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Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24417) - you deserved it (1681)
On 06/16/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by mystery - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was standing on the packed bus home when I had a speck of dust in my lenses. As I couldn't rub it out, I tried blinking it out for the next five minutes. Then the hot girl opposite me screams "Stop winking at me, you bastard! Don't even think about it, you ugly fuck!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27296) - you deserved it (1680)
On 05/15/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by ballerphilip23 (man) - Austria (Wien)
Today, I discovered that just because I get unwanted erections on an hourly basis throughout the day, it doesn't mean that I can get required erections in the night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13114) - you deserved it (1680)
On 10/30/2009 at 12:17am - intimacy - by frustrated (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I asked my mom why she drinks. She said she only drinks when she's depressed. My step-dad said she only drinks on the weekend. Those are the days I'm at her house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18741) - you deserved it (1680)
On 09/14/2011 at 9:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had to give my boyfriend an enema. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13824) - you deserved it (1680)
On 08/24/2012 at 1:21am - health - by coop7291 - United States
Today, my sister stopped by to visit me with her pet bird in tow. She asked me to hold the animal while she went to the toilet, and put it on my shoulder. It promptly shat on my only clean shirt and tore away a good deal of skin from my hand when I tried to get it off me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13046) - you deserved it (1680)
On 09/23/2012 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, a hobo shook me down for money on the street. He's my brother, who incidentally ran away from home over two years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25647) - you deserved it (1680)
On 06/12/2012 at 12:59pm - money - by Sarah - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, the traffic court judge didn't believe my three witnesses and two security cameras that proved I was innocent. He claimed a cop would never lie, and that the dashboard security cameras, which the cop brought in, were somehow edited by me. I was fined $1,000 and my license was suspended. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43852) - you deserved it (1679)
On 10/09/2009 at 9:58pm - misc - by thelistman (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I took my best friend out to dinner for my birthday. She gave me a gift after I paid the tab saying, "my mom thought you would like this - it was expensive." It was a lovely set of origami paper, which was the exact set I brought her as a souvenir from Japan. She was right, it was expensive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33135) - you deserved it (1679)
On 06/24/2009 at 10:38pm - misc - by unappreciated (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I sit here in agonizing pain because of a scoliosis surgery. I have a bunch of painkillers that I need to suppress this incredible back pain. Looks like I can't take any. My mom has hidden them from me because she THINKS I need to be taken off them. I wish my doctor were here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25609) - you deserved it (1679)
On 10/08/2010 at 6:31am - health - by lmastr64 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21222) - you deserved it (1679)
On 05/06/2012 at 10:13pm - love - by gutted (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I submitted a vacation request to my manager and it was approved. I came back from lunch and was informed that I have been let go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36583) - you deserved it (1678)
On 02/23/2009 at 5:00pm - work - by ExtendedVacation (man) - United States (California)
Today, my daughter-in-law revealed to me that she caught my husband having an affair with her best friend. This was five years ago, and she is only telling me now because he stopped paying her the blackmail money to keep her mouth shut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29445) - you deserved it (1678)
On 09/17/2011 at 12:43am - love - by cheated (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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