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Today, it was my 21st birthday. All my friends showed up at my house already drunk, so I had to be the designated driver. FML

#4617749
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52316) - you deserved it (3721)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by thedd (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my partner and I were spending quality time with a newly single friend. She quoted some song lyrics, saying "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make an ugly woman your wife...". We all laughed, and then my partner said "Boy, you got THAT right." FML

#6739480
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28450) - you deserved it (3720)

On 12/13/2009 at 3:22pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML

#12301472
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44099) - you deserved it (3720)

On 08/04/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML

#17423512
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32754) - you deserved it (3719)

On 08/09/2011 at 11:00pm - animals - by Nekro_Kat - United States (California)

Today, I called in sick at work because I have the flu. This is my first sick day in the 2 years I've worked there. It's also the day the CEO made a surprise visit. My co-workers all got generous salary increases, and some of them promotions. I'm not included, simply because I wasn't there. FML

Today, my husband and I went to our first counseling sessions, where the main focus was communication. When the therapist called us in together to discuss techniques we could use at home, my husband looked around, rolled his eyes, and responded with, "Uh huh" to every question. FML

#19144209
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24961) - you deserved it (3719)

On 02/23/2012 at 2:59am - love - by atsukobo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was cleaning the bathrooms at work. An older gentlemen came in and needed to use it. He said to me "Oh no, PLEASE stay, just don't look." I don't get paid enough for this. FML

#21065584
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40000) - you deserved it (3718)

On 02/19/2014 at 4:09pm - work - by sarad206 (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me how disappointed and depressed she was that she could never make me hard. She started ranting about her looks and how she fails at everything. I didn't know how to reply. I was hard while she told me. FML

#6030769
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22443) - you deserved it (3718)

On 10/27/2009 at 9:28pm - intimacy - by timmynotjimmy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a girl I've liked for several years gave me her number. Finally, I worked up the courage to call her. It was a suicide help line. FML

#5993337
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46163) - you deserved it (3718)

On 10/25/2009 at 4:48pm - love - by Kin (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML

#8800810
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25813) - you deserved it (3718)

On 03/03/2010 at 3:35pm - misc - by ROLLY - United States (Florida)

Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML

#17615072
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38693) - you deserved it (3718)

On 08/29/2011 at 7:59pm - kids - by slavelaborsux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

#20512419
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34199) - you deserved it (3718)

On 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm - work - by ari (woman) - United States

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

#20692945
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49555) - you deserved it (3718)

On 05/29/2013 at 11:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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