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Today, both of the roads leading to my small town were washed out by rising flood waters. I now live on an island in the middle of Wyoming. FML

#16357497
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32819) - you deserved it (3077)

On 05/26/2011 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, at work, I was screamed at and slapped by a woman for supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality, I'd simply turned her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowed number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML

#20623583
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46292) - you deserved it (3077)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:03pm - work - by fuck you walmart (woman) - United States

Today, I walked downstairs in a new outfit, after dieting for 3 months, and losing just over 20 pounds. My mom took one look at me and said "You'd better keep going." FML

#134892
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44643) - you deserved it (3076)

On 02/25/2009 at 5:06pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got an email from a Scholarship Program reminding me that they had rejected me 3 months ago. Thanks for reminding me I might not make it to college. FML

#3772317
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44405) - you deserved it (3076)

On 07/15/2009 at 12:02pm - money - by nsJ (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said "Have fun!" FML

#5846674
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26813) - you deserved it (3076)

On 10/15/2009 at 9:59pm - health - by Rob - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told my father I registered for the Marines, and that I'm leaving for bootcamp next week. He asked if this means that he doesn't have to pay child support anymore. FML

#12401273
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28103) - you deserved it (3076)

On 08/09/2010 at 12:03am - misc - by Widowmaker - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML

#18508427
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51433) - you deserved it (3076)

On 12/14/2011 at 12:15am - love - by newlysingle (man) - United States

Today, I woke up and went into the bathroom and noticed a dark mass in the toilet. Thinking someone took a dump and didn't flush, I approached the toilet ready to dispose of it. That's when I noticed its whiskers and ears. It was a rat, and it was alive. FML

#1763886
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55701) - you deserved it (3075)

On 05/08/2009 at 11:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I thought it would be nice to take my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for my birthday. She got a little headache after we ordered, so she went outside to get some air. I ate a $100 meal and had Happy Birthday sang to me by the restaurant staff. Alone. FML

#5498731
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38160) - you deserved it (3075)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm a nanny. After the kids went to bed the dog wouldn't stop barking violently unless I held the end of a blanket for him to hump. I need a raise. FML

#16738818
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31509) - you deserved it (3075)

On 06/19/2011 at 1:19am - work - by fattymcbutterpants - United States

Today, my taxi driver kept falling asleep and swerving off the road, so I asked him if he was okay. He stopped and burst out sobbing about the long hours he had to do after his divorce and his wife taking all he had. Long story short, I ended up driving him home and getting a taxi from his place. FML

#21273346
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38568) - you deserved it (3075)

On 10/08/2014 at 5:01am - misc - by rockytrolley - Cyprus

Today, my friend got a babysitter for the kids and told me she was taking me to a party. My son told me his band was playing at a party. I will be 40 tomorrow, so I thought this would be the best surprise birthday party ever. It WAS a surprise birthday party – for a friend of ours. FML

#4952305
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32885) - you deserved it (3074)

On 08/31/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by kelkline (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was on a date with someone I've had a crush on for a long time. It was after midnight, we were chatting in the car and I was close to having my first kiss ever. That is, until a bunch of policemen popped up to arrest my date for being a suspected drug dealer. FML

#8651104
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29461) - you deserved it (3074)

On 02/25/2010 at 10:05pm - love - by ifaisal - Qatar (Ad Dawhah)



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