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Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I told her best friend the plan the day before. I got reservations to a restaurant on the beach, and we were going to arrive via boat. She never showed. Her parents called me asking why she left town to go to Paris. FML

#6926336
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29156) - you deserved it (2563)

On 12/24/2009 at 6:37pm - love - by hoplessG (man) - United States

Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML

#8473008
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18796) - you deserved it (2563)

On 02/20/2010 at 9:03am - health - by bcoper - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a call from this drunk man, asking for Celeste. Since I don't know any Celestes, I told him that he had the wrong number. He kept calling for her. Apparently he can't take a hint that she didn't give him her real number, and I get to deal with him. FML

#15447160
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25785) - you deserved it (2564)

On 03/23/2011 at 10:58am - misc - by jeanstein -

Today, I had diarrhea at work. While trying to be subtle about the noises, the woman in the stall next to me called me by name and asked if I was having trouble. FML

#17066574
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29643) - you deserved it (2563)

On 07/11/2011 at 1:42pm - work - by Username - United States

Today, it's my last day before I get my colonoscopy. I've been on a strict chicken broth and jello diet in preparation. My dad thought it would be hilarious to drag me out to one of the best restaurants in town just so I could watch everyone else eat their delicious meals. FML

#20849387
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40120) - you deserved it (2563)

On 08/22/2013 at 1:56pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Cavite)

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

#21104869
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40593) - you deserved it (2563)

On 04/05/2014 at 12:04am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML

#21106030
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41438) - you deserved it (2563)

On 04/06/2014 at 3:37pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, at work the police were looking over video footage of an incident earlier in the day where a car had slammed hard into another one in the carpark. My manager came into the kitchen and asked if I wanted to come see it to for a laugh. The car that got hit was mine. FML

#742330
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69364) - you deserved it (2562)

On 04/01/2009 at 6:07am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mother got remarried. I am now officially older than my step-father. FML

#13646131
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43044) - you deserved it (2562)

On 10/30/2010 at 2:33am - love - by Stephie2009 - United States

Today, I attended my first meeting with my bosses. For lunch we went to a restaurant. I choked on a piece of meat and couldn't breathe anymore. I had to take that piece of meat out of my throat with my fingers, and then put it back on my plate all chewed up. FML

#453
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17979) - you deserved it (2561)

On 12/05/2008 at 7:49am - work - by Macdaddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was approached by a girl who called me a slut for sleeping with her boyfriend, then punched me in the face. I'm a virgin. FML

#98260
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63531) - you deserved it (2561)

On 02/21/2009 at 6:37pm - misc - by well then... (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, feeling confident, I asked my boyfriend what he thought of my new body, since I had lost 16 kilos over the past month. He told me that he missed the old me and wanted me to gain weight again. My boyfriend was the one that encouraged me to lose weight in the first place. FML

#7193385
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22059) - you deserved it (2561)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:36am - health - by Srain (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was riding on the bus, when I felt a weird sensation on my hair. The person behind me was petting it. FML

#17182266
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28215) - you deserved it (2561)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:29pm - misc - by imnotacat (woman) - United States (Washington)



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Thursday 10 April 2014

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