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Today, my parents bought me a wine glass with "Who needs a man?" painted all over it. Cute, until after dinner my mom looked me in the eyes and asked with complete sincerity, "Kara, are you gay?" My parents tried to get me to come out. I'm straight. FML

#2140497
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50754) - you deserved it (3300)

On 05/21/2009 at 9:06am - misc - by pa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at the end of my shift with a long line of customers, the older woman I was checking out calmly said, "You should take a minute to fix your hair dear, we have all been talking about it while we waited." FML

#17818290
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24158) - you deserved it (3300)

On 09/24/2011 at 2:21am - work - by Cashier (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML

#20520875
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27568) - you deserved it (3300)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by why the fuck would you do that - United States (Arizona)

Today, at the café I work at, I was yelled at by a woman because the drinks and food she ordered were "taking too long". Before I had the chance to get a word in, she stormed out and said she would never come back. I didn't get the chance to inform her that she hadn't ordered yet. FML

#21106207
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43291) - you deserved it (3300)

On 04/06/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, the power went out at school. As a senior, I don't show up until third period. When I got there, I signed in as usual. The office secretary waited until I signed in to tell me that if I hadn't, I wouldn't have to attend classes that day. Now I have to sit in class doing nothing. FML

#21315594
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27493) - you deserved it (3301)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:20pm - misc - by KCHS - United States

Today, I received a phone call from the counselor at my son's preschool, requesting that I come pick him up. He was barking incessantly at his classmates. And when they asked him to stop, he growled. FML

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

#21363391
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30526) - you deserved it (3300)

On 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by Fuck - United States (Michigan)

Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

#14656161
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24874) - you deserved it (3299)

On 01/20/2011 at 10:55pm - health - by Username -

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML

#20466661
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31380) - you deserved it (3299)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by dpap - United States (Iowa)

Today, I passed my math test with flying colors. My dad thought I had cheated, so he emailed the school and told them that I had. They lowered my grade. FML

#20912578
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57764) - you deserved it (3299)

On 10/08/2013 at 3:17pm - misc - by mathgenius - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I went to a garden party my friend had invited me to. I soon discovered they had seriously downplayed the formality of the event, as I noticed trays of fancy hors d'oeuvres and glasses of champagne lined up on the table. I showed up with Kool Aid and Ritz crackers. FML

#21448484
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23374) - you deserved it (3305)

On 07/28/2015 at 8:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, after going to college for 5 years to become an architect I discover my plumber makes more than I do. FML

#761
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22220) - you deserved it (3298)

On 12/30/2008 at 6:16am - work - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking downstairs to the subway. At the top of the stairs this hobo was peeing. Two seconds before, I told my friend I felt rain. It wasn't rain. FML

#1519871
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57518) - you deserved it (3298)

On 05/01/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by DudeManBro69 (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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