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Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML

#107589
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68533) - you deserved it (2898)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:21pm - love - by scotto (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, everyone in my department got a raise except for me. Last week, I had been the one who asked for a raise for me and my fellow department members. FML

#4698361
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33910) - you deserved it (2898)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:52am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend yet again unsuccessfully tried to hold in uncontrollable giggling every time I moaned or sighed during sex. He's 24. I'm terrified of his reaction should I ever reach an orgasm with him. FML

#19557308
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26009) - you deserved it (2898)

On 05/01/2012 at 7:02am - intimacy - by epicsquishii (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked a good friend what she thought would make me more attractive to women. Her advice was, "Don't be yourself." FML

#19073869
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18728) - you deserved it (2898)

On 02/14/2012 at 1:05pm - misc - by random - United States

Today, I bought a car. After just ten minutes, my hub caps had been stolen. FML

#16458606
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26924) - you deserved it (2897)

On 06/01/2011 at 9:25pm - money - by GTR - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that due to the fact that I got divorced, the insurance for my car is going up. A year after she took everything, she is still costing me money. FML

#18922486
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23390) - you deserved it (2897)

On 01/27/2012 at 1:54am - money - by dust - Japan

Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML

#21216504
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36067) - you deserved it (2897)

On 07/21/2014 at 5:15pm - work - by notpayedenoughforthisshit (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML

#18927018
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36583) - you deserved it (2896)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's my birthday. When I asked my mom if we were gonna do anything special for my birthday. She said, "don't lie to me. It's not your birthday." FML

#21238688
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43570) - you deserved it (2896)

On 08/16/2014 at 1:09am - misc - by bad birthdays - United States (California)

Today, we brought our Christmas tree inside to decorate. We decorated it, then went out to dinner as a family. Returning 2 hours later, we came back to find our living room to be occupied. Not with people. The tree had been filled with baby spiders, and they were all over the living room. FML

#6609748
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32546) - you deserved it (2895)

On 12/05/2009 at 12:15am - animals - by Worsttreeever (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was making out with this guy I had been seeing, and things start to get pretty steamy. As he paused for a second, I thought he was going to get up and find a condom, but instead he turns to me and says, "I think I'm going to go to the library." I wasn't invited. FML

#7004300
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16385) - you deserved it (2895)

On 12/29/2009 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up to a strange sound that sounded like a lot of water being poured into a sink. It was actually my father in law using the bathtub as a toilet. He's staying with us, and is showing no signs of leaving any time soon. He thinks this is acceptable behavior. FML

#15840429
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26896) - you deserved it (2895)

On 04/18/2011 at 10:33pm - misc - by MyS3lf - United States

Today, a woman approached me in the street and slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, and I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town for the first time since my childhood to attend a wedding. FML

#20661106
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46414) - you deserved it (2895)

On 05/13/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by culodegrillo (woman) - Spain



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