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Today, I'm forced to eat half a package of saltine crackers in my room for dinner. I can't go downstairs to the kitchen because my two roommates are going at it on our kitchen table. FML

by robzzz / 02/16/2012 at 2:13am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, some Juggalos mocked me for the way I was dressed. Juggalos giving sartorial advice, really? FML

by amazed / 04/18/2012 at 7:08pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my husband of 12 years has been sleeping with my best friend of even longer for who knows how long. She actually tried to turn it around on me and implied that it was my fault for finding out about it. FML

by wow / 05/27/2013 at 12:17pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over a stupid argument, but after a long day we made up and got back together. Not long afterwards, my friend called, feeling guilty and confessing that he had sex with her after finding out she'd dumped me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/07/2015 at 2:37pm / Guam / Love

Today, I went on my very first date. We went out to eat dinner and everything went great! Afterwards, I went to drop him back off at his house. I backed out of his driveway and got stuck in a ditch. His dad had to come out and tow me out. So that's how I met my boyfriend's parents. FML

by firstdategoals / 06/07/2015 at 11:35pm / United States / Transportation

Today, my kitchen is flooded, and according to my landlord, this is normal, because it rained last night. Funny, I thought the purpose of a roof was to stop water from getting in. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2011 at 7:22am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML

by HK / 05/16/2012 at 6:38pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Love

Today, I was supposed to be studying for an important exam. My parents decided to make me go to a surprise birthday party instead. We weren't allowed to leave until the party was over. The party was for the dog. FML

by SchoolFMLs / 02/27/2014 at 1:30pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I live with my mother and realized she goes out with her friends and dates more times a week than I do in a single month. FML

by lousy / 01/31/2009 at 5:23pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML

by crazygirl12 / 07/29/2011 at 11:18am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, the lady whose son I babysit sent me a text, saying she left a gift for me for all the hard work I've done. I found a beautifully-wrapped box where she said the gift was. It turned out my actual gift was cookies sitting right next to it. FML

by 1dvos_grl3 / 12/19/2014 at 7:53am / United States (Louisiana) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I paid a local homeless man to rake the leaves in my yard. After paying and driving him to the bus stop, I found his shit on my back porch. I need new shoes. FML

by jl_word / 02/04/2015 at 4:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my ex is applying for a job at my current company. She may be my boss. FML

by - Moved Across the Country / 08/06/2011 at 2:05am / United States (California) / Work