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Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

Today, I showed up at my brother's house for a visit. Little did I know, there was a family gathering. My bestfriend was invited and I wasn't. She's "more fun and less awkward" than I am. FML

#20864835
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36915) - you deserved it (3039)

On 09/02/2013 at 5:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out about my co-workers' new game. Whoever talks to me first loses. FML

Today, my boss asked me "can I give you some constructive criticism?". I said yes. He tells me "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML

#576
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24780) - you deserved it (3038)

On 12/22/2008 at 11:18pm - work - by crapules - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was having sex with a girl. While we were fooling around, she started squeezing my cheeks and told me I remind her of her son. FML

#8434762
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20221) - you deserved it (3039)

On 02/19/2010 at 2:41am - intimacy - by Brett meek - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my best friend thought the best time to tell me she was sleeping with my boyfriend was while we were acting in a play. FML

#16323253
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39426) - you deserved it (3038)

On 05/24/2011 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML

#18936421
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33536) - you deserved it (3038)

On 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm - love - by Shelly P. (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I asked my manager if wearing makeup was a requirement for the job. She told me, "Not if you're naturally pretty... So for you, yes". FML

#20166313
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25207) - you deserved it (3038)

On 11/17/2012 at 4:15am - work - by satega - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boss threatened to fire me because of a tattoo I have. It's a small teddy bear on my leg with my parents' names on it. My workplace has no problems with tattoos, but my boss said it was "unoriginal and lame." It's a memorial tattoo; my parents died last year. FML

#20560852
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48801) - you deserved it (3038)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:54am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I helped my brother propose to his girlfriend of 5 years in the spot where they had first met. As he delivered his heartfelt speech, a sizable crowd appeared. When he got down on one knee, she punched him in the gut, yelled, "I never loved you", and ran away. Now he won't talk to me. FML

#20887080
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48169) - you deserved it (3039)

On 09/18/2013 at 9:45pm - love - by ElizaZee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my ex girlfriend that I still love sent me a text, quote "I still love you, but i'm not IN love with you" um. what? FML

#779
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23084) - you deserved it (3037)

On 01/07/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by wtf - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a call from a girl I fell madly in love with 8 years ago. She disappeared from my life with no trace. Turns out she just finalized her divorce, has 2 wild kids, packed on 75 lbs, has $25,000 in debt and is taking meds to keep from going crazy. Now she wants me back. FML

#6983877
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33780) - you deserved it (3037)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:03am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was playing my bass clarinet around the house. I asked my dad if he would be at my concert on December 16th. His response was, "No, I'm working that day." My dad is a plumber, and gets called to work completely at random; he has no schedule. FML

#13693546
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22888) - you deserved it (3037)

On 11/02/2010 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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