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Today, at an Aunt's wake, my five year old son walked up to the coffin, and, with the whole family around him, exclaimed, "Well that's good, I was wondering where she's been." FML

#13635730
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27121) - you deserved it (3018)

On 10/29/2010 at 4:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was training a new person. The job included driving around the city all day, during which she decided to hang her head out the window and bark like a dog. I spent an 8 hour shift with her. FML

#12389070
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27626) - you deserved it (3018)

On 08/08/2010 at 10:52am - work - by XxDanno316xX - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me and said I had forgotten my blue bra. I don't have any blue bras. FML

#18534349
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39601) - you deserved it (3018)

On 12/17/2011 at 8:17am - love - by fmll - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

#20167650
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21578) - you deserved it (3018)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML

#20549421
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37127) - you deserved it (3018)

On 03/18/2013 at 3:38pm - love - by Maggie - United States

Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML

#20916778
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40359) - you deserved it (3018)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:44pm - health - by jnisla (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, a customer came in who only spoke Spanish. I speak Spanish rather well so I helped the customer. She ended up buying $2300 worth of stuff. I got written up because not speaking English apparently "has the potential be offensive to other customers if they are not able to understand you". FML

#5033562
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53041) - you deserved it (3017)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:31am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML

#5940105
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39731) - you deserved it (3017)

On 10/22/2009 at 1:53am - love - by uneek_3225 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML

#18834443
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34660) - you deserved it (3017)

On 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by littlelottie - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog wanted to go upstairs, but she has stitches and was having trouble. So I carried her to the top, at which point she peed all over my carpet. FML

#19211891
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19671) - you deserved it (3017)

On 03/04/2012 at 12:51am - animals - by raven_teen_titan - United States (California)

Today, I had a big argument with my girlfriend, after she tried to stop me going home, even though it was already past my curfew. I got home, only to find out I'm grounded for staying out late, and dumped for being "inconsiderate". FML

#20104336
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21694) - you deserved it (3017)

On 10/06/2012 at 2:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML

#17394745
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21712) - you deserved it (3016)

On 08/07/2011 at 4:08am - misc - by fugachumi - United States (Texas)

Today, I put a blue toilet cleaner square in the back of toilet. My fiancé called me later on freaking out because he couldn't get the "blue water to go away" when he flushed. FML

#18447759
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22952) - you deserved it (3016)

On 12/06/2011 at 8:38pm - love - by sparklethelette - United States (Connecticut)



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