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Today, I was refereeing a soccer match and I called a foul. An angry coach kept screaming at me, saying "You're crazy!" I asked him to leave the field. As he left, he lifted his middle finger and screamed, "FUCK YOU!" I ref 5-year-olds. FML

#20937864
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43902) - you deserved it (3005)

On 10/29/2013 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was working as the shift manager at my job at a fast food restaurant. Our company policy states that all employees must be clean shaven before coming to work. I had to inform one of the employees, Kris, that they had to shave before clocking in. Kris is a woman. FML

#766931
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64516) - you deserved it (3004)

On 04/02/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, one of my friends pointed out I'm starting to get a mustache! - "You're finally a man!" To bad it's my 15th birthday, and I'm a girl. FML

#7897193
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27650) - you deserved it (3004)

On 02/05/2010 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it marks the fourth month since my 15-year-old cousin asked me out, then started practically stalking me when I said no. It's also the fourth month of my parents and his constantly telling me to stop overreacting and that it's "just a phase." FML

#20740640
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42755) - you deserved it (3004)

On 06/22/2013 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML

#21097210
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39553) - you deserved it (3004)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:44pm - animals - by In urgent need of a new roommate - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was fined because my son pushed the alarm button in the elevator. Why? There was a spider in there. FML

#7113361
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25820) - you deserved it (3003)

On 01/02/2010 at 10:22pm - kids - by arachnidphobia (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss made me give a presentation to several senior company officials about the serious financial losses our division has made this year. Barely an hour later, my boss had palmed all the blame off onto me and gotten me fired. FML

#20605914
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37897) - you deserved it (3003)

On 04/19/2013 at 8:16pm - work - by unemployed (woman) - El Salvador (San Salvador)

Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML

#20746764
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35382) - you deserved it (3003)

On 06/25/2013 at 4:43pm - misc - by mymomplucksbutthair (woman) - United States

Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when this small boy starts looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kids face look like that"? He said it so loud 3 tables next to us turned and looked. FML

#330235
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47294) - you deserved it (3002)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:46pm - kids - by maximumpower (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML

#4196773
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55861) - you deserved it (3002)

On 08/01/2009 at 12:32am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my relatives won't acknowledge my existence unless I'm posting a picture of my cat. They only talk about the cat. FML

#20946616
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33814) - you deserved it (3002)

On 11/05/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Steiner (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was closing at work when someone came in ten minutes before close (2am) and placed a huge order. I couldn't turn him away because he's my manager from my other job. He was drunk. FML

#12807710
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27043) - you deserved it (3001)

On 08/29/2010 at 4:37pm - work - by xharuki - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I performed in my school's choir concert. The girl next to me started to pass out, and I grabbed her so she wouldn't hit her head. After we were done performing and the curtains closed, my choir teacher dragged me off stage and said I was getting an F for "creating a distraction". FML

#15368497
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37712) - you deserved it (3001)

On 03/18/2011 at 3:08pm - misc - by musicmaniac13 (woman) - France



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