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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML

#20053776
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26915) - you deserved it (3142)

On 09/02/2012 at 8:44am - love - by rotezora (woman) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

#20174725
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22766) - you deserved it (3141)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML

#20991671
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39808) - you deserved it (3141)

On 12/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by thank u usa (man) - Germany

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

#21290313
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35450) - you deserved it (3141)

On 11/02/2014 at 6:28am - health - by smellyhair - United Kingdom

Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

#14656161
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23040) - you deserved it (3140)

On 01/20/2011 at 10:55pm - health - by Username -

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

#18758727
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65326) - you deserved it (3140)

On 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by fuckparents (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, 60 guests for my wedding were supposed to arrive to the Bahamas. The first and only hurricane of the season decided to crash my wedding, stranding my mom, maid of honor and best man. No one will be able to attend my wedding, except the other drunken hotel guests. FML

#20133630
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20579) - you deserved it (3140)

On 10/25/2012 at 11:58pm - misc - by sadbride - Bahamas (New Providence)

Today, my grandpa moved into the house to live with my family. Along with having to share a room with him, he swears that having the AC on will give him pneumonia, and he keeps saying he's "freezing" when the temperature inside gets below 85. We live in Nevada. FML

#20656847
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41884) - you deserved it (3140)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I couldn't sleep due to an awful head cold, so I stayed home from work. Apparently, the local high school marching band practices in the park across the street at 9am. They're doing the Imperial March music from Star Wars. They suck. FML

#20867437
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40299) - you deserved it (3140)

On 09/04/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by lostinspace (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a family get-together for my birthday. I got to watch all my family members get piss-drunk and argue over who's having the worst time. FML

#20971273
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37433) - you deserved it (3140)

On 11/26/2013 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that while I see a therapist for my trust issues, my husband sleeps with our nanny. FML

#13885002
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39106) - you deserved it (3139)

On 11/18/2010 at 4:23am - intimacy - by nevergonnatrust -

Today, my mother noticed that I hadn't taken the trash out in a few weeks and angry, piled various full trash bags on my bed. I've been away on holiday for the past three weeks, I guess she didn't notice that part. FML

#15195848
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31466) - you deserved it (3139)

On 03/04/2011 at 11:25am - misc - by carr (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, one of my really close friends changed from being 'free' to 'quite busy' in the space of one conversation because I suggested that we hang out. FML

#15870197
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25575) - you deserved it (3139)

On 04/21/2011 at 4:33am - misc - by gutted (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)



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