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Today, while entering the building I live in, I walked into my neighbor who winked at me and said last night must have been great. After I asked why, he said he could hear my girlfriend moaning and screaming, and that I must be pretty good at it. I was just coming back from a week overseas. FML

#4394245
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65539) - you deserved it (2916)

On 08/08/2009 at 9:56pm - intimacy - by ouch (man) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

Today, I had to go along with my mom to meet some of her old friends from high school. When they asked her about how her life was going, she said she was married, always traveling, no kids, and introduced me as the neighbor's kid she babysits. FML

#12498978
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39290) - you deserved it (2916)

On 08/13/2010 at 12:28pm - kids - by Bullet - United States

Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML

#19255616
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30704) - you deserved it (2916)

On 03/11/2012 at 3:36am - love - by Tristan Brantley - United States (California)

Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML

#20668592
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45811) - you deserved it (2916)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:25am - misc - by Jololol - United States

Today, I was on the subway, when the girl opposite me suddenly started shouting and accusing me of photographing her. I was reading a book on my phone, and I showed her the screen, but I got shoved around anyway by another guy, who threatened to report me for being a pervert. FML

#21082304
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38923) - you deserved it (2917)

On 03/09/2014 at 3:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, a would-be customer practically kicked my store door in, then got pissed and started throwing around insults after I told him that we were still closed, hence the closed sign. He claimed the sign was "confusing". FML

#21098658
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34966) - you deserved it (2916)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:11pm - work - by IDIOT (man) - United States

Today, after going to college for 5 years to become an architect I discover my plumber makes more than I do. FML

#761
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19250) - you deserved it (2915)

On 12/30/2008 at 6:16am - work - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I've been sick with both a chest cold and a sore throat. As a result, I've also been dehydrated, causing me to have a headache. Whenever I cough, I feel like my throat is being ripped apart and my head is about to explode. FML

#19334312
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21033) - you deserved it (2915)

On 03/23/2012 at 7:10pm - health - by Zak (man) - United States

Today, I found out I've been incorrectly sorting thousands of papers for the past two weeks. My boss wanted them sorted by date, but the co-worker who instructed me said to sort them into alphabetical order just to watch me fail. FML

#11927489
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34973) - you deserved it (2914)

On 07/16/2010 at 7:48pm - work - by MSURebel70 (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend is moving out to California to be with a girl he met while on Chatroulette. We broke up because he thought we were moving too fast. FML

#10779310
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29014) - you deserved it (2914)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Sarahfizzeller - United States (Ohio)

Today, as a recovering alcoholic, I called my brother to share the news that I've been sober for a month. He invited me to a bar to celebrate. FML

#18752093
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28858) - you deserved it (2914)

On 01/08/2012 at 11:07pm - health - by Jonny - United States (California)

Today, I woke up from an explicit dream involving my dentist. I'm scheduled for a conscious sedation appointment with him in two hours and I'm terrified of what I might say or do while I'm under. FML

#20423262
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26826) - you deserved it (2914)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:05am - health - by ugh - United States (Ohio)

Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML

#18155
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37377) - you deserved it (2913)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by TGIkaty - United States (California)



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