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Today, I had to get stitches on my foot and was then forced to wear a plastic bag on my foot while showering. The plastic bag made me slip in the shower and had to go back and get stitches in my forehead. FML

by Shone / 04/15/2012 at 7:39pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 1:10pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I hired an exterminator to get the roaches out of the house I am renting. I came back from work and went to my bathroom, noticing that he used the plunger to unclog the toilet after he took a dump. After $150, there was shit all over my floor and plunger, and roaches still in my kitchen. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2009 at 5:18am / Greece (Attiki) / Health

Today, my sister got caught cheating on her boyfriend. She was cheating on him with my boyfriend. FML

by bbbblt / 08/15/2010 at 7:39am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I was emptying the cutlery section of the dishwasher when I reached down and accidentally got the tip of a steak knife wedged half-way under my fingernail. My mum yelled at me for getting blood on the clean dishes. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2010 at 5:37am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend peeing in the cat's litter box. I'm the one who has to clean it out. FML

by meeeeeee / 11/26/2011 at 10:38am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband has decided to grow a mullet. FML

by flyingpuppy / 06/17/2012 at 2:33am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my store manager told me I was fired. I'm not sure what's more insulting - that he'd fire me, or that he forgot I haven't worked there in four months. FML

by CapnCrunchKat / 05/09/2014 at 2:06am / United States (Delaware) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was looking at old pictures with my mom and saw one of myself crying in kindergarten. I asked why I was crying. She said that was the day a boy kissed me on the cheek, and I thought I'd gotten pregnant. She then decided to give me the sex talk. FML

by shitty shit / 05/26/2015 at 11:40am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I had to put my 17 year old cat down. I cried the whole way up to the vet's office and back. After finally coming to terms with the situation, and trying to forget, my dad's friend walks up to me and says, "So, I heard you killed your cat?" FML

by petlover / 11/22/2009 at 11:30pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML

by gymgirl / 12/17/2013 at 6:48pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got woken up by Hallelujah blasting outside my apartment windows for 30 minutes straight. FML

by notyoueallie / 08/20/2010 at 12:06am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous