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Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML

#18508427
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53069) - you deserved it (3215)

On 12/14/2011 at 12:15am - love - by newlysingle (man) - United States

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

#19342755
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29802) - you deserved it (3215)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:49am - animals - by uh-oh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend started a huge fight with me over how I don't have the right to have close female friends anymore. She ended up storming off, and won't return my calls. But no worries: she did just play the word "murder" in our game of Words With Friends. Very comforting. FML

Today, I met my boyfriend's grandma for the first time. Trying to make a good impression, I offered to wash the dishes. I accidentally broke the faucet. FML

#19994302
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22017) - you deserved it (3215)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:28am - misc - by gmd05 (woman) - United States

Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML

#20833620
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47466) - you deserved it (3215)

On 08/12/2013 at 11:24am - health - by nutfreak (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while showering in my dorm, a hand reaches through the curtain and grabs my ass. I hit the person on the other side of the curtain. He opened the curtain thinking that I was his girlfriend. He apologized and he had sex with his girlfriend in the shower stall next to me. FML

#268539
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70374) - you deserved it (3214)

On 03/11/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom went to a psychic. The reason? She has convinced herself that I'm gay, even though I've told her that I'm not and never have been. The psychic disagreed. Apparently, I'm bicurious with one of my guy friends. Guess who my mom believes? FML

#3137659
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52501) - you deserved it (3214)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to a huge rock concert. While waiting in a half a mile long line to get in, I passed out due to the heat. I regained consciousness to hear about a hundred people yelling and trying to help me. My boyfriend, who I went with, was not one of them. FML

#4193534
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42672) - you deserved it (3214)

On 07/31/2009 at 10:35pm - health - by passedoutpolly (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the Salvation Army to donate some clothes. As I was handing over the 4 huge bags that I had carried for 10 blocks, while 6 months pregnant, somebody stole my purse. FML

#14211022
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38235) - you deserved it (3214)

On 12/15/2010 at 6:58am - misc - by mugged (woman) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, it's been three weeks since my dad finished growing what he calls a "Jesus beard" and gone out asking for donations and claiming to be Jesus Christ. I've been trying and failing to get a job for 2 years, and he's already raking in cash from gullible idiots. FML

#21247834
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36392) - you deserved it (3214)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML

#21315591
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27386) - you deserved it (3214)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm - kids - by MedStudent90 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got demoted at my job. Instead of working with patients, they want me to file. The thing is, I'm a volunteer; I work for them for free. FML

#1523
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18589) - you deserved it (3213)

On 01/17/2009 at 10:44pm - work - by wasted_life - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I discovered the worst possible situation in which to get explosive diarrhea: on a 9-hour transatlantic flight. Next to an attractive single guy. FML

#1094822
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64587) - you deserved it (3213)

On 04/18/2009 at 7:11pm - health - by crapgirl (woman) - United States (New York)



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