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Today, I finally found out who has been hacking my email account to send dirty messages to my teacher. My dad. FML

by Charles / 05/18/2011 at 1:13pm / Norway (Akershus) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that the redneck, hick, abusive family that my co-workers always joke about is my family. FML

by anon / 10/11/2011 at 7:52am / United States / Work

Today, I was at my job as a bartender where I had to listen to a 40-something man with no legs drunkenly explain just how much he loves nipples. FML

by sugarbeet / 12/03/2011 at 8:39pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2012 at 9:41pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, my house caught on fire. The firefighters said that it was caused by a lit cigarette on the carpet. I don't smoke, but apparently my 13 year old son does. FML

by no one / 03/29/2012 at 2:29pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes to do things the old-fashioned way, and that he wouldn't propose to me without my father's blessing. My dad died 3 years ago, and he knows it. FML

by lonethong15 / 08/08/2014 at 6:53pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I got food poisoning from my wedding food. FML

by ekoblick / 06/17/2011 at 12:34am / United States / Health

Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML

by slickrick22 / 02/26/2012 at 9:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I'm highly-placed in my wrestling competition this year. I also found out that I have mono and won't be able to take part for at least the first half of the competition. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I planned on telling the girl I like that I have feelings for her. What I didn't plan on was having a panic attack and whispering "I really like you!" super creepily and immediately saying "bye" and running away in shame. FML

by Afroman720 / 08/26/2015 at 12:14pm / United States (Utah) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I washed my face and grabbed the towel to dry it, I felt something moving down my forehead, thinking it was a drop of water. Upon looking in the mirror, I found it hadn't been a drop of water. Unless the water drop had legs and was gooey. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2009 at 10:55am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, a little girl pointed to the acne on my face and said to her dad, "Look at how many mosquito bites she has on her face!" FML

by nybaby / 11/29/2010 at 4:17pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I walked in on one of my housemates pissing in the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes. FML

by anon / 03/23/2011 at 12:56am / Miscellaneous