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Today, I told my boyfriend that it's time for him to stop blaming others and own up to his mistakes. He retorted, "Don't blame me!" FML

#21288212
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30863) - you deserved it (3700)

On 10/30/2014 at 3:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, while on my graveyard shift at an inner-city backpackers lodge, a drunk pissed in a dorm at 4am. I had to clean up after him, wash all the luggage that got dowsed, clean up 2 separate piles of puke, and help 3 drunken Brits back to their room while they abused me. I have a science degree. FML

#8468411
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28182) - you deserved it (3699)

On 02/20/2010 at 2:29am - work - by underachiever (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, one of my usually unpleasant managers offered me a slice of cheese cake for doing a good job. I declined, but after some pestering on his part I finally accepted it. I have been violently ill for the past 2 hours. FML

#14279972
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30783) - you deserved it (3699)

On 12/21/2010 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, the man of my dreams kissed me. It was everything I had imagined it would be until in the middle of the kiss, he burped. FML

#18991007
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31012) - you deserved it (3699)

On 02/04/2012 at 9:52am - love - by ac-hoo (woman) - India (Delhi)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. I told my boyfriend and my close family, who were all ecstatic. Then he told his mother. Her reaction? "It better come out looking like him." FML

Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML

#3364803
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57841) - you deserved it (3698)

On 06/30/2009 at 12:17pm - kids - by lebanesewoman (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, it was my birthday, and my boyfriend got surgery on his gallbladder because he had big gallstones. After they were removed, he was still a little out of it from the morphine. He gave the gallstones to me for my birthday. Better still, his mom suggested I make a necklace out of them. FML

#3603411
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52457) - you deserved it (3698)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:02am - love - by gallstones (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after a nap, I went to scratch my eye and felt what I presumed to be a clump of mascara on my eyelash. I didn't wear mascara today. It was a tick. FML

#2213407
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58284) - you deserved it (3698)

On 05/23/2009 at 3:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at work, a man bought a lot of really expensive stuff. He paid the large bill with cash, and the manager helped me count the money. When we were done, he handed me a $100 bill to thank me for all the help. We can't accept tips. The manager was next to me. I had to say no. FML

#4451238
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68992) - you deserved it (3698)

On 08/11/2009 at 1:57pm - work - by aw-wtf (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML

#8506785
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24352) - you deserved it (3698)

On 02/21/2010 at 3:19am - intimacy - by horny21 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out the hard way what it sounds like when you take the first letter of my first name, A, and put it with my last name, Hole. FML

#18533442
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26100) - you deserved it (3698)

On 12/17/2011 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML

#17617939
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31279) - you deserved it (3698)

On 08/30/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I confessed to my co-worker that I've secretly loved him for months. He laughed hysterically for about a minute straight before shaking his head and excusing himself from the store. Even the fact that my boss fired him for leaving early isn't cheering me up. FML

#19965538
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23711) - you deserved it (3698)

On 07/20/2012 at 9:59pm - love - by Alanis (woman) - United States



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