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Today, my mom cooked her dog some potatoes, carrots, beef, rice and peas. She cooks better food for her dog than she will for our family. FML

#17039633
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31542) - you deserved it (3263)

On 07/09/2011 at 10:34am - animals - by iGreen - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML

#20679293
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43418) - you deserved it (3263)

On 05/22/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by SadPuppy - United States

Today, my water broke. I called my mom, who had agreed to watch my other two kids while I went to the hospital. When I asked her to come over, she just said, "Sorry, now isn't a good time." FML

#20781242
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47808) - you deserved it (3263)

On 07/14/2013 at 12:32am - health - by Upset Mommy - United States

Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML

#21237829
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40470) - you deserved it (3263)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I got my medical checkup back. Apparently, I'm diagnosed with a liver condition generally found in alcoholics. I've never drank in my life. FML

#2043570
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57437) - you deserved it (3262)

On 05/18/2009 at 4:48am - health - by esk (man) - China (Shanghai)

Today, I had to catch a coach to London at 4 in the morning. I was late so I had to take any free seat, so sat down next to a seemingly sweet old man. Within ten minutes, the sweet old man was trying to kiss me and trying to pull me on top of him. Nobody said anything. The journey was 4 hours long. FML

#5017525
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42566) - you deserved it (3262)

On 09/03/2009 at 8:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I found out why my five year old has been throwing tantrums while shopping. It turns out my ex-husband has been paying her three dollars for every public tantrum she throws. FML

#8051143
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34826) - you deserved it (3262)

On 02/09/2010 at 12:53pm - kids - by inthedark (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, there are rumors flying around my office that I hooked up with the guy who picks his nose and leaves boogers under tables. I didn't. Last night I took a shower at my boyfriend's place, who happens to use the exact same body wash and shampoo as the office outcast. FML

#14019566
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24378) - you deserved it (3262)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:23am - intimacy - by AntiAxe -

Today, I got demoted from my manager's position, only to be replaced by a 21 year old who has never worked in retail in her life. I now have to spend the next month teaching her my job so they can fire me. FML

#15049361
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33692) - you deserved it (3262)

On 02/20/2011 at 6:49am - work - by lisha182 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my friend set me up with a cute guy who is very germaphobic. So, I spent 4 hours cleaning my apartment. 2 minutes into the date, I sneezed. He politely told me he wasn't feeling well and left. FML

#18669836
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29481) - you deserved it (3262)

On 01/01/2012 at 12:41am - love - by upsetandannoyed - United States (New York)

Today, while I was putting up Christmas lights, my younger brother wouldn't stop pestering me. It seems he hadn't forgotten the time I gave myself an electric shock last year, and he wanted to see if I'd do it again. FML

#18419129
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21847) - you deserved it (3262)

On 12/03/2011 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I laughed when I shouldn't have and am probably fired. What happened? My boss asked me if birds were reptiles. I thought he was kidding. FML

#19817734
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26469) - you deserved it (3262)

On 06/20/2012 at 8:46am - work - by notanidiot - United States (Michigan)

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

#19942412
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35441) - you deserved it (3262)

On 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm - kids - by Zora (man) - Norway (Hordaland)



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