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Today, I left for work. Halfway to my car, my neighbour's son jumped out and emptied a bucket of water all over me. The little pissant screamed with laughter and ran back to his house. His mum's reaction was essentially "kids will be kids" and slamming the door on me. FML

#21074103
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42796) - you deserved it (3484)

On 02/28/2014 at 3:01pm - kids - by HeMayHaveSomeIssues (man) - Denmark

Today, I was forced to watch my 5 year old cousin. In an attempt to get him to sit still for a minute, I challenged him to a thumb wrestling match. It's been 2 hours and he keeps thumb wrestling me. If I stop, he cries. FML

Today, I was talking to my mom about when I have kids. I told her I may want two or three. She immediately cut me off and told me to stick to one, and that any more than that will be a burden. I am the second born child of my family. FML

#5035693
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39756) - you deserved it (3483)

On 09/04/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by pandabear93 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was told that I will never be able to have children. Thankfully for my husband, his girlfriend sure can. FML

#15252326
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50462) - you deserved it (3483)

On 03/09/2011 at 5:08pm - love - by sosad -

Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML

#18302011
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45034) - you deserved it (3483)

On 11/20/2011 at 9:05pm - kids - by brokeandalone (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML

#20114701
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36825) - you deserved it (3483)

On 10/13/2012 at 8:04am - intimacy - by notthebesttime -

Today, I was late for class. I have extreme social anxiety, so I quietly slipped into the huge, packed auditiorium, trying to be as quiet as possible. When I was almost to my seat, I accidentally kicked a teacher's coffee down the steps. The entire class looked at me and clapped. FML

#20069005
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23391) - you deserved it (3483)

On 09/12/2012 at 4:11pm - misc - by conspicuous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was walking back to my dorm with my boyfriend. He was being really sweet as he held my hand. We were about to kiss goodnight and as he pushed some hair out of my face he said, "Can we hurry it up? I'm about to rip one." FML

#21289293
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30770) - you deserved it (3483)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:39pm - love - by grossedout -

Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML

#20857349
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46995) - you deserved it (3482)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:06am - work - by DefinitelyNotDogshit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, during a moment of silence in front of the entire high school during my band concert, I managed to hit the stand with my flute, and loudly scrambled to catch it before it fell over. I've never had so many people look at me. FML

#21309681
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27614) - you deserved it (3482)

On 12/01/2014 at 9:06pm - misc - by Silverfeathery -

Today, the bank called saying we were late in the mortgage payments. I was puzzled because three months ago I issued a big cheque to my mum pay off the mortgage. I just discovered that she instead lost it all at the casino. Turns out, she's become a compulsive gambler ever since dad passed away. FML

#4853130
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46715) - you deserved it (3481)

On 08/27/2009 at 1:53am - money - by smoothcoffee (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I received a text from my girlfriend to break up with me. I was upset. One minute later another text from her said "sorry, wrong person." FML

#4618484
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64996) - you deserved it (3481)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Kazakhstan (Almaty)

Today, I was shopping when I suddenly slipped on the wet floor and my basket and my groceries were flung everywhere. Moments later, one of the cleaners walked over holding a "wet floor" sign, saw me and laughed. FML

#21229760
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42376) - you deserved it (3481)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:52am - misc - by ms98 - Australia (South Australia)



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