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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I thought it would be nice to park my new car under a big, shady oak tree to prevent it from heating up in the sun. The big, shady oak tree thought it would be nice to shed a massive branch on top of my new car. FML

#20196008
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21945) - you deserved it (3603)

On 12/08/2012 at 4:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got cut from my track team. My coach told me it was because my sprints were "too fast" for his liking. Huh? FML

#20602567
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54093) - you deserved it (3603)

On 04/18/2013 at 4:34pm - misc - by bhnja_ (man) - Philippines (Mandaue)

Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML

#21302690
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31805) - you deserved it (3603)

On 11/20/2014 at 11:20am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to write a huge lab for my physics class. It's worth my entire quarter grade and I use a program on a CD for graphing. My mom thought it was a computer game and hid the CD. She can't find it. The lab's due tomorrow. FML

#5656241
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40209) - you deserved it (3602)

On 10/05/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by Bento (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, even though I don't necessarily believe in soul mates, I found out my wife does. She met hers a few weeks ago. FML

#20896483
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44820) - you deserved it (3602)

On 09/26/2013 at 2:54am - love - by NotTheSoulMate (man) - United States

Today, I told my physiotherapist a funny story. She got so entertained that she started giggling and twisted my broken arm. The pain was worse than when it broke in the first place. FML

#21251280
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34414) - you deserved it (3602)

On 09/03/2014 at 5:30pm - health - by svenska75 (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I flew home early from a two month trip to Europe to surprise my boyfriend on his birthday. When I got to his house with a home baked cake from scratch and a quilt with slik-screened pictures from my trip, his roommate answered the door and said "Oh sorry, he's out with his girlfriend." FML

#227121
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64664) - you deserved it (3601)

On 03/06/2009 at 4:07pm - love - by Muscle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML

#2896238
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50435) - you deserved it (3601)

On 06/14/2009 at 9:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - Japan (Okinawa)

Today, since we hadn't been romantic for a long time, I shaved, took a bath, cut my hair and snuggled up to my husband in bed. He got up, went to the computer, masturbated to porn, came back to bed and asked me what was for breakfast. FML

#6379949
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28572) - you deserved it (3601)

On 11/20/2009 at 1:41pm - intimacy - by Inkabadger (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years confessed that he was sleeping with me and 5 other girls while we first started dating. He told me he numbered us and rolled a die to see which one he would date. I guess I won. FML

#6775724
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36417) - you deserved it (3601)

On 12/16/2009 at 7:09am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that I'm allergic to band-aids. I now have a band-aid shaped rash around a tiny cut on my leg. Oh the irony. FML

#10884107
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25440) - you deserved it (3601)

On 05/31/2010 at 11:43am - health - by twnty1 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to go for a run to try and work on getting in shape. Nine steps in, I slipped in some slimy moss, almost broke my hip on the pavement and gashed open my elbow. I'll be surprised if I can walk straight in the morning. FML

#13154158
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22551) - you deserved it (3601)

On 09/22/2010 at 8:11am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Japan

Today, I finally found out who has been hacking my email account to send dirty messages to my teacher. My dad. FML

#16237606
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40934) - you deserved it (3601)

On 05/18/2011 at 1:13pm - misc - by Charles (man) - Norway (Akershus)



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