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Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML

#20984974
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36203) - you deserved it (3025)

On 12/08/2013 at 1:00pm - misc - by FML (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, my dog wanted to go upstairs, but she has stitches and was having trouble. So I carried her to the top, at which point she peed all over my carpet. FML

#19211891
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19727) - you deserved it (3024)

On 03/04/2012 at 12:51am - animals - by raven_teen_titan - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

#20167650
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21633) - you deserved it (3024)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)

Today, while jogging, a guy tackled me and got my iPhone. Being a good runner, I caught up with him and grabbed him. Next thing I knew, I was on the ground with a policeman yelling in my ear. The guy got away. FML

#20764590
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52046) - you deserved it (3024)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was doing a science presentation about glucose. There was around 20 judges at the event who could've judged me, but instead I got judged by the only person in the whole entire world who doesn't know what glucose is and doesn't think it exists. FML

#21066140
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42056) - you deserved it (3024)

On 02/20/2014 at 12:27am - work - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I let my mother use my computer for school work. Later that day my mom asks me what's wrong with the computer. I look at it, only seeing a "Welcome to Windows XP" screen. She said that she saw a blue screen and pressed L and C when it asked her to. My mom managed to clear my hard drive. FML

#5843241
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29015) - you deserved it (3023)

On 10/15/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by artiemilano (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mother thinks I'm a loser and a scumbag. We haven't even met yet. FML

#16807488
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28053) - you deserved it (3023)

On 06/22/2011 at 11:00pm - love - by arekusa - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML

#17394745
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21766) - you deserved it (3023)

On 08/07/2011 at 4:08am - misc - by fugachumi - United States (Texas)

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. My doctor failed to fix it, but did succeed in practically dislocating the other one. FML

#21099597
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37515) - you deserved it (3023)

On 03/29/2014 at 7:06pm - health - by unlucky - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized why I was hired to be a nanny. Apparently the husband had eyes for the last nanny. According to the wife I am not attractive enough to be a threat. FML

#3924296
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45496) - you deserved it (3022)

On 07/21/2009 at 4:49am - misc - by nottananny (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was training a new person. The job included driving around the city all day, during which she decided to hang her head out the window and bark like a dog. I spent an 8 hour shift with her. FML

#12389070
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27698) - you deserved it (3022)

On 08/08/2010 at 10:52am - work - by XxDanno316xX - United States

Today, one of my neighbors dressed up in the exact same costume as me. Every house I go to refuses to give me candy because my neighbor has already been there. FML

#18123545
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29034) - you deserved it (3022)

On 10/31/2011 at 8:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

#20860571
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36933) - you deserved it (3023)

On 08/30/2013 at 5:05pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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