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Today, I ran into a former co-worker who I hadn't seen in years. She was raving at how I hadn't aged a bit, but before I could thank her she said, "But, you know, chubby people age better." FML

#20492811
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26596) - you deserved it (3264)

On 02/04/2013 at 7:17am - work - by Colleen Nichols - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of my roommates are aware of. FML

#20521168
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31023) - you deserved it (3264)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that, after having moved over 500 miles to begin a post-graduate degree, I'm being kicked out of the house I'm renting. We haven't yet signed agreements. Apparently I "keep the kitchen too clean". FML

#21097212
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37821) - you deserved it (3264)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:45pm - work - by homeless - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I was studying for my Spanish midterm nonstop. After I closed my book, I was so tired that I thought that my cat was asking me questions in Spanish. FML

#21303629
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28439) - you deserved it (3264)

On 11/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Studying is for crazy people. - United States (California)

Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML

#5579906
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41265) - you deserved it (3263)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:59am - love - by Icy (woman) - United States (Washington) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, my boyfriend told me one of the main reasons he started dating me was because I have the same name as his ex, whose name he has tattooed on his back. FML

#14034734
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34033) - you deserved it (3263)

On 11/30/2010 at 10:50am - love - by tattooed (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my boyfriend was introducing me to some business partners. As he was going along telling me their names, when he introduced me, he called me by my best friend's name. FML

#16043135
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37688) - you deserved it (3263)

On 05/04/2011 at 10:50am - love - by ohmylantis (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML

#20679387
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40608) - you deserved it (3263)

On 05/22/2013 at 6:56am - misc - by stillhave2years - United States

Today, I was so broke I went to Costco, not to buy anything, but to eat their free food samples. FML

#19706786
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28212) - you deserved it (3262)

On 05/30/2012 at 9:52pm - money - by thedri11 - United States (California)

Today, my dad bought me a new laptop for my birthday. That's because he wants to use my old laptop for work, which is more expensive, has better specs, runs faster, and has a wider screen than my new computer. I just got a downgraded laptop as my birthday present. FML

#5054381
147 comments

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me because he felt "our religious differences kept us apart." We've never talked about anything religious. Ever. FML

#13008973
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24789) - you deserved it (3261)

On 09/11/2010 at 8:39pm - love - by fmlimoverit - United States (Ohio)

Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML

#14396481
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42339) - you deserved it (3260)

On 12/30/2010 at 2:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, while I was out of the house, my 6 year old brother stole my new waterproof camera, dunked it into the toilet holding onto the wrist strap, and flushed repeatedly to see if it lived up to its "waterproof promise." It didn't. FML

#14023437
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25161) - you deserved it (3260)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:02pm - misc - by fmylife. - Canada (British Columbia)



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