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Today, I went to a real Japanese restaurant with my sister and mom, where you had to take off your shoes and sit on the floor. After the meal, I realized my shoes were no longer where I put them. For the seven years the restaurant has been open, I'm the first person to get their shoes stolen. FML

#2355217
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47919) - you deserved it (3153)

On 05/27/2009 at 8:51pm - misc - by Jdub (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I text messaged my mom from Afghanistan to let her know everything was okay. She responded, telling me not to message her so much because "the price of text messages really adds up." FML

#13842937
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35638) - you deserved it (3153)

On 11/14/2010 at 5:26pm - money - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I got a coworker at my new job in trouble, because he kept harassing me and asking me out, even after I clearly told him I wasn't interested. Turns out he's very popular around here, and everyone now hates me for being a trouble-maker and not "taking a compliment." FML

#20098400
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22221) - you deserved it (3153)

On 10/02/2012 at 2:27pm - work - by friendlessatwork (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found on Facebook that my best friend of 10 years is getting married next week. I'm guessing my invite got lost in the mail. FML

#20976772
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44196) - you deserved it (3153)

On 12/01/2013 at 7:43am - misc - by JD - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt something sticky. It was a house centipede. It exploded. FML

#15999869
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30397) - you deserved it (3152)

On 05/01/2011 at 2:02am - misc - by rb - United States

Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML

#19355965
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18854) - you deserved it (3152)

On 03/27/2012 at 3:40am - misc - by blueglover - United States (California)

Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML

#20189568
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38714) - you deserved it (3152)

On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28742) - you deserved it (3152)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

Today, I got back from a weekend at my best friend's house. Apparently, he and his friend invented a new game. It involves sticking duct tape to their pubic hairs, ripping them out, and sticking as many as possible on my face and body before I wake up. FML

#21276742
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30621) - you deserved it (3152)

On 10/13/2014 at 4:17am - misc - by wtfguys - United States

Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML

#4156027
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53426) - you deserved it (3152)

On 07/30/2009 at 7:34am - kids - by Herdad (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I found my brand new tropical fish dead in its tank because my boyfriend got drunk last night and decided to pour red wine into the aquarium. FML

#5968472
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31130) - you deserved it (3151)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Brinty (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to listen to a girl who just came back from the bathroom, talk about the "gigantic massive dump" she took, and even held her hands up to show the size. FML

#8835059
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20022) - you deserved it (3151)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:51pm - misc - by Grossed_out (woman) - United States (New York)



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