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Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

#21053382
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40516) - you deserved it (3277)

On 02/07/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Mayotte

Today, I went on a date with a girl who had to cut our date short so she could go on another one. FML

#21313753
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34412) - you deserved it (3277)

On 12/08/2014 at 12:58pm - love - by Anonomous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the girl I had a crush on for the past few months called me and wanted to tell me something. Excited, I agreed and we went out to dinner. She wanted to tell me she had been secretly seeing 'someone' for the past six months. FML

#6733753
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23906) - you deserved it (3276)

On 12/13/2009 at 2:36am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking my dog on a walk when two younger looking boys rode their bikes up towards me. One said, "What about her?" The other boy said, "Nah, she's ugly." FML

#11271571
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29816) - you deserved it (3276)

On 06/17/2010 at 6:56pm - animals - by MCRxforever - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went on a date with a guy, who decided to rudely text message his friend the whole time. When I got home, I realized he'd been texting the girl he was going to hookup with after our date; she happens to be my roommate. FML

#14826546
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36218) - you deserved it (3276)

On 02/03/2011 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, while getting ready to welcome my first child into the world, my father in law decided to "help out" and threw out a bunch of papers I needed. Like my child's application for a health card, social insurance number, and my birth plan, as well as instructions from my doctor. FML

#20840198
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45852) - you deserved it (3276)

On 08/16/2013 at 11:21am - misc - by momma - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were wondering whose extra spare key was on the counter when we came home. Turns out it's his ex's and she returned it, while neither of us were home. We're still taking inventory to see what's missing. FML

#21272236
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32730) - you deserved it (3276)

On 10/06/2014 at 7:05pm - misc - by thenewgirl - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend bought us plane tickets to Mexico for our "Honeymoon". This would be nice if he had proposed and if we'd been dating for longer than 2 weeks. FML

#21297437
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34642) - you deserved it (3276)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:21am - love - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I came home and found my desk devoid of all paper. Turned out my mom dropped by and wanted to surprise me by cleaning up my work area. She threw away over 7 months worth of irreplaceable original sketches, notes and storylines, thinking they were worthless. My job is a full-time artist. FML

#2701716
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63559) - you deserved it (3275)

On 06/07/2009 at 8:17pm - work - by Kilika (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to call the doctor to go and have them remove a tick that had got stuck to my man-parts while fishing. The receptionist laughed, she thought I was prank calling. FML

#16050622
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29923) - you deserved it (3275)

On 05/04/2011 at 10:38pm - health - by ouchies - United States

Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML

#19979186
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32663) - you deserved it (3275)

On 07/23/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

#20494543
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37119) - you deserved it (3275)

On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML

#20755283
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50366) - you deserved it (3275)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by whipplewhip - United States



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