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Today, I was doing a science presentation about glucose. There was around 20 judges at the event who could've judged me, but instead I got judged by the only person in the whole entire world who doesn't know what glucose is and doesn't think it exists. FML

#21066140
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41943) - you deserved it (3020)

On 02/20/2014 at 12:27am - work - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out the reason I can't get a job. My previous employer didn't know my name, so when places I applied to called there for a reference, my boss said he had no recollection of me working there. FML

#11010469
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28191) - you deserved it (3019)

On 06/06/2010 at 1:36pm - work - by duko3000 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, instead of having my friends come pick me up, my dad drove me over to visit them. He insisted on walking me up to the door, hugging me goodbye, and making sure my friends were appropriate enough to hang out with. I'm in college. FML

#19742208
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22295) - you deserved it (3019)

On 06/06/2012 at 1:26am - misc - by that girl. - United States

Today, I spent hours crafting a tiara to look like the princess from my boyfriend's favourite game series, Zelda. I sent him a picture of me wearing it, and got the reply: "Sure, that's nice, but you'd be better as Majora." FML

#20079245
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17873) - you deserved it (3019)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:25pm - love - by MT (woman) - Finland

Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML

#20552364
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33518) - you deserved it (3019)

On 03/20/2013 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I moved into a new house, I couldn't help but notice a car alarm going off, so I investigated my neighbors. Turns out it's their bird. It imitates chainsaws, car alarms, and much more. FML

#20908147
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42408) - you deserved it (3019)

On 10/05/2013 at 9:51am - animals - by Mike Messenger - United States (Florida)

Today, it was my one year anniversary with my boyfriend. We had dinner reservations to an expensive restaurant and planned to see a movie after. At least, we did, until he called to tell me he'd volunteered to work tonight. He won't get off until 2am. FML

#8824480
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21259) - you deserved it (3018)

On 03/04/2010 at 3:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, we were in the car with my puppy, who favours my sister. She had been sat on her lap for a while, when she stood up and climbed onto my lap. I was really pleased until she peed on me and then went straight back to my sister. FML

#13082882
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29811) - you deserved it (3018)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by PuppyPeeTimee. - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I was called to reports of a drunk and disorderly male. I arrived to discover a drunk man having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me me and shouted 'God save the Queen'. It's then that I remembered that it's my job to do something about it. FML

#13444115
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28966) - you deserved it (3018)

On 10/14/2010 at 9:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Reserved

Today, my kids decided putting laxatives in my coffee would loosen me up and calm my nerves. I have a 3 hour long meeting soon. FML

#17333290
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29352) - you deserved it (3018)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:05pm - kids - by burn - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mother thinks I'm a loser and a scumbag. We haven't even met yet. FML

#16807488
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27914) - you deserved it (3019)

On 06/22/2011 at 11:00pm - love - by arekusa - United States (New York)

Today, my uncle gave me a lecture on how I eat too much "unhealthy" junk food, and that it can be very harmful for me. All the while smoking a cigarette. FML

#19741419
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19111) - you deserved it (3018)

On 06/05/2012 at 10:59pm - health - by Singapore - United States (New York)

Today, while jogging, a guy tackled me and got my iPhone. Being a good runner, I caught up with him and grabbed him. Next thing I knew, I was on the ground with a policeman yelling in my ear. The guy got away. FML

#20764590
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51904) - you deserved it (3018)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)



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  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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