Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up to my kids shaking me, saying, "Get up, Santa was here!" I got up to find my TV, computer and MacBook Air all gone. FML

#14191427
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36403) - you deserved it (3064)

On 12/13/2010 at 2:32pm - kids - by crazycora (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML

#19738484
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27342) - you deserved it (3064)

On 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by why... (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I received a bouquet of flowers. I thought they might be from my crush, so I excitedly opened the card. It was from my druggie ex-boyfriend, who apparently can't move on with his life even after three years. The contents of the card? "Baby, I got you like a habit, and I can't give you up". FML

#8250207
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21131) - you deserved it (3063)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:52pm - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my mother had a full-on hissy fit because of the clothes I was wearing. Not because she thought they were inappropriate, but because I was "stealing her look." FML

#20769263
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39008) - you deserved it (3063)

On 07/07/2013 at 7:41pm - misc - by malicious_melons - United States (California)

Today, I asked my husband to come upstairs to our bedroom, thinking I could get some "special time." It ended up with us arguing about his mother, and him falling asleep cuddling my pillow while sucking his thumb. FML

#20113138
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18976) - you deserved it (3063)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:15am - love - by anonymous2.0 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was rejected for an internship due to 'lack of experience.' I have both an MA and a BA from a highly prestigious school and years of work experience. My would-be superior: a 24 year old without a graduate degree and only one year of work experience. She wore jeans to the interview. FML

#7137648
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27513) - you deserved it (3062)

On 01/04/2010 at 12:29am - work - by screwed (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to file for bankruptcy because my ex-wife didn't want to pay for the house she didn't want me to have in the divorce, and didn't bother to have my name removed from the loan before she filed bankruptcy herself. FML

#8604257
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23125) - you deserved it (3062)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:22pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out that my mom screams like a dying monkey while having sex. Even with my music turned up all the way, I can still hear her through our paper thin walls. FML

#14867901
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35304) - you deserved it (3062)

On 02/06/2011 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dog threw up on my bed while I was sleeping. I lost an hour of the day washing the vomit out with a rag, and my garbage disposal jammed on whatever otherworldly things my dog ate the day before. I had to dig it out by hand. FML

#19123444
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19326) - you deserved it (3062)

On 02/20/2012 at 2:39pm - animals - by good_gravy (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend accidentally called me from his pocket. I thought it would be funny to see what him and his friends were talking about. I laughed when I heard him talking about us fooling around until I realized it wasn't me. FML

#5839151
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32007) - you deserved it (3061)

On 10/15/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Em - Sent from mobile version

Today, my friends and I rented a party bus, which broke down on the highway 45 minutes into the ride. I paid the guy for the whole four hours. He said he was going to flag down a car to get someone to help us. We saw him get into a car and leave. FML

#17253464
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27588) - you deserved it (3061)

On 07/25/2011 at 12:08pm - money - by tim12345 - United States

Today, I had an interview. I didn't get the job because apparently customers might not understand me, since I "talk too good." I just graduated with an English degree. FML

#11808834
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33554) - you deserved it (3060)

On 07/11/2010 at 10:44am - work - by alejandro38 - United States (New York)

Today, the girl I really liked started talking to me, so I asked her out on a date. After waiting an hour at the theatre, I texted her asking where she was. She replied with, "Oh! You were serious about the date?!" FML

#14621087
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33807) - you deserved it (3060)

On 01/18/2011 at 12:05am - love - by MCKilllerrr - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: