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Today, I arrived at the beach for a week's vacation. I walk on the beach only to find they are "rebuilding" it. They have heavy machinery all over the place, they work 24/7, and this only happens every 15 years. Glad I picked this week. FML

#17394480
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26896) - you deserved it (3407)

On 08/07/2011 at 3:22am - misc - by me - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant and sat at the last available table, which had a seat available across from me. A cute girl approached and asked if she could sit down, so I said "Sure" and made some room. She then asked "You're leaving, right?" FML

Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML

#18803544
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27031) - you deserved it (3407)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss told me that there is no point in making me cut onions anymore because every time I do, I look like I've "been beaten", and can't be seen by the customers for at least half an hour. FML

#21091068
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33375) - you deserved it (3407)

On 03/19/2014 at 6:24pm - work - by Embarassed (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my parents asked if they could borrow my car. Why? Because they were going to see someone about a Craig's List ad and wanted to look poor. FML

#5657528
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36466) - you deserved it (3406)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:38am - money - by poorcar (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I invited the guy I've been seeing to my home for the first time. He spent over an hour talking to my twelve-year-old dog. Occasionally he would look up to ask me a question, but when I answered he would just continue talking to the dog. FML

#6205717
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26937) - you deserved it (3406)

On 11/08/2009 at 12:28am - animals - by lessinterestingthanadog (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML

#19355965
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20895) - you deserved it (3406)

On 03/27/2012 at 3:40am - misc - by blueglover - United States (California)

Today, my biology professor was giving a lecture to everyone and used me as an example. For what? Traits men are repulsed by in potential mates. FML

#21119838
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40288) - you deserved it (3406)

On 04/22/2014 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML

#4912906
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42788) - you deserved it (3405)

On 08/29/2009 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Ned (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after my son graduated from nursing school which I, as a single parent, paid for with blood, sweat, and tears, during his grad party he was asked what his next step was. His response was, "Eh, I kinda realized I hate nursing." FML

#18060058
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36468) - you deserved it (3405)

On 10/24/2011 at 12:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a message from my teacher about my homework. We were supposed to write an original myth explaining a natural event. My teacher bumped my grade for it down to a C for copying a myth that already exists. My myth was based on an original story I've been writing for two years. FML

#20869277
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39939) - you deserved it (3405)

On 09/05/2013 at 7:27pm - misc - by WritesTooWell - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out I do not have a fast metabolism, I've actually had a tape worm living inside me for 3 years. FML

#20875969
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58420) - you deserved it (3405)

On 09/10/2013 at 5:41pm - health - by Iskylite (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after months of job hunting, I finally got a phone interview with a company. Excited, I prepared for the interview and conducted extensive research on the company. The interview ended within a minute. They'd got the wrong person. FML

#21219731
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42820) - you deserved it (3405)

On 07/24/2014 at 10:04pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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