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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. I woke up right as the dentist pulled my last tooth. FML

#20708877
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49011) - you deserved it (3090)

On 06/06/2013 at 1:01am - health - by Applejacks18 (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, the mother of one of my students bitched me out about her son's poor grades. He lazes around all day, paying no attention and being a constant nuisance. But, she says it's not his fault, and demands that I give him better grades so he won't get "self-esteem" issues. FML

#20870380
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47303) - you deserved it (3090)

On 09/06/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being smart said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk and me. FML

#901011
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63172) - you deserved it (3089)

On 04/10/2009 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I ordered a chicken sandwich. I was starving and it was the fastest thing to order. Half way through it, I found something which does not belong, and removed it. It was half a cockroach, and I don't know where the other half is. FML

#5643863
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43208) - you deserved it (3089)

On 10/04/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by Foufinator - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML

#9015230
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28504) - you deserved it (3089)

On 03/12/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by ugh - United States

Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

#18368506
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22168) - you deserved it (3089)

On 11/27/2011 at 5:46pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2pm, screaming out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML

#20895601
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36594) - you deserved it (3089)

On 09/25/2013 at 12:35pm - misc - by nicetomeetyou2 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to work at my job as a secretary. I had been given the task to file my boss's collection of Playboy magazines alphabetically by name of the centerfold. There was one for every month from the years of 1980 until now. FML

#20895973
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35591) - you deserved it (3089)

On 09/25/2013 at 7:22pm - work - by Abcporn (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

#20919796
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42091) - you deserved it (3089)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my dorm room. He was naked and was peeing into my water bottle. He kept asking for Chris. I have no idea who Chris is. FML

#6613935
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31744) - you deserved it (3088)

On 12/05/2009 at 9:10am - misc - by thewallrules - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML

#19426684
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44484) - you deserved it (3088)

On 04/07/2012 at 11:19pm - love - by jordyn173 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out via Facebook status that my boyfriend is going to Hawaii with a group of friends, including his ex-girlfriend for a few weeks. When I confronted him about it, he said he didn't think I needed to know, and to mind my own business. I think I'm about to be single. FML

#19661791
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29698) - you deserved it (3088)

On 05/22/2012 at 10:32am - love - by angry girlfriend - Canada (Quebec)

Today, everyone at the office was finally presented with the bonuses our boss had promised to pay us by the end of last year. Turns out he was never authorized to promise any such thing, so he ended up just giving us signed "thank you" letters instead. FML

#21138754
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37832) - you deserved it (3088)

On 05/13/2014 at 3:23pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Prince Edward Island)



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