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Today, I was looking through my computer's history to find a website I had visited. I found an online forum where my son was discussing how to inject Oxycontin. FML

#8132477
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28759) - you deserved it (3412)

On 02/11/2010 at 2:58pm - kids - by Rehab (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I explained to my dad that I think I have a vaginal infection. I asked if he could take me to the doctor. He responded by saying, "Just shove some ice up there. It'll go away." FML

#18850090
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30837) - you deserved it (3412)

On 01/19/2012 at 12:14am - health - by hurts.to.pee - United States

Today, I received my first payment of child support from my estranged husband: $50 and a note that said he wouldn't be paying any more. FML

#19335600
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23730) - you deserved it (3412)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I received 5 missed calls from a florist stating that they were having problems delivering a bouquet from my ex. I was thrilled at the idea of a reconciliation. Turns out however that he just got mine and his new girlfriend's phone numbers confused. FML

#20747907
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38123) - you deserved it (3412)

On 06/26/2013 at 3:09am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my mother in-law made dessert. It was a beautiful chocolate cake, chocolate cookies, and every other thing had chocolate in it. I'm deathly allergic to chocolate and she knows this. FML

#20975692
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48322) - you deserved it (3412)

On 11/30/2013 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML

#21298452
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43278) - you deserved it (3412)

On 11/13/2014 at 5:20pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom went to a psychic. The reason? She has convinced herself that I'm gay, even though I've told her that I'm not and never have been. The psychic disagreed. Apparently, I'm bicurious with one of my guy friends. Guess who my mom believes? FML

#3137659
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55086) - you deserved it (3411)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in a shoe store. I picked up a shoe so I could look at it, but when I put it back on the shelf, the whole shelf fell down, making all the shoes fall to the ground. The people behind the counter started clapping. FML

#7090975
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22363) - you deserved it (3411)

On 01/01/2010 at 9:45pm - misc - by shoes (woman) - United States

Today, it's officially been two weeks since I found out I have mono. It's also been two weeks since anyone has visited me, called me, or even emailed me. The real kicker? I'm now fired from my job because they can't believe I can have mono twice in one year. I guess I'm just lucky that way. FML

#7770242
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27611) - you deserved it (3411)

On 02/01/2010 at 1:43am - health - by blah - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML

#15946238
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31924) - you deserved it (3411)

On 04/27/2011 at 6:50am - health - by c.m.g. -

Today, I realized that the redneck, hick, abusive family that my co-workers always joke about is my family. FML

#17958563
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24304) - you deserved it (3411)

On 10/11/2011 at 7:52am - work - by anon - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight. What was it over? He accused me of pronouncing MY name wrong. FML

#17658485
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31139) - you deserved it (3411)

On 09/04/2011 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML

#19170840
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18913) - you deserved it (3411)

On 02/26/2012 at 9:43pm - misc - by slickrick22 (man) - United States



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

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