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Today, my girlfriend was upset, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her how much I love her and how beautiful she is. After a minute, her face started to light up. I thought it had worked until I realized that she was being cheered up by the friends she was talking to online. FML

#3159457
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42096) - you deserved it (3603)

On 06/23/2009 at 10:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML

#8540042
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25847) - you deserved it (3603)

On 02/22/2010 at 12:17am - love - by shwasted (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

#17156963
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41342) - you deserved it (3603)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML

#17779668
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41649) - you deserved it (3603)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML

#20134512
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27203) - you deserved it (3603)

On 10/26/2012 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I got paired up with a coworker for a three-month project. All he talks about is how attractive my girlfriend is and what he would do with her. FML

#20901560
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47647) - you deserved it (3603)

On 09/30/2013 at 2:02am - work - by 3 More Months (man) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered my mom has been using my credit card to buy everyone's Christmas presents. FML

#20995385
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47321) - you deserved it (3603)

On 12/17/2013 at 12:02am - money - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

#21362166
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40866) - you deserved it (3603)

On 02/23/2015 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by sammy18f (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML

#6952293
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21609) - you deserved it (3602)

On 12/26/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

#7103723
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23702) - you deserved it (3602)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by xxxzzzooo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up very excited because I was going on my first date with this guy I really liked. I dressed very nicely and went to where we were supposed to meet. I waited for about 2 hours. I called him to ask him where he was. He got angry because he was still sleeping and I woke him up. FML

#12998632
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34670) - you deserved it (3602)

On 09/11/2010 at 12:47am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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