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Today, I came home from school and found my mother singing along to her latest investment, a compilation CD filled with heavy metal covers of ABBA classics. FML

Today, I flew to England to visit my boyfriend, who has been working there for the past three months. I went to his hotel and waited for him; he never showed up. I called one of his colleagues to ask him what was going on. He had no idea what I was talking about. FML

#18968998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33406) - you deserved it (3345)

On 02/01/2012 at 2:31pm - love - by mareda (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

#20966535
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44686) - you deserved it (3345)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:20am - kids - by spooked (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boss told me that there is no point in making me cut onions anymore because every time I do, I look like I've "been beaten", and can't be seen by the customers for at least half an hour. FML

#21091068
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32657) - you deserved it (3345)

On 03/19/2014 at 6:24pm - work - by Embarassed (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend of one year when an attractive girl walks over. She asks him, "Is this your girlfriend?" He replied "That depends... are you single?" FML

#6404510
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42716) - you deserved it (3344)

On 11/22/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by Rejected. (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, a bee flew into my classroom and landed on my cheek. Not only am I allergic to these things, I was hit in the face with a textbook to "make sure it's dead." FML

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. The guy who picked up sounded drunk, told me to fuck off, and hung up. FML

#21342247
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39159) - you deserved it (3344)

On 01/22/2015 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to get my school picture taken, when the photographer looked at me, saying, "You look like you need a mirror." FML

#21181
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24852) - you deserved it (3343)

On 02/10/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by greattt (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, when I was finished eating at McDonalds, I went to Shoppers to pick up a new toothbrush. I got back to my car only to find the windows smashed in. The only thing that was missing from my car was the Hello Kitty toy I got from McDonalds. Someone broke into my car for a 10 cent toy. FML

#5087862
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45841) - you deserved it (3343)

On 09/06/2009 at 7:12pm - money - by effmylife (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister asked me if any of my family members had commented on my recent weight gain. I told her no not really. Her reply? "They must just being saying it behind your back then." FML

#7729865
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23071) - you deserved it (3343)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:38am - health - by lilsis (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got the guts to call my dad for the first time in nine years. He said he "almost didn't remember" he "had another daughter." Another? FML

#13273584
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31278) - you deserved it (3343)

On 10/01/2010 at 5:09am - misc - by T - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend opened the car door in a very kind and loving way. What wasn't so kind and loving was that my hand was still half-way when he closed it. FML

#17407697
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24714) - you deserved it (3343)

On 08/08/2011 at 2:11pm - health - by oops (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)



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