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Today, my girlfriend left me for my sister. I can't stop thinking about all those days they went out alone for "girl time." FML

by notgoodenough38 / 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, my girlfriends and I got a caricature painting while on a trip in the city. Unfortunately for me, the part of my appearance that the artist decided to exaggerate was my acne. FML

by fmylifegirl / 12/29/2009 at 3:59pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Health

Today, my girlfriend told me the reason she asked me to shave my beard. When I go down on her shaved, it feels more like her ex-boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 4:26pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight. What was it over? He accused me of pronouncing MY name wrong. FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2011 at 1:41am / United States / Love

Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML

by jjs51 / 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

by aranya / 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Intimacy

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my job as a cashier when a man called me his "Grocery Slave." I was almost offended, but then I thought about my salary. I am a Grocery Slave. FML

by ehrmagahd / 12/19/2012 at 12:17am / United States (Texas) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, trying to get some much needed rest, I heard my neighbors fighting loudly. When they finally quit, they left a DVD on, directly behind my wall: Spongebob, with the menu tune on loop. FML

by tired individual / 01/12/2014 at 6:04am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was the first day of fall break from college, and I was really excited to sleep in and relax the entire weekend. Apparently my boss caught wind of my happiness and scheduled me 8am-2pm each day of break, "seeing how I don't have anything else to do." FML

by cbrocks / 10/16/2009 at 2:22pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was wondering why my home smelled so weird, until I found out that my 4 year old son had been secretly scattering around food he didn't like to eat throughout the house. How did I find out? No one else in this family leaves half eaten spinach all over my underwear drawer. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2010 at 5:45am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend refused to have his hair treated against lice, because "men don't have lice". FML

by scratchy / 12/08/2010 at 9:56am / Israel (HaDarom) / Health

Today, I woke up next to my boyfriend of two years. I realized I was going to be late for work, so I asked him to hand me my underwear. I had never seen the underwear he gave me before. FML

by vsshopper / 02/22/2012 at 2:21pm / United States (California) / Intimacy