Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her: "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home with no shopping. FML

#21352119
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45036) - you deserved it (3400)

On 02/08/2015 at 2:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I had to get my hair chopped off for a role that I'm playing in a show. I was staring at the floor while the woman cut my hair, and I suddenly heard her start crying. Her tears were immediately followed by "It's okay! I have a friend in New York who can fix it. We won't charge you." FML

#267715
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76034) - you deserved it (3399)

On 03/11/2009 at 1:21am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my Mum has spent the money she's been saving for my wedding on moving house. She called saving for a wedding for me a 'pointless cause' as it's probably never going to happen now. I'm only 22. FML

#14552132
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25829) - you deserved it (3399)

On 01/12/2011 at 8:14am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months got upset and frustrated with me because he had yet to meet my mom. I'd told him on our first date that she passed away 4 years ago. FML

#20736145
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52663) - you deserved it (3399)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, at my job as a fast food manager, I saw one of my employees "trying to pick the bugs out" of our cookies. They were the raisins in them. FML

#21234756
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37244) - you deserved it (3399)

On 08/11/2014 at 10:18am - work - by mcmanager - United States (California)

Today, I found out why the parents whose children I babysit use me so often and on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because their kids hate me, and me being around is their way of punishing them. FML

#20541928
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34046) - you deserved it (3398)

On 03/13/2013 at 10:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my superstitious girlfriend of 4 years sneezed in the middle of my proposal. She claimed it was a sign from the universe for us to break up and then immediately left. FML

#20550300
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44893) - you deserved it (3398)

On 03/19/2013 at 12:40am - love - by lanz4949 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after being nearly homeless and couch-hopping for the last few months, I finally signed a 1-year lease. When I got home, I was surprised to see a picture of my new complex on the front page of the newspaper. It turns out that they are fighting a serious bedbug infestation. FML

#20633909
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42082) - you deserved it (3398)

On 04/30/2013 at 10:50pm - misc - by creepycrawley247 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a cute, new guy I always run into at work hit on me. Turns out he's only 18. I'm old enough to be his mom. FML

#21399135
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26790) - you deserved it (3398)

On 04/24/2015 at 5:46pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after two hours, I finally got my very cranky, sick baby to fall asleep. Five minutes later, a neighbor started shooting off fireworks. FML

#11614561
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38042) - you deserved it (3397)

On 07/02/2010 at 3:29pm - kids - by yrfavweapon - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML

#19281835
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30785) - you deserved it (3397)

On 03/15/2012 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML

#20137933
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27787) - you deserved it (3397)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by becca (woman) - United States

Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML

#21361049
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30540) - you deserved it (3397)

On 02/22/2015 at 1:21pm - money - by HaliMali (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: