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Today, my girlfriend told me that we should take a break from our relationship, because it'd be best for the both of us. Later, I found out that she really meant it'd be best for her and her new boyfriend. FML

#11866175
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36479) - you deserved it (3151)

On 07/14/2010 at 1:08am - love - by Depressed (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom cooked her dog some potatoes, carrots, beef, rice and peas. She cooks better food for her dog than she will for our family. FML

#17039633
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30261) - you deserved it (3151)

On 07/09/2011 at 10:34am - animals - by iGreen - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML

#19355965
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18852) - you deserved it (3151)

On 03/27/2012 at 3:40am - misc - by blueglover - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend decided he is going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML

#19201903
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20965) - you deserved it (3151)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:01am - misc - by types (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML

#20171880
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28969) - you deserved it (3152)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Dead_Fox (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML

#20674602
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58218) - you deserved it (3151)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by pregnant loser apparently (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

#20836671
111 comments

Today, me and some friends had home-made burgers for lunch. The guy who did the cooking later insisted that spitting in a frying pan is a perfectly acceptable way of guessing the right time to add the oil. FML

#21009569
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36209) - you deserved it (3151)

On 12/29/2013 at 6:28pm - health - by HungerStrike (man) - Czech Republic (Stredocesky kraj)

Today, my daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML

#13252455
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23245) - you deserved it (3150)

On 09/29/2010 at 6:47pm - kids - by Mommy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I called my boyfriend over and over again and he never answered. His mom just called me and asked how I was holding up. I asked her what she meant and she had to tell me he checked himself into rehab because he was addicted to heroin. FML

#18708494
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31543) - you deserved it (3150)

On 01/04/2012 at 6:29pm - misc - by jada - United States (Ohio)

Today, during the countdown to midnight, I looked for my girlfriend so I could kiss her as 2013 began. I found her just in time to see her making out with some guy she swore was "only a friend." FML

#20435586
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44239) - you deserved it (3150)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:50am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after I explained to my waitress that I have an allergy to butter, she nonetheless put some on my baked potato. When I had her get me another, without butter, she came back with one and then asked if I would like butter with it. FML

#20862628
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44803) - you deserved it (3150)

On 09/01/2013 at 12:40am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)



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