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Today, I celebrated my 18th birthday. Alone. My only birthday wish came from the police officer who gave me a ticket. FML

#6190643
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29936) - you deserved it (3312)

On 11/07/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by bdayloser (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend because he's been working extra hard these last two months. I went to his house only to find him in bed with another girl. Standing there, with fifteen roses in my hands, all he could say was, "Thank you, can you put them in a vase?" FML

#13497431
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39943) - you deserved it (3312)

On 10/18/2010 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I was playing rugby. I was tackled very hard at the end of a play, and I got up to find my head bleeding profusely. Not one person offered to drive me to the ER. I had to drive myself to get six stitches in the face. FML

#7771454
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29266) - you deserved it (3312)

On 02/01/2010 at 2:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got the worst sunburn I've ever had in my life, and then discovered I'm allergic to aloe when I went to treat the burn with some gel. FML

#17288890
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29371) - you deserved it (3312)

On 07/28/2011 at 5:36pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I'm going to court to give an eyewitness account of a robbery. Unfortunately, I had a wacky dream last night concerning the robbery, and no longer have any idea of what actually happened in real life. FML

#19884306
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30376) - you deserved it (3312)

On 07/03/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by Dreamer (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML

#20438667
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36982) - you deserved it (3312)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:59pm - love - by great. -

Today, marks the fourth day in a row that I've worn the same outfit to prove to my parents that they pay me no attention. They still haven't noticed. FML

#21405167
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30167) - you deserved it (3312)

On 05/05/2015 at 3:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my fiancée and I were selecting our wedding cake. The wedding is now off since I refused to buy her the "dream" wedding cake she wanted because it was chocolate. She called me childish and cheap. I'm highly allergic to chocolate. FML

#8642847
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39200) - you deserved it (3311)

On 02/25/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by Ringless - United States (Virginia)

Today, my grandma got up at 6:30am, clattered about the bathroom then sang religious songs at the top of her voice for half an hour. Apparently this is her normal routine, weekends included. She is staying with us for a month. FML

#15705276
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28961) - you deserved it (3311)

On 04/09/2011 at 4:21am - misc - by Riley (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I opened my Father's Day present from my mother-in-law. It was a glamor shot of her. FML

#16757277
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32840) - you deserved it (3311)

On 06/20/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by firethorn - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, a customer went to try on a pair of pants. A few minutes later, she hurriedly returned and put the pants back on the shelf without saying anything. I later found out she'd come down with a bout of diarrhea and apparently didn't want to pay for the dry-cleaning. Glamorous. FML

#15891295
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34714) - you deserved it (3311) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/22/2011 at 10:17pm - work - by n77 - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, I noticed a woman struggling to work a parking meter, so I went over to help. She took one look at me before screaming, hitting me in the face, and running back to her car. FML

#17030177
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27520) - you deserved it (3311)

On 07/08/2011 at 4:02pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, a customer had an allergic reaction to the almonds in the sundae I made for her. We're supposed to put the almonds on unless the customer asks otherwise. She complained to my boss that I'd poisoned her. FML

#16462261
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32471) - you deserved it (3311)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:40am - work - by Unemployed (man) - United States



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