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Today, my ex called me up to suggest that we become friends, only so that she could introduce me to her new boyfriend. FML

#21375599
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110) - you deserved it (3205)

On 03/16/2015 at 10:36am - love - by xswitch74 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, a coworker jokingly noted that my signature looks like "Pedo". I couldn't see it that way, so I asked some other people for their opinion. They confessed they'd always thought it looked like "Pedo", but never said anything. My name is Peele. I've been signing it off as Pedo for 10 years. FML

#21381199
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26707) - you deserved it (3205)

On 03/25/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by peele - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I was walking to work and saw three guys sitting at a table outside. One of the guys looks at me and says to his friends, "That's the girl that works at the grocery store. She replaced the hot chick." The other two guys glared at me. FML

#3028813
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42897) - you deserved it (3204)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, My friend and I were stopped at a red light while it was pouring rain. We heard a screeching noise off in the distance and thought, "Hope someone doesn't get hit." Someone did get hit. We did. From behind. FML

#915391
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48459) - you deserved it (3204)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by RainyDay (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend, her grandma, and I were leaving her house to eat lunch. I stubbed my toe on the door while exiting. It hurt, so I stood there shortly in pain. I heard my girlfriend's grandma call me a "pansy". I later saw blood and took off my shoe. My whole toenail had come off of my big toe. FML

#5053287
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45884) - you deserved it (3204)

On 09/05/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by HotCurry (man) - United States

Today, my little cousin is going to be staying at our house for a year or so, because of financial problems. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that every single night he creeps up on me while I'm sleeping, and shouts "GO F YOURSELF!" directly into my ear. Only another 11 months to go. FML

#13622060
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28681) - you deserved it (3204)

On 10/28/2010 at 12:44am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that the white marks on my pillow aren't from me drooling in my sleep like I originally thought. My roommate used my pillow to help support her lower back during intercourse with her hookup from last night. FML

#14948689
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37265) - you deserved it (3204)

On 02/12/2011 at 11:29am - intimacy - by KaraAnn17 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I heard someone calling my name. It was my neighbor. Turns out they named their dogs after my mother, my sister and me. FML

#18560105
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30418) - you deserved it (3204)

On 12/20/2011 at 6:49am - misc - by IHopeYourDogsGetDiarrheaAndPoopOnYourBed (woman) - Mauritius

Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML

#18586179
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30877) - you deserved it (3204)

On 12/23/2011 at 2:42am - intimacy - by balkangirl94 - United States (Florida)

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

#20940427
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48142) - you deserved it (3204)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to my ex. This afternoon I notice that they had accepted, and had left a message for me in my inbox. Asking how they knew me. FML

#2298
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22056) - you deserved it (3203)

On 01/23/2009 at 7:33am - love - by josh - United States (Indiana)

Today, I finally got enough courage to ask out this girl that I've liked for a year. While we were out at lunch, she ran into her ex that she had just broken up with. They then had a long conversation about their relationship, and ended up getting back together. She was my ride home. FML

#2853561
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49462) - you deserved it (3203)

On 06/13/2009 at 8:15am - love - by e.middlechild (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got T-boned by a woman going 60 mph. I was unconscious for hours while a tube was inserted into my collapsed lung. Upon waking up my 16-year old brother thought it would be hilarious to yank out my leg hairs. FML

#1144667
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79369) - you deserved it (3203)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:53am - health - by robinhoood (man) - United States (California)



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