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Today, I parked three streets away despite the ungodly cold. I did this because in the past, on my street, I have had my car keyed, my tires slashed, and my side view mirror ripped off. When I went back out to my car, I found that someone had broken off my windshield wipers. FML

#14824101
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26657) - you deserved it (3004)

On 02/03/2011 at 7:52am - misc - by vikingunicorn (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me by maniacally zooming in and out of traffic while we were on his motorcycle. His mood turned to anger when I nervously admitted to having voided my bowels. FML

#19350917
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20163) - you deserved it (3004)

On 03/26/2012 at 12:15pm - misc - by Shantwozzlah (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit at me because I laughed at her idea of getting the Cullen family tree tattooed on her back. FML

#20079438
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28834) - you deserved it (3004)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:22pm - love - by Shame (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom asked me if I had an eating problem because I've been eating less. I only started eating less because she told me I ate too much. FML

#26986
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33398) - you deserved it (3003)

On 02/11/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by hungry - United States (Virginia)

Today, after a small fight with my girlfriend, I started to miss her, so I typed her name into Google on a whim. Surprisingly, I find a link to a blog in which the owner describes his ongoing effort to seduce my girl. During times she told me she was alone. Thanks babe. FML

#13442639
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26871) - you deserved it (3003)

On 10/14/2010 at 4:00am - love - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML

#12850855
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28420) - you deserved it (3003)

On 09/01/2010 at 4:27am - misc - by Michelle (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I broke my toe. After telling my friend about it, he promptly stomped on it to "see what my reaction would be." FML

#13083989
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28469) - you deserved it (3003)

On 09/17/2010 at 7:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML

#13235832
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38398) - you deserved it (3003)

On 09/28/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Jake - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by showing up at my work and proposing to me. It was sweet until an angry customer bitched us out for "wasting her time." FML

#20141262
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24424) - you deserved it (3003)

On 10/31/2012 at 2:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

#20458321
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34312) - you deserved it (3003)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I noticed fraudulent charges made in Florida that nearly drained my bank account. After reporting the fraud to the bank, I returned home from a weekend away to find a note from my husband. He and his mistress have run off to Florida to start a life together, apparently at my expense. FML

#20810887
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52990) - you deserved it (3003)

On 07/30/2013 at 1:09am - money - by brokeandalone (woman) - United States

Today, I let my mother use my computer for school work. Later that day my mom asks me what's wrong with the computer. I look at it, only seeing a "Welcome to Windows XP" screen. She said that she saw a blue screen and pressed L and C when it asked her to. My mom managed to clear my hard drive. FML

#5843241
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28702) - you deserved it (3002)

On 10/15/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by artiemilano (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I met my wife's other husband. FML

#6436745
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38200) - you deserved it (3002)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by bmonehh (man) - United States (Texas)



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