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Today, I overheard my parents planning on how to get me to move out of the house. It's my house. They only came to visit and forgot to leave. FML

#17668711
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34811) - you deserved it (2500)

On 09/05/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was partnered up with a girl in my art class, since the teacher had asked us to take turns drawing portraits of each other. I went first and felt pretty proud of how the drawing turned out. I showed it to her and she said "That's OK. I'm not good at drawing either." FML

#20494244
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23269) - you deserved it (2500)

On 02/05/2013 at 8:09am - work - by picasso - United States

Today, while training a new employee, I had to run after a naked guy chasing a hooker at the hotel I work at. I made him go back to his room, while she offered me a good time for 300 bucks. The trainee left and hasn't come back yet. FML

#20849812
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36209) - you deserved it (2500)

On 08/22/2013 at 7:50pm - work - by Awkward - United States

Today, I met a girl who had a deeper voice than I do. FML

#2119
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13945) - you deserved it (2499)

On 01/21/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by Daryll - United States (California)

Today, my sister went into early labor. Instead of telling me, my mom turns to my dog and says "Guess what? You're going to be an uncle!" Our new dog ranks higher than me in our family's metaphorical food chain. FML

#4726515
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27005) - you deserved it (2499)

On 08/22/2009 at 1:39am - animals - by bigscarypuppy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while working my shift at Taco Bell, a creepy guy started flirting with me. He said, "You remind me of something," acting as if I knew him from elsewhere. I quickly said I used to work at Chili's. He shook his head and said, "No, not a person! An animal. A sloth maybe." FML

#20533458
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24678) - you deserved it (2499)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:19pm - work - by SlothyMolly - United States

Today, I was at a family meeting about opening up a business. During it, I had an allergic reaction and my throat began to close. Nobody tried to help. In fact, pictures were taken. FML

Today, the two and a half hours it took our poorly air conditioned taxi to go 20 miles in stop-and-go traffic was highlighted by our son projectile vomiting all over my wife, a suitcase, and the car. It ended with me having to pay both for the ride, as well as for cleaning the inside of the taxi. FML

#3834940
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33717) - you deserved it (2498)

On 07/17/2009 at 4:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I found out that my friends were convinced that I was gay. I have known most of them for 3 plus years, they all thought my girlfriend was a special shopping partner. I found this out while announcing my engagement. FML

#6580015
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26913) - you deserved it (2498)

On 12/03/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was forced to look on in utter horror as an old lady backed out of her parking space, kept going well past the turning point, and slammed straight into my car, putting a dent in the front and shattering the headlights. FML

#15566356
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22909) - you deserved it (2498)

On 03/30/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by JFC! (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while teaching my high school class about astronomy, I showed them a picture of earth from space. One girl raised her hand, and asked me what the "white things" were. In other words, clouds. FML

#17757259
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22564) - you deserved it (2498)

On 09/16/2011 at 10:42am - kids - by Smart - United States

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

#19072659
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32866) - you deserved it (2498)

On 02/14/2012 at 9:29am - love - by Illinoisgirl - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I woke up to a text from my mother-in-law saying, "Happy birthday! I hope you have great birthday sex!" I'm now afraid to go over there for dinner tonight. FML

#19484491
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22017) - you deserved it (2498)

On 04/17/2012 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)



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