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Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML

#19276997
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20483) - you deserved it (3329)

On 03/14/2012 at 11:19am - money - by me - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML

#20400337
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31900) - you deserved it (3329)

On 12/15/2012 at 3:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

#20881272
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40086) - you deserved it (3329)

On 09/14/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at the age of 23, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. My father swabbed his mouth for DNA and fingerprinted him. FML

Today, I had to listen to a girl who just came back from the bathroom, talk about the "gigantic massive dump" she took, and even held her hands up to show the size. FML

#8835059
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21770) - you deserved it (3328)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:51pm - misc - by Grossed_out (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML

#19235270
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21270) - you deserved it (3328)

On 03/07/2012 at 8:08pm - work - by Janitor (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I confessed to my co-worker that I've secretly loved him for months. He laughed hysterically for about a minute straight before shaking his head and excusing himself from the store. Even the fact that my boss fired him for leaving early isn't cheering me up. FML

#19965538
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20675) - you deserved it (3328)

On 07/20/2012 at 9:59pm - love - by Alanis (woman) - United States

Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML

#20740202
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45592) - you deserved it (3328)

On 06/22/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friendly neighbor asked me to check in on his apartment every few days while he's gone on vacation. You can imagine my horror when I walked in for the first time and found out he's a snake breeder. Twelve more days to go. FML

#21302388
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30161) - you deserved it (3328)

On 11/19/2014 at 9:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my father took revenge on me for bankrupting him in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consisted of having a truckload of sand dumped in my driveway while I was at work. FML

#20966996
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39698) - you deserved it (3327)

On 11/22/2013 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me because we are different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML

#6778697
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42045) - you deserved it (3326)

On 12/16/2009 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML

#11804292
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35481) - you deserved it (3326)

On 07/11/2010 at 2:06am - health - by Cheyenne - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

#15207309
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40861) - you deserved it (3327)

On 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm - misc - by devinbyrne - United States (Texas)



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