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Today, someone came over and told my mother, "I'm your son's friend Morris, I need to get something out of his car", so she gave him the keys. I have no friend called Morris, and now I don't have a sound system either. FML

#17266001
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36692) - you deserved it (2982)

On 07/26/2011 at 9:35am - misc - by ceetee - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took my girlfriend out to eat at a diner where my friend works. My friend was our waiter but too busy to talk much. He texted me after we'd left to tell me that my girlfriend had slipped him her number. FML

#20894038
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48954) - you deserved it (2982)

On 09/24/2013 at 3:15am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML

#20916778
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39954) - you deserved it (2982)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:44pm - health - by jnisla (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boss found out that my girlfriend dumped me. He asked if that meant she would no longer bring her delicious homemade cookies to the office. When I said yes, he fired me on the spot. FML

#20990683
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47042) - you deserved it (2982)

On 12/12/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by justin (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML

#20175626
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26179) - you deserved it (2981)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by jakeson12 - United Kingdom (Dundee City)

Today, I called my mother to tell her that I got engaged. In the 15 minute conversation that followed, 13 were spent listening to how this is going to affect her. FML

#20665269
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40390) - you deserved it (2981)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I opened up to my parents about my depression. Their response was to have a very heated discussion about whose fault it was. FML

#20929825
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38956) - you deserved it (2981)

On 10/22/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, I received a pair of earrings, a necklace, and some rings as a Christmas gift from my grandma. This would have been nice if I weren't a guy. This is her way of mocking me for wearing what she calls "girl colors", such as white. FML

#21004875
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37842) - you deserved it (2981)

On 12/25/2013 at 12:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a missed call from my dad, who hasn't talked to me in months and has vowed not to have anything to do with me. I called him back excitedly and apologized for missing his call, and we had a 20-second conversation about how his phone accidentally dialed my number. FML

#886706
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60678) - you deserved it (2980)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

#6098895
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33453) - you deserved it (2980)

On 11/01/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by WasteOfTime (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I found out that my best friend's mom doesn't wear pyjamas when I got up to go get a glass of water in the middle of the night, at the same time she did. FML

#13204621
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22882) - you deserved it (2980)

On 09/26/2010 at 1:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

#13300598
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21501) - you deserved it (2980)

On 10/03/2010 at 5:35am - animals - by andrea99 - United States

Today, my mom gave me the "birds and the bees" talk, while she was taking a dump. FML

#17172362
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31470) - you deserved it (2980)

On 07/19/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by KidCudi227 - United States (Arizona)



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