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Today, I work at a food joint as a chef, and a customer found a long strand of hair in her food. The manager blamed me, even though I'm bald. FML

#21117573
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43862) - you deserved it (3190)

On 04/19/2014 at 10:39pm - work - by notmine (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, someone told me they liked my personality when i'm drunk. I asked, "what about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML

#2422
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18026) - you deserved it (3189)

On 01/24/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by the-yao - United States (California)

Today, I let my nephew and his friend spend the night to watch movies. After I fell asleep they stole my liquor and went roaming. When they saw the cop car in front of my house and realized they were busted, they went up to the cop and told them I gave them the alcohol to avoid being grounded. FML

#6201657
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28104) - you deserved it (3189)

On 11/07/2009 at 8:35pm - misc - by AuntSucka (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mum told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time. FML

#14671096
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38379) - you deserved it (3189)

On 01/22/2011 at 5:03am - intimacy - by Theaccident (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had an hour-long massage, meditated for while and was finally feeling good. Then I had to call an ambulance for my idiot father who had managed to get alcohol poisoning. FML

#15062503
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26229) - you deserved it (3189)

On 02/21/2011 at 5:22am - misc - by meme71 -

Today, I arrived at the beach for a week's vacation. I walk on the beach only to find they are "rebuilding" it. They have heavy machinery all over the place, they work 24/7, and this only happens every 15 years. Glad I picked this week. FML

#17394480
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24660) - you deserved it (3189)

On 08/07/2011 at 3:22am - misc - by me - United States

Today, I ordered food at McDonald's. I'm on crutches, and a guy offered to carry my tray to the table. He rushed out with my food. FML

#18070361
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37147) - you deserved it (3189)

On 10/25/2011 at 4:17am - misc - by myownperson - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out why my bank balance is so unusually low. It turns out that I bought a car in Indonesia. I've never been to Indonesia. FML

#20766607
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53598) - you deserved it (3189)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:45am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I had to buy a new boxcutter for work after our old one broke. It came in a box, the type which policy requires a boxcutter to open. FML

#20922948
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38694) - you deserved it (3189)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:42pm - misc - by Awahso - United States (Georgia)

Today, after being in Europe for a month, I got home to find my door wide open and all my stuff gone. I called my dad who was supposed to be watching my house. He told me I should have had someone check on my place while I was gone. FML

#16181448
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35169) - you deserved it (3188)

On 05/15/2011 at 12:49am - misc - by jruth7 - United States (Colorado)

Today, after a long therapy session, in which I poured out all my feelings of how happy and in love I am with whom I believe to be my soul-mate, my shrink asked me if I was sure this guy wasn't a figment of my imagination. FML

#18576133
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25053) - you deserved it (3188)

On 12/22/2011 at 12:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML

#15968
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49289) - you deserved it (3187)

On 02/08/2009 at 9:14pm - intimacy - by ADT (man) - United States (California)

Today, I thought my face was breaking out with pimples, and I thought it was weird because I never break out. And I noticed all these "bug bites" all over my body. When I got home, I realized those weren't bug bites. I have chicken pox, and my high school graduation is tomorrow. FML

#2819083
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58231) - you deserved it (3187)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:06am - health - by angela (woman) - United States (California)



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