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Today, I was supervising a written exam, which took place in a really warm room. Half of the two hundred participants has probably never heard of deodorants. The other half used probably the whole can this morning. I had to stay in this inferno of stench for five hours. FML

#21103838
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40077) - you deserved it (3751)

On 04/03/2014 at 5:48pm - work - by RIP_Nose (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I planned on telling the girl I like that I have feelings for her. What I didn't plan on was having a panic attack and whispering "I really like you!" super creepily and immediately saying "bye" and running away in shame. FML

Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice, we were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes she asked me "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?". She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML

#3154627
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48063) - you deserved it (3750)

On 06/23/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by Jpah (man) - United States (California)

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#17390197
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38549) - you deserved it (3750)

On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while taking the subway home, a woman offered me her seat. I smiled and declined. She said she insisted because of my "pregnancy". I was too ashamed to say I'm not pregnant that I just took the seat. FML

#21472161
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21509) - you deserved it (3750)

On 09/24/2015 at 10:33am - misc - by pinkpurplegurl - China

Today, I got home from a small vacation. Before I left, I set up cameras in my room to see if my roommate was stealing my money. Turns out she wasn't. However, she does borrow my personal "adult toy" whenever I'm out. FML

#6213926
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24977) - you deserved it (3749)

On 11/08/2009 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by grossedout (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I told my girlfriend that her mom doesn't give us any privacy when we're at their place. I suggested that we go to my place for a change, and she agreed. Her mom called my house three times to see what we were doing. We're well beyond teenagers. FML

#4992541
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46881) - you deserved it (3749)

On 09/02/2009 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML

#6422671
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40179) - you deserved it (3749)

On 11/23/2009 at 4:11pm - love - by TheGirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in the car with my mom. We were discussing my brother, how he's been screwing up majorly lately and she blamed it on his friends. Then she turned to me and said, "It's a good thing you've never had any friends." FML

#14189966
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30871) - you deserved it (3749)

On 12/13/2010 at 11:29am - misc - by Amanda - United States

Today, I spent the first day of the new year helping out at an old folks home. I was assigned to watch over a group which includes the delightful Earnie; an 83 year old delusional man who sees absolutely no problem with showing off "what the good lord gave him" every chance he gets. FML

#14427516
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29019) - you deserved it (3749)

On 01/01/2011 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by Username - United States (California)

Today, I told a guy at work about my boyfriend. His immediate response was to ask me if I was making him up. He's the third person to react this way. FML

#17910892
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28529) - you deserved it (3749)

On 10/05/2011 at 12:03pm - work - by UglyApparently (woman) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, at a staff meeting, our boss sighed and asked why I'm always in the meetings instead of my co-worker. I reminded him that it's because I'm the department supervisor, not my co-worker. He wouldn't believe me until he saw it for himself in our personnel files. FML

#21084802
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40236) - you deserved it (3749)

On 03/12/2014 at 12:02pm - work - by KBBL (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

#6481
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49087) - you deserved it (3748)

On 02/03/2009 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by BRELLA (man) - United States (North Carolina)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

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