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Today, when I took a nap on the couch, a spider crawled into my mouth. How do I know? My boyfriend filmed it and laughed. FML

#12087035
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33958) - you deserved it (3397)

On 07/24/2010 at 3:59pm - animals - by Whateversz (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML

#20565029
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39165) - you deserved it (3397)

On 03/29/2013 at 4:23am - work - by CoolStoryBro -

Today, my sister came out of her room sobbing uncontrollably. When I asked what was wrong, she put her fingers in my face and asked if they smelled like pickles, and if "that's normal for girls". They did. It's not. FML

#20880468
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45073) - you deserved it (3397)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:42am - health - by Carebeareatu (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't be able to cover his share of the rent because he didn't work during the week, saying business has been slow. I checked and found out he called in sick four times. He wanted to stay home and watch online gaming matches. FML

#21312891
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30657) - you deserved it (3396)

On 12/06/2014 at 11:52pm - misc - by he wasn't even playing - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML

#12080410
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28459) - you deserved it (3395)

On 07/24/2010 at 3:44am - misc - by earths_venus - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my parents informed that the man I am going to marry made the newspaper, on page twelve. He is listed as a fugitive and there is a warrant out for his arrest. FML

#19982796
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26879) - you deserved it (3395)

On 07/25/2012 at 1:27am - misc - by strangebeans (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that when my dad said he would pay for my college, he really meant that he was going to forge my signature on a student loan in my name and not make payments on it. FML

#20927730
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48370) - you deserved it (3395)

On 10/20/2013 at 4:34pm - money - by oh... (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

#20952633
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37090) - you deserved it (3395)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by fuck you, bitchcake (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I are divorcing because HE had an affair. He now wants a paternity test. FML

#14024003
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34390) - you deserved it (3394)

On 11/29/2010 at 2:20pm - kids - by preggers - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years dumped me for a chick I shared a hospital room with for 2 months. I introduced them. FML

#17965522
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34942) - you deserved it (3394)

On 10/12/2011 at 2:11am - love - by anonymous - Canada

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

#20081849
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29353) - you deserved it (3394)

On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

#15857597
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35670) - you deserved it (3393)

On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -

Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the bathroom, came back, and saw him walk over the remote, which caused the TV to change to the Hustler channel, just a few moments before my girlfriend walked through the door. FML

#20157085
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22747) - you deserved it (3393)

On 11/10/2012 at 1:51am - animals - by Sam l. - United States



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