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Today, I learned that the "If I can't see you, you can't see me." rule is entirely false. Just because I can't initially see my creepy neighbor, doesn't mean he isn't watching me change my clothes through the blinds. FML

#17585991
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29345) - you deserved it (3722)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by Peekaboo (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up, just like daddy's girlfriend. We're still married. FML

#8300891
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42486) - you deserved it (3721)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:58pm - love - by ShayisPay101 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents found several drawings of a dinosaur girl in various bondage equipment posing seductively in my purse. The drawings weren't mine, nor do I have any idea where they came from, but my parents now think I'm a freak. FML

#14022064
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30163) - you deserved it (3721)

On 11/29/2010 at 9:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up to my yard covered in snow, Christmas music playing loudly, and my noisy, obnoxious aunt and her three year old twin daughters playing and screaming. They're going to be living with us until after the winter holidays. It's only November 18th. FML

#13889656
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26634) - you deserved it (3721)

On 11/18/2010 at 5:33pm - misc - by The Christmas Grinch - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at a coffee shop, when a middle-aged guy called me a "two-timing whore", dumped his coffee on me and walked out in tears. I'm 14 and I have no idea who he was. FML

#20878614
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60101) - you deserved it (3721)

On 09/12/2013 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, trying to get some much needed rest, I heard my neighbors fighting loudly. When they finally quit, they left a DVD on, directly behind my wall: Spongebob, with the menu tune on loop. FML

#21025356
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45493) - you deserved it (3721)

On 01/12/2014 at 6:04am - misc - by tired individual (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my 7-year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of the supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

#21321028
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32425) - you deserved it (3721)

On 12/20/2014 at 5:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my partner and I were spending quality time with a newly single friend. She quoted some song lyrics, saying "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make an ugly woman your wife...". We all laughed, and then my partner said "Boy, you got THAT right." FML

#6739480
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28450) - you deserved it (3720)

On 12/13/2009 at 3:22pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML

#12301472
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44099) - you deserved it (3720)

On 08/04/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend told me I sound like a squeaky toy during sex, and asked if I could get it under control because it creeps him out. FML

#21510905
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20268) - you deserved it (3721)

On 01/03/2016 at 4:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, my sister recorded the sound of me having intense diarrhea, retching at the stench, and eventually breaking down in tears. I only found out when I saw she'd posted it online, with the caption "lol #gaytard #sorrynotsorry". I've never been called a pussy by so many people before. FML

#21457966
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22256) - you deserved it (3720)

On 08/19/2015 at 8:14am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML

#17423512
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32754) - you deserved it (3719)

On 08/09/2011 at 11:00pm - animals - by Nekro_Kat - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I went to our first counseling sessions, where the main focus was communication. When the therapist called us in together to discuss techniques we could use at home, my husband looked around, rolled his eyes, and responded with, "Uh huh" to every question. FML

#19144209
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24961) - you deserved it (3719)

On 02/23/2012 at 2:59am - love - by atsukobo (woman) - United States (California)



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