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Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML
at 1am, the girl of my dreams that I've been trying for over three years to date, finally askd me out via SMS. Too bad I was asleep at the time. She now thinks I've rejectd her, an will no longer speak to me.
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said "That was my daughter." FML
Today one of mah usually unpleasant managers offered me a slice of cheese cake for doing a good job!! I declined but after some pestering on his part I finally accepted it!! I have been violently ill for the past 2 hours!! FML
TODAY, AT WORK MAH BOSS TOLD ME I HAVE BEEN LATE, UNDER-PRODUCTIVE, AND USING UP A LOT OF SICK DAYS. HE SAYS MAH JOB IS ON THE LINE. MY REASON FIR BARELY SHOWING UP AT WORK: I'VE BEEN ON MATERNITY LEAVE FIR 6 WEEKS. FML
Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment fir the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do u read?"
Today, I receivd a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy calld "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML
Today in an amphitheater someone hit the back of mah head. As I turned around the guy apologized and said he mistook me for his friend. I changed seats and after ahile I got hit a second time. He was wrong again. FML
Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair . After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought looool I was the new guy, and said I was going to be traind by "The long-haird girly-looking idiot." FML
Friday 27 March 2015