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Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML

#20908703
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46767) - you deserved it (2947)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my five-year-old stepson announced that he is finally no longer scared of flushing toilets. Immediately after, I discovered that he's now decided that he's scared of the bathroom sink. FML

#20947649
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35309) - you deserved it (2947)

On 11/06/2013 at 11:33am - kids - by TheMommas (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML

#4196773
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55120) - you deserved it (2946)

On 08/01/2009 at 12:32am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my husband finally admitted to his mother he'd got married. No wonder she wasn't involved with the wedding. FML

#14352354
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26572) - you deserved it (2946)

On 12/27/2010 at 1:23am - love - by motherlessbride (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it took me 5 hours to paint my deck, only to have it ruined by the neighbors cat running all over the undry paint. FML

#16956212
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25650) - you deserved it (2946)

On 07/03/2011 at 12:47am - animals - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found cigarette butts at the bottom of the toaster. My mother has been dropping them in there for I don't know how long. FML

#16613518
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30950) - you deserved it (2946)

On 06/11/2011 at 4:36pm - misc - by Macy (woman) - Italy (Lazio)

Today, at my grandparent's funeral, we were waiting for the pastor. He was fashionably late because he couldn't find his sunglasses and had gone to buy new ones. FML

#21194487
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39344) - you deserved it (2946)

On 06/30/2014 at 11:59pm - misc - by too cool (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I offered an elderly man my seat on the train. He thanked me by winking and offering me a seat on his lap. FML

#19387576
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21434) - you deserved it (2945)

On 04/01/2012 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my mom and I went to Best Buy for some Christmas shopping. She picked up some presents for me and told me not to look at what she was buying. When we got to the register, she didn't have enough money, and I ended up having to buy my own presents. FML

#20413996
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35023) - you deserved it (2945)

On 12/22/2012 at 3:25pm - money - by dude, where's my balls? :( (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML

#3500742
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43071) - you deserved it (2945)

On 07/05/2009 at 8:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML

#5463165
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21561) - you deserved it (2944)

On 09/25/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by lone_ranger (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38723) - you deserved it (2944)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I woke up to shit on my floor and my cat hiding under my comforter. I have to get rid of my new fish because my cat is afraid of it. FML

#13581194
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22261) - you deserved it (2945)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm - animals - by danjoylovefun - United States (Colorado)



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  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

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