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Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

#19410577
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36258) - you deserved it (2992)

On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I've been bedridden for the past two weeks. My boyfriend casually remarked that he understands now why some people cheat on their seriously-ill partners. Thanks for adding to the stress, sweetie. FML

#20797672
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44558) - you deserved it (2992)

On 07/22/2013 at 2:30pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I was working as the shift manager at my job at a fast food restaurant. Our company policy states that all employees must be clean shaven before coming to work. I had to inform one of the employees, Kris, that they had to shave before clocking in. Kris is a woman. FML

#766931
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64302) - you deserved it (2991)

On 04/02/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, was my wedding day. Right before I walked down the aisle in my gorgeous white dress the woman who did my makeup saw a blemish. She went to squirt concealer on her finger and squirted the orange concealer all over my dress. FML

#3503647
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55883) - you deserved it (2991)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:48pm - love - by squirt (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it was my birthday. I got ONE birthday greeting: from my bank, telling me they were closing my account. FML

#14785892
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28795) - you deserved it (2991)

On 01/31/2011 at 8:55am - misc - by Micawber - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

#20083358
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20243) - you deserved it (2991)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:12am - animals - by Grauncho - United States (Illinois)

Today, I left for a one and a half month trip to Japan with my boyfriend. He promptly broke up with me the first night in the hotel. When asked why he couldn't have waited until the trip was over, he said he didn't want to create "false memories". FML

#20729993
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42158) - you deserved it (2991)

On 06/16/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by VacationRuined (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I was let down for a movie date. As I'd already paid for the tickets, I got my narcoleptic sister to come and sit next to me while she slept, so it didn't look like I came on my own. FML

#20895886
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31682) - you deserved it (2991)

On 09/25/2013 at 6:12pm - love - by cinemasaddo (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

#21202372
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41199) - you deserved it (2991)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:26am - work - by MaddyN - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was taking the AP Biology exam. It’s strictly timed, yet my proctor spent 30 minutes (a third of the time we have) talking about his sexual relationship with his wife, who was also proctoring. I don’t know how I did on the test, but I now know my proctor had erectile dysfunction. FML

#1842179
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58210) - you deserved it (2990)

On 05/11/2009 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by JSF1234 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was closing at work when someone came in ten minutes before close (2am) and placed a huge order. I couldn't turn him away because he's my manager from my other job. He was drunk. FML

#12807710
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26917) - you deserved it (2990)

On 08/29/2010 at 4:37pm - work - by xharuki - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at work, my boss made me spend a hour trying to catch a baby raccoon in the parking lot. I'm a bank teller. FML

#13525218
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24982) - you deserved it (2990)

On 10/20/2010 at 2:08pm - work - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going to give up for Lent. The first one was "Sex with other men". FML

#19159712
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39134) - you deserved it (2990)

On 02/25/2012 at 9:35am - intimacy - by fmylifebigtime - United States (Massachusetts)



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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