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Today, I got a promotion and transfer at work. My first responsibility is to fire my soon to be father in-law. FML

#20708889
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55925) - you deserved it (3023)

On 06/06/2013 at 1:08am - work - by hesgonnahateme - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML

#19276990
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24842) - you deserved it (3022)

On 03/14/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by S. Michaels (man) - United States

Today, while cashiering at the drug store, I saw my ex-boyfriend, who I'm still completely in love with. Being the only cashier, I had to ring him up. He was buying condoms. FML

#19853920
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35063) - you deserved it (3022)

On 06/27/2012 at 1:05am - love - by tammy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, someone broke into my car by smashing the driver's side window. I'd be less irritated if they had just used the door handle; the lock has been broken for years. FML

#20467580
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28066) - you deserved it (3022)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:14am - money - by Perplexed - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my step mom and her kids moved in. This is my first night sharing a room with her daughter. She snores, sleep talks, and sleep scratches the side of the bed creating a sound like nails on a chalkboard. FML

#20753919
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45552) - you deserved it (3022)

On 06/29/2013 at 6:01am - kids - by mskawaiibat - United States (California)

Today, my mum dismissed my diagnosed schizophrenia as "too much time with those earphones in". FML

#20897726
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38369) - you deserved it (3022)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:56am - health - by awkwardology - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I saw photos of my boyfriend at his 25th birthday party. The one he told me was cancelled. FML

#5659886
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41277) - you deserved it (3021)

On 10/05/2009 at 9:55am - love - by Konstantine (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I thought it would be nice to take my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for my birthday. She got a little headache after we ordered, so she went outside to get some air. I ate a $100 meal and had Happy Birthday sang to me by the restaurant staff. Alone. FML

#5498731
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37511) - you deserved it (3021)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 7 year old brother decided that it would be fun to cut off my hair. I woke from a long nap after working the late shift, to about 15 inches of my long blonde hair all over my bed and floor. I now have bloody bald spots and really choppy hair about 3 inches long. He got away with it. FML

#6120189
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47096) - you deserved it (3021)

On 11/02/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by baldygirl (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML

#7189298
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61320) - you deserved it (3021)

On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I met my boyfriend's very strict and traditional Korean parents. I had to listen to them while they called me a skank and how I was fat and ugly compared to nice, pretty, Korean girls. They don't know I speak Korean. FML

#14184009
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46582) - you deserved it (3021)

On 12/12/2010 at 10:03pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I moved into my aunt's house. She had a little too much fun in the sixties and now tells everyone about her many imagined conquests, including her church minister and several has-been celebrities. As a plus, I discovered she has a habit of wandering around the house in the nude. FML

#8920023
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19441) - you deserved it (3021)

On 03/08/2010 at 2:31pm - misc - by Kristopher (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sleeping like a baby on our living room couch. My older brother and his friends lit my slippers on fire. While I was wearing them. They even took a video. FML

#17261377
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30563) - you deserved it (3021)

On 07/26/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by Ep1cF4ce - United States (New Jersey)



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