two years ago. FML

#20696605
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55816) - you deserved it (3201)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:20am - love - by wtf mom - United States (California)

Today, some idiot introduced my grandmother to yoga pants. FML

#21306857
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33914) - you deserved it (3201)

On 11/27/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was dumped by my girlfriend due to our long distance relationship. She then agreed to date my best friend who lives in the same town as me. FML

#12447097
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35684) - you deserved it (3200)

On 08/11/2010 at 2:50am - love - by sadface - United States

Today, while waiting at the park for my friend, an intoxicated tramp came up to me and asked me out. After I politely declined, he snatched the phone from my hand, threw it on the ground, screamed that I was a "two-timing whore", and staggered away. FML

#17334083
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28673) - you deserved it (3200)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:29pm - misc - by Emma - United States (New York)

Today, after a long therapy session, in which I poured out all my feelings of how happy and in love I am with whom I believe to be my soul-mate, my shrink asked me if I was sure this guy wasn't a figment of my imagination. FML

#18576133
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25223) - you deserved it (3200)

On 12/22/2011 at 12:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog threw up on my bed while I was sleeping. I lost an hour of the day washing the vomit out with a rag, and my garbage disposal jammed on whatever otherworldly things my dog ate the day before. I had to dig it out by hand. FML

#19123444
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20675) - you deserved it (3200)

On 02/20/2012 at 2:39pm - animals - by good_gravy (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my little sister is having a friend spend the night. Our rooms are right next to one another and the walls are thin. We are now entering the fourth hour of a singing contest so off-key that it should be illegal. FML

#20933172
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40893) - you deserved it (3200)

On 10/25/2013 at 2:48am - misc - by ThisIsAgony - United States (Nevada)

Today, I saw photos of my boyfriend at his 25th birthday party. The one he told me was cancelled. FML

#5659886
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41571) - you deserved it (3199)

On 10/05/2009 at 9:55am - love - by Konstantine (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I won a raffle organised by a friend. I discovered one of the "prizes" was actually a present that I had given to her, that she had "loved". When I asked her where she had gotten it, she said, "Oh, just some crap someone gave me once." She didn't even remember that I had given it to her. FML

#6036914
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30676) - you deserved it (3199)

On 10/28/2009 at 7:00am - misc - by Rhea (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. While we were fooling around, she started squeezing my cheeks and told me I remind her of her son. FML

#8434762
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21712) - you deserved it (3199)

On 02/19/2010 at 2:41am - intimacy - by Brett meek - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mum told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time. FML

#14671096
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38556) - you deserved it (3199)

On 01/22/2011 at 5:03am - intimacy - by Theaccident (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML

#17575215
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32674) - you deserved it (3199)

On 08/25/2011 at 2:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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