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Today, after his second week of babysitting, my boyfriend has begun the disturbing habit of saying, "Ready or not, here I come!" every time he's about to orgasm. He doesn't see why this doesn't appeal to me. FML

#20032910
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22830) - you deserved it (2521)

On 08/20/2012 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by majorlyturnedoff (woman) - United States

Today, I had to take an oral examination. I made it to the last part of the exam, then violently threw up in the middle of my answer. FML

#20991922
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34768) - you deserved it (2521)

On 12/14/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by MGDS (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while entering the building I live in, I walked into my neighbor who winked at me and said last night must have been great. After I asked why, he said he could hear my girlfriend moaning and screaming, and that I must be pretty good at it. I was just coming back from a week overseas. FML

#4394245
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59546) - you deserved it (2520)

On 08/08/2009 at 9:56pm - intimacy - by ouch (man) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

Today, I confronted my boyfriend, suspecting that he has been cheating on me during the past few months. He vehemently denied it. Then told me it would never happen again. What? FML

#6049453
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34411) - you deserved it (2520)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:09am - love - by clueless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at home, my mom came and saw me holding what she thought was a glass of beer. She took the glass, threw it and slapped me for drinking it. I was drinking Apple Juice. FML

#4228843
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49543) - you deserved it (2519)

On 08/02/2009 at 12:14pm - misc - by kashish0711 (man) - India (Chandigarh)

Today, I started my first day of work at my new job. They had a section in the parking lot for employees only, so I parked there. Apparently, my boss didn't recognize my car, and had it towed. FML

#15825152
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26170) - you deserved it (2519)

On 04/17/2011 at 7:18pm - work - by sdgsfvbkuhkj (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend forgot to tell me about the all-night bender he went out on, and what he got up to with my best friend. But its okay; the Facebook pictures say it all. FML

#15895207
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28708) - you deserved it (2519)

On 04/23/2011 at 4:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, my high school guidance counselor tried to convince me NOT to go to college, mainly because it's been so long since someone from my high school went to college, that she got rid of all the college information she used to have. FML

#15768228
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34729) - you deserved it (2519)

On 04/13/2011 at 9:07am - misc - by CollegeBoy (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend.' FML

#18614469
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19973) - you deserved it (2519)

On 12/26/2011 at 7:11am - love - by SoccerBabe42 (woman) - Canada

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

#19443097
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33037) - you deserved it (2519)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML

#19998761
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23405) - you deserved it (2519)

On 08/02/2012 at 5:08pm - misc - by danonno (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

#20164794
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21431) - you deserved it (2519)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by needanewride - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after an extensive talk with a relationship counselor, we concluded that I'm more likely to get run over by a car than be in a stable relationship. FML

#20397555
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18746) - you deserved it (2519)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:01am - love - by Hit-and-Run - Mexico (Chihuahua)



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