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Today, my fiancé's best friend, who will be our best man at our wedding, decided to confess his feelings for me and tell me how he's always dreamed of us eloping together. The wedding is going to be awkward. FML

#20921675
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45359) - you deserved it (2894)

On 10/15/2013 at 4:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out where all my expensive bras and panties have been disappearing to. Apparently, while I'm at work, my fifteen year-old son's girlfriend has been stealing them after they have sex in my bed. FML

#6874607
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23645) - you deserved it (2893)

On 12/21/2009 at 10:28pm - intimacy - by Secretisout (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend yet again unsuccessfully tried to hold in uncontrollable giggling every time I moaned or sighed during sex. He's 24. I'm terrified of his reaction should I ever reach an orgasm with him. FML

#19557308
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25942) - you deserved it (2893)

On 05/01/2012 at 7:02am - intimacy - by epicsquishii (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a strange sound that sounded like a lot of water being poured into a sink. It was actually my father in law using the bathtub as a toilet. He's staying with us, and is showing no signs of leaving any time soon. He thinks this is acceptable behavior. FML

#15840429
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26861) - you deserved it (2892)

On 04/18/2011 at 10:33pm - misc - by MyS3lf - United States

Today, a friend complimented me on my "smoky eyeshadow". I wasn't wearing eye makeup. She was complimenting the result of my insomnia. FML

#20904600
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38687) - you deserved it (2893)

On 10/02/2013 at 12:22pm - health - by Tired (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML

#21213089
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34476) - you deserved it (2892)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Cura?ao

Today, the girl I've had a crush on decided she wanted to see a movie with me. I tried to hold her hand during the movie and it was great for about 4 minutes. Then she said "Can I have my hand back?" FML

#1552
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19873) - you deserved it (2891)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:12am - love - by vargasm - United States (New York)

Today, the only girl I'm friends with deleted my comment off of her profile because she was too embarrassed that people would see we were friends. FML

#6514
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35090) - you deserved it (2891)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by sh33zy (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I discovered that instead of being a harmless way to relax after a rough day, parking in an empty lot apparently means you are either dealing drugs or want to commit suicide. I was detained, my car was searched and I was grilled about my happiness. Great stress relief, eh? FML

Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML

#17063070
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57158) - you deserved it (2891)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my brother's girlfriend broke up with him. He has been playing Whitney Houston's "I will always love you" all day. FML

#19045802
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29001) - you deserved it (2891)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:23am - love - by annon - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a man in my town was arrested for hiding methanphetamine in a hollowed out walking cane and distributing it to the population of his retirement complex. That man was my 58 year old father. FML

#259923
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68963) - you deserved it (2890)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, we brought our Christmas tree inside to decorate. We decorated it, then went out to dinner as a family. Returning 2 hours later, we came back to find our living room to be occupied. Not with people. The tree had been filled with baby spiders, and they were all over the living room. FML

#6609748
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32493) - you deserved it (2890)

On 12/05/2009 at 12:15am - animals - by Worsttreeever (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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Tuesday 22 July 2014

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