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Today, I discovered that the more money I earn, the more my personal belongings break down on me. FML

#17274904
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22506) - you deserved it (2508)

On 07/27/2011 at 12:05am - money - by talwin (man) - Reserved

Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML

#20163953
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29005) - you deserved it (2508)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by WentInABush (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my older brother thought it would be hilarious to sneak up and scare me in the grocery aisle at the store. I screamed and jumped, knocking half the shelf's contents all over the floor. We're now banned from the only grocery store in town. FML

#20166242
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19834) - you deserved it (2508)

On 11/17/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by sarahhbear - United States (Texas)

Today, an elderly gentleman came into my store complaining of a toothache, so I showed him where the Orajel was located. He then insisted on making a big scene, claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. FML

#20464379
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26499) - you deserved it (2508)

On 01/17/2013 at 11:57am - work - by lifebecrazed (woman) -

Today, my superior gave me a box of ethernet cables which were previously attached to mainframes storing classified data. He requested I cut them in half so that the residual data would leak out. Not only does this guy make twice my salary, there was no convincing him otherwise. We cut them up. FML

Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML

#17906392
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26690) - you deserved it (2507)

On 10/04/2011 at 8:14pm - love - by Nickolas Neffster - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had to go to the hospital for an allergic reaction. Turns out, I'm highly allergic to cherry blossoms. My wife and I just bought a house and moved into a new neighborhood. Almost every block in this neighborhood, including my own, has rows and rows of cherry blossom trees. FML

#20628272
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38151) - you deserved it (2507)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:10pm - health - by verycherryfucked (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I received a lovely letter from the council telling me I have to cease the act of "breeding and selling cats" because someone from my Facebook reported me. I'm pretty sure I've never owned a cat or had one in my house. FML

#20764172
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39316) - you deserved it (2507)

On 07/04/2013 at 10:26pm - misc - by suspicious (woman) - United States

Today, I was sitting at my favorite coffee shop, when a creepy 50-ish looking guy sat at my table. He asked if I'm into submissive guys, and if I wanted to dominate him. I'm a 17-year-old girl, and am now scared to ever go back there. FML

#20754256
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42603) - you deserved it (2507)

On 06/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by perdix??? (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, I was in line at the store behind a lady and her young daughter. Trying to be polite I smiled at the little girl. She burst into tears asking her mommy 'what is wrong with that ladies teeth'. Apparently braces on a 25 year old is not 'kid friendly'. FML

#6221644
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22638) - you deserved it (2506)

On 11/08/2009 at 11:37pm - kids - by itsjustmyluck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while flying on American Airlines back from visiting family, a new born puked its breakfast all over my HP mini, knocked my orange juice ino my lap, and than coughed up another layer on top of it all. I couldn't change my pants because of we were about to experience turbulance. FML

#6527445
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32960) - you deserved it (2506)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:34am - kids - by coloradoman (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my roommate let me know he "bumped" another car with mine. What he really meant was that I need a new rear quarter panel and the very angry BMW driver he hit has all of my information. FML

#13061135
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16889) - you deserved it (2506)

On 09/15/2010 at 12:52pm - misc - by Ah piss - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my partner thinks love is more meaningful than sex, so it's okay to stick his penis in someone else. FML

#19456455
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28124) - you deserved it (2506)

On 04/12/2012 at 4:42pm - intimacy - by Munkeh (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)



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