Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boss made me wear reindeer antlers to promote the Christmas spirit. There are still 5 weeks till Christmas. FML

#6323908
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27331) - you deserved it (3822)

On 11/16/2009 at 5:40am - work - by bakergirl (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend pointed out that the water bill is getting kind of high. I suggested that we shower together to save water. He said he'd rather deal with the high water bill. FML

#19889068
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30401) - you deserved it (3822)

On 07/04/2012 at 1:36am - love - by LonelyShowers (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad found the Father's Day present that I spent at least ten hours preparing and decorating. I'd expected him to be extremely happy about this lovely gift. His only reaction was to ask if he could exchange it for something else. FML

#20701502
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47288) - you deserved it (3822)

On 06/02/2013 at 3:45pm - kids - by I keep failing it all (woman) - Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis)

Today, my sister called me up extremely excited because she found out Flo Rida is from Florida. She's 22. FML

#20751029
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40873) - you deserved it (3821)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:37pm - misc - by smh - United States (New Jersey)

Today, one of my two roommates moved out without warning after we discovered that the rent hadn't been paid in full in a month, the utility bill hadn't been paid in two months, and the electric bill hadn't been paid in three months. We found out when the power was turned off. FML

Today, while going to lunch with my boss, he asked me to check and see if the other lane was clear. When I did, he swerved hard, making me smack my head into the door window. This is apparently his new favorite thing to do. FML

#11490873
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32825) - you deserved it (3820)

On 06/27/2010 at 3:43am - work - by Daniel - United States

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

#20141194
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35434) - you deserved it (3819)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML

#21300331
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34873) - you deserved it (3819)

On 11/16/2014 at 9:26pm - misc - by no - United States

Today, is the fourth day of my husband's and my new diet and exercise routine. I've already caught him eating junk food 4 times. He has lost 2 lbs and I've gained 3. FML

#21328280
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34008) - you deserved it (3819)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:50am - health - by hungry - United States

Today, I had to run for the train, but because of my bad foot and limping they held the train, much to people's displeasure. No one let me sit down, so for the 20 minute journey, I stood. With a bad foot. FML

#21346090
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28280) - you deserved it (3819)

On 01/29/2015 at 7:56am - work - by vampyrate3562 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend of two years asked me to marry him so that we can consolidate our student loans. FML

#2376040
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54852) - you deserved it (3818)

On 05/28/2009 at 3:51pm - love - by loserface23 (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML

#6367890
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29339) - you deserved it (3818)

On 11/19/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by pussystroker (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML

#7079923
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37516) - you deserved it (3818)

On 01/01/2010 at 10:41am - kids - by silverstar189 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: