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Today, my boyfriend told my roommate about a trick he had used by filling nail holes with toothpaste when he moved out. When I came home with putty to fill the holes, there were blue spots all over the walls. She had filled them with blue gel toothpaste. Now I get to repaint, too. FML

#4011609
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38880) - you deserved it (3696)

On 07/24/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my girlfriend of 15 months broke up with me. Best part? I just picked up an expensive sterling silver ring engraved with Forever and Always for her last week (she knew about this). The other best part? She asked if she could still have it and if she could keep my hamster. FML

Today, I got woken up by Hallelujah blasting outside my apartment windows for 30 minutes straight. FML

#12636140
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24865) - you deserved it (3696)

On 08/20/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by notyoueallie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while looking through pictures of my boyfriend and me on Facebook, I noticed that in practically every single one featuring my best friend, his eyes are directed down her shirt. FML

#19905936
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28724) - you deserved it (3696)

On 07/07/2012 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

#20042115
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38870) - you deserved it (3696)

On 08/26/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML

#20039608
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21556) - you deserved it (3696)

On 08/24/2012 at 5:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Walsall)

Today, while working at Subway, I was about to take a guy's order. He quickly held up a hand and asked for someone else to make his sub, because he doesn't like "ugly people" touching his food. FML

#20871412
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55008) - you deserved it (3696)

On 09/07/2013 at 12:59pm - work - by /(•'_'•)\ (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to work with a great attitude, something that doesn't happen often. It was shortly ruined after some lady yelled at me because I accidentally shorted her one penny. Yep. One single penny. FML

#21344188
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25650) - you deserved it (3696)

On 01/25/2015 at 8:41pm - work - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my sister asked me to grab her some toilet paper. I refused, so she grabbed my favorite shirt out of the laundry basket and used it to wipe. I was busy icing my sprained ankle. I couldn't walk. She knew this. FML

#21482755
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25880) - you deserved it (3696)

On 10/21/2015 at 8:57pm - kids - by thanks sis - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to get my school picture taken, when the photographer looked at me, saying, "You look like you need a mirror." FML

#21181
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28526) - you deserved it (3695)

On 02/10/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by greattt (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, it was the first day of fall break from college, and I was really excited to sleep in and relax the entire weekend. Apparently my boss caught wind of my happiness and scheduled me 8am-2pm each day of break, "seeing how I don't have anything else to do." FML

#5851790
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31389) - you deserved it (3695)

On 10/16/2009 at 2:22pm - work - by cbrocks (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my brother and I got in a fight and he told my friends that I am mentally disabled. They believed him. Apparently, "everything makes sense now." FML

#6730698
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30310) - you deserved it (3695)

On 12/12/2009 at 11:39pm - misc - by Normal (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I called my boyfriend's job to ask him a question. His co-worker answered the phone, and when I asked for my boyfriend, he assumed I was someone else. Who exactly would that someone else be? FML

#14238369
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26397) - you deserved it (3695)

On 12/17/2010 at 7:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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