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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I returned home from a three-week vacation. None of my friends realized I'd been gone. FML

#17246685
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31583) - you deserved it (3777)

On 07/24/2011 at 10:34pm - misc - by 88_OP (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML

#21388006
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31924) - you deserved it (3777)

On 04/05/2015 at 11:38am - misc - by tardspawn (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, the only person to wish me a Happy Valentine's day was a wrong number calling my cell phone. FML

#14981056
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33219) - you deserved it (3776)

On 02/14/2011 at 10:07pm - love - by moe (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my brain-dead brother-in-law decided to play five finger fillet while at my place. Predictably, he ended up slicing a finger wide open. My mother-in-law now wants my blood, because she thinks I dared him to do it, and that clearly her perfect little angel couldn't be such a moron. FML

#21134881
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42263) - you deserved it (3776)

On 05/09/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by fmlgirl (woman) - Netherlands (Zeeland)

Today, I spent 20 minutes arguing with the class dipshit, trying to convince her that wifi hot-spots are not in fact saunas powered by wifi. FML

#21302021
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31244) - you deserved it (3776)

On 11/19/2014 at 10:09am - misc - by Donutsarelife - United States

Today, my mother gave me an early Christmas present; a Bissell mop so I can "do a better job" when I "clean her floors". FML

#13462104
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24919) - you deserved it (3775)

On 10/15/2010 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went on what I thought was a date. After a wonderful night with a perfect gentleman, he told me how excited he is that he's moving in with his girlfriend next week, and thanked me for reassuring him that he doesn't want anyone but her. FML

#20950992
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53497) - you deserved it (3775)

On 11/09/2013 at 12:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my team suffered a humiliating loss against our biggest rivals. My family was pretty supportive, though, but only because they'd taken bets against me from the start. FML

#21047385
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38630) - you deserved it (3775)

On 02/01/2014 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to work on my attitude at work. People say I'm mean, so I tried to be nice all day. Apparently I'm now condescending. FML

#21415518
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25798) - you deserved it (3775)

On 05/25/2015 at 1:42pm - work - by Frustrated - United States

Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

#7022853
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39795) - you deserved it (3774)

On 12/29/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by sickofsick - United States

Today, I found out my parents are getting divorced. They're fighting over the dog instead of my sister and me. FML

#12002440
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45125) - you deserved it (3774)

On 07/20/2010 at 12:29pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my neighbours kicked my football back over the fence. They'd slashed it and taped a note to the remains that said, "Do it again and it'll be your face." Now I'm scared to play football in my own backyard. FML

#18350483
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28622) - you deserved it (3774)

On 11/25/2011 at 8:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was working at the daycare. As I left with my boyfriend, a kid came up to us and said that my boyfriend could do way better. FML

#21251155
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39207) - you deserved it (3774)

On 09/03/2014 at 1:40pm - kids - by unlucky - United States (New York)



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