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Today, while I was getting intimate with my husband, he moaned someone else's name. He actually tried to explain himself by saying that he'd had a "divine encounter," and while "possessed by the Lord," he'd been told the name of our future daughter. FML

#20003981
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33313) - you deserved it (2379)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by lils (woman) - United States

Today, I got a call from my son's school saying to pick him up because he'd shat his pants. He's in high school. FML

#20119263
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23203) - you deserved it (2379)

On 10/16/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by Mike - United States

Today, my ex-wife, whom I divorced just 8 months ago, asked me to attend her wedding, because "it would mean a lot" to her. She's marrying the man she cheated on me with. FML

#20651917
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44389) - you deserved it (2379)

On 05/09/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that I was conceived during a conjugal visit. FML

#6089701
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28138) - you deserved it (2378)

On 10/31/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered the worst possible situation in which to get explosive diarrhea: on a 9-hour transatlantic flight. Next to an attractive single guy. FML

#1094822
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57754) - you deserved it (2378)

On 04/18/2009 at 7:11pm - health - by crapgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that the seal on my driver's door is defective. I made this discovery when I got rained on while I was getting my car washed. FML

#7678030
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16534) - you deserved it (2378)

On 01/29/2010 at 4:38pm - misc - by minette08 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML

#18728247
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26552) - you deserved it (2378)

On 01/06/2012 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Gemma - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was on a bumpy bus ride and had to write a note, so I held my notebook against the bus window to steady my hand. An elderly woman then yelled at me, accusing me of drawing graffiti on the window. The bus driver kicked me off and I had to wait an hour in the rain for the next bus. FML

#20561950
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30346) - you deserved it (2378)

On 03/27/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by 00sasori - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was meeting the mayor of a major city as part of an internship program. Seated directly in front of him during his presentation on the budget crisis, he unleashed an enormous, foul fart in front of the entire audience. And then blamed it on me, everyone believed him. FML

#3859879
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46915) - you deserved it (2377)

On 07/18/2009 at 4:10pm - work - by justdoingmyjob (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I drove a friend to the emergency room because he thought he had appendicitis. While sitting in the waiting room, I got puked on by a child. My friend's diagnosis? Gas. So he also farted all the way home. FML

#14813495
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21700) - you deserved it (2377)

On 02/02/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by alephnull (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mother told my little sister and me that she has breast cancer to make us feel sorry so that we would clean our rooms. She is perfectly fine. My little sister still thinks that "mommy is going to die". FML

#16787044
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33897) - you deserved it (2377)

On 06/21/2011 at 7:51pm - health - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my coworker was talking to me about how there's always that one person in a group of friends that everyone secretly dislikes and laughs at. I realized that person is me. FML

#19434317
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20138) - you deserved it (2377)

On 04/09/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Foreveralone (woman) - United States

Today, My 5 year old sister informed me she had left me a present in my bed. She had tied a ribbon around a dead rat's neck and propped it up on my pillow. The label says his name was Bert. FML

#3237157
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39045) - you deserved it (2378)

On 06/26/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by toothfairy (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



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