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Today, I woke up late to an urgent voicemail from my dad telling me he left me a present in my car. Excited, I went to investigate. I then saw that his "surprise" was fresh fish he had caught. I hate fish, and now my car stinks. FML

#12999692
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21672) - you deserved it (3111)

On 09/11/2010 at 2:19am - misc - by ~JESSICA~ - United States

Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant, where the chefs cook the food right in front of you. Our chef tossed an egg in the air, but sadly didn't catch it. Don't worry though, my hair got it instead. FML

#17136219
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28891) - you deserved it (3111)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:24pm - misc - by KatrinaKitten - United States (New York)

Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML

#20002229
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23033) - you deserved it (3111)

On 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm - misc - by fuckingbeliebers (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my girlfriend said that while she was playing volleyball, her whole life flashed before her eyes. According to her grandmother, my girlfriend is now psychic. She completely believes it. FML

#20574330
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29917) - you deserved it (3111)

On 04/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by CrazyBitch - United States (California)

Today, I found out why my dad always treated me badly as a kid compared to my siblings. It's because I was conceived while my mom was cheating on him. On top of that, he made it clear that he still doesn't consider me a "real" part of the family. FML

#21091901
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52679) - you deserved it (3111)

On 03/20/2014 at 4:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

#12209813
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40387) - you deserved it (3110)

On 07/30/2010 at 4:00pm - work - by MLZ (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked my husband if he knew what day it was. His answer was, "garbage day?" It's our six-year anniversary. FML

#19987123
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22675) - you deserved it (3110)

On 07/27/2012 at 10:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was walking home, a car drove through a puddle and splashed me like in a cheesy movie. As if that wasn't annoying enough, the driver had to pull over because she was laughing too hard. FML

#20907968
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44074) - you deserved it (3110)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by CelibateHero (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend bought me a pair of jeans. I couldn't fit into them, and he reacted to this by saying I've gotten too fat for him, and he can't be with me anymore. I took them off and saw they were a size 4. I've been a size 8 for the past 2 years, and he knows this. FML

#21008500
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41875) - you deserved it (3110)

On 12/28/2013 at 5:34pm - health - by worstwaytodumpagirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Harrow)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a long-overdue message telling her I feel like she doesn't really care about me any more, that it seems like she only ever calls me when she needs money, and that I'm even starting to suspect she may be cheating on me. 14 hours later, she replied: "TL;DR". FML

#21320982
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27400) - you deserved it (3110)

On 12/20/2014 at 3:45pm - love - by KalaKa (man) - United States

Today, I decided to tell my husband our marriage was over after I found out that he'd not only been stealing from me, but he'd also been downloading child porn. He then asked if we could break up but live in the same house so I could help pay his bills. FML

#7353297
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42084) - you deserved it (3109)

On 01/15/2010 at 2:51am - love - by cuppincake (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me with a voice card. It said "Marry me Amber?" I'm not Amber. That's his ex. FML

Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML

#18630466
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31400) - you deserved it (3109)

On 12/28/2011 at 12:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States



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