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Today, after recently moving to America as I've always dreamt of, I saw my first, majestic deer. My boyfriend slammed it with the rental car. FML

#18400487
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30462) - you deserved it (3651)

On 12/01/2011 at 12:41am - misc - by AmericanDream (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were discussing sports injuries, and I mentioned that I pulled a muscle in my crotch last year. He snorted and called me a clueless idiot because according to him, "girls don't have crotches". He's a med student. I sense malpractice lawsuits in our future. FML

#20850902
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46428) - you deserved it (3651)

On 08/23/2013 at 2:21pm - misc - by fucking financial ruin (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was treating a patient at the hospital where I'm a dentist. This particular gentleman was old and slightly deaf. After completing the procedure I gestured to the spitoon and asked him to spit. He got up, steadied himself, and spat straight in my face. FML

#21093322
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39758) - you deserved it (3651)

On 03/22/2014 at 7:56am - work - by Dr.Anonymous (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I looked at a girl's profile on a dating website, and it told her I'd visited it. Later on, she sent me a message. It said: "Don't even think about it." FML

Today, I asked a girl I like to homecoming. I brought her to my house beforehand for dinner with my family. My brother asked her whether we were just friends or dating, she shouts "Just friends!" and then starts flirting with him with me in the room. FML

#5744040
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39399) - you deserved it (3650)

On 10/09/2009 at 6:11pm - misc - by Charon - United States (Virginia)

Today, my throat is really swollen so I can only drink liquid. I noticed home-made ice-lollies in the freezer and had one. It tasted funny. Turns out my little brother had peed in one of those ice-lolly box and put it in the freezer. FML

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

#18135742
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31912) - you deserved it (3650)

On 11/02/2011 at 1:06am - misc - by steve-o - United States

Today, my wife of four years revealed to me that she once had sex with six men at once back in college. Apparently she still fantasizes about it when we have sex. FML

#20087984
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36264) - you deserved it (3650)

On 09/25/2012 at 11:09am - intimacy - by supapimpin (man) - United States

Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she's been sleeping with him. FML

#21126504
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58610) - you deserved it (3650)

On 04/29/2014 at 6:40pm - love - by loserman - United States (Texas)

Today, I had my final divorce proceeding. The judge denied my divorce because my husband is unemployed. I can't get a divorce until he gets a job to pay child support. He hasn't had a job for 3 years. FML

#5730888
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42271) - you deserved it (3649)

On 10/08/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by branwen5 - United States

Today, my mom and I had a fight in the car over who farted. The result? She wanted to smell my underwear when we got home, to prove it was me. FML

#17716214
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34628) - you deserved it (3649)

On 09/11/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by AnDroidZ_BabY - United States (Texas)

Today, my whole family piled into our station wagon just to watch my mom take part in an arm wrestling contest. FML

#17634077
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23084) - you deserved it (3649)

On 09/01/2011 at 5:55am - misc - by Chris75 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that a tornado is not the same thing as a hurricane. I couldn't convince him, and he still won't talk to me. FML

#17726304
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27432) - you deserved it (3649)

On 09/12/2011 at 4:07am - misc - by facepalm - United Kingdom



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