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Today, I found out that if you lose contact with people in your previous school, they decide to spread rumors about you and make everyone believe that you're dead. FML

#6365565
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27503) - you deserved it (3117)

On 11/19/2009 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML

#8587618
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25006) - you deserved it (3117)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by disgusted - United States (Georgia)

Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML

#15029375
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30574) - you deserved it (3117)

On 02/18/2011 at 4:36pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, as I was walking to my car, I noticed a car with a tail light out. Trying to be a good citizen, I walked up to the driver's side door and said "excuse me". The lady then maced me through the open window. FML

#20494408
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26990) - you deserved it (3117)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:45pm - health - by maced face - United States

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

#20867818
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45744) - you deserved it (3117)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are considered electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in their own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML

#21318050
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30121) - you deserved it (3117)

On 12/15/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by thechaos (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, after months of correcting him, I got so used to my boss calling me "Alex" that I didn't respond to my own name several times today. FML

Today, I was expecting a very important work call. Today was also the day I got insuppressible diarrhea. As I was running to the washroom, the phone rang. I didn't make it to the washroom or the phone. FML

#10832589
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26622) - you deserved it (3117)

On 05/29/2010 at 12:04am - health - by phonesnshit (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I treated my mom to a movie and lunch after she'd attended weeks of AA meetings. She snuck in a flask to the movie, and during lunch, she started calling people muggles. FML

#15128111
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28792) - you deserved it (3116)

On 02/26/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by BackToRehab - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while coming back from skiing, a woman asked me if I could help her carry her stroller. I put my skis down and helped her. When I came back to pick my skis up, I saw two guys running away with my gear. You try chasing someone while wearing ski boots. FML

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wear makeup much. Expecting him to say something about my natural beauty, I replied with an honest "no." His smiled softly, gently squeezed my shoulder, and said, "Maybe you should." FML

#19964000
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23447) - you deserved it (3116)

On 07/20/2012 at 2:23pm - love - by Taylor (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

#19594950
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32517) - you deserved it (3117)

On 05/08/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by laury - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the bathroom, came back, and saw him walk over the remote, which caused the TV to change to the Hustler channel, just a few moments before my girlfriend walked through the door. FML

#20157085
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20150) - you deserved it (3116)

On 11/10/2012 at 1:51am - animals - by Sam l. - United States



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