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Today, my mom and I went to Best Buy for some Christmas shopping. She picked up some presents for me and told me not to look at what she was buying. When we got to the register, she didn't have enough money, and I ended up having to buy my own presents. FML

#20413996
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35028) - you deserved it (2945)

On 12/22/2012 at 3:25pm - money - by dude, where's my balls? :( (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, after having spent years staying in school, working hard to achieve good grades, and avoiding all the bad kids, my mom accused me of having no direction in life and complained about how I haven't given her a grandchild yet. I'm 19. FML

#20710020
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52368) - you deserved it (2945)

On 06/06/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by luciazee (woman) - Peru (Lima)

Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML

#3500742
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43079) - you deserved it (2944)

On 07/05/2009 at 8:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML

#5463165
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21562) - you deserved it (2944)

On 09/25/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by lone_ranger (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38727) - you deserved it (2944)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I woke up to shit on my floor and my cat hiding under my comforter. I have to get rid of my new fish because my cat is afraid of it. FML

#13581194
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22260) - you deserved it (2944)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm - animals - by danjoylovefun - United States (Colorado)

Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML

#18145406
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39684) - you deserved it (2944)

On 11/03/2011 at 5:18am - misc - by Grounded (woman) - United States

Today, our electric horse fence broke. I turned it off so I could fix it. As I was grabbing the fence, my brother thought it would be hilarious to turn the fence back on. FML

#17766794
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27509) - you deserved it (2944)

On 09/17/2011 at 7:42pm - animals - by ouch (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

#19971025
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27873) - you deserved it (2944)

On 07/21/2012 at 10:30pm - health - by Luna - United States (New York)

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, I told a teenager to, "Walk please." He then threw his soda at me as he ran away. We aren't allowed off stand unless it's an emergency, so I baked in that soda for 30 minutes. FML

#19692881
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21979) - you deserved it (2944)

On 05/28/2012 at 10:05am - work - by emonsteadman - United States (Texas)

Today, after months of looking forward to my new fencing lessons and speculating endlessly about the people who might be in my class, I went to my first lesson. I was the only one who showed up. FML

#17739609
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20776) - you deserved it (2943)

On 09/13/2011 at 9:30pm - misc - by ManinBlack (man) - Canada

Today, my father was telling me that one of the benefits about his job was that the family could get discounts, then asked if I'd like some. My dad's a plastic surgeon. FML

#17826204
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24749) - you deserved it (2943)

On 09/25/2011 at 12:17am - work - by ouch. (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML

#18032391
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34718) - you deserved it (2943)

On 10/20/2011 at 5:18pm - love - by cmd102 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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