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Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years, the father of my son, has been the pervert who has been harassing my mother with weird texts and pictures of his knob. The cops told me after we went to the police station to report it and catch the creep. FML

#14185511
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30373) - you deserved it (3305)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:01am - intimacy - by grossed the f out -

Today, my dog managed to get into our cabinet and eat an entire bag of hershey kisses. Now she is puking all over the house and outside too. When I called the vet to tell her about it, she said that it was normal, and to call her back when it was "coming out the other end." FML

#9018544
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18257) - you deserved it (3305)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:01am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I celebrated my birthday with my friend who has the same birthday by going out to dinner with a bunch of our friends. The waiter brought out a cake for my friend but not for me. No one noticed my exclusion. I sang happy birthday on my birthday. FML

#109688
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53752) - you deserved it (3304)

On 02/22/2009 at 11:05pm - misc - by jet8725 - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend invited me over so I went, not thinking anything of it. To my surprise, he broke up with me. I was pretty upset, and as I was leaving his mom hands me a box. When I got home I opened it. His mom baked me a break up cake. FML

#2290752
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52214) - you deserved it (3304)

On 05/25/2009 at 9:15pm - love - by cakegirl (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked a girl I like to homecoming. I brought her to my house beforehand for dinner with my family. My brother asked her whether we were just friends or dating, she shouts "Just friends!" and then starts flirting with him with me in the room. FML

#5744040
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35426) - you deserved it (3304)

On 10/09/2009 at 6:11pm - misc - by Charon - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went in my room to play my guitar. I found my Les Paul on the floor with all the strings missing. I later found out my grandma cut them off because I was playing "Devil's Music." FML

#5775880
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45026) - you deserved it (3304)

On 10/11/2009 at 1:21pm - misc - by cbarebo (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend because he's been working extra hard these last two months. I went to his house only to find him in bed with another girl. Standing there, with fifteen roses in my hands, all he could say was, "Thank you, can you put them in a vase?" FML

#13497431
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39737) - you deserved it (3304)

On 10/18/2010 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I got back from a 3 and a half week trip to South Africa to do volunteer work with children in townships. My parents forgot to pick me up, and I had to sit there by myself and wait for them, while 80 people of the same organization got loving hugs from their proud parents. FML

#12475653
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36076) - you deserved it (3304)

On 08/12/2010 at 10:50am - work - by leonieNL (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, my friend pushed me into the swimming pool. Unfortunately, we were eight feet away from the actual pool, so I face-planted and rolled in. FML

#16510311
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36539) - you deserved it (3304)

On 06/05/2011 at 3:00am - misc - by kyle - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML

#19662141
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17781) - you deserved it (3304)

On 05/22/2012 at 12:11pm - love - by boblaj (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I was waitressing at work, when a woman decided to change her baby's nappy on a table. One moment I was asking her to leave, and the next, she was shoving a fully shat-out nappy into my hands. She asked me to get rid of it and fetch her baby wipes. FML

#20863302
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39328) - you deserved it (3304)

On 09/01/2013 at 3:35pm - work - by aisbash (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

#20919376
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52521) - you deserved it (3304)

On 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by mustabeendrugs (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my grandma commented on my Facebook profile picture: "That's a great photo! It doesn't look anything like you!" FML

#20982946
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36100) - you deserved it (3304)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by oh (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)



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