Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I checked my email after a week of no cell reception or internet while I was stuck at a family holiday cottage. There was an email offering me the RA job I've been trying to get for almost a year, telling me congratulations and to reply by Friday if I accepted. Last Friday. FML

#6960951
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25998) - you deserved it (3083)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:34pm - work - by Humbug (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got fired. By my father. He wants me to drive him to work tomorrow. FML

#6517705
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30331) - you deserved it (3083)

On 11/29/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was looking forward to coming home to a freshly-cooked meal. Coming home to a cowering dog, two inches of water on the floor, and being handed a mop is just as good, I guess. FML

#7199180
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22219) - you deserved it (3083)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:38pm - animals - by Flooded (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML

#8587618
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24691) - you deserved it (3084)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by disgusted - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML

#15887024
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32208) - you deserved it (3083)

On 04/22/2011 at 2:43pm - work - by Ashleigh - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was the weird girl on the city bus who falls asleep then makes a loud, weird noise and wakes herself up. FML

#21284017
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23073) - you deserved it (3085)

On 10/23/2014 at 9:05pm - misc - by pyrogypsy (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband and I bought a new swing for our front porch. We put it together and sat down to enjoy our accomplishment. 5 minutes into our swing I threw up several times. I have really bad motion sickness, and apparently a swing is no exception. FML

#20074281
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17855) - you deserved it (3082)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by kacie smith - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I logged onto facebook to realize that my boyfriend is now listed as single. News to me. FML

#13746
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42670) - you deserved it (3081)

On 02/07/2009 at 6:04pm - misc - by klv8 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in the change room at the local YMCA. I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a naked old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimed at the dryer. He seemed to be enjoying it. FML

#216994
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52982) - you deserved it (3081)

On 03/05/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by nuberific (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I have come to the point in my life where I need to Google how to stop excessive back sweat. FML

#17851509
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20726) - you deserved it (3081)

On 09/27/2011 at 10:18pm - health - by MissPerspirent (woman) - Canada

Today, my car alarm went off at a funeral, three times. FML

#20070406
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19641) - you deserved it (3080)

On 09/13/2012 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs. FML

#14963197
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25331) - you deserved it (3080)

On 02/13/2011 at 8:18pm - misc - by alice (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, a woman called my work and accused me of having an affair with her husband, my coworker, demanding that my boss discipline me. I don't know her, I barely know her husband, and I haven't had sex in months. FML

#15680012
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36817) - you deserved it (3080)

On 04/07/2011 at 1:30pm - intimacy - by kharrington - United States (Connecticut)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: