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Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML

#21255855
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29078) - you deserved it (2986)

On 09/10/2014 at 6:40pm - health - by skinnyguy23 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at exactly midnight, I get a text from my boyfriend saying we were done. I had just seen him 4 hours ago when we were out celebrating my birthday, and asked why he didnt just tell me then. He replies 'I couldn't break up with you on your birthday but i wanted it to be over ASAP' FML

#2323618
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50505) - you deserved it (2985)

On 05/26/2009 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my 24th birthday. I got a card from my sister reading: "Here's to another year of complete disregard for age-appropriate developmental milestones." She was right. FML

#1490
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13601) - you deserved it (2985)

On 01/17/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by nothreat33 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went with my girlfriend to her parents' house. They told me I smelled of cheap vodka. When I told them I worked in a bio lab and used ethanol a lot, they said I was too stupid to do anything like that. My girlfriend broke up with me because her parents think I'm a drunk. FML

#4479707
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59099) - you deserved it (2985)

On 08/12/2009 at 5:01pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I finally finished my art project which was worth 50% of my quarterly grade. I came in 1st period to give it to her. When she turned to look at it, her elbow hit her coffee and spilled it all over the canvas. I got 60%. She said I would have had a 100%, except for the giant coffee stain. FML

#6169952
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56003) - you deserved it (2985)

On 11/05/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't attend her dog's funeral, and was therefore an insensitive bastard. I couldn't attend because my mum has cancer and I was driving her to a hospital appointment. FML

#14263192
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47782) - you deserved it (2985)

On 12/19/2010 at 7:31pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

#13300598
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21556) - you deserved it (2985)

On 10/03/2010 at 5:35am - animals - by andrea99 - United States

Today, my mom gave me the "birds and the bees" talk, while she was taking a dump. FML

#17172362
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31544) - you deserved it (2985)

On 07/19/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by KidCudi227 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I worked 12 long hours cooped up in my office. Before leaving, my boss asked me whether I'll ever take my job seriously. FML

#16129629
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30267) - you deserved it (2985)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:51pm - work - by jamalinho (man) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)

Today, my mother met my sister's boyfriend for the first time. As we talked about it later over dinner she said she didn't like him. When I asked why, she paused for a second and said, "Well, he really reminds me of you." FML

#20611376
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38128) - you deserved it (2985)

On 04/21/2013 at 8:27pm - misc - by Ellwood - United States

Today, and throughout the past week, my electricity, water, cable, and Internet were progressively shut off. Why? Because my deranged mother-in-law has been stealing the money orders I use to pay my bills out of my mailbox. She also stole the late notices because she didn't want me to be "mad". FML

#20678301
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46800) - you deserved it (2985)

On 05/21/2013 at 6:47pm - money - by LightsOut - United States (Florida)

Today, my visiting cousin was driving me to pick-up and pay for my wedding cake at the bakery. The cops pulled him over for speeding and as it turns out his license was expired. I ended up having to use my wedding cake money to bail him out of jail. FML

#3657185
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37354) - you deserved it (2984)

On 07/11/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by mellbelle32 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom tried to give me advice on how to improve my looks. I scoffed at her but listened to her advice anyway. She ended her tirade with, "I just want you to get laid someday." FML

#6480993
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19662) - you deserved it (2984)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)



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