Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a little girl wandered into the glass-cleaning area of the pub I work at. It's a dangerous place for a little kid, so I took her hand and asked where her mum was. The kid starts screaming and the mother appears in the doorway shouting "GET AWAY FROM MY BABY!" FML

#15967561
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31586) - you deserved it (3127)

On 04/28/2011 at 7:13pm - work - by srsly_what (man) - United Kingdom (North Yorkshire)

Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML

#18049088
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30110) - you deserved it (3127)

On 10/22/2011 at 9:02pm - misc - by pretty_coin - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML

#20509000
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32943) - you deserved it (3127)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03am - kids - by Scarlett (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, some girl's mom gave me a load of abuse for endangering her daughter's health. How? By deleting my Facebook account, which caused her to have a serious panic attack. Apparently she thought we were best friends, and that I was ditching her. I'm confused too. FML

#21149491
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42671) - you deserved it (3127)

On 05/23/2014 at 6:44pm - misc - by nikaea (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I told my physiotherapist a funny story. She got so entertained that she started giggling and twisted my broken arm. The pain was worse than when it broke in the first place. FML

#21251280
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31935) - you deserved it (3127)

On 09/03/2014 at 5:30pm - health - by svenska75 (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

#16474078
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44181) - you deserved it (3126)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had my first orgasm. I also came to the realization that whenever I orgasm I get an uncontrollable case of hiccups for at least half an hour afterwards. FML

#20145633
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27730) - you deserved it (3126)

On 11/03/2012 at 11:52am - intimacy - by hiccups - United States (New York)

Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML

#20679293
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41753) - you deserved it (3126)

On 05/22/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by SadPuppy - United States

Today, the family I live with decided that beer is a more important purchase than the things we need, such as detergent, soap, and toilet paper, just to name a few things. Apparently, paper towels should suffice. FML

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

#4081805
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61941) - you deserved it (3125)

On 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm - misc - by webperson04 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML

#17248199
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36345) - you deserved it (3125)

On 07/25/2011 at 12:14am - health - by sisi9999 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my fiancé and I broke up, and he won't answer my calls or texts. I don't want him back; he has my dog. FML

#19702811
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28153) - you deserved it (3125)

On 05/30/2012 at 1:25am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my 10 year old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

#1565
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20759) - you deserved it (3124)

On 01/18/2009 at 9:30am - kids - by NVP - United States (Ohio)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: