Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I confiscated a 1st grader's cell phone. It was better than anything I could come close to affording. FML

#21256659
154 comments

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me because we are different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML

#6778697
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42088) - you deserved it (3332)

On 12/16/2009 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML

#8448273
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20495) - you deserved it (3332)

On 02/19/2010 at 5:00pm - health - by lexiiiiiiweee - United States

Today, I was taking a nap in our country house. I was sick with a fever of 101.3. When I woke up, I see that my family had left to go back to the apartment. They forgot me. FML

#16543151
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34320) - you deserved it (3332)

On 06/07/2011 at 6:27am - misc - by Sickinbed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

#21234388
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35152) - you deserved it (3332)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor. I told her I felt down all the time. She asked me a few questions and she told me I was depressed. She suggested to go home and find the sources of my depression. When I told my parents, they started laughing and said "Yeah, right." I think I found my source. FML

#3429206
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48569) - you deserved it (3331)

On 07/02/2009 at 3:49pm - health - by farrahfarrest_ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went for a job interview on my birthday. I had on a shirt and a tie on and I had my Blackberry in my pocket. I was running a little late, so I dashed outside. When I came out of the door, a bunch of my buddies screamed HAPPY BIRTHDAY! and poured Gatorade all over me. FML

#227236
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54227) - you deserved it (3331)

On 03/06/2009 at 4:24pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML

#5872159
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43333) - you deserved it (3332)

On 10/17/2009 at 10:25pm - love - by userrrrr - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML

#4156027
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55735) - you deserved it (3331)

On 07/30/2009 at 7:34am - kids - by Herdad (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I saw my neighbor of twelve years at the grocery store. Being friendly, I went over to say hello. After I did, she responded by saying that she didn't know me but I look familiar. Finally, she remembered why I'm familiar saying that I look like the dorky guy from Two and a Half Men. FML

#16294249
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27728) - you deserved it (3331)

On 05/22/2011 at 8:18am - misc - by Greig - United States (Ohio)

Today, I confessed to my co-worker that I've secretly loved him for months. He laughed hysterically for about a minute straight before shaking his head and excusing himself from the store. Even the fact that my boss fired him for leaving early isn't cheering me up. FML

#19965538
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20709) - you deserved it (3331)

On 07/20/2012 at 9:59pm - love - by Alanis (woman) - United States

Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML

#20627067
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62463) - you deserved it (3331)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by wtfisgoingon (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, at the age of 23, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. My father swabbed his mouth for DNA and fingerprinted him. FML



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: