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Today, I was talking to a guy at the bar and I told him I was a biology major. He promptly said, "NEXT" and moved on to the girl next to me. FML

#12870
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30070) - you deserved it (3010)

On 02/07/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by biomajor (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes "betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML

#18553811
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25877) - you deserved it (3010)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:08pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML

#18807759
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38818) - you deserved it (3010)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend thought it was a good show of etiquette to answer a text message from his ex, while he was still inside me. FML

#19573646
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29096) - you deserved it (3010)

On 05/04/2012 at 4:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I was told that I have to apply to keep the job that I've held for the past two years. There are so many other applicants that it's basically a free-for-all. FML

#20813366
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41452) - you deserved it (3010)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:47pm - work - by TheStressComesFree (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out my husband of 10 years has a online blog. Excited to read about myself, I began skimming, only to find out that every entry is him explaining how he let his "soulmate" walk away 9 years ago because of his "previous commitment" and how he regrets it every day. FML

#8909849
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33553) - you deserved it (3009)

On 03/08/2010 at 12:14am - love - by smashleighfig - Sent from mobile version

Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML

#13235832
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38458) - you deserved it (3009)

On 09/28/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Jake - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was at the library, and had finally found the book I'd been looking for, when a man approaches me, says "The main character dies at the end", and walks away. FML

#17655744
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30880) - you deserved it (3009)

On 09/03/2011 at 8:04pm - misc - by haha - United States (California)

Today, I was transporting liquor between stores for work. A car pulled out and cut me off, causing me to slam on my brakes. My car stopped. The 200 dollars-worth of booze did not. FML

#18859567
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23190) - you deserved it (3009)

On 01/20/2012 at 3:23am - work - by LiquorChick (woman) - United States

Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML

#20566421
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34548) - you deserved it (3009)

On 03/30/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, our guest lecturer told us to imagine 25,000 dead koalas in our lecture theatre, and if that didn't make us emotional then we didn't care about them. She then went on a rant, during which she encouraged us to join the "koala army". FML

#20580464
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30533) - you deserved it (3009)

On 04/08/2013 at 10:08am - work - by save the koalas? uhh - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was stuck home with a cold when my boyfriend's best friend sent me a text saying, "You doing alright?" I replied, thinking he was talking about my health. He replied, "I'm surprised you're taking the breakup so well." What breakup? Mine. He was ten minutes too soon. FML

#20690777
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53888) - you deserved it (3009)

On 05/28/2013 at 4:09am - love - by really? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML

#21149559
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40352) - you deserved it (3009)

On 05/23/2014 at 8:09pm - misc - by ThisIsWhyIStayAtHome - Ireland (Dublin)



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