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Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML

#21255855
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30456) - you deserved it (3304)

On 09/10/2014 at 6:40pm - health - by skinnyguy23 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

#21312305
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33897) - you deserved it (3304)

On 12/06/2014 at 12:18am - work - by ring-a-ding-ding (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my sister and I got into an argument at a tennis court which ended up with her trying to run me over in the parking lot. I stepped to the side and hit her door, denting it. My parents expect me to pay for the damage caused by my sister trying to kill me. FML

#13357466
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30658) - you deserved it (3303)

On 10/07/2010 at 7:37pm - misc - by toyotasmash - United States

Today, I went snowboarding and fell backwards, hitting my head on a patch of ice. When I got home, I told my brother I thought I might have a concussion. He told me I should be a man and suck it, swiftly smacking my head, causing me to pass out. FML

#15221158
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35935) - you deserved it (3303)

On 03/06/2011 at 7:50pm - health - by milkndstufff (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my second roommate in less then a week got a DUI. Both roommates are demanding that I drive them around for free until they get their licenses back, or else they won't have the funds to pay their rent. FML

#16418621
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33901) - you deserved it (3303)

On 05/30/2011 at 2:11pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mom called me crazy and told me she wanted to put me in a mental hospital. She did this after repeatedly hitting me with a shoe. Why? Because I forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste. FML

#18253944
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33956) - you deserved it (3303)

On 11/15/2011 at 7:51am - misc - by whoopsboutthecap - United States

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44544) - you deserved it (3303)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, while fishing my remote out from behind the couch, I found my fiancé's stash of old toenails. FML

#21257075
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35318) - you deserved it (3303)

On 09/12/2014 at 6:27pm - misc - by jjhach (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my colleagues were excitedly talking about going for drinks after work. I heard one of them ask, Is Sam coming?' and shortly after leave without me. I'm Sam. FML

#21385304
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24717) - you deserved it (3303)

On 04/01/2015 at 7:37am - work - by Sam - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, a customer wanted a military discount for buying two 39 cent Slim Jims. I work at an auto parts store. FML

#20854690
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34865) - you deserved it (3302)

On 08/26/2013 at 1:51am - work - by luvmypony (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom and I made the bad decision to go hiking for some mother-daughter bonding even though we had little experience. My mother tumbled down a mountain named Tumbledown and I couldn't even enjoy the irony because I had to half carry her all the way back to the car. FML

#21375957
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27645) - you deserved it (3302)

On 03/16/2015 at 8:56pm - health - by manderpander21 - United States (New York)

Today, my mom came over to visit and permed my hair. Ten minutes after she started, I told her it was burning. She told me to suck it up because it doesn't hurt that badly. I now have scabs all over my scalp, hairline, and nape. FML

#8443272
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22672) - you deserved it (3301)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:24pm - love - by sexxibxmami - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband decided to be helpful and do all the laundry, including pre-treating all the stains. He felt that Clorox Clean-Up with Bleach would be the most effective. FML

#8374594
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21095) - you deserved it (3301)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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