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Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

#20116347
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22654) - you deserved it (3066)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States

Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML

#19738484
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27401) - you deserved it (3066)

On 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by why... (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML

#20505216
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39930) - you deserved it (3066)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by okay then (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my taxi driver kept falling asleep and swerving off the road, so I asked him if he was okay. He stopped and burst out sobbing about the long hours he had to do after his divorce and his wife taking all he had. Long story short, I ended up driving him home and getting a taxi from his place. FML

#21273346
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38154) - you deserved it (3066)

On 10/08/2014 at 5:01am - misc - by rockytrolley - Cyprus

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML

#7870417
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22083) - you deserved it (3065)

On 02/04/2010 at 3:40am - health - by littlespoon (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, someone gave me a note to pass along to a girl in class. The note had the girl's name surrounded by hearts. When I gave it to her, she assumed it was a love note from me, and said "Not in a million years, fat ass" before I could say it was from someone else. FML

#8568837
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30607) - you deserved it (3065)

On 02/22/2010 at 9:46pm - love - by Crappyfayman (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my friends and I rented a party bus, which broke down on the highway 45 minutes into the ride. I paid the guy for the whole four hours. He said he was going to flag down a car to get someone to help us. We saw him get into a car and leave. FML

#17253464
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27634) - you deserved it (3065)

On 07/25/2011 at 12:08pm - money - by tim12345 - United States

Today, my dog threw up on my bed while I was sleeping. I lost an hour of the day washing the vomit out with a rag, and my garbage disposal jammed on whatever otherworldly things my dog ate the day before. I had to dig it out by hand. FML

#19123444
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19371) - you deserved it (3065)

On 02/20/2012 at 2:39pm - animals - by good_gravy (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I opened the door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

#20455625
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31250) - you deserved it (3065)

On 01/12/2013 at 5:02pm - misc - by fucking mafia or what?? (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after I had changed my number to get away from my abusive ex, my mom decided to give him my new one. She insists that I need to give him another chance. FML

#20556707
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50595) - you deserved it (3065)

On 03/23/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I got a promotion and transfer at work. My first responsibility is to fire my soon to be father in-law. FML

#20708889
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56445) - you deserved it (3065)

On 06/06/2013 at 1:08am - work - by hesgonnahateme - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. I have been getting explicit texts and phone calls so I just joking said to my friend, "I think someone wrote my number on a bathroom stall." At which point he said, "Sorry, I didn't think people really called those numbers." FML

#5227356
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38789) - you deserved it (3065)

On 09/13/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by Casden (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boyfriend accidentally called me from his pocket. I thought it would be funny to see what him and his friends were talking about. I laughed when I heard him talking about us fooling around until I realized it wasn't me. FML

#5839151
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32079) - you deserved it (3064)

On 10/15/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Em - Sent from mobile version



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