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Today, I came home to a half-shaved dog and a laughing third grader. FML

#21267339
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32500) - you deserved it (3448)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:00pm - kids - by Anonymoose - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend of almost a year, and to whom I intended to propose on Thanksgiving, dumped me because her husband will be returning from Iraq soon. And he wants to have a "talk" with me. I didn't know she was married. FML

#6442976
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39015) - you deserved it (3446)

On 11/25/2009 at 8:56am - love - by blasted (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mother-in-law yelled from across the house for me to come quickly. She sounded frantic, so I rushed and asked what was wrong. She said, "Nothing." and that she just wanted to remind me that she hates my guts. She'll be living here with me and my wife for the next two months. FML

#20830989
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46662) - you deserved it (3446)

On 08/10/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, after my two credit cards were stolen, thousands were charged before I could cancel. The thief dropped nearly $1,000 at Juicy Couture, so she/he is somewhere laughing at me in a magenta, rhinestoned "leisure suit." FML

#15069321
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27741) - you deserved it (3445)

On 02/21/2011 at 8:21pm - money - by MBC - United States

Today, while arguing with my newly ex-girlfriend over how she cheated on me with a mutual friend, she tried to wash her hands of any guilt, saying that I was "selfish" and "just slut-shaming, really". FML

#20796093
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42738) - you deserved it (3445)

On 07/21/2013 at 5:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my store manager told me I was fired. I'm not sure what's more insulting - that he'd fire me, or that he forgot I haven't worked there in four months. FML

Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML

#21293904
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38286) - you deserved it (3445)

On 11/07/2014 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I came home after a two week vacation to find that my wonderful dog had pooped and peed all over my room. My mother was kind enough to dog-sit; however, instead of helping me by cleaning up the horrid mess, she just left me coupons for Glade plug-in air fresheners. FML

#6287406
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23591) - you deserved it (3444)

On 11/13/2009 at 1:34pm - animals - by PuppyLove2009 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got written up for not making a drink right. While getting yelled at by my boss, my co-worker made the drink the same exact way I made it. I pointed it out. My boss responded with, "He is allowed to because I like him, I don't like you." FML

#5291155
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47983) - you deserved it (3444)

On 09/16/2009 at 12:19pm - work - by Nakdnathan (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML

#13894998
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26702) - you deserved it (3444)

On 11/19/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by Amanda -

Today, I ran into my boyfriend. The same guy that told me he was still in Florida with his family. FML

#11889011
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37080) - you deserved it (3444)

On 07/15/2010 at 12:12am - love - by sunkissedberries - United States

Today, I was feeling nauseous and my cat was comforting me. I breathed in through my nose, and my cat's fur caused me to sneeze. I sneezed so hard, I threw up out my nose. Nothing will get rid of the smell from within my nasal cavity. FML

#13934575
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28212) - you deserved it (3444)

On 11/22/2010 at 6:33am - health - by can't breathe - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I spent the first day of the new year helping out at an old folks home. I was assigned to watch over a group which includes the delightful Earnie; an 83 year old delusional man who sees absolutely no problem with showing off "what the good lord gave him" every chance he gets. FML

#14427516
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25486) - you deserved it (3444)

On 01/01/2011 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by Username - United States (California)



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