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Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "And she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML

#2674765
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47220) - you deserved it (2959)

On 06/06/2009 at 10:25pm - kids - by Shelly (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I auditioned for a part in a play. I've been practicing for months, and was very excited. After I finished singing, the director whispered something to the other judges, and they all laughed. Hard. So much for the lead role. FML

#13881545
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20536) - you deserved it (2959)

On 11/17/2010 at 9:31pm - misc - by embarrassed -

Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML

#14774020
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32573) - you deserved it (2958)

On 01/30/2011 at 12:21pm - kids - by Joey - United States (California)

Today, while walking on the sidewalk, someone hit me with their car. They yelled at me for being in their way. FML

#17426296
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31819) - you deserved it (2958)

On 08/10/2011 at 3:22am - misc - by TheKunitzShow14 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML

#20002229
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21720) - you deserved it (2958)

On 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm - misc - by fuckingbeliebers (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. On new years, my mom called and asked what kind of champagne I want. FML

#771
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22187) - you deserved it (2957)

On 01/01/2009 at 10:38am - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I looked outside with a grimace at the very heavy rainfall through which I had to trudge a long way. I waited ten minutes for it to let up, only to find it was getting heavier. So, I started walking anyway. After getting soaked to the bone, I walked through my door, and it stopped. FML

#6567940
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24046) - you deserved it (2957)

On 12/02/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Furry (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

#16103696
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32478) - you deserved it (2957)

On 05/09/2011 at 11:02am - misc - by scarlet (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML

#19642292
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27776) - you deserved it (2957)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my guidance counselor told me that I'll have to join my school's special education needs sector. This is because I can't attend school properly due to chronic issues with severe pain. So much for my 3.9 GPA and being in the top 5% of my class. FML

#20632758
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45809) - you deserved it (2957)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

#20750993
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41032) - you deserved it (2957)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by keiran123 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had a 5 hour exam. The exam guard had clearly eaten something funky, because she kept burping loudly. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, she started farting. FML

Today, my mother-in-law gifted us with a new microwave. I told her it was too much and we didn't really need it. Her response, "I just want my grandkids to have food that tastes good for once." I'm a chef. FML

#5448265
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36570) - you deserved it (2956)

On 09/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by badcook (woman) - United States



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