Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my book bag was so heavy that it set off my car's passenger detection system in the front seat. I had to buckle in my textbooks. FML

#20068805
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25458) - you deserved it (3517)

On 09/12/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML

#20490582
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50620) - you deserved it (3517)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, my obsessive ex, who recently cut my phone line to stop me from talking to my boyfriend of three years, got a job at the same restaurant where both my boyfriend and I work. FML

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML

#21110397
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42243) - you deserved it (3517)

On 04/11/2014 at 4:07pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland

Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML

#5273221
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54566) - you deserved it (3516)

On 09/15/2009 at 2:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I told my husband that I wanted to take advantage of the alone time we would have while our kids are visiting my parents. My idea? A nice dinner out and kinky sex all night long. His idea? Chinese buffet and subsequent dutch ovens in bed. FML

#13938957
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24882) - you deserved it (3516)

On 11/22/2010 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML

#15974140
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46989) - you deserved it (3516)

On 04/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it's my birthday. I've been dropping strong hints all year about wanting to learn to tap-dance, hoping for some decent tap shoes. Instead, I got a beekeepers outfit and some furry dice to hang on my wreck of a car's rear-view mirror. FML

#17619840
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20802) - you deserved it (3516)

On 08/30/2011 at 8:16am - misc - by wtf (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I found out that my parents were artists when they met. My mom said that I was one of their best projects yet. My sister, hearing what my mother said, broke my week-old PS3 in a rage. FML

#20699851
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48953) - you deserved it (3516)

On 06/01/2013 at 7:31pm - misc - by H1dd3n (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got kicked out of English class shortly after our teacher told us we have to write an essay on how the storyline of Harry Potter is one big allegory for "the futility of socialism." Apparently, reacting with disbelief makes me a "disruptive influence." FML

#20905920
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34237) - you deserved it (3516)

On 10/03/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by WTF? (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am and I was listening to music and catching up on homework. When I took my headphones off to readjust them, I heard some grunting. I looked over at the man across from me to see he was masturbating. FML

#256186
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70525) - you deserved it (3515)

On 03/09/2009 at 10:04pm - intimacy - by danesy - United States (New York)

Today, while at work I went to use the public restroom because I had a severe case of diarrhea. All went well until the timed sensor lights went off and I couldn't leave my stall to get them back on. I sat there for thirty minutes in pure darkness. FML

#7105226
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23675) - you deserved it (3515)

On 01/02/2010 at 2:24pm - work - by Bathroom Problems - France

Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husbands rather rattling snoring, I finally managed it... only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML

#14990057
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25903) - you deserved it (3515)

On 02/15/2011 at 12:10pm - love - by Ugh (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: