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Today, I was leaning under a counter to get my girlfriend her favorite snack food out of a low cabinet when she decided it would be funny to poke me while I was in an awkward position. I jerked up, rammed my head on the bottom of the counter, and ended up at the ER with staples in my head. FML

#2907307
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39313) - you deserved it (2452)

On 06/15/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by bronzemedal97 (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I didn't get promoted, but the guy who showed up to work drunk a few weeks ago did. FML

#6691372
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27396) - you deserved it (2452)

On 12/10/2009 at 5:38am - work - by Hmmwtf (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

#17448380
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24778) - you deserved it (2452)

On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after staying up all night with an excruciating headache, it finally went away. I crawled into bed and snuggled up to my husband only to have him shift positions and elbow me right in the head. FML

#18534039
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23473) - you deserved it (2452)

On 12/17/2011 at 6:09am - health - by wideawakeandinpain - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going through some troubles in our relationship, and she said to me, "No offense, but I really hope no other relationship I have in the future will be like this one." Some offense taken. FML

#20141147
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19856) - you deserved it (2452)

On 10/31/2012 at 12:22am - love - by anon (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, in a fit of paranoid hysteria, my mom threw out my phone, claiming the NSA can look through the camera to spy on me. I guess that's why you're still using your own phone to sext your latest boyfriend, eh mom? FML

#20737057
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37761) - you deserved it (2452)

On 06/20/2013 at 12:02pm - misc - by whoriblemomindeed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a list of employee names who were losing their jobs and I had to remove them from the system as I work for IT. I was on the list. That's right. My last responsibility as an employee was removing myself from the system for security reasons. FML

#1818659
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64325) - you deserved it (2451)

On 05/10/2009 at 4:41pm - work - by IT_4_Hire (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was texting my friend. He has a history of depression, which we were talking about, and somehow, he turned the conversation to: "If we ever broke up, I would kill myself." I didn't even know we were even going out. FML

#6740845
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34506) - you deserved it (2451)

On 12/13/2009 at 7:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel I'm employed at. After checking in a young couple to the room above the main office, I was forced to listen to them having it off for most of the night, serving a very loud reminder that I've been single for five years. FML

#8582830
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15983) - you deserved it (2451)

On 02/23/2010 at 6:52am - intimacy - by Cromwel620 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend likes to show his female co-workers his dick, by emailing them pictures of it. I found out when he included my email address in with theirs. FML

#13880762
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26124) - you deserved it (2451)

On 11/17/2010 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my ass decided that it was the perfect day to exhibit the diarrhea side-effect of medicine I'm taking. I definitely made a lasting impression on my interviewer. FML

#20846310
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36540) - you deserved it (2451)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:18pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my new girlfriend was telling me how she's attracted to "All-American" looking guys. Tall, manly body, handsome face. Then she says, "But it's ok, you're cute too." FML

#6710252
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24427) - you deserved it (2450)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:24pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was talking to my fellow coworker about how nervous I was about sleeping with this guy I really liked. She's been constantly giving me advice about him for months, but today she said "Oh don't worry, he isn't that good in bed anyway." FML

#6293770
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16760) - you deserved it (2450)

On 11/13/2009 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by taurus05 (woman) - United States



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