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Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

#9143571
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36643) - you deserved it (2914)

On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I met my recently divorced mother's new boyfriend. He is missing teeth and has long hair and a mangy beard. Horrified, I left the room, only to hear my mother telling my sister, "The sex is phenomenal!" FML

#12550776
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29397) - you deserved it (2914)

On 08/16/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I learned why my credit score is so low. My mom stole my identity almost three years ago. Her excuse? "You didn't need good credit for anything anyways". FML

#15239468
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38641) - you deserved it (2914)

On 03/08/2011 at 10:21am - money - by MommyLovesMe (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, as a recovering alcoholic, I called my brother to share the news that I've been sober for a month. He invited me to a bar to celebrate. FML

#18752093
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28833) - you deserved it (2914)

On 01/08/2012 at 11:07pm - health - by Jonny - United States (California)

Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML

#20668592
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45759) - you deserved it (2914)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:25am - misc - by Jololol - United States

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

#20965814
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43386) - you deserved it (2914)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:52pm - animals - by thatsnotacat - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out I've been incorrectly sorting thousands of papers for the past two weeks. My boss wanted them sorted by date, but the co-worker who instructed me said to sort them into alphabetical order just to watch me fail. FML

#11927489
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34944) - you deserved it (2913)

On 07/16/2010 at 7:48pm - work - by MSURebel70 (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I've been sick with both a chest cold and a sore throat. As a result, I've also been dehydrated, causing me to have a headache. Whenever I cough, I feel like my throat is being ripped apart and my head is about to explode. FML

#19334312
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21012) - you deserved it (2913)

On 03/23/2012 at 7:10pm - health - by Zak (man) - United States

Today, I was on the subway, when the girl opposite me suddenly started shouting and accusing me of photographing her. I was reading a book on my phone, and I showed her the screen, but I got shoved around anyway by another guy, who threatened to report me for being a pervert. FML

#21082304
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38904) - you deserved it (2913)

On 03/09/2014 at 3:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, a would-be customer practically kicked my store door in, then got pissed and started throwing around insults after I told him that we were still closed, hence the closed sign. He claimed the sign was "confusing". FML

#21098658
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34938) - you deserved it (2913)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:11pm - work - by IDIOT (man) - United States

Today, my husband decided to play a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at the dinner table. To make matters worse, it was a compilation of different noises from over a long period of time. My family was horrified and my husband seemed proud of himself. FML

#21222673
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29078) - you deserved it (2914)

On 07/28/2014 at 12:36am - misc - by blow away - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after going to college for 5 years to become an architect I discover my plumber makes more than I do. FML

#761
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19223) - you deserved it (2912)

On 12/30/2008 at 6:16am - work - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

#20184714
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26709) - you deserved it (2912)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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