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Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML

#19504984
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27647) - you deserved it (3339)

On 04/21/2012 at 4:36am - animals - by yikes - United States

Today, my little brother gave me an open jar of peanut butter for my birthday. I'm deathly allergic, and he knows it. Despite his maniacal grin and snickering, my parents said it was an innocent mistake, and grounded me for yelling at him. FML

#20625530
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52481) - you deserved it (3339)

On 04/27/2013 at 4:23pm - health - by stuckwithafamilyofcunts (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I was walking around my college campus when someone asked me if I had gotten separated from my tour group. He didn't believe me when I said I was a student there. This happens all the time. FML

#21095673
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36367) - you deserved it (3339)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly 6 minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML

#21393865
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30107) - you deserved it (3339)

On 04/15/2015 at 12:17am - kids - by mommylife (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was about to kiss my girlfriend right as the clock struck midnight for New Year's. She put her hand in front of my mouth, and broke up with me. FML

#14417196
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45762) - you deserved it (3338)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's totally convinced I'm gay. When I tried explaining that I can't be if I'm attracted to her, she took it as me thinking she's mannish. FML

#17826284
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31915) - you deserved it (3338)

On 09/25/2011 at 12:23am - love - by Leenotgay (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I took my driving test. As I was about to turn at a green light, a car sped toward us from the other direction, running a red light. My instructor failed me because I stopped to avoid getting rammed. Apparently I should have kept going, because it was my right of way. FML

#20830853
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61593) - you deserved it (3338)

On 08/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML

#20963751
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37562) - you deserved it (3339)

On 11/19/2013 at 8:09pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to the doctor. I told her I felt down all the time. She asked me a few questions and she told me I was depressed. She suggested to go home and find the sources of my depression. When I told my parents, they started laughing and said "Yeah, right." I think I found my source. FML

#3429206
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48612) - you deserved it (3337)

On 07/02/2009 at 3:49pm - health - by farrahfarrest_ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my father for some help paying my college tuition. He told me he'd help me after I become more accredited than he is. My father has 2 PHDs. I'm studying to be an elementary school teacher. FML

#6255199
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27505) - you deserved it (3337)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:47am - misc - by Stupidteach (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a nap in our country house. I was sick with a fever of 101.3. When I woke up, I see that my family had left to go back to the apartment. They forgot me. FML

#16543151
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34353) - you deserved it (3337)

On 06/07/2011 at 6:27am - misc - by Sickinbed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I confessed to my co-worker that I've secretly loved him for months. He laughed hysterically for about a minute straight before shaking his head and excusing himself from the store. Even the fact that my boss fired him for leaving early isn't cheering me up. FML

#19965538
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20738) - you deserved it (3337)

On 07/20/2012 at 9:59pm - love - by Alanis (woman) - United States

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend and mother have been sending each other sexually-explicit picture messages. FML



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