Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was informed that my boyfriend's mother would be joining us on our Valentine's dinner. I'm not sure if this momma's boy thing is going to work out. FML

#19061872
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25336) - you deserved it (3162)

On 02/12/2012 at 11:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to take my driver's test, and I did almost everything perfectly. The last thing was to back into a driveway. As I went to put my hand on the passenger seat to look over my shoulder, I got so nervous that I hit my instructor in the face. FML

#19782263
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25534) - you deserved it (3162)

On 06/13/2012 at 2:13pm - misc - by sopissed - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got a coworker at my new job in trouble, because he kept harassing me and asking me out, even after I clearly told him I wasn't interested. Turns out he's very popular around here, and everyone now hates me for being a trouble-maker and not "taking a compliment." FML

#20098400
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22313) - you deserved it (3162)

On 10/02/2012 at 2:27pm - work - by friendlessatwork (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was so totally stressed out at work that I took my car into the park and reclined my seat and shut my eyes. Soon I noticed the soothing sounds of raindrops on my car and I felt a little better for once. I opened my eyes to see that a bunch of birds had crapped all over my car. FML

#1935923
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34732) - you deserved it (3161)

On 05/14/2009 at 5:09pm - work - by overlandparkmommie (woman) - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a group of friends when I got into a conversation with this really attractive girl who I've liked for months. She asked me what school I go to. I sit to her left in biology. FML

#4961787
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39931) - you deserved it (3161)

On 08/31/2009 at 8:40pm - love - by outofluckdude (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, at my new job, I took some food out to a customer. Walking away, I heard a lady mumble, "Oh my God, you could never pay me enough to wear that." FML

#14197069
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21311) - you deserved it (3161)

On 12/13/2010 at 11:13pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I decided to take a nap before a big job interview at 6. I set two alarm clocks to make sure I didn't miss it, but I woke up at 5:59. As I'm scrambling in a panic to get out the door, my mom says calmly, "I took your alarm clocks out of your room because you looked really tired today." FML

#10841820
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39100) - you deserved it (3161)

On 05/29/2010 at 1:39pm - misc - by thanksmum (woman) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I came home from school and found my mother singing along to her latest investment, a compilation CD filled with heavy metal covers of ABBA classics. FML

Today, my boyfriend decided he is going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML

#19201903
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21046) - you deserved it (3161)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:01am - misc - by types (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML

#20179174
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33440) - you deserved it (3161)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I woke up from a much needed nap realizing I should take my pain medication. My mother then told me she had thrown them out so I wouldn't get addicted and become a drug dealer. FML

#20723014
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56405) - you deserved it (3161)

On 06/13/2013 at 3:05am - health - by _Tatyana_ - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found on Facebook that my best friend of 10 years is getting married next week. I'm guessing my invite got lost in the mail. FML

#20976772
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44286) - you deserved it (3161)

On 12/01/2013 at 7:43am - misc - by JD - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I called my husband during my lunch to tell him that I wanted to go out tonight for my birthday. We got in argument because he said we couldn't afford it. When I got home from work, he was gone, so I called his cell to see where he went. Answer: to the bar with his friends. FML

#5476343
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41662) - you deserved it (3160)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:15pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: