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Today, I discovered that my husband is a tad paranoid after finding out that our cat has worms. He and I were in the middle of sharing a romantic shower following something of a dry spell when he bent over, spread his cheeks apart and asked, in earnest, "is there a worm sticking out of my ass?" FML

#12926382
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34177) - you deserved it (3308)

On 09/06/2010 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend pushed me into the swimming pool. Unfortunately, we were eight feet away from the actual pool, so I face-planted and rolled in. FML

#16510311
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36552) - you deserved it (3308)

On 06/05/2011 at 3:00am - misc - by kyle - United States (Ohio)

Today, I signed up for a psych experiment. I was a damsel in distress on the side of the highway, but no one stopped. Back at the lab, another participant said a half dozen people helped her. The professor was testing how attractiveness effects altruism. I was the unattractive subject. FML

#6651455
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35752) - you deserved it (3307)

On 12/07/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my grandma got up at 6:30am, clattered about the bathroom then sang religious songs at the top of her voice for half an hour. Apparently this is her normal routine, weekends included. She is staying with us for a month. FML

#15705276
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28881) - you deserved it (3307)

On 04/09/2011 at 4:21am - misc - by Riley (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, four hours before a test, I received an email from my professor saying that the test had been canceled. When I checked my email again before bed, I found another email from my professor saying that his email had been hacked and the test was was still on. FML

#15680031
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37535) - you deserved it (3307)

On 04/07/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Puerto Rico)

Today, my wife tried to refill the windshield wiper fluid on her own. However, she poured it where the oil goes. Now the car is having major issues. Last week I lost my job, and I have no idea how much this is going to cost to fix. FML

#17619423
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30385) - you deserved it (3307)

On 08/30/2011 at 5:35am - money - by BadTime (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend invited me over so I went, not thinking anything of it. To my surprise, he broke up with me. I was pretty upset, and as I was leaving his mom hands me a box. When I got home I opened it. His mom baked me a break up cake. FML

#2290752
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52289) - you deserved it (3306)

On 05/25/2009 at 9:15pm - love - by cakegirl (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked a girl I like to homecoming. I brought her to my house beforehand for dinner with my family. My brother asked her whether we were just friends or dating, she shouts "Just friends!" and then starts flirting with him with me in the room. FML

#5744040
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35521) - you deserved it (3306)

On 10/09/2009 at 6:11pm - misc - by Charon - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend because he's been working extra hard these last two months. I went to his house only to find him in bed with another girl. Standing there, with fifteen roses in my hands, all he could say was, "Thank you, can you put them in a vase?" FML

#13497431
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39815) - you deserved it (3306)

On 10/18/2010 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I politely asked my friend if she would repay me the £20 she owes me. She shouted at me, called me an insensitive bitch, and refuses to pay me back as apparently she can't afford to. Her holiday to Italy next week begs to differ. FML

#11625118
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30852) - you deserved it (3306)

On 07/03/2010 at 12:15am - misc - by learntmylesson - Sent from mobile version

Today, when I went to pick my kid up from daycare, I found out that he had run away. The rest of my afternoon consisted of me screaming his name, looking for him. I then returned to the daycare center. He thought it would be funny if he hid in the trash. FML

#14560893
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28494) - you deserved it (3306)

On 01/12/2011 at 11:42pm - kids - by tatortot7707 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got the worst sunburn I've ever had in my life, and then discovered I'm allergic to aloe when I went to treat the burn with some gel. FML

#17288890
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29308) - you deserved it (3306)

On 07/28/2011 at 5:36pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, while trying to prove a point to my mom, I learned that bird seed tastes better than her cooking. FML

#18765648
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22478) - you deserved it (3306)

On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - misc - by NJ <3 - United States



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