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Today, at 3:00 am, I sat with my 3 year-old adopted daughter while she tried to go back to sleep. She had had a nightmare, and I read that "not leaving" was the most important thing a father could do. My wife woke and called me a pervert for sitting there. FML

#3768718
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61725) - you deserved it (2826)

On 07/15/2009 at 4:02am - kids - by me (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

#8541185
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23456) - you deserved it (2826)

On 02/22/2010 at 12:44am - health - by Username - United States

Today, I met my brother for the first time in 20 years. Everything was going great, until he tried to make out with me. FML

#19094213
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43171) - you deserved it (2826)

On 02/16/2012 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML

#21069925
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35800) - you deserved it (2826)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:01pm - animals - by crap - United States (Nevada)

Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML

#14269836
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32255) - you deserved it (2825)

On 12/20/2010 at 6:23am - misc - by anonymous -

Today, I've been on the same train for two hours at a standstill due to "signal problems". We can't get off because it's "unsafe". I'm on my way home from work and I can see my house through the window. FML

#15741918
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40746) - you deserved it (2825)

On 04/11/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by bananaman - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML

#18341424
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30785) - you deserved it (2825)

On 11/24/2011 at 9:09pm - intimacy - by vistingherfamily (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom learned how to use the text messaging on her smartphone. I've received 37 already, and she calls after every single one to make sure I understood her. FML

#18137674
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34520) - you deserved it (2825)

On 11/02/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, while volunteering at a local museum, I politely told an elderly gentleman to have a nice day. He responded by yelling "NO" and storming off. Everyone looked at me like I was some sort of monster. FML

#20741264
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37699) - you deserved it (2825)

On 06/22/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by me - United States (Ohio)

Today, it's my one year anniversary with my husband. I put on a sexy outfit, red dress and slinky underwear, and waited for him to get home. He walked in the door and asked me with a quizzical look if I was going out tonight. FML

#348
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27707) - you deserved it (2824)

On 11/20/2008 at 6:10am - love - by Ciabatta - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was alone in the car with my grandma for five hours while she told me all about the multiple bladder infections she's had in the past year. FML

#12599218
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25332) - you deserved it (2824)

On 08/18/2010 at 2:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom had the option of choosing anywhere in the world where we could go on vacation. We live in the USA and she chose to fly to Texas, rent an RV, and drive to Florida. Anywhere in the world. FML

#20482339
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31871) - you deserved it (2824)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:48pm - misc - by j_Lauren (woman) - United States

Today, I had my last orchestra concert and had a large solo. My dad came to watch and record it; however, the whole time he recorded another girl, thinking it was me. FML

#20728759
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43332) - you deserved it (2824)

On 06/16/2013 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)



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