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Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML

#21279658
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33528) - you deserved it (2962)

On 10/17/2014 at 6:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my mother-in-law gifted us with a new microwave. I told her it was too much and we didn't really need it. Her response, "I just want my grandkids to have food that tastes good for once." I'm a chef. FML

#5448265
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36607) - you deserved it (2959)

On 09/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by badcook (woman) - United States

Today, I was standing in a queue when an old lady turned, looked straight at me, and asked me to hold her bag. Confused, I took a hold of it. She started screaming for help claiming I was stealing her shopping. Turns out, she was talking to her husband behind me. FML

#7739701
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27660) - you deserved it (2959)

On 01/31/2010 at 9:46am - misc - by bthms - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out my daughter has a higher paid job in the same company I work in. I also found out she is dating my boss. FML

#14160788
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30982) - you deserved it (2959)

On 12/11/2010 at 12:10am - work - by Anonymous - Indonesia

Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML

#14774020
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32593) - you deserved it (2959)

On 01/30/2011 at 12:21pm - kids - by Joey - United States (California)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

#20481338
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26388) - you deserved it (2959)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. On new years, my mom called and asked what kind of champagne I want. FML

#771
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22222) - you deserved it (2958)

On 01/01/2009 at 10:38am - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I looked outside with a grimace at the very heavy rainfall through which I had to trudge a long way. I waited ten minutes for it to let up, only to find it was getting heavier. So, I started walking anyway. After getting soaked to the bone, I walked through my door, and it stopped. FML

#6567940
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24064) - you deserved it (2958)

On 12/02/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Furry (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, while walking on the sidewalk, someone hit me with their car. They yelled at me for being in their way. FML

#17426296
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31832) - you deserved it (2958)

On 08/10/2011 at 3:22am - misc - by TheKunitzShow14 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to yet again explain to the guy I live with that just because you can't see dirt, it doesn't mean it's clean. And so letting his dog lick the plates is NOT the same thing as washing up. He won't listen to me, and he uses my plates. FML

#20507079
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28165) - you deserved it (2958)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:08pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

#20750993
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41048) - you deserved it (2958)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by keiran123 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had a 5 hour exam. The exam guard had clearly eaten something funky, because she kept burping loudly. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, she started farting. FML

Today, I got back to my apartment from being away for the past week on Spring break. I found the locks on my apartment changed and all my things on the curb, many of them broken or stolen. I ran to the leasing office to see what had happened. Turns out it was an accounting error on their part. FML

#250263
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88185) - you deserved it (2957)

On 03/09/2009 at 8:12am - misc - by Homeless (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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