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Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML

#15067596
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35699) - you deserved it (2983)

On 02/21/2011 at 5:20pm - misc - by thissucks - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from the office telling me I was fired. When I asked why, my boss explained my mother called and told him I was in a "weak mental state." She thought she was helping me get off for my birthday. Now I have no job. FML

#15350541
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35157) - you deserved it (2983)

On 03/17/2011 at 10:43am - work - by jezebel (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML

#18545148
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21059) - you deserved it (2983)

On 12/18/2011 at 2:31pm - animals - by dogh8er (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sick and laid up in bed, and my boyfriend decided to bring me some soup. Just as he reached the bed, he tripped over his own feet and spilled the soup all over me. FML

#18488373
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24174) - you deserved it (2983)

On 12/11/2011 at 8:16pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it was my 24th birthday. I got a card from my sister reading: "Here's to another year of complete disregard for age-appropriate developmental milestones." She was right. FML

#1490
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13516) - you deserved it (2982)

On 01/17/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by nothreat33 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I finally finished my art project which was worth 50% of my quarterly grade. I came in 1st period to give it to her. When she turned to look at it, her elbow hit her coffee and spilled it all over the canvas. I got 60%. She said I would have had a 100%, except for the giant coffee stain. FML

#6169952
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55891) - you deserved it (2982)

On 11/05/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my uncle had a flashback to Vietnam. I'm now missing a tooth and have a cracked rib. FML

#14706011
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35610) - you deserved it (2982)

On 01/25/2011 at 2:28am - misc - by Randall (man) - United States (California)

Today, someone came over and told my mother, "I'm your son's friend Morris, I need to get something out of his car", so she gave him the keys. I have no friend called Morris, and now I don't have a sound system either. FML

#17266001
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36693) - you deserved it (2982)

On 07/26/2011 at 9:35am - misc - by ceetee - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took my girlfriend out to eat at a diner where my friend works. My friend was our waiter but too busy to talk much. He texted me after we'd left to tell me that my girlfriend had slipped him her number. FML

#20894038
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48953) - you deserved it (2982)

On 09/24/2013 at 3:15am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss found out that my girlfriend dumped me. He asked if that meant she would no longer bring her delicious homemade cookies to the office. When I said yes, he fired me on the spot. FML

#20990683
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47041) - you deserved it (2982)

On 12/12/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by justin (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML

#20175626
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26178) - you deserved it (2981)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by jakeson12 - United Kingdom (Dundee City)

Today, I called my mother to tell her that I got engaged. In the 15 minute conversation that followed, 13 were spent listening to how this is going to affect her. FML

#20665269
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40393) - you deserved it (2981)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML

#20916778
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39953) - you deserved it (2981)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:44pm - health - by jnisla (woman) - United States (South Carolina)



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