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Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML

#18497934
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20041) - you deserved it (2544)

On 12/12/2011 at 9:04pm - misc - by unknown - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to explain to my 15-year-old son why it wouldn't be a good idea to include a picture of the red Power Ranger in his "Weapons throughout history" project. FML

#19365320
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14040) - you deserved it (2544)

On 03/28/2012 at 6:49pm - kids - by laststand11 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML

#19526031
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20242) - you deserved it (2544)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:46am - work - by foshizzle (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I spoke to my ex again for the first time after our breakup. The first words out of his mouth were, "I love you, so I'm going to have to confess some things in the hopes that my honesty will help us get back together." It didn't, but it does mean I have to get tested now. FML

#19546039
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26505) - you deserved it (2544)

On 04/29/2012 at 2:41am - health - by Anne - United States

Today, while refereeing a soccer game, I was accused of being racist, blind, and a fascist by spectators. The game was played by a group of third graders. FML

#20957478
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34523) - you deserved it (2544)

On 11/14/2013 at 12:21pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#17390197
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29170) - you deserved it (2543)

On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while at a concert, I stepped into a restroom to use my nasal spray since my allergies were acting up. Apparently, someone thought that I had been snorting coke in the stall. I was escorted outside and had to wait for the cops until I could explain everything. I missed the headliner. FML

#20677338
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39274) - you deserved it (2543)

On 05/21/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got a lovely little surprise after I got out of the shower. That lovely little surprise? I got stung in the scrotum by a hornet that had decided to nestle itself inside the towel I was drying off with. FML

#4256905
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49268) - you deserved it (2542)

On 08/03/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Tyler (man) - United States

Today, I realized that the only boy who ever called me pretty was my 5-year-old brother. My sister then scolded him for lying. FML

#13825613
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27094) - you deserved it (2542)

On 11/13/2010 at 9:25am - kids - by blueheron93 (woman) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, while enjoying a nice dinner out, I observed a homeless man giggling hysterically to himself while wiping boogers on my bike seat and handlebars. FML

#15844059
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26511) - you deserved it (2542)

On 04/19/2011 at 4:23am - misc - by BerkeleyBiker (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple and a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple, and the socks are too small. FML

#20566329
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36580) - you deserved it (2542)

On 03/30/2013 at 12:06am - misc - by ShellShocked - United States

Today, at school, I got stuck in the elevator and was about to panic before I remembered I had my phone. I called my mother and she called the school to tell them that I was stuck. They got me out in a few minutes and then confiscated my phone and gave me two detentions for using it in school. FML

#6252337
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41643) - you deserved it (2541)

On 11/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by noexceptions (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boss became obsessed with a movie about a pimp. He now refers to all my female coworkers as his "bitches" and refuses to treat us like human beings. Whenever we make a mistake, he rolls his eyes and laughs, "So typical of a prostie." FML

#19736092
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28218) - you deserved it (2541)

On 06/04/2012 at 11:47pm - work - by kufan1324 - United States



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