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Today, I was excited to start my new job. It was only when I was leaving after a long 8 hour day did I realize all of the personal documents I had I brought in for paperwork had been stolen. I am now down a passport, social security card, and wallet. Great first day. FML

#9123169
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23333) - you deserved it (3095)

On 03/16/2010 at 1:19am - work - by evenpoorer (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I found out that my employers hired me under the assumption that I was gay. Apparently, they are attempting to be perceived as more open-minded. I'm not gay, but I'm afraid being straight could cost me my job. FML

#12872316
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32639) - you deserved it (3094)

On 09/02/2010 at 5:09pm - work - by confused (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to me and uttered two words: "Nice pooper." FML

#9097770
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18865) - you deserved it (3094)

On 03/15/2010 at 5:14am - intimacy - by shygurl434 - United States (Alaska)

Today, my ex fiancée, who left me six months ago, asked if I'd mind if she used the wedding dress I bought her for our wedding. She's just gotten engaged again. FML

#15604755
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36974) - you deserved it (3094)

On 04/02/2011 at 12:44pm - love - by Jon (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML

#18364433
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37592) - you deserved it (3094)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, we had our whole staff photo. We all had to stand up in rows in height order, as I'm tall I had to stand in the middle, at the back. I'm horribly claustrophobic and ended up fainting in front of 100 colleagues, taking down 4 people around me. FML

#19144680
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22145) - you deserved it (3094)

On 02/23/2012 at 7:11am - work - by photofaint - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35302) - you deserved it (3094)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, a friend convinced me that I should throw a big party and invite everyone to come. After fixing a ton of party food, I sat around and waited for my guests to arrive. No one did. FML

#6390668
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31431) - you deserved it (3093)

On 11/21/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by tealsoda (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it was my one year anniversary with my boyfriend. We had dinner reservations to an expensive restaurant and planned to see a movie after. At least, we did, until he called to tell me he'd volunteered to work tonight. He won't get off until 2am. FML

#8824480
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22190) - you deserved it (3093)

On 03/04/2010 at 3:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML

#9015230
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28528) - you deserved it (3093)

On 03/12/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by ugh - United States

Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML

#17962463
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28654) - you deserved it (3093)

On 10/11/2011 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by dinosaucer - United States (Delaware)

Today, I discovered that my wife actually encourages my three year-old son to sleep in our bed, as a buffer against any romantic advances. FML

#19887553
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32293) - you deserved it (3093)

On 07/03/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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