Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that the person sending me secret love letters was actually my dad, who felt sorry for me. FML

#6564625
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47080) - you deserved it (3325)

On 12/02/2009 at 3:51am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML

#12080410
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27588) - you deserved it (3325)

On 07/24/2010 at 3:44am - misc - by earths_venus - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I learned the only job that actually wants me is as a peanut butter factory worker. I've been unemployed for 9 months. I'm also allergic to nuts. FML

#15931079
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30792) - you deserved it (3325)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:49am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my aunt borrowed my favorite shirt. Don't worry, she returned it. Complete with jizz stains. FML

#20024649
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34639) - you deserved it (3325)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by itwasmyfavoriteshirt - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I climbed the tree in my backyard so I could cut off some stray branches. I ended up getting stuck, and instead of immediately getting help, my wife started laughing and recording me. The video is now circulating on Facebook, and my new nickname is "Hawkeye." FML

#20029971
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18434) - you deserved it (3325)

On 08/19/2012 at 2:09pm - misc - by spasticock (man) - Portugal (Setubal)

Today, I moved fifteen stacks of bricks from our store to a customer's van. After I made all that effort, he decided he didn't like the colour of the bricks after all, and demanded a full refund. FML

#21197488
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45621) - you deserved it (3325)

On 07/03/2014 at 3:49pm - misc - by starflares (man) - Denmark (Centre)

Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML

#21242612
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34088) - you deserved it (3325)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by ReluctantAntEater (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that the medicated eye drops I have been taking to fight a mild eye infection show up under black lights when I walked into a party and the whole left side of my face was glowing. FML

#4763685
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30205) - you deserved it (3324)

On 08/23/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by SummerGirl0009 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found why exactly my clothes always seemed more stretched out after about a week of owning them. My mom steals and wears them when she goes clubbing. My mom is 46, twice my size, and gets out more than me. FML

#4359273
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40283) - you deserved it (3324)

On 08/07/2009 at 11:31am - misc - by Crazyyyymomentsss (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after recently moving to America as I've always dreamt of, I saw my first, majestic deer. My boyfriend slammed it with the rental car. FML

#18400487
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26935) - you deserved it (3324)

On 12/01/2011 at 12:41am - misc - by AmericanDream (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I ordered food at McDonald's. I'm on crutches, and a guy offered to carry my tray to the table. He rushed out with my food. FML

#18070361
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38853) - you deserved it (3324)

On 10/25/2011 at 4:17am - misc - by myownperson - United States (Colorado)

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I had left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

#20129867
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19435) - you deserved it (3324)

On 10/23/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by nicedoggy (woman) - United States (Missouri)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: