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Today, at my hairdressing job, my first client of the day came in for a cut. Her hair smelled awful, and when I asked her why, she informed me that she'd gotten trashed with some friends the night before, and one of them had puked in her hair. She came to me to get it cleaned out. FML

#16271295
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35551) - you deserved it (3467)

On 05/20/2011 at 7:29pm - work - by ewwgross - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the father of my child couldn't understand why he had been laid off from his job as a painter's assistant. He couldn't find a broom or vacuum, so he "cleaned" a carpet by laying down strips of painter's tape and pulling it up. FML

#19586827
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21518) - you deserved it (3467)

On 05/07/2012 at 11:57am - work - by notrocketscience (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45712) - you deserved it (3467)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, an old man approached me at work. I smiled and asked, "Hi, can I help you"? He looked at me for a few seconds before replying, "Fuck me, you need to lose some weight!" and then wandering off. FML

#21379495
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28396) - you deserved it (3467)

On 03/22/2015 at 1:41pm - work - by { o } (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my sister recorded the sound of me having intense diarrhea, retching at the stench, and eventually breaking down in tears. I only found out when I saw she'd posted it online, with the caption "lol #gaytard #sorrynotsorry". I've never been called a pussy by so many people before. FML

#21457966
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20013) - you deserved it (3467)

On 08/19/2015 at 8:14am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom found a box full of stuff she had been looking for. She starts going through it and finds baby pictures of my sister and I as well as pictures of the cats. She puts my baby pictures back in the box and closes the lid. The cat pictures are now hanging in her living room. FML

#656322
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47402) - you deserved it (3466)

On 03/28/2009 at 1:38am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I have pink eye in both eyes, the stomach virus, and a cold. I'm also sitting at work because my boss "doesn't believe in sick days." FML

#20735203
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53505) - you deserved it (3466)

On 06/19/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by sicksicksick - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my grandma commented on my Facebook profile picture: "That's a great photo! It doesn't look anything like you!" FML

#20982946
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37701) - you deserved it (3466)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by oh (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I was sitting on a bench outside a supermarket waiting to be picked up, when a old lady walked out of the shop. She hadn't noticed me and sat on the bench beside me. She looked around and saw me, rolled her eyes, got up and moved to a different bench. FML

#21090670
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35338) - you deserved it (3466)

On 03/19/2014 at 6:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was driving in my very own car that I bought and paid for myself, when I stopped at a stop light. Then I noticed the truck in front of me turn on his reverse lights. I honked desperately. He hits me, looks out the window and says "I see no damage" and drives away. FML

#2072486
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58934) - you deserved it (3465)

On 05/19/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML

#6512953
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40065) - you deserved it (3465)

On 11/29/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by Yoooooo0 (woman) - United States

Today, I was riding my bike to the local grocery store to pick up some supplies for dinner. On the way down, traveling down a hill, I hit a drain with no lid. I went to grab hold of the nearest object to soften my fall. That nearest object was a barbed wire fence. FML

#4324727
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48845) - you deserved it (3465)

On 08/06/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Lawrence (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend's dad offered me $100 to break up with his daughter. I eagerly replied "no", but my girlfriend grabbed the money and said, "deal." FML

#13079046
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37345) - you deserved it (3465)

On 09/16/2010 at 9:30pm - love - by ccblock (man) - United States (Florida)



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