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Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML

#21281374
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32063) - you deserved it (3023)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:20pm - kids - by team hit bella with a car (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized why I was hired to be a nanny. Apparently the husband had eyes for the last nanny. According to the wife I am not attractive enough to be a threat. FML

#3924296
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45498) - you deserved it (3022)

On 07/21/2009 at 4:49am - misc - by nottananny (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was training a new person. The job included driving around the city all day, during which she decided to hang her head out the window and bark like a dog. I spent an 8 hour shift with her. FML

#12389070
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27707) - you deserved it (3022)

On 08/08/2010 at 10:52am - work - by XxDanno316xX - United States

Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

#20860571
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36936) - you deserved it (3022)

On 08/30/2013 at 5:05pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML

#79769
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57968) - you deserved it (3021)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by killmenow (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a customer came in who only spoke Spanish. I speak Spanish rather well so I helped the customer. She ended up buying $2300 worth of stuff. I got written up because not speaking English apparently "has the potential be offensive to other customers if they are not able to understand you". FML

#5033562
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53158) - you deserved it (3021)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:31am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at school, I got stuck in the elevator and was about to panic before I remembered I had my phone. I called my mother and she called the school to tell them that I was stuck. They got me out in a few minutes and then confiscated my phone and gave me two detentions for using it in school. FML

#6252337
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48385) - you deserved it (3021)

On 11/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by noexceptions (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML

#12850855
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28599) - you deserved it (3021)

On 09/01/2010 at 4:27am - misc - by Michelle (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my uncle had a flashback to Vietnam. I'm now missing a tooth and have a cracked rib. FML

#14706011
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36233) - you deserved it (3021)

On 01/25/2011 at 2:28am - misc - by Randall (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my new Commanding Officer is my ex-wife's new boyfriend. We're going on a two year tour at sea in two weeks. The reason we got a divorce is that she couldn't handle being tied down with someone in the Navy. FML

#16882996
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46534) - you deserved it (3021)

On 06/27/2011 at 3:20pm - love - by Drunken Sailor - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months broke up with me because he is moving. He's only moving 20 minutes away. FML

#19381159
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26182) - you deserved it (3021)

On 03/31/2012 at 8:22am - love - by swim5 - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend thought it was a good show of etiquette to answer a text message from his ex, while he was still inside me. FML

#19573646
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29199) - you deserved it (3021)

On 05/04/2012 at 4:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, my mom decided to follow me during my driving test. She rear ended me. FML

#21092226
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42002) - you deserved it (3021)

On 03/20/2014 at 11:04pm - misc - by nehadrihan - United States (California)



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