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Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML

#14234444
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33817) - you deserved it (3077)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:05am - intimacy - by biblewanker - Australia

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML

#18508427
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51471) - you deserved it (3077)

On 12/14/2011 at 12:15am - love - by newlysingle (man) - United States

Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said "Have fun!" FML

#5846674
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26837) - you deserved it (3076)

On 10/15/2009 at 9:59pm - health - by Rob - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on a date with someone I've had a crush on for a long time. It was after midnight, we were chatting in the car and I was close to having my first kiss ever. That is, until a bunch of policemen popped up to arrest my date for being a suspected drug dealer. FML

#8651104
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29489) - you deserved it (3076)

On 02/25/2010 at 10:05pm - love - by ifaisal - Qatar (Ad Dawhah)

Today, I told my father I registered for the Marines, and that I'm leaving for bootcamp next week. He asked if this means that he doesn't have to pay child support anymore. FML

#12401273
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28135) - you deserved it (3076)

On 08/09/2010 at 12:03am - misc - by Widowmaker - Sent from mobile version

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML

#18807759
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39709) - you deserved it (3076)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML

#20109154
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26511) - you deserved it (3076)

On 10/09/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by FarmerGirl - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up and went into the bathroom and noticed a dark mass in the toilet. Thinking someone took a dump and didn't flush, I approached the toilet ready to dispose of it. That's when I noticed its whiskers and ears. It was a rat, and it was alive. FML

#1763886
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55728) - you deserved it (3075)

On 05/08/2009 at 11:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I received a packet of papers in the mail by the state suing me for child support. I am 22 and still a virgin. FML

#24806
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59629) - you deserved it (3075)

On 02/11/2009 at 10:51am - misc - by Distressed (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I thought it would be nice to take my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for my birthday. She got a little headache after we ordered, so she went outside to get some air. I ate a $100 meal and had Happy Birthday sang to me by the restaurant staff. Alone. FML

#5498731
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38187) - you deserved it (3075)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after being laid off for over a year, I got turned down for an unpaid internship. I can't even get people to let me work for free. FML

#16561616
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29140) - you deserved it (3075)

On 06/08/2011 at 12:10pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I have my very first gynecologist appointment. I'm 15. My mom wants to "be on the safe side" and make sure I'm not sexually active. This is my punishment for being a virgin. FML

#17688285
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31726) - you deserved it (3075)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:57pm - health - by AudraRose - United States

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

#19592298
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30322) - you deserved it (3075)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States



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