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Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML

#18364433
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37517) - you deserved it (3088)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I found out via Facebook status that my boyfriend is going to Hawaii with a group of friends, including his ex-girlfriend for a few weeks. When I confronted him about it, he said he didn't think I needed to know, and to mind my own business. I think I'm about to be single. FML

#19661791
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29644) - you deserved it (3088)

On 05/22/2012 at 10:32am - love - by angry girlfriend - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

#20919796
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42051) - you deserved it (3088)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized that my dog is a pro at pooping directly in shoes. FML

#21257810
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30954) - you deserved it (3088)

On 09/13/2014 at 11:38pm - animals - by new dog - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mom asked me to look through old VHS tapes to throw away, I found one that said "Ashley's kindergarten Play-'95", I put the tape in, it begins to play, only to see "Days of our lives", "Melrose Place", and "ER". My childhood memories are ranked lower than tv shows. FML

#863008
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53781) - you deserved it (3087)

On 04/07/2009 at 10:53pm - love - by 4gottenmemories (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boss called me into his office. Expecting a long overdue promotion, I hurried in. Instead, he told me he thought I would be perfect to take his son on a pity date, because he is at a suicide risk from depression. FML

#16338194
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32634) - you deserved it (3087)

On 05/25/2011 at 1:21am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. I woke up right as the dentist pulled my last tooth. FML

#20708877
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48979) - you deserved it (3087)

On 06/06/2013 at 1:01am - health - by Applejacks18 (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

#18368506
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22123) - you deserved it (3086)

On 11/27/2011 at 5:46pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, we had our whole staff photo. We all had to stand up in rows in height order, as I'm tall I had to stand in the middle, at the back. I'm horribly claustrophobic and ended up fainting in front of 100 colleagues, taking down 4 people around me. FML

#19144680
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22087) - you deserved it (3086)

On 02/23/2012 at 7:11am - work - by photofaint - United Kingdom (London)

Today, an attractive guy came up to me and told me that I looked sexy in a picture online. He then asked himself why he had never asked me out before. Apparently, he doesn't remember our 6-month relationship, or how it ended when he slept with my sister. FML

#20548927
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42767) - you deserved it (3086)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:28am - love - by mcds2 (woman) - United States

Today, I went to work at my job as a secretary. I had been given the task to file my boss's collection of Playboy magazines alphabetically by name of the centerfold. There was one for every month from the years of 1980 until now. FML

#20895973
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35553) - you deserved it (3086)

On 09/25/2013 at 7:22pm - work - by Abcporn (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

#20925456
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38113) - you deserved it (3087)

On 10/18/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by DocBastard, meet DocCunt (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at 7 in the morning, I end up outside in a night dress, with bare feet and in the rain. I've just found out that my two year old son now knows how to close the patio door, which of course, has no outside door handle. FML

#685
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18772) - you deserved it (3085)

On 01/02/2009 at 8:22pm - kids - by lilou - Sent from mobile version



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