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Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

#20183521
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20357) - you deserved it (2831)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as I was sitting in my car in a mall parking lot an old couple got into their new van and backed right into me. The man got out and in broken english decided it was no big deal. He turned to leave and tried to pat my back, but smacked my ass instead. I was hit by a car, and spanked for it. FML

#1274514
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44090) - you deserved it (2830)

On 04/23/2009 at 10:12pm - misc - by pleasebackintomycaragain (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I helped a "blind" man across the street. He kindly said thank you and patted me on the back. Then, I went into a store and realized my wallet was missing. FML

#8840238
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24302) - you deserved it (2830)

On 03/05/2010 at 2:50am - misc - by whyymee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my email got hacked and sent all my contacts something for Viagra. My husband thinks I really sent it to him on purpose and now won't even talk to me. FML

#12899582
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25698) - you deserved it (2830)

On 09/04/2010 at 9:24am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

#19928978
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33214) - you deserved it (2830)

On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I got on the subway with a broken leg. A kind woman stood up and offered me her seat. Before I could sit down, a guy shoved past me and took it for himself. The woman and I pointed out my cast and crutches, and asked him to give up the seat. He responded by flipping us off. FML

#20685391
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52238) - you deserved it (2830)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:14pm - misc - by a hex upon your anus, sir (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I took a girl out I've been seeing for two months on our first real date. I had saved all my money for the week for this. I took her to a beautiful restaurant uptown. She got hammered, hit me and screamed that I would never be as good as "Marshall." FML

#5758524
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38687) - you deserved it (2829)

On 10/10/2009 at 2:06pm - love - by pistonsunshine (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was told that I look like a cross between Roger Federer and Neil Patrick Harris. Apparently I have a big forehead and a squished face. FML

#13762185
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17779) - you deserved it (2829)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:32am - misc - by facingit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my husband announced that he wants to separate emotionally. Meanwhile, he still wants me to cook and clean for him while he dates his new girlfriend. FML

#19522114
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37868) - you deserved it (2829)

On 04/24/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML

#6298224
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26637) - you deserved it (2828)

On 11/14/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by squidwardpotatoes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a bad car wreck. I pulled over and ran to the car to find an unconscious man behind the wheel. Another car pulled up, and a guy got out. I was relieved to have help, until, to my horror, he started trying to hit on me. I was stuck with him until the ambulance arrived. FML

#13056738
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26109) - you deserved it (2828)

On 09/15/2010 at 12:15am - love - by badtiming (woman) - United States

Today, I realized I need a new job when I had to take anti-anxiety medication before meeting with my boss. Last time we met, I had a panic attack. FML

#18570101
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21857) - you deserved it (2828)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:10pm - work - by bosslady12 - United States

Today, my kitchen nearly burned down because the fire alarm didn't detect the plumes of smoke wafting through the kitchen. This is the same alarm that wails when I use the toaster. FML

#18825531
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28028) - you deserved it (2828)

On 01/16/2012 at 3:18pm - misc - by Lea (woman) - Denmark (Sjelland)



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