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Today, my mom spelled my name with all lowercase letters. When I asked her why she wrote it like that, she got pissed and snapped back, "Capitals are for people who amount to something." FML

#21288559
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31054) - you deserved it (3205)

On 10/30/2014 at 6:05pm - misc - by wow (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tried approaching this cute girl. She quickly picked up the nearest calculator and started talking into it, in a desperate act to seem busy. FML

#21288185
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31500) - you deserved it (3205)

On 10/30/2014 at 1:38am - love - by 41yearoldvirgin - United States (California)

Today, I returned home to find out that my new and very expensive computer had overheated. I confronted my mom, and she told me that she had covered up the fan because she didn't like the noise. FML

#3549532
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55115) - you deserved it (3204)

On 07/07/2009 at 8:16am - misc - by allwaysbuggedinheaven - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking my little sister home from the eye doctor. It was raining out so we were kind of in a hurry to get home. We get home and about half an hour later, the cops show up. Apparently, someone saw me walking my sister and called the cops on me thinking I was a child molester. FML

#843077
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80582) - you deserved it (3204)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:42pm - kids - by omgn00blolz89 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML

#16919201
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39616) - you deserved it (3204)

On 06/30/2011 at 4:18am - misc - by John - United States

Today, my father took revenge on me for bankrupting him in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consisted of having a truckload of sand dumped in my driveway while I was at work. FML

#20966996
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38186) - you deserved it (3204)

On 11/22/2013 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I received a text from my girlfriend to break up with me. I was upset. One minute later another text from her said "sorry, wrong person." FML

#4618484
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61308) - you deserved it (3203)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Kazakhstan (Almaty)

Today, my little sister tripped when trying to walk up the stairs with a sandwich in one hand and my laptop in the other. She choose to save her sandwich instead of my £500 laptop. FML

#10748228
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26130) - you deserved it (3203)

On 05/25/2010 at 12:44am - misc - by Laptop - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know..." FML

#19867200
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22027) - you deserved it (3203)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by friend (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds have made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML

#20663096
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37162) - you deserved it (3203)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:11pm - animals - by Locked Out - United States

Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML

#20956092
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54272) - you deserved it (3203)

On 11/13/2013 at 6:08am - kids - by little_star78 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I discovered the worst possible situation in which to get explosive diarrhea: on a 9-hour transatlantic flight. Next to an attractive single guy. FML

#1094822
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64446) - you deserved it (3202)

On 04/18/2009 at 7:11pm - health - by crapgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

#7379683
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33456) - you deserved it (3202)

On 01/16/2010 at 3:19pm - health - by dire-rear (woman) - Singapore



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