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Today, Amazon didn't deliver the present I bought my mother for Mothering Sunday, so she called me an 'Ungrateful bastard.' And about half an hour ago, I cut my thumb whilst making her lunch. She said, 'You're doing this on purpose so I feel sorry for you. Well I don't.' FML

#15618704
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35089) - you deserved it (3279)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:32am - misc - by Trainspotting - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML

#17131745
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33097) - you deserved it (3278)

On 07/16/2011 at 2:23am - money - by Tanner - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mother tried to tell me that nicotine is the only substance that ensures weight loss, and that nicotine has been passed down in our family for over 5 generations of heavy smoking relatives. Then she encouraged me to start smoking. FML

#16776471
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41554) - you deserved it (3278)

On 06/21/2011 at 3:08am - health - by Caeru (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after years of training myself to crave healthier foods in order to lose weight, I found out that some of my favorite health-foods actually aggravate my hypothyroidism, and indirectly reduce my metabolism. Broccoli and soybeans are making me fat. FML

#18271623
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26940) - you deserved it (3278)

On 11/17/2011 at 9:34am - health - by healthfoodshmealthfood - United States (New York)

Today, my 24-year-old brother again yelled at me for looking at him while he was on the toilet. It'd be easier not to if he didn't sit on the toilet with the door wide open, and if the bathroom wasn't directly opposite my bedroom. FML

#20438837
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30832) - you deserved it (3278)

On 01/02/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I finally found a place to stay after being kicked out by my parents. The psycho owner waited till now to tell me that my bathroom door will remain locked at all times, and that whenever I want to go in there, I have to ask him to unlock it, then do my business while he waits outside. FML

#20926435
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41057) - you deserved it (3278)

On 10/19/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Belize (Belize)

Today, my biology professor was giving a lecture to everyone and used me as an example. For what? Traits men are repulsed by in potential mates. FML

#21119838
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38612) - you deserved it (3278)

On 04/22/2014 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was meeting my husband's old friends at his 20 year high school reunion. He introduced me as his 'friend from work' to his ex girlfriend. FML

#12224799
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38586) - you deserved it (3277)

On 07/31/2010 at 11:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after my two credit cards were stolen, thousands were charged before I could cancel. The thief dropped nearly $1,000 at Juicy Couture, so she/he is somewhere laughing at me in a magenta, rhinestoned "leisure suit." FML

#15069321
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25932) - you deserved it (3277)

On 02/21/2011 at 8:21pm - money - by MBC - United States

Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML

#19355965
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19890) - you deserved it (3277)

On 03/27/2012 at 3:40am - misc - by blueglover - United States (California)

Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML

#19990004
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21867) - you deserved it (3277)

On 07/29/2012 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, my parents left on a trip. I wanted to invite my girlfriend over for a few days so we could spend them together. Then my grandparents turn up, "just for a few days, until your parents return, so you won't be alone in this big house." FML

#19566748
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23632) - you deserved it (3277)

On 05/03/2012 at 12:39am - love - by homealone (man) - Canada

Today, I almost got run over on my bike by a truck who raced through a red light. After narrowly avoiding a collision, the car slowed down. Instead of apologizing for almost killing me, the driver stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "Nice ass!" FML

#20854169
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37838) - you deserved it (3277)

On 08/25/2013 at 8:10pm - misc - by etgohome (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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