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Today, I was working as the shift manager at my job at a fast food restaurant. Our company policy states that all employees must be clean shaven before coming to work. I had to inform one of the employees, Kris, that they had to shave before clocking in. Kris is a woman. FML

#766931
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64375) - you deserved it (2993)

On 04/02/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was closing at work when someone came in ten minutes before close (2am) and placed a huge order. I couldn't turn him away because he's my manager from my other job. He was drunk. FML

#12807710
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26956) - you deserved it (2992)

On 08/29/2010 at 4:37pm - work - by xharuki - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at work, my boss made me spend a hour trying to catch a baby raccoon in the parking lot. I'm a bank teller. FML

#13525218
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25003) - you deserved it (2992)

On 10/20/2010 at 2:08pm - work - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was let down for a movie date. As I'd already paid for the tickets, I got my narcoleptic sister to come and sit next to me while she slept, so it didn't look like I came on my own. FML

#20895886
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31704) - you deserved it (2992)

On 09/25/2013 at 6:12pm - love - by cinemasaddo (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out why my dad always treated me badly as a kid compared to my siblings. It's because I was conceived while my mom was cheating on him. On top of that, he made it clear that he still doesn't consider me a "real" part of the family. FML

#21091901
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51106) - you deserved it (2992)

On 03/20/2014 at 4:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at my mom's funeral. My sisters and I were sitting in the front row. The funeral director, whom we had met with twice before, was going around greeting everyone. When she got to us, she asked where our mom was. Seriously? FML

#21189397
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56267) - you deserved it (2992)

On 06/26/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Alex - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

#8894345
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33292) - you deserved it (2991)

On 03/07/2010 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by woopdeedo_1 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, it was my birthday. I got ONE birthday greeting: from my bank, telling me they were closing my account. FML

#14785892
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28826) - you deserved it (2991)

On 01/31/2011 at 8:55am - misc - by Micawber - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my parents made a list of all the things they could have done had I not been born. FML

#19812575
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31016) - you deserved it (2991)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theunborn - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML

#20163308
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20466) - you deserved it (2991)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife, daughter, and I get to spend the next 4 hours in the ER. Why? Because we're all throwing up at the same time. At least it counts as a family activity. FML

#11911346
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26328) - you deserved it (2990)

On 07/16/2010 at 12:17am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, one of my boyfriend's friends ranted on about how I am such a crappy girlfriend and how all of his friends don't like me. I just spent over $200 on a surprise party that I invited them all to last weekend. FML

#14597219
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23825) - you deserved it (2990)

On 01/16/2011 at 1:50am - misc - by me - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad awkwardly asked me how to selectively clear his browser history. Apparently, my mom discovered his browsing habits and tore him a new one for looking at "nothing but vile smut". FML

#16606089
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26521) - you deserved it (2990)

On 06/11/2011 at 2:37am - intimacy - by dadisgoatboy - Switzerland (Aargau)



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