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Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28599) - you deserved it (3350)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend of one year when an attractive girl walks over. She asks him, "Is this your girlfriend?" He replied "That depends... are you single?" FML

#6404510
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42796) - you deserved it (3350)

On 11/22/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by Rejected. (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I got the guts to call my dad for the first time in nine years. He said he "almost didn't remember" he "had another daughter." Another? FML

#13273584
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31340) - you deserved it (3349)

On 10/01/2010 at 5:09am - misc - by T - Sent from mobile version

Today, I flew to England to visit my boyfriend, who has been working there for the past three months. I went to his hotel and waited for him; he never showed up. I called one of his colleagues to ask him what was going on. He had no idea what I was talking about. FML

#18968998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33484) - you deserved it (3349)

On 02/01/2012 at 2:31pm - love - by mareda (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

#20480699
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32170) - you deserved it (3349)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)

Today, I got head lice, so I went to a store to buy medicated shampoo. When checking out the cashier saw my shampoo and asked me to leave immediately to protect the other customers. He didn't let me buy the shampoo. FML

#20775381
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55755) - you deserved it (3349)

On 07/11/2013 at 12:52am - health - by frustrated - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45907) - you deserved it (3349)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for 'the trouble' I caused. FML

#15247228
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36739) - you deserved it (3348)

On 03/09/2011 at 12:36am - work - by Cashier (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I saw some pictures of my boyfriend drunkenly kissing his ex on Facebook. I asked him about it, and he reassured me the pictures were from months ago. Unfortunately for him, I happened to notice a small tattoo on his neck. The same tattoo I went with him just last week to get. FML

Today, a bee flew into my classroom and landed on my cheek. Not only am I allergic to these things, I was hit in the face with a textbook to "make sure it's dead." FML

Today, I had my first driving lesson. I learned how to be stopped by a cop, who told me what a horrible driver I was. FML

#21422346
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21313) - you deserved it (3348)

On 06/07/2015 at 2:23pm - misc - by unhappy (man) - United States (California)

Today, when I was finished eating at McDonalds, I went to Shoppers to pick up a new toothbrush. I got back to my car only to find the windows smashed in. The only thing that was missing from my car was the Hello Kitty toy I got from McDonalds. Someone broke into my car for a 10 cent toy. FML

#5087862
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45895) - you deserved it (3347)

On 09/06/2009 at 7:12pm - money - by effmylife (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandpa told us he wanted to fit in. His idea of fitting in is streaking in a park at 4:00 pm. FML

#16878722
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30280) - you deserved it (3347)

On 06/27/2011 at 8:16am - misc - by Nice 2 inch - Canada (Ontario)



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