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Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML

#21106030
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44972) - you deserved it (3035)

On 04/06/2014 at 3:37pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I went on a date with a guy that I met at a masquerade. The moment he saw me without my mask on, he left the date. FML

#8892193
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24411) - you deserved it (3035)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:38pm - misc - by workinggirl (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I got back from a two week holiday only to discover my dog missing. After looking for him at animal shelters and putting up missing pet signs, my room mate admitted he lost him in a game of drunk poker. FML

#12649118
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38229) - you deserved it (3034)

On 08/20/2010 at 6:03pm - animals - by therealducktape - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend was seated in my section at work. As he sees me his face drops... he's on a date. He had forgotten I work there. I had to serve him and his date, and they didn't leave a tip. FML

#13621862
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43635) - you deserved it (3034)

On 10/28/2010 at 12:27am - love - by heshay - United States (Texas)

Today, after running a couple of miles, I went upstairs into my air-conditioned room to cool off. Apparently, my mom walked past my room and heard me breathing heavily. Later, she had my dad give me a talk about masturbation. FML

#17022194
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34373) - you deserved it (3034)

On 07/08/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by chumleevil - United States (Maine)

Today, I was feeling down about being stuck in bed after ankle surgery. I thought I would go ahead and call my boss and let him know everything went well. He said the obligatory nice things, then told me that if I'm not at work on Monday, I'll be fired. I can't even get out of bed. FML

#20638400
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44537) - you deserved it (3034)

On 05/03/2013 at 1:35am - work - by clutzasaurus (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML

#20993322
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35019) - you deserved it (3034)

On 12/15/2013 at 12:18pm - misc - by ANONYMOUS -_- (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I can't get my heat to turn off. It is currently 87 degrees Fahrenheit in my house, and my heat is running non-stop. It's about 20 degrees outside with over a foot of snow on the ground, so a repairman can't come out to fix it. My electricity bill will be about $1000. FML

#6829701
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28959) - you deserved it (3033)

On 12/19/2009 at 3:10pm - money - by heatproblems (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

#19594950
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31588) - you deserved it (3033)

On 05/08/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by laury - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML

#7925125
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30407) - you deserved it (3032)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:27am - animals - by btg - United States (California)

Today, I was dumped by my girlfriend due to our long distance relationship. She then agreed to date my best friend who lives in the same town as me. FML

#12447097
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33435) - you deserved it (3032)

On 08/11/2010 at 2:50am - love - by sadface - United States

Today, I went on a drive with my girlfriend when we went past a 'Dead End' sign. She pointed to it and said it was "Foreshadowing our relationship". FML

#13754319
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29101) - you deserved it (3032)

On 11/07/2010 at 4:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to take a nap before a big job interview at 6. I set two alarm clocks to make sure I didn't miss it, but I woke up at 5:59. As I'm scrambling in a panic to get out the door, my mom says calmly, "I took your alarm clocks out of your room because you looked really tired today." FML

#10841820
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37445) - you deserved it (3032)

On 05/29/2010 at 1:39pm - misc - by thanksmum (woman) - Germany (Berlin)



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