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Today, I texted my dad and told him I was getting married in five months. His reply: "I gotta work that day." FML

#13636513
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28103) - you deserved it (3255)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:02am - misc - by Kristinmarsh08 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was fired from the babysitting job I have had for 2 years. I thought maybe the mother had found out that I sometimes let her kids stay up late and have extra sweets. The real reason, as she told me, was that she didn't want her kids loving anyone more than they love her. FML

#3949898
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54905) - you deserved it (3255)

On 07/22/2009 at 8:17am - work - by babysitter93 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

#17373472
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40540) - you deserved it (3255)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Creeped_out_n_stuck (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was supposed to catch a ride with a friend and go to Warped Tour with her. She called at the last minute to say she was sick, so I told her we didn't have to go. I just got a text saying she just got pictures and autographs with the band I especially wanted to see. FML

#17442115
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34918) - you deserved it (3255)

On 08/11/2011 at 4:56pm - misc - by brittgreen (woman) - United States (California)

Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML

#17547922
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33880) - you deserved it (3255)

On 08/22/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by Say Cheese - United States (Michigan)

Today, a guy professed his love for me in front of my friends. The guy is my first cousin. FML

#20414731
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40159) - you deserved it (3255)

On 12/22/2012 at 9:33pm - love - by Brittany (woman) - United States

Today, my mother and I were discussing how we couldn't believe it's been nearly a year since my dad died. Not paying attention, my husband absentmindedly added, "Time flies when you're having fun." FML

#20804154
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44343) - you deserved it (3255)

On 07/26/2013 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was working at the daycare. As I left with my boyfriend, a kid came up to us and said that my boyfriend could do way better. FML

#21251155
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35772) - you deserved it (3255)

On 09/03/2014 at 1:40pm - kids - by unlucky - United States (New York)

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. As things got heated, he broke down crying. I assumed it was just anxiety so I hugged him and told him it's alright and that it didn't matter, we'd try another time. Half an hour later, he confessed that he's actually gay. FML

Today, I caught my cat humping my dog while he was asleep. I'm sleeping with the door closed from now on. FML

#497
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32371) - you deserved it (3254)

On 12/11/2008 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Black - Lebanon (Beqaa)

Today, I text messaged my mom from Afghanistan to let her know everything was okay. She responded, telling me not to message her so much because "the price of text messages really adds up." FML

#13842937
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36944) - you deserved it (3254)

On 11/14/2010 at 5:26pm - money - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML

#18393889
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30729) - you deserved it (3254)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by Madi - United States (California)

Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML

#20738899
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45570) - you deserved it (3254)

On 06/21/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by lehonj49 (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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