Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML

Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered by stuffing raw hamburger meat down all the drains in the apartment. FML

#18260182
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20638) - you deserved it (2379)

On 11/15/2011 at 11:15pm - misc - by ledon (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I woke up to the sight of a zucchini and a condom on my bedside table, along with a note saying "I know it's tough being single." Apparently my mom has boundary issues, my dad will laugh at anything, and the fact I just got dumped means nothing. FML

#19437878
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25591) - you deserved it (2379)

On 04/09/2012 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by Madeline Lee (woman) - France (Aquitaine)

Today, while I was getting intimate with my husband, he moaned someone else's name. He actually tried to explain himself by saying that he'd had a "divine encounter," and while "possessed by the Lord," he'd been told the name of our future daughter. FML

#20003981
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33318) - you deserved it (2381)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by lils (woman) - United States

Today, I got a call from my son's school saying to pick him up because he'd shat his pants. He's in high school. FML

#20119263
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23203) - you deserved it (2379)

On 10/16/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by Mike - United States

Today, my ex-wife, whom I divorced just 8 months ago, asked me to attend her wedding, because "it would mean a lot" to her. She's marrying the man she cheated on me with. FML

#20651917
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44390) - you deserved it (2379)

On 05/09/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that I was conceived during a conjugal visit. FML

#6089701
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28144) - you deserved it (2378)

On 10/31/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered the worst possible situation in which to get explosive diarrhea: on a 9-hour transatlantic flight. Next to an attractive single guy. FML

#1094822
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57763) - you deserved it (2378)

On 04/18/2009 at 7:11pm - health - by crapgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that the seal on my driver's door is defective. I made this discovery when I got rained on while I was getting my car washed. FML

#7678030
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16535) - you deserved it (2378)

On 01/29/2010 at 4:38pm - misc - by minette08 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML

#18728247
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26554) - you deserved it (2378)

On 01/06/2012 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Gemma - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was meeting the mayor of a major city as part of an internship program. Seated directly in front of him during his presentation on the budget crisis, he unleashed an enormous, foul fart in front of the entire audience. And then blamed it on me, everyone believed him. FML

#3859879
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46917) - you deserved it (2377)

On 07/18/2009 at 4:10pm - work - by justdoingmyjob (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my anxiety disorder has escalated to where I now scratch and pick at my face while asleep. Now I get to sleep with oven mitts taped to my hands. FML

#7354954
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24833) - you deserved it (2377)

On 01/15/2010 at 7:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I drove a friend to the emergency room because he thought he had appendicitis. While sitting in the waiting room, I got puked on by a child. My friend's diagnosis? Gas. So he also farted all the way home. FML

#14813495
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21703) - you deserved it (2377)

On 02/02/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by alephnull (man) - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: