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Today, I went to the gym to run. I ended up at the hospital because i went into anaphylactic shock. Apparently I'm allergic to exercise now. FML

#36818
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33655) - you deserved it (3153)

On 02/13/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I went to a real Japanese restaurant with my sister and mom, where you had to take off your shoes and sit on the floor. After the meal, I realized my shoes were no longer where I put them. For the seven years the restaurant has been open, I'm the first person to get their shoes stolen. FML

#2355217
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47886) - you deserved it (3153)

On 05/27/2009 at 8:51pm - misc - by Jdub (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got a coworker at my new job in trouble, because he kept harassing me and asking me out, even after I clearly told him I wasn't interested. Turns out he's very popular around here, and everyone now hates me for being a trouble-maker and not "taking a compliment." FML

#20098400
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22186) - you deserved it (3153)

On 10/02/2012 at 2:27pm - work - by friendlessatwork (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML

#20179174
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33289) - you deserved it (3153)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I looked at a girl's profile on a dating website, and it told her I'd visited it. Later on, she sent me a message. It said: "Don't even think about it." FML

#21253110
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33567) - you deserved it (3153)

On 09/06/2014 at 3:29pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

#2059220
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71259) - you deserved it (3152)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by emoney (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was hanging out with a group of friends when I got into a conversation with this really attractive girl who I've liked for months. She asked me what school I go to. I sit to her left in biology. FML

#4961787
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39790) - you deserved it (3152)

On 08/31/2009 at 8:40pm - love - by outofluckdude (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I braved the winter weather conditions to get to a clinic for a prescription anti-diarrhea medication. When I arrived to find it closed, I turned around to walk to my car where I slipped on the ice. The impact made me simultaneously bruise my elbow and shit myself. FML

#14660867
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31934) - you deserved it (3152)

On 01/21/2011 at 10:13am - health - by chelseaface (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that the acne under my arms was worse then the severe acne on my face. FML

#8557720
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24613) - you deserved it (3151)

On 02/22/2010 at 4:43pm - health - by baconrash - United States (New York)

Today, I was working when I delivered the standard "Hello, how are you?" to a customer. He took the opportunity to tell me about his deceased wife, his estranged children, and his anal tearing. After a while, I tried to help someone else, and he complained to my manager. I was written up. FML

#17754607
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26014) - you deserved it (3151)

On 09/15/2011 at 10:38pm - work - by MrTandy - United States (New York)

Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt something sticky. It was a house centipede. It exploded. FML

#15999869
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30365) - you deserved it (3151)

On 05/01/2011 at 2:02am - misc - by rb - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided he is going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML

#19201903
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20944) - you deserved it (3151)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:01am - misc - by types (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

#20494543
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35639) - you deserved it (3151)

On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)



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