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Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML

#4276253
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50108) - you deserved it (2938)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:40am - misc - by superfiedman (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my apartment burned to the ground. I was packed and ready to move out tomorrow. FML

#16622108
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53317) - you deserved it (2938)

On 06/12/2011 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my father in law drunkenly announced at dinner that he wished my husband had married my best friend. No one stuck up for me. Not even my husband. FML

#17715893
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36660) - you deserved it (2938)

On 09/11/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that not only is my girlfriend enough of a superstitious twat to believe the world is going to end on December 21st, she actually thinks it's an acceptable excuse to go sleep around with other men. FML

#20146254
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28396) - you deserved it (2938)

On 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm - love - by markderanjer (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I was training for my new job at a restaurant. As part of training, they give you free food so you know what to reccommend, and the dish I got was really good. Eight hours later I saw it again while I was puking; I got food poisoning from my own place of work. FML

#914179
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47774) - you deserved it (2937)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12pm - work - by newhostess (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom gave me my Christmas gift. It was a letter containing $200 and a note saying, "Here's the down payment for your apartment, please just move out already." I turned 18 last week. Thanks mom. FML

#14331455
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24835) - you deserved it (2937)

On 12/25/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was getting out of my car, an old and obese lady walked up to me and called me an "inconsiderate heartless bitch" for using the last handicap parking spot. I guess she didn't see my wheelchair. FML

#20698730
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59913) - you deserved it (2937)

On 06/01/2013 at 2:21am - misc - by regstl - United States (Oregon)

Today, at the yacht club I work at a girl ordered a Portabella wrap. She asked for no cheese or veggies, just the Portabellas. After she got the sandwich and ate half of it, she sent it back saying she didn't know it had mushrooms in it. FML

#20840141
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43218) - you deserved it (2937)

On 08/16/2013 at 10:05am - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML

#21077955
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41181) - you deserved it (2937)

On 03/04/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by fuck you, jack (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't attend her dog's funeral, and was therefore an insensitive bastard. I couldn't attend because my mum has cancer and I was driving her to a hospital appointment. FML

#14263192
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47208) - you deserved it (2936)

On 12/19/2010 at 7:31pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML

#13550544
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28123) - you deserved it (2936)

On 10/22/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (More og Romsdal)

Today, in science class, we had to make play-dough with our lab partners. We were allowed to put one thing in it to make it more bouncy or rubbery. My partner said that he wanted to put a chicken wing in ours. FML

#18374727
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23070) - you deserved it (2936)

On 11/28/2011 at 10:45am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML

#20575675
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30087) - you deserved it (2936)

On 04/05/2013 at 1:28am - misc - by slightlyworried (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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