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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after being married for 20 years, I found out that my wife has accounts on multiple dating sites, "just in case." FML

#21007851
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41676) - you deserved it (3343)

On 12/28/2013 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boss told me that there is no point in making me cut onions anymore because every time I do, I look like I've "been beaten", and can't be seen by the customers for at least half an hour. FML

#21091068
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32653) - you deserved it (3343)

On 03/19/2014 at 6:24pm - work - by Embarassed (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my non-English-speaking grandma bought me a new t-shirt. It would've been sweet if it didn't have the word "bondage" written on the back in pretty, bold letters. I had no choice but to wear it while we went shopping. FML

#21094283
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34721) - you deserved it (3343)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - Egypt

Today, I went to get my school picture taken, when the photographer looked at me, saying, "You look like you need a mirror." FML

#21181
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24849) - you deserved it (3342)

On 02/10/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by greattt (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was arrested for carrying a dangerous weapon. I was on my way home from the shop where I'd bought a new kitchen knife. FML

#16657844
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34691) - you deserved it (3342)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:47am - misc - by lalala (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML

#19827814
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24451) - you deserved it (3342)

On 06/22/2012 at 3:28am - work - by me - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that my mom is not only reading my mail, but she is also withholding letters from my bank, college, and insurance company. Why? Because "they could be inappropriate" for me to read. I'm 25. FML

Today, my mother dragged me into Victoria's Secret to get my opinion on some lingerie. Lingerie she'll be using to get into my dad's pants this evening. FML

#14731317
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32524) - you deserved it (3341)

On 01/27/2011 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my Dad and I went to McDonald's, only to have him shove two handfuls of sugar packets into the bag. He said, "If it's for free, why only take one?" To make it worse, my crush was at the till, watching what was happening. FML

#17497272
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23959) - you deserved it (3341)

On 08/17/2011 at 3:14am - money - by AshamedDaughter - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML

#20679387
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41535) - you deserved it (3341)

On 05/22/2013 at 6:56am - misc - by stillhave2years - United States

Today, I left for college. I spent hundreds of dollars on clothes, bedding and other things. After packing my entire closet and everything else I needed, I left only to have to head back home. My dad forgot to pay the first semesters tuition. He said "Oh well, you would have failed out anyway." FML

#4891405
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50608) - you deserved it (3340)

On 08/28/2009 at 8:59pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I witnessed my drunk grandmother attempting the Single Ladies dance, complete with hip gyrations and ass slapping. FML

#7125944
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29898) - you deserved it (3340)

On 01/03/2010 at 1:06pm - misc - by ohdear (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I sent a text to a guy I'd met over the weekend. He'd traveled 40 miles to my town for the date, so I picked up the tab for dinner. My text simply said, "Had a nice time. Looking forward to getting together again." His reply was, "When did you get so needy?" FML

#13898275
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26371) - you deserved it (3340)

On 11/19/2010 at 10:00am - love - by needfulthing - United States



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