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Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML

#18630466
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31225) - you deserved it (3101)

On 12/28/2011 at 12:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the love of my life, and long term partner, sat me down and told me that he feels so comfortable in our relationship that he no longer feels the need to have sex with me, and he doesn't think that that will ever change. FML

#20162862
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31549) - you deserved it (3102)

On 11/14/2012 at 5:36am - intimacy - by nolove - Australia

Today, I opened my Christmas present from my parents. I got a road-side assistance package. I don't own a vehicle, and I don't even have a driver's license. FML

#20420365
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28061) - you deserved it (3101)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - misc - by CambodianAsshole (man) - United States (California)

Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML

#20835961
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39020) - you deserved it (3101)

On 08/13/2013 at 8:08pm - money - by What. - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I got really excited when I got an email from a guy I've been flirting with in my math class. Turns out he thinks I stole his calculator and wants it back immediately. There goes my chance. FML

#20880890
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39149) - you deserved it (3101)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:04pm - love - by crushed (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after finally giving up on the search for my lost dog, I realized that my neighbors had found her and are convinced that she was a stray. They won't give her up and are now mad at me for trying to take my own dog back. FML

#1078631
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68001) - you deserved it (3100)

On 04/18/2009 at 2:45am - animals - by englishtrio (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to fix my bike and take it for a test ride. Five minutes in, a bee flew into my eye and stung me. In pain, I thought it would be best to go home. I turned around to find a big pitbull running towards me. The dog chased me for a mile before giving up. FML

Today, I used a fire extinguisher for the first time. Too bad it was on my car. FML

#16523437
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25068) - you deserved it (3100)

On 06/06/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, after having my car been broken into the day before because I didn't lock it, I made sure I locked my doors. When I got off shift and entered the parking lot, I noticed a brick had been thrown through my windshield and a note that said, "Nice Try". FML

#17037512
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38973) - you deserved it (3100)

On 07/09/2011 at 3:04am - misc - by JohnyP - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant, where the chefs cook the food right in front of you. Our chef tossed an egg in the air, but sadly didn't catch it. Don't worry though, my hair got it instead. FML

#17136219
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28738) - you deserved it (3100)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:24pm - misc - by KatrinaKitten - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years asked my dad if he could marry me, and my dad agreed. He then tells me that he's not going to propose for maybe another year at least, he "just wanted to get that out of the way." FML

#18610596
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26637) - you deserved it (3100)

On 12/25/2011 at 8:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while I was putting up Christmas lights, my younger brother wouldn't stop pestering me. It seems he hadn't forgotten the time I gave myself an electric shock last year, and he wanted to see if I'd do it again. FML

#18419129
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20212) - you deserved it (3100)

On 12/03/2011 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

#19603084
408 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57247) - you deserved it (3100)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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