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Today, I was walking back to my dorm with my boyfriend. He was being really sweet as he held my hand. We were about to kiss goodnight and as he pushed some hair out of my face he said, "Can we hurry it up? I'm about to rip one." FML

#21289293
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29663) - you deserved it (3370)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:39pm - love - by grossedout -

Today, after sex, my boyfriend turned to me and said, "You know, sometimes, you look like Kevin Spacey." FML

#18832495
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26135) - you deserved it (3369)

On 01/17/2012 at 3:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Libyan Arab Jamahiriya

Today, my boyfriend became a magician. His best trick? The disappearing act. FML

#21292946
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30499) - you deserved it (3369)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:11pm - love - by highheelcyanide (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

#4820623
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53646) - you deserved it (3368)

On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that the excessive groin sweating I've been trying to deal with for weeks isn't groin sweating. It's a slow and steady stream of urine that I have no control over. FML

#5743316
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48413) - you deserved it (3368)

On 10/09/2009 at 5:25pm - health - by lizzzie (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, my mom told my dad to get me extra absorbent pads, very loudly, in a crowded mall. FML

#13904254
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26109) - you deserved it (3368)

On 11/19/2010 at 9:45pm - misc - by Dammit... - United States (California)

Today, my boss is still refusing to hire any more people because he's convinced I can handle all of the work after the majority of staff quit. FML

#21217678
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41748) - you deserved it (3368)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:51pm - work - by Inthedumps (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend refused to have his hair treated against lice, because "men don't have lice". FML

#14130110
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26753) - you deserved it (3367)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:56am - health - by scratchy (woman) - Israel (HaDarom)

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

#14952962
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34942) - you deserved it (3367)

On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was driving my motorcycle, and I noticed someone was in the ditch, so I went to go help them. When the ambulance showed up, they ran over my bike, totaling it. FML

#16734603
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38165) - you deserved it (3367)

On 06/18/2011 at 9:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my boyfriend was introducing me to some business partners. As he was going along telling me their names, when he introduced me, he called me by my best friend's name. FML

#16043135
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38919) - you deserved it (3367)

On 05/04/2011 at 10:50am - love - by ohmylantis (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my friend called me at work to tell me that someone had hit my motorcycle and that it was in pretty bad shape. I chuckled and waited for the "April fools" that would follow. A picture of my wrecked bike came instead. FML

#15589455
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34882) - you deserved it (3366)

On 04/01/2011 at 1:50pm - misc - by Username - United States (Missouri)

Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML

#17140315
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28502) - you deserved it (3366)

On 07/16/2011 at 8:17pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)



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