Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to visit my overly-posh mother for the first time in many years. Upon arrival, she kicked me out because my outfit did not follow the same color-scheme as her decor. FML

#20888617
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42823) - you deserved it (2905)

On 09/20/2013 at 1:52am - misc - by wat - United States (California)

Today, my mother asked me why her new airsoft gun wasn't working. I explained to her that it doesn't actually shoot air, it requires pellets too. She looked at me like I was too stupid to be her son. FML

#21078133
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37655) - you deserved it (2905)

On 03/04/2014 at 7:09pm - kids - by Drizztreri - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spit directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated then shook its tail which splattered it into my face. FML

#6202329
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28880) - you deserved it (2905)

On 11/07/2009 at 9:13pm - misc - by shando - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was cleaning up litter from the street, when a guy asked who I work for. I said nobody and that I was just doing some community service. Before I could clarify that it was voluntary community service, he called me a "piece of shit delinquent", spat on me, and walked off. FML

#20898099
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39794) - you deserved it (2904)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:01pm - misc - by sigh (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my 50-year-old mother borrowed my denim miniskirt to go to the bar. In return, she offered to let me borrow her red "f*** me" pumps whenever I needed them. FML

#4061190
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38176) - you deserved it (2903)

On 07/26/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by mvp (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

#7564644
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27980) - you deserved it (2903)

On 01/25/2010 at 5:18am - kids - by shitface (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at school, everybody wanted to be my partner for a project. This surprised me because nobody ever wants to be with me. Turns out when I was absent, my teacher promised that whoever was my partner would get extra points on the project. FML

#12990617
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34140) - you deserved it (2903)

On 09/10/2010 at 2:09pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that my apartment building has two new tenants: my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé, the guy she cheated on me with. FML

#16076129
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38166) - you deserved it (2903)

On 05/07/2011 at 7:54am - love - by bigcityfail (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after years of torment and relentless harassment, I finally built up the courage to stand up to a bully. I got a detention for swearing at him. FML

#18310525
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34943) - you deserved it (2903)

On 11/21/2011 at 7:35pm - misc - by damnedbydurberg (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my mom I was going to a New Year's party. She told me to be back by midnight. FML

#18671764
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34546) - you deserved it (2903)

On 01/01/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by tooearly (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, while I was waiting to pull out of a parking space, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to put the car into reverse instead of drive while I was waiting for traffic to clear. I don't think the people who own the car behind me were laughing. Nor is my now ex-boyfriend. FML

#19692417
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24394) - you deserved it (2903)

On 05/28/2012 at 5:38am - misc - by Broke (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went on my honeymoon to Hawaii. My family decided to surprise my new husband and I by joining us on our vacation. FML

#3345356
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78480) - you deserved it (2902)

On 06/29/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by marriedwithfamily (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't see me so I slipped out. I looked outside, trying to take my mind of the horrors I had just witnessed, only to realize my dad's car wasn't in the driveway. FML

#5065139
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70241) - you deserved it (2902)

On 09/05/2009 at 6:11pm - kids - by WTF (man) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: