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Today, after confessing my love for my best friend, he looked at me and said "I'm not feeling it. But does this mean we can have sex?" FML

#7618857
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21288) - you deserved it (3113)

On 01/27/2010 at 7:09pm - intimacy - by Boned...hard - Sent from mobile version

Today, my car got a wheel lock because I had 5 tickets. Three of those tickets dated back to 2006. I got my car and license in 2008. FML

#7835541
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28381) - you deserved it (3113)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:11am - money - by olyswimmer (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I treated my mom to a movie and lunch after she'd attended weeks of AA meetings. She snuck in a flask to the movie, and during lunch, she started calling people muggles. FML

#15128111
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28732) - you deserved it (3113)

On 02/26/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by BackToRehab - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wear makeup much. Expecting him to say something about my natural beauty, I replied with an honest "no." His smiled softly, gently squeezed my shoulder, and said, "Maybe you should." FML

#19964000
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23384) - you deserved it (3113)

On 07/20/2012 at 2:23pm - love - by Taylor (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML

#20095343
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28533) - you deserved it (3113)

On 09/30/2012 at 3:37pm - intimacy - by whatswrongwithit?:( (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at a family party, my uncles were complimenting my mom on her pies. I cooked them. She took all the credit. FML

#20883979
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40023) - you deserved it (3113)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:03pm - misc - by zachadams - United States (New York)

Today, everyone at the office was finally presented with the bonuses our boss had promised to pay us by the end of last year. Turns out he was never authorized to promise any such thing, so he ended up just giving us signed "thank you" letters instead. FML

#21138754
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38009) - you deserved it (3113)

On 05/13/2014 at 3:23pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML

#8587618
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24938) - you deserved it (3112)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by disgusted - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got a date for Valentine's Day. The date is with my orthodontist; he's going to tighten my braces. FML

#18984766
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21504) - you deserved it (3112)

On 02/03/2012 at 3:47pm - misc - by tooembarassed - United States

Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML

#20835961
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39076) - you deserved it (3112)

On 08/13/2013 at 8:08pm - money - by What. - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I had a basketball game against our rivals. Since the starting guard had a broken ankle, I felt happy that I could finally get playing time and prove that I'm good. Instead I had to run the scoreboard for the game, because the scoreboard guy was absent. FML

#3573001
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37112) - you deserved it (3111)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:49am - misc - by Benchthewarmer (man) - United States

Today, I was walking downstairs to the subway. At the top of the stairs this hobo was peeing. Two seconds before, I told my friend I felt rain. It wasn't rain. FML

#1519871
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55306) - you deserved it (3111)

On 05/01/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by DudeManBro69 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to break up a fistfight between my wife and mother. Apparently, my mom heard that I finally got the great paying job of my dreams, and told my wife I'd finally kick her "useless ass to the curb." We have to spend the holidays together. FML

#18056102
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25305) - you deserved it (3111)

On 10/23/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)



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