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Today, I was delivering pizzas for my summer job. I got a big order to deliver for a fellow graduate's party. While I was being paid for the order my friend shows up and says "Don't pay him, his parents are rich, he can handle it." Then they shut the door and took off. The bill was $75. FML

#3100953
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54247) - you deserved it (3633)

On 06/21/2009 at 8:37pm - work - by blahpizzablah (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

#4407922
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46502) - you deserved it (3633)

On 08/09/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by foojew93 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my book bag was so heavy that it set off my car's passenger detection system in the front seat. I had to buckle in my textbooks. FML

#20068805
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26586) - you deserved it (3633)

On 09/12/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. I also found out from her husband that she has her nipples and nether regions pierced. FML

#3497280
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41215) - you deserved it (3632)

On 07/05/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by Disgusted (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I celebrated my 18th birthday. Alone. My only birthday wish came from the police officer who gave me a ticket. FML

#6190643
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32787) - you deserved it (3632)

On 11/07/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by bdayloser (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML

#18844690
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34015) - you deserved it (3632)

On 01/18/2012 at 2:57pm - health - by Shameful (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, after 3 long hours of mowing the lawn with a rusty lawn mower, my dad finally decided to tell me that he didn't get any money out to pay me with. The reason? He didn't think girls could mow a lawn and was expecting me to give up. FML

Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how excited I was to drive 12 hours to see him and his new house. His girlfriend answered. FML

#11497127
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41975) - you deserved it (3631)

On 06/27/2010 at 2:03pm - misc - by ac13 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while standing in line at the grocery store, the elderly lady in front of me had forgotten to pay for her milk. In the spirit of the season, I paid for it and wished her happy holidays. She snatched the milk and gave me an ugly look. Then huffed at me before stomping off. FML

#14048564
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33513) - you deserved it (3631)

On 12/01/2010 at 3:18pm - misc - by sumerflame07 (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML

#19979186
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36570) - you deserved it (3631)

On 07/23/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

#20668913
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51315) - you deserved it (3631)

On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my crazy ex-girlfriend legally changed her last name to mine. I'm getting married in a week. FML

#20986172
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54864) - you deserved it (3631)

On 12/09/2013 at 10:10am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that I am "un-promotable" to the job that I have been promised for the last two years because, I "don't suffer idiots well." Idiots. FML



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