Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was told that I will never be able to have children. Thankfully for my husband, his girlfriend sure can. FML

#15252326
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50264) - you deserved it (3467)

On 03/09/2011 at 5:08pm - love - by sosad -

Today, I found out my mom intentionally puts extra butter and oil in the food she cooks for me because she wants me to be fatter than her. FML

#16355568
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54738) - you deserved it (3467)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:24am - health - by fatteningmeup (woman) - United States

Today, I was sitting on my balcony reading a book. My upstairs neighbors thought that would be a good time to water their flowers. I'm now drenched in water, as is my book. FML

#16103716
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29800) - you deserved it (3467)

On 05/09/2011 at 11:05am - misc - by Nelson - Sweden

Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML

#16687724
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41510) - you deserved it (3467)

On 06/16/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Ari (man) - United States (California)

Today, after putting an ad on Craigslist to sell a coat, I finally got a call. The guy on the phone seemed interested, and was especially curious to know if I could "model" it for him, in "stockings and suspenders." FML

#19552915
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24124) - you deserved it (3467)

On 04/30/2012 at 11:50am - intimacy - by NotAModel (woman) - United States

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

#20692945
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46869) - you deserved it (3468)

On 05/29/2013 at 11:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a customer cussed me out for hiding behind the counter a jacket she's been "eyeing since it came out". She loudly exclaimed that she was going to report me to my manager and get me "fired." It was my personal jacket that we don't even sell. FML

Today, my mom found a box full of stuff she had been looking for. She starts going through it and finds baby pictures of my sister and I as well as pictures of the cats. She puts my baby pictures back in the box and closes the lid. The cat pictures are now hanging in her living room. FML

#656322
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47384) - you deserved it (3466)

On 03/28/2009 at 1:38am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML

#5378920
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37267) - you deserved it (3466)

On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my entire extended family was over for Christmas. I opened a gift to see that it was a fruitcake and saw everyone looking at me, smiling. This is their way to tell me that they know I'm gay and that they accept me. I'm straight. FML

#6940089
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34932) - you deserved it (3466)

On 12/25/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (California)

Today, my uncle got me a debit card and put $1000 on it for my Christmas present. However, he forgot to activate the card. The receipt with the 14-digit activation code is in the garbage in Colorado. FML

#6945221
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28460) - you deserved it (3466)

On 12/25/2009 at 8:20pm - money - by kraziikayce (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39459) - you deserved it (3466)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I was chosen as King for our winter formal. Even after I won, nobody wanted to dance with me. FML

#14954492
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29381) - you deserved it (3466)

On 02/13/2011 at 2:16am - misc - by Average - United States (Iowa)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: