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Today, my girlfriend broke up me with for being the "perfect boyfriend". Apparently I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had, and she didn't know how to take it. So she dumped me. FML

#6414657
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46072) - you deserved it (3624)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:59pm - love - by Micheal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth out. My mom didn't get my prescription for painkillers because she thought I'd get addicted. FML

#12188597
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49620) - you deserved it (3624)

On 07/29/2010 at 3:10pm - health - by Richmond24 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

#13287262
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33978) - you deserved it (3624)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML

#20520875
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30869) - you deserved it (3624)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by why the fuck would you do that - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband recited to me the name and model number of every single weapon in the game Doom, along with what they did and roughly where to find them. Last month, he forgot my birthday. We've been married for 6 years; he hasn't played Doom in at least 10. FML

#21353586
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34515) - you deserved it (3624)

On 02/10/2015 at 7:00pm - love - by doomed (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML

#21378092
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29920) - you deserved it (3624)

On 03/19/2015 at 11:22pm - love - by TooShortToCleanThat - United States

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to scare me by tilting the portable street toilets while I was taking a dump in one of them. One of my friends accidentally rocked it too hard and it fell on the floor. They wouldn't even let me sit in the car after because I had shit all over me. FML

#2820229
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62024) - you deserved it (3623)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by dontevenassk (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ran into my ex's family, and found out they are going to Europe. Funnily enough, so am I. Even funnier is the fact that we are going on the same date, at the same time, on the same flights, and the tour starts on the same day in the same place. FML

#7810675
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39013) - you deserved it (3623)

On 02/02/2010 at 9:08am - misc - by jacques (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found a video of my girlfriend having sex with her male best friend on her computer. When I confronted her about it she said it was from before we met. In the video, she was wearing the engagement ring I bought her. FML

#13221362
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60522) - you deserved it (3623)

On 09/27/2010 at 11:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was delivering pizza in the rain. A woman answered the door, saw me soaking wet and said, "Wow this rain is terrible, it must be horrible to be out delivering in it." She then tipped me 21 cents. FML

#14391490
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29676) - you deserved it (3623)

On 12/30/2010 at 2:48am - work - by ronniewciv -

Today, some jackass in an Iron Man mask nailed me in the head with a quarter while I was helping other customers. Minimum wage isn't worth this crap. FML

#20696570
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42909) - you deserved it (3623)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:05am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boss made me cover for him by working two extra hours, because he had to rush home early to deal with an "emergency". The emergency was taking a shit, because he claims to have a phobia of doing them anywhere but at home. FML

#20967954
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39452) - you deserved it (3623)

On 11/23/2013 at 1:33pm - work - by AFSDALK:AFSDQWE (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was complimented on my freckles. I don't actually have freckles, just a load of blackheads that won't go away. FML

#21322767
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30275) - you deserved it (3623)

On 12/23/2014 at 3:41pm - health - by eamiller (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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