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Today, I realized that when my dad said he would pay for my college, he really meant that he was going to forge my signature on a student loan in my name and not make payments on it. FML

#20927730
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48351) - you deserved it (3394)

On 10/20/2013 at 4:34pm - money - by oh... (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while I was making love to my wife, she looks up and says, "I'll paint the ceiling white." FML

#5716873
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17212) - you deserved it (3393)

On 10/08/2009 at 1:41am - intimacy - by JD (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received my acceptance letter to one of the most prestigious universities in the US, as well as a nice scholarship. I was so proud of myself, I eagerly showed my dad, hoping he would shed a tear or two. His only words were, "Just get a job so you can get the hell out of my house." FML

#13956105
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33740) - you deserved it (3393)

On 11/23/2010 at 11:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said "That was my daughter." FML

#14622916
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31848) - you deserved it (3393)

On 01/18/2011 at 3:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't be able to cover his share of the rent because he didn't work during the week, saying business has been slow. I checked and found out he called in sick four times. He wanted to stay home and watch online gaming matches. FML

#21312891
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30624) - you deserved it (3393)

On 12/06/2014 at 11:52pm - misc - by he wasn't even playing - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, we got our family pictures back from the printers. I complained to my mom about the ones she picked. "Oh don't worry," she said. "I had them photoshop out your gut." I was talking about my smile. FML

#7292547
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22409) - you deserved it (3392)

On 01/12/2010 at 12:11am - misc - by Me (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, one of my usually unpleasant managers offered me a slice of cheese cake for doing a good job. I declined, but after some pestering on his part I finally accepted it. I have been violently ill for the past 2 hours. FML

#14279972
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27505) - you deserved it (3392)

On 12/21/2010 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am feeling freezing cold and soaking wet. It turns out that my dad had opened my window when I was sleeping, and rain water had been pouring in on me all night. My hair, face, pillow, blankets, alarm clock, and homework were all soaked as well. FML

#20722563
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48503) - you deserved it (3392)

On 06/12/2013 at 10:40pm - misc - by Anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

#20952633
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37070) - you deserved it (3392)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by fuck you, bitchcake (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I went on a date with this guy and he was on his phone the whole night. When I got home I checked his facebook since he barely paid attention to me. His status was, "So-and-so is taking out the trash" from mobile posted an hour ago. I got home from my date 30 mins ago. FML

#2920786
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36803) - you deserved it (3391)

On 06/15/2009 at 7:57pm - love - by skreweduP (woman) - United States

Today, I threw up in the car. While driving. The good news though, I had a bag to catch it all. Bad news? The bag had a giant hole in the bottom. FML

#15084705
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26268) - you deserved it (3391)

On 02/22/2011 at 10:55pm - health - by CarSick (woman) - United States

Today, at work my boss told me I have been late, under-productive, and using up a lot of sick days. He says my job is on the line. My reason for barely showing up at work: I've been on maternity leave for 6 weeks. FML

#15917081
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34383) - you deserved it (3391)

On 04/25/2011 at 7:41am - work - by Aginsafa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years dumped me for a chick I shared a hospital room with for 2 months. I introduced them. FML

#17965522
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34920) - you deserved it (3391)

On 10/12/2011 at 2:11am - love - by anonymous - Canada



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