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Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML

#7541135
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40737) - you deserved it (3191)

On 01/24/2010 at 9:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to check if my neighbours were home to return their dog, having looked after her for a few days. I looked in the window and the place was empty. They'd moved house and stuck us with their dog. FML

#14160868
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28915) - you deserved it (3191)

On 12/11/2010 at 12:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother told my little sister and me that she has breast cancer to make us feel sorry so that we would clean our rooms. She is perfectly fine. My little sister still thinks that "mommy is going to die". FML

#16787044
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39918) - you deserved it (3191)

On 06/21/2011 at 7:51pm - health - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we had our whole staff photo. We all had to stand up in rows in height order, as I'm tall I had to stand in the middle, at the back. I'm horribly claustrophobic and ended up fainting in front of 100 colleagues, taking down 4 people around me. FML

#19144680
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23180) - you deserved it (3191)

On 02/23/2012 at 7:11am - work - by photofaint - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after I spent two hours trying to teach my girlfriend to play sudoku, she broke up with me, tearfully claiming that I'd made up a fake, imaginary game to make her feel stupid. FML

#20167793
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31269) - you deserved it (3191)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

#21251632
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42782) - you deserved it (3191)

On 09/04/2014 at 2:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got called to the guidance office, only to be told my boyfriend broke up with me. He wasn't sure how to break the news to me, so he made my guidance counselor do it for him. FML

#21277708
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42801) - you deserved it (3191)

On 10/14/2014 at 2:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home to find a note on my door. I thought it was from my elderly disabled neighbors thanking me for cleaning off their snow covered car, since about 6 inches came down. It was from them, only it said I owed them for damages to their car. Damages that were already there. FML

#14738891
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28678) - you deserved it (3190)

On 01/28/2011 at 12:24am - misc - by kittyd (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I found out that even though my sister and I are identical twins, I'm known as "The ugly one". FML

#14886724
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35857) - you deserved it (3190)

On 02/07/2011 at 8:21pm - misc - by 5minsolder (woman) - United States

Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML

#17652059
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30295) - you deserved it (3190)

On 09/03/2011 at 10:36am - kids - by abby181 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boss told me that there is no point in making me cut onions anymore because every time I do, I look like I've "been beaten", and can't be seen by the customers for at least half an hour. FML

#21091068
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31236) - you deserved it (3190)

On 03/19/2014 at 6:24pm - work - by Embarassed (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new bed sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML

#21294602
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45947) - you deserved it (3190)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:09am - intimacy - by betterthanhodor - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML

#645
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19395) - you deserved it (3189)

On 12/31/2008 at 9:53pm - misc - by blck - United States (Oklahoma)



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