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Today, I called my dad to tell him my boyfriend had proposed to me, and that we're planning on being married this summer. He was surprised at the short engagement, so I said, "Well, we're almost 30." Dad replied, "Wow, I left your mom when I was 35!" So not the conversation for that information, Dad. FML

#9150929
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22400) - you deserved it (3081)

On 03/17/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by rainonmyparade (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I have come to the point in my life where I need to Google how to stop excessive back sweat. FML

#17851509
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20758) - you deserved it (3081)

On 09/27/2011 at 10:18pm - health - by MissPerspirent (woman) - Canada

Today, at work, I was screamed at and slapped by a woman for supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality, I'd simply turned her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowed number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML

#20623583
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46327) - you deserved it (3081)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:03pm - work - by fuck you walmart (woman) - United States

Today, my taxi driver kept falling asleep and swerving off the road, so I asked him if he was okay. He stopped and burst out sobbing about the long hours he had to do after his divorce and his wife taking all he had. Long story short, I ended up driving him home and getting a taxi from his place. FML

#21273346
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38653) - you deserved it (3081)

On 10/08/2014 at 5:01am - misc - by rockytrolley - Cyprus

Today, I learnt that the girl with who I've being going out for 6 months, has been sleeping with every guy around except one. Guess who? FML

#379
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36815) - you deserved it (3080)

On 11/24/2008 at 1:08am - love - by lectro - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was fired from the babysitting job I have had for 2 years. I thought maybe the mother had found out that I sometimes let her kids stay up late and have extra sweets. The real reason, as she told me, was that she didn't want her kids loving anyone more than they love her. FML

#3949898
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52303) - you deserved it (3080)

On 07/22/2009 at 8:17am - work - by babysitter93 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me with a voice card. It said "Marry me Amber?" I'm not Amber. That's his ex. FML

Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML

#19824729
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26729) - you deserved it (3080)

On 06/21/2012 at 4:28pm - misc - by tubby (woman) - Sweden (Blekinge Lan)

Today, my younger brother helpfully pointed out that I'm the only one in my family of five who is single. He's twelve. FML

#21283583
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33981) - you deserved it (3080)

On 10/23/2014 at 1:18am - love - by 20singleandproudish (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my landlord started showing my apartment, where I have lived and paid rent for over 2 years, to prospective tenants. I didn't realize that I was moving. FML

#21120676
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42451) - you deserved it (3079)

On 04/23/2014 at 8:43am - misc - by Almost_Homeless - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I returned home to find that my boyfriend's dog had gotten into the garbage and ripped all my used pads to shreds. There's a trail of Always tatters leading to his dog bed, and blood everywhere. My blood. Oh God. FML

#8435501
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31871) - you deserved it (3079)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:24am - animals - by OMGraven (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML

#20549421
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37844) - you deserved it (3079)

On 03/18/2013 at 3:38pm - love - by Maggie - United States

Today, I walked downstairs in a new outfit, after dieting for 3 months, and losing just over 20 pounds. My mom took one look at me and said "You'd better keep going." FML

#134892
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44687) - you deserved it (3078)

On 02/25/2009 at 5:06pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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