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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML

#20902425
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47348) - you deserved it (3526)

On 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I got to go back into my house after it had been tented. Suddenly, a foul stench filled my house. My husband checked all around the house and finally checked under the house. There were more than 12 dead stray cats under our house, and guess who was in charge of pulling them out? FML

#4947813
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39398) - you deserved it (3525)

On 08/31/2009 at 3:37am - animals - by ahdeadcats - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find my dad crying. Turns out my parents are getting divorced because my mom had an affair. With a teacher at my school. A female teacher. And the school isn't going to fire her because she's a good teacher. Every day at school I'm going to have to see her. FML

#3949695
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72954) - you deserved it (3525)

On 07/22/2009 at 6:43am - love - by mylifereallyISeffed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up to the news that my mom's in jail. FML

#16908101
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42473) - you deserved it (3525)

On 06/29/2011 at 10:51am - misc - by mymomsstupid - United States

Today, I drove my boyfriend to hospital because he felt extremely ill. His buddies had gotten their hands on a taser, and he had the brilliant idea of being shot as part of a Youtube stunt video. Now I have an empty gas tank and have to clean up a puddle of vomit in my living room. FML

#16377162
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28884) - you deserved it (3525)

On 05/27/2011 at 8:04pm - misc - by moron - United States

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50453) - you deserved it (3525)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I noticed that whenever someone belches, I immediately think of my boyfriend. FML

#19636097
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18907) - you deserved it (3525)

On 05/17/2012 at 8:00am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband recited to me the name and model number of every single weapon in the game Doom, along with what they did and roughly where to find them. Last month, he forgot my birthday. We've been married for 6 years; he hasn't played Doom in at least 10. FML

#21353586
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33400) - you deserved it (3525)

On 02/10/2015 at 7:00pm - love - by doomed (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after my first flight landed late, I burned out my lungs sprinting full speed for 10 minutes to catch my next flight. The gate number on my ticket was wrong. It had been changed to one right next to where I had originally pulled up to. FML

#8501700
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27873) - you deserved it (3524)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by mad flyer - Sent from mobile version

Today, I received two cards in the mail for my late husband for his birthday. He has been dead for four years now, and the cards were from our two children, who live several states away. This is the fourth time it's happened, and neither of them answer my calls. Ever. FML

#13514836
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44906) - you deserved it (3524)

On 10/19/2010 at 6:58pm - kids - by widow - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got stuck driving behind a rather large motorcyclist on a one way road for 30 miles. For those 30 miles, I had a full view of his back fat rolls and butt crack. FML

#18466137
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25317) - you deserved it (3524)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:43am - misc - by O__o (woman) - United States

Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML

#17987492
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42801) - you deserved it (3524)

On 10/15/2011 at 3:18am - misc - by Ca13b - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up after having a nightmare that my girlfriend broke up with me. Needing reassurance, I told her about it. She became furious with me saying that she'd never do that and called me an "inconsiderate fucking bastard for even thinking that." Then she broke up with me. FML

#20101222
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30996) - you deserved it (3524)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:44am - love - by Dave (man) - United States



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