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Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML

#17973930
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26652) - you deserved it (3130)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:24am - kids - by daddoesn'tknowbest - United States

Today, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML

#17986846
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37180) - you deserved it (3130)

On 10/15/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by Ania (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in a gas station bathroom attempting to buy a condom from the machine on the wall. A woman who smelled of cat piss walked in, and I got embarrassed so I fled into a stall. She then started a conversation with me about "the good old days" from the next stall over. FML

#19559946
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16664) - you deserved it (3130)

On 05/01/2012 at 7:43pm - misc - by Megannn (woman) - United States

Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML

#20438667
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34710) - you deserved it (3130)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:59pm - love - by great. -

Today, my daughter found out what happens when my husband watches Mythbusters and doesn't heed the disclaimer to "Not try this at home." He feels bad about her cut face, but says he's proud he can throw a playing card that hard. FML

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML

#21287735
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31474) - you deserved it (3130)

On 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm - kids - by lexigan4 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, not only did I miss my bus by seconds, I also saw the bus driver smirking as he drove past me in the middle of the Canadian winter. FML

#14233418
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26758) - you deserved it (3129)

On 12/17/2010 at 8:20am - misc - by peanutface - Canada

Today, I made plans with an old friend that I haven't seen in years. We agreed to meet at a diner and I told him I'd be standing outside. I watched him pull up, look right at me, then do something with his phone. Seconds later, I got a text saying "Sorry, but I'm busy today and can't make it." FML

#15130627
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32926) - you deserved it (3129)

On 02/26/2011 at 8:56pm - misc - by Angela (woman) - United States

Today, I've been unemployed for a year. For the last six months I had been trying for a good paying job at a great company, who kept saying they would hire me when the economy improves. Three weeks ago I gave up and moved 2 hours away. Guess who just called to finally offer me a job. FML

Today, my mom had an appointment with my teacher after class. She never showed. My teacher ended up driving me home. FML

#16560118
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35336) - you deserved it (3128)

On 06/08/2011 at 9:03am - work - by iloveyoutoomom (man) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, while at a concert, I stepped into a restroom to use my nasal spray since my allergies were acting up. Apparently, someone thought that I had been snorting coke in the stall. I was escorted outside and had to wait for the cops until I could explain everything. I missed the headliner. FML

#20677338
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44021) - you deserved it (3128)

On 05/21/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I held the door for an elderly woman. As she walked through, she looked at me and told me I was a very handsome man and that I should meet her grandson. The woman was my grandmother, and yes, I'm straight. FML

#20978372
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42109) - you deserved it (3128)

On 12/02/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by rick - United States (Alabama)

Today, my parents asked if they could borrow my car. Why? Because they were going to see someone about a Craig's List ad and wanted to look poor. FML

#5657528
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33459) - you deserved it (3127)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:38am - money - by poorcar (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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