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Today, we got our family pictures back from the printers. I complained to my mom about the ones she picked. "Oh don't worry," she said. "I had them photoshop out your gut." I was talking about my smile. FML

#7292547
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21097) - you deserved it (3274)

On 01/12/2010 at 12:11am - misc - by Me (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I found out my girlfriend and her best friend compare the dumps they take to common transportation. They comment about it on each others facebook page. My girlfriend's last one was apparently a 'coach bus'. FML

#7600232
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20671) - you deserved it (3273)

On 01/26/2010 at 10:14pm - health - by poops - United States

Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML

#9015230
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30470) - you deserved it (3273)

On 03/12/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by ugh - United States

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML

#8994102
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22293) - you deserved it (3273)

On 03/11/2010 at 9:44am - health - by captainkevineff - United States

Today, my husband has decided to grow a mullet. FML

#19799986
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27348) - you deserved it (3273)

On 06/17/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by flyingpuppy - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I ran into a former co-worker who I hadn't seen in years. She was raving at how I hadn't aged a bit, but before I could thank her she said, "But, you know, chubby people age better." FML

#20492811
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26661) - you deserved it (3273)

On 02/04/2013 at 7:17am - work - by Colleen Nichols - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 50-year-old dad was in a foul mood after taking an online test that put him in Slytherin house instead of Ravenclaw where he "belongs" because he's "so smart". FML

#20849955
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37571) - you deserved it (3273)

On 08/22/2013 at 9:38pm - misc - by thanksad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my co-workers don't actually like me when they changed the hangout spot after accidentally inviting me. FML

#21230545
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35492) - you deserved it (3273)

On 08/05/2014 at 11:35pm - work - by ditched - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided to have cereal for breakfast. I poured the cereal in the bowl, added the milk and had a spoonful. Then I realized that my cereal was moving in the back of my mouth. FML

#21374137
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30957) - you deserved it (3273)

On 03/13/2015 at 11:27pm - misc - by Eddy (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had an hour-long massage, meditated for while and was finally feeling good. Then I had to call an ambulance for my idiot father who had managed to get alcohol poisoning. FML

#15062503
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27399) - you deserved it (3272)

On 02/21/2011 at 5:22am - misc - by meme71 -

Today, I had the pleasure of driving in central London for the first time, to recover my drunk husband from his own brilliance, puking on the feet of Winston Churchill's statue in Parliament Square. At 4 am. FML

#20944193
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37085) - you deserved it (3272)

On 11/03/2013 at 5:53pm - love - by I am not amused! (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I found out that, after having moved over 500 miles to begin a post-graduate degree, I'm being kicked out of the house I'm renting. We haven't yet signed agreements. Apparently I "keep the kitchen too clean". FML

#21097212
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37885) - you deserved it (3272)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:45pm - work - by homeless - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me over some rumors he heard about me. These rumors are from high-school, seven years ago. FML

#21297338
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35866) - you deserved it (3272)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:31pm - love - by ugh - United States (Tennessee)



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