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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML

#18630466
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31267) - you deserved it (3103)

On 12/28/2011 at 12:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after finally giving up on the search for my lost dog, I realized that my neighbors had found her and are convinced that she was a stray. They won't give her up and are now mad at me for trying to take my own dog back. FML

#1078631
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68065) - you deserved it (3102)

On 04/18/2009 at 2:45am - animals - by englishtrio (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took a friend out for what I thought was date. After dinner was over and I paid, she pulled the bill out and wrote her name phone number on it for the waiter. FML

#51117
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46794) - you deserved it (3102)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I used a fire extinguisher for the first time. Too bad it was on my car. FML

#16523437
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25094) - you deserved it (3102)

On 06/06/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, after spending over $1000 on plane tickets, I'm visiting my family for the first time in five years. Two hours after I arrived, everyone is screaming at each other and taking their rage out on me. They still ask why I never visit. FML

#17157621
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29448) - you deserved it (3102)

On 07/18/2011 at 1:09am - misc - by Kurochrome - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years asked my dad if he could marry me, and my dad agreed. He then tells me that he's not going to propose for maybe another year at least, he "just wanted to get that out of the way." FML

#18610596
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26662) - you deserved it (3102)

On 12/25/2011 at 8:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, the love of my life, and long term partner, sat me down and told me that he feels so comfortable in our relationship that he no longer feels the need to have sex with me, and he doesn't think that that will ever change. FML

#20162862
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31583) - you deserved it (3102)

On 11/14/2012 at 5:36am - intimacy - by nolove - Australia

Today, I opened my Christmas present from my parents. I got a road-side assistance package. I don't own a vehicle, and I don't even have a driver's license. FML

#20420365
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28079) - you deserved it (3102)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - misc - by CambodianAsshole (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out after spending my life's income on paying for my grandma's cancer treatment that she has been faking it. FML

#20859354
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54035) - you deserved it (3102)

On 08/29/2013 at 2:48pm - health - by scammed (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML

#4293059
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46826) - you deserved it (3101)

On 08/04/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by andi0804 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML

#7760741
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25666) - you deserved it (3101)

On 01/31/2010 at 10:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was released from jail. I had helped a three year old girl get up after falling on a wet floor at the mall last night when the security guards tasered me. Only this morning did they tell me they had mistaken me for a child molester that looks a little bit like me. FML

#14710569
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41593) - you deserved it (3101)

On 01/25/2011 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after having my car been broken into the day before because I didn't lock it, I made sure I locked my doors. When I got off shift and entered the parking lot, I noticed a brick had been thrown through my windshield and a note that said, "Nice Try". FML

#17037512
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38999) - you deserved it (3101)

On 07/09/2011 at 3:04am - misc - by JohnyP - United States (Ohio)



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