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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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2day while lying in bed cuddling with my cat after getting stood up, I found out that even 80-year-old Charles Manson is engaged to be married . FML

#21301256
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31405) - you deserved it (3384)

On 11/18/2014 at 5:41am - love - by jessiejaybee (woman) - United States

Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML

#21355550
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33348) - you deserved it (3384)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

at 1am, the girl of my dreams that I've been trying for over three years to date, finally askd me out via SMS. Too bad I was asleep at the time. She now thinks I've rejectd her, an will no longer speak to me.

#8476151
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28164) - you deserved it (3383)

On 02/20/2010 at 11:22am - love - by Bilirubin (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said "That was my daughter." FML

#14622916
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31739) - you deserved it (3383)

On 01/18/2011 at 3:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today one of mah usually unpleasant managers offered me a slice of cheese cake for doing a good job!! I declined but after some pestering on his part I finally accepted it!! I have been violently ill for the past 2 hours!! FML

#14279972
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27402) - you deserved it (3383)

On 12/21/2010 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

TODAY, AT WORK MAH BOSS TOLD ME I HAVE BEEN LATE, UNDER-PRODUCTIVE, AND USING UP A LOT OF SICK DAYS. HE SAYS MAH JOB IS ON THE LINE. MY REASON FIR BARELY SHOWING UP AT WORK: I'VE BEEN ON MATERNITY LEAVE FIR 6 WEEKS. FML

#15917081
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34259) - you deserved it (3383)

On 04/25/2011 at 7:41am - work - by Aginsafa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment fir the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do u read?"

#20091837
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25274) - you deserved it (3383)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I receivd a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy calld "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML

#20703997
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46811) - you deserved it (3383)

On 06/03/2013 at 7:13pm - misc - by fuck wannabe knowitalls (man) - United States

Today... I lerened that while anybody can call me a bitch... mah husband got mad at his aunt for calling our dog a mutt. FML

#6914800
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25847) - you deserved it (3382)

On 12/24/2009 at 1:02am - love - by stupid_world (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today in an amphitheater someone hit the back of mah head. As I turned around the guy apologized and said he mistook me for his friend. I changed seats and after ahile I got hit a second time. He was wrong again. FML

#17159323
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29214) - you deserved it (3382)

On 07/18/2011 at 3:09am - misc - by fthislyfe (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair . After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought looool I was the new guy, and said I was going to be traind by "The long-haird girly-looking idiot." FML

#20163115
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24074) - you deserved it (3382)

On 11/14/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today , I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

#21257305
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38526) - you deserved it (3382)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:56am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, mah boyfriend of 3 yeres dumped me for a chick I shared a looool hospital room with for 2 months . I introduced them . FML

#17965522
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34819) - you deserved it (3381)

On 10/12/2011 at 2:11am - love - by anonymous - Canada



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