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Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

#21204205
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43712) - you deserved it (3078)

On 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by ninnang - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I learnt that the girl with who I've being going out for 6 months, has been sleeping with every guy around except one. Guess who? FML

#379
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36766) - you deserved it (3077)

On 11/24/2008 at 1:08am - love - by lectro - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got demoted at my job. Instead of working with patients, they want me to file. The thing is, I'm a volunteer; I work for them for free. FML

#1523
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17288) - you deserved it (3077)

On 01/17/2009 at 10:44pm - work - by wasted_life - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I called my dad to tell him my boyfriend had proposed to me, and that we're planning on being married this summer. He was surprised at the short engagement, so I said, "Well, we're almost 30." Dad replied, "Wow, I left your mom when I was 35!" So not the conversation for that information, Dad. FML

#9150929
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22375) - you deserved it (3077)

On 03/17/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by rainonmyparade (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my best friend had set me up on a blind date. The guy demonstrated at length that he could do different cartoon voices such as Donald Duck, Droopy and many others the entire time. Oh, and he also kept wanting to talk about his farts. FML

#8529668
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24312) - you deserved it (3077)

On 02/21/2010 at 9:12pm - love - by Court - United States (Ohio)

Today, I returned home to find that my boyfriend's dog had gotten into the garbage and ripped all my used pads to shreds. There's a trail of Always tatters leading to his dog bed, and blood everywhere. My blood. Oh God. FML

#8435501
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31836) - you deserved it (3077)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:24am - animals - by OMGraven (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML

#14234444
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33794) - you deserved it (3078)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:05am - intimacy - by biblewanker - Australia

Today, both of the roads leading to my small town were washed out by rising flood waters. I now live on an island in the middle of Wyoming. FML

#16357497
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32820) - you deserved it (3077)

On 05/26/2011 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, at work, I was screamed at and slapped by a woman for supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality, I'd simply turned her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowed number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML

#20623583
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46293) - you deserved it (3077)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:03pm - work - by fuck you walmart (woman) - United States

Today, I walked downstairs in a new outfit, after dieting for 3 months, and losing just over 20 pounds. My mom took one look at me and said "You'd better keep going." FML

#134892
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44644) - you deserved it (3076)

On 02/25/2009 at 5:06pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got an email from a Scholarship Program reminding me that they had rejected me 3 months ago. Thanks for reminding me I might not make it to college. FML

#3772317
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44406) - you deserved it (3076)

On 07/15/2009 at 12:02pm - money - by nsJ (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said "Have fun!" FML

#5846674
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26813) - you deserved it (3076)

On 10/15/2009 at 9:59pm - health - by Rob - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told my father I registered for the Marines, and that I'm leaving for bootcamp next week. He asked if this means that he doesn't have to pay child support anymore. FML

#12401273
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28103) - you deserved it (3076)

On 08/09/2010 at 12:03am - misc - by Widowmaker - Sent from mobile version



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