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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got a picture message from my aunt that said, "9 out of 10 kids get their awesomeness from their aunt." Normally, I would have agreed, except she forgot my birthday yesterday. FML

#20677224
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35057) - you deserved it (2868)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. As I was leaving his house I hear him shout "Hey! Wait! Sweetie, come back here!". He was talking to his cat who ran out the door behind me. FML

#4733759
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32683) - you deserved it (2867)

On 08/22/2009 at 11:39am - love - by roostergirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized how invisible/forgettable I am. At work, I went to ask my supervisor what I was working on today. My supervisor admitted that he forgot I was working today. My supervisor is my brother. We drove to work together this morning. FML

#4212428
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43545) - you deserved it (2867)

On 08/01/2009 at 7:10pm - work - by Forgotton (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my car got acquainted with about 3 dozen eggs. FML

#17924502
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21348) - you deserved it (2867)

On 10/06/2011 at 11:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I received a text at 6am from my boss stating that my services are no longer required. He couldn't even wait until I was awake to fire me. FML

Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML

#17072330
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31234) - you deserved it (2867)

On 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm - animals - by CatOwner (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up with this terrible toothache and called my mother for a lift to the dentist. This super-dentist-chick enters in and says: "Nice to meet you, your mother just told me you're afraid of dentists?" I'm 29. FML

#2012
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17709) - you deserved it (2866)

On 01/21/2009 at 7:36am - love - by Noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went to see a movie. While buying tickets, the girl behind the counter asked to show my ID card to proof I'm at least 16 years old. Not wanting to make a drama, I showed it. She took a look at it and declared it as fake. That ID is real and I'm 24. FML

#4107036
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52215) - you deserved it (2866)

On 07/28/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Limburg)

Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML

#16474774
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35694) - you deserved it (2866)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:44pm - work - by corn - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I had to bury my horse again because coyotes keep digging it up. FML

#19230527
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38788) - you deserved it (2866)

On 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw in my browser history a profile from one of those "Facebook of sex" websites. Turns out that my boyfriend has been posting naked pictures of himself on there using my laptop and flirting with teenage girls. His excuse? "I have friends on there." FML

#20466217
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27754) - you deserved it (2866)

On 01/18/2013 at 12:21pm - love - by TheOtherWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (North Somerset)

Today, I was fired. For "lack of attention to details", specifically spelling errors. My now ex-boss misspelled the name of his own company on my severance agreement. FML

#18403408
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24353) - you deserved it (2865)

On 12/01/2011 at 1:55pm - work - by JadeC - United States (New York)

Today, my son learned that when you slide a mug across the kitchen table, it doesn't stop where you expect it to like in the old cartoons. I then learned what it feels like to have a full mug of hot chocolate spilled onto my crotch. FML

#18972583
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22155) - you deserved it (2865)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:11pm - kids - by Bruce (man) - United States (Rhode Island)



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Tuesday 22 July 2014

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