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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my daughter managed to crash my car. It's okay though, the insurance will cover it. However, it won't cover all the items she damaged crashing into a garage sale. FML

#20856229
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38008) - you deserved it (3058)

On 08/27/2013 at 6:17am - kids - by Idontknowwhattodo (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I got back from our honeymoon and we saw his mom's car in front of our house. When we walked in she asked us so many questions about our trip. The first question she asked my husband was, "Were you satisfied with her in bed?" FML

#1625692
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59478) - you deserved it (3057)

On 05/04/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by Jess (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I took my 8 year old nephew to Laser Tag for his birthday party. I reluctantly was forced into playing one game. Apparently, no one explained the rules to one child and instead of 'shooting' me with his laser pointer, he kicked me straight in the balls. FML

#7694418
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26805) - you deserved it (3058)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:40am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was eating with my grandma and her sister, who don't get along. I went to the bathroom for just 2 minutes, only to come back to find pancakes everywhere and our plates smashed on the ground. They got into a "little argument". FML

#20835313
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39228) - you deserved it (3057)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, a man at the comic book store I work at asked me if Spider-Man is based on a real story, and verbally abused me when, thinking he was joking, I laughed. He wasn't. FML

#20887394
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33981) - you deserved it (3057)

On 09/19/2013 at 1:35am - work - by some people... - United States

Today, a guy took me out on a date. His imaginary friends joined us. FML

#21244154
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38440) - you deserved it (3057)

On 08/24/2014 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I broke my dominant hand. My teacher insists we hand-write our essays. I called and asked if it was okay for me to type up the essays. She said no. I have two essays due tomorrow, which count for half my grade. FML

#7545695
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29349) - you deserved it (3056)

On 01/24/2010 at 2:29pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML

#14742735
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31522) - you deserved it (3056)

On 01/28/2011 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by bittenbyadonkey (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I found out the reason I can't get a job. My previous employer didn't know my name, so when places I applied to called there for a reference, my boss said he had no recollection of me working there. FML

#11010469
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28701) - you deserved it (3056)

On 06/06/2010 at 1:36pm - work - by duko3000 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend, when along comes a sweet old lady who says: "it's not flowers she wants, it's some lovin'!". The elderly sure aren't what they used to be. FML

#449
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22160) - you deserved it (3055)

On 12/04/2008 at 6:16am - misc - by DarkPhoenix - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year old son. He wriggled away and said: "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or find another Simon!" FML

#697
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26743) - you deserved it (3055)

On 01/03/2009 at 10:55pm - kids - by sly - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML

#61591
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45179) - you deserved it (3055)

On 02/17/2009 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by jons (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend, and best friend, had baked a cake, and wouldnt tell anyone who it was for. When I asked he said I'd know soon. He met me after class to break up with me and offered me the cake to make me feel better. FML

#915379
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63606) - you deserved it (3055)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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