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Today, I overheard my mother Skyping with her new "boyfriend" about the $1,000 she just sent him. She barely knew what internet dating was three weeks ago. FML

#20748170
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45549) - you deserved it (3440)

On 06/26/2013 at 10:08am - money - by weneedthatmoneytoliveon (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to wake my mom up. While she was naked. On the toilet. FML

Today, I attended my first day of school 4 days after reconstructive surgery. But no worries: I'm sure my alien-like appearance and 2 hours of Darth Vader style breathing in an otherwise silent test room will make me lots of friends. FML

Today, a kid in class kept chatting to his friend, and was made to swap seats. Every time the guy he swapped with moved, the stench from his armpits wafted over. It smelled like nacho cheese crossed with ball sweat. It got so bad that I eventually had to go dry heave in the toilets. FML

#21050316
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39154) - you deserved it (3440)

On 02/04/2014 at 1:55pm - health - by even axe would smell better (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my non-English-speaking grandma bought me a new t-shirt. It would've been sweet if it didn't have the word "bondage" written on the back in pretty, bold letters. I had no choice but to wear it while we went shopping. FML

#21094283
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35765) - you deserved it (3440)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - Egypt

Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML

#21234785
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37804) - you deserved it (3440)

On 08/11/2014 at 11:02am - misc - by welptimetoburntheplacedown (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up and attacked my face. FML

#21379871
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (793) - you deserved it (3440)

On 03/23/2015 at 12:42am - animals - by birdsterrifyme - United States (Missouri)

Today, I've been unemployed for a year. For the last six months I had been trying for a good paying job at a great company, who kept saying they would hire me when the economy improves. Three weeks ago I gave up and moved 2 hours away. Guess who just called to finally offer me a job. FML

Today, I found a pile of animal skeletons scattered in my backyard. It appears that last night, mother nature decided to rain so hard, that the graves of my childhood pets floated back up to the top, and covered half of my field. I now have to pick all of it up before my dog sees them. FML

#12396014
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33405) - you deserved it (3439)

On 08/08/2010 at 7:27pm - animals - by L.Lime05 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had the rehearsal for two of my friends' wedding. My ex-husband is also in the wedding, and I just found out we have to walk down the aisle together 'for height reasons'. FML

#11994918
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34313) - you deserved it (3439)

On 07/20/2010 at 12:57am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to pull guard duty. I had to guard the latrine because somebody likes to stuff whole toilet paper rolls in the toilet to clog it. Only six more months in Iraq. FML

#14043975
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33958) - you deserved it (3439)

On 12/01/2010 at 1:38am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq

Today, my roommate came back drunk from rushing fraternities. Normally I wouldn't have minded, had he not immediately pissed and thrown up everywhere after entering the room. If only I had moved my guitar and the suitcase full of clothes I had left out after returning from break. FML

Today, I was walking home from a horrible day at work, when some idiot emptied a trashcan on my head from his apartment balcony. He cried "Oh shit!" and apologized because I wasn't his intended target. FML

#21025526
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47058) - you deserved it (3439)

On 01/12/2014 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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