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Today, I found out the "small termite problem" the inspector told me about wasn't so small when a box from the attic fell through the floor and hit me in the head. FML

#12697631
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22191) - you deserved it (2482)

On 08/23/2010 at 5:03am - health - by concusion - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at my job as a bartender where I had to listen to a 40-something man with no legs drunkenly explain just how much he loves nipples. FML

#18422045
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21197) - you deserved it (2482)

On 12/03/2011 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by sugarbeet - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

#20113997
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30443) - you deserved it (2482)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML

#14396481
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36115) - you deserved it (2481)

On 12/30/2010 at 2:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, the heat rash that has been devouring my side for the last week was revealed to be something much worse: shingles. FML

#17300096
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27088) - you deserved it (2481)

On 07/29/2011 at 5:40pm - health - by ivannooze - United States

Today, my aunt and uncle stole $584 from me, since I'm moving out. Their reasoning? I stole things. When I asked what I'd stolen, my aunt looked me straight in the eye and said "Milk Duds." FML

#17566014
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26776) - you deserved it (2481)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:03am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the highlight of my day was when I found that there was finally toilet paper in the cubicle at work. FML

#20563464
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24133) - you deserved it (2481)

On 03/28/2013 at 5:57am - work - by Paperboy (man) - Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego)

Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML

#20881873
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37917) - you deserved it (2481)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by sleeplessinrichmond - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my mom isn't coming to see me for Christmas. Instead she'll be spending it in jail for a DUI and battery. Thank you to my cocklick of an aunt for taking a recovering alcoholic to a bar and pressuring her into relapse. FML

#21003791
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42175) - you deserved it (2481)

On 12/24/2013 at 3:48pm - misc - by jhulich (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, as my boyfriend was trying to convince me that he was not having an affair with another woman named Julie, he looked me in the eye and exclaimed, "I would never cheat on you, I love you more than anything, Julie". FML

#13222
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43393) - you deserved it (2480)

On 02/07/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by princesspea (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my little 7 and 6 year old cousins came visit my family home. I heard the oldest one say that my sister was nice and pretty. Then the youngest replied "Yeah, but the older one has the face of a murderer." FML

#4175407
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35140) - you deserved it (2480)

On 07/31/2009 at 12:01am - kids - by BadMurderer (woman) - Mexico (Tabasco)

Today, I was in the change room at the local YMCA. I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a naked old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimed at the dryer. He seemed to be enjoying it. FML

#216994
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46558) - you deserved it (2480)

On 03/05/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by nuberific (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend opened the car door in a very kind and loving way. What wasn't so kind and loving was that my hand was still half-way when he closed it. FML

#17407697
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19902) - you deserved it (2480)

On 08/08/2011 at 2:11pm - health - by oops (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)



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