Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was fired from the trucking company I work for, due to numerous complaints about my reckless driving. I don't even do driving work there, but my ex keeps calling in to report me, and my boss wanted the calls to stop. FML

#15285580
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36018) - you deserved it (2967)

On 03/12/2011 at 6:18pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's my birthday. At my workplace, we always get a cake for whoever's birthday it is. They somehow forgot about me. I've been working there for a year, and my grandparents and my dad own the restaurant I work at. FML

#16324475
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36428) - you deserved it (2967)

On 05/24/2011 at 3:55am - work - by birthdayfail -

Today, while lifeguarding at my local beach, I noticed someone having difficulty swimming back to shore. I ran out and swam him back to shore. Once we were on dry land, he cussed me out for "emasculating" him in front of his girlfriend. FML

Today, my mom found a new fad, and now styles herself as some kind of modern druid. Normally I'd just roll my eyes and deal with it, except she's forced the entire family to go vegetarian, threatening harsh punishments if we refuse to stop "poisoning" our bodies. FML

#20943896
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36996) - you deserved it (2967)

On 11/03/2013 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. My doctor said it was okay to eat, so, I had some mashed potatoes. Apparently, my body disagreed with the doctor, because I threw up. Because my face was so swollen, it didn't make it out my mouth. It went through my nose instead. I literally blew chunks. FML

Today, it's my two year anniversary with my wife. She's celebrating the day with her new boyfriend. FML

#13498191
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35004) - you deserved it (2966)

On 10/18/2010 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML

#10713367
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23108) - you deserved it (2966)

On 05/23/2010 at 2:02pm - kids - by rkl2010 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML

#17930849
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23970) - you deserved it (2966)

On 10/07/2011 at 9:23pm - work - by Lucas79 - Australia

Today, I got my boyfriend a pair of concert tickets for his birthday. He loved the gift, but turned to me and said "Do I have to bring you?" FML

#37272
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35253) - you deserved it (2965)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by sarahhh (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that the friend I stayed up with for nights on end, talking out of depression and suicide, has 'politely' posted up on facebook that he secretly hates me. FML

#13508700
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26626) - you deserved it (2965)

On 10/19/2010 at 5:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

#20044244
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22924) - you deserved it (2965)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:57am - love - by kvdfan (woman) - United States

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door to borrow my laundry room key. He was bare-ass naked. When I refused to open the door, he tried to break it down. I had to call the police before he would leave. FML

Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML

#3252753
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56602) - you deserved it (2964)

On 06/26/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by Chedder (man) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: