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Today, I saw a picture of me from a night of drinking that surprisingly looked really really good. I showed my boyfriend and he agreed with me. Then he added, "What's funny is it looks nothing like you!" FML

#7215192
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21374) - you deserved it (3316)

On 01/08/2010 at 10:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned the only job that actually wants me is as a peanut butter factory worker. I've been unemployed for 9 months. I'm also allergic to nuts. FML

#15931079
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30670) - you deserved it (3316)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:49am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML

#18933385
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20749) - you deserved it (3317)

On 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24676) - you deserved it (3316)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was walking back to my dorm with my boyfriend. He was being really sweet as he held my hand. We were about to kiss goodnight and as he pushed some hair out of my face he said, "Can we hurry it up? I'm about to rip one." FML

#21289293
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29233) - you deserved it (3316)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:39pm - love - by grossedout -

Today, I caught my roommate pouring back his leftover milk from his cereal back into the jug to "save money." FML

#20799167
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44128) - you deserved it (3316)

On 07/23/2013 at 9:21am - misc - by why (man) -

Today, my fiancée told me she can't marry me. Our wedding day is tomorrow and around 20 of our 180 guests attending have travelled half way around the world just for the occasion. FML

#20918616
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54665) - you deserved it (3316)

On 10/13/2013 at 6:49am - love - by IDon't - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I received two cards in the mail for my late husband for his birthday. He has been dead for four years now, and the cards were from our two children, who live several states away. This is the fourth time it's happened, and neither of them answer my calls. Ever. FML

#13514836
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42423) - you deserved it (3315)

On 10/19/2010 at 6:58pm - kids - by widow - United States (Illinois)

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

#20774202
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46928) - you deserved it (3315)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:33pm - misc - by my honest father - United States (Kansas)

Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML

#20857349
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45163) - you deserved it (3315)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:06am - work - by DefinitelyNotDogshit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a guy drove straight into an intersection, running a stop sign and narrowly missing my car. I had to swerve into a snow bank to avoid him. He stopped long enough to see that I had a toddler in my car, before flipping me off and driving away. FML

#21058102
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44232) - you deserved it (3315)

On 02/12/2014 at 1:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was finally able to hang out with a girl I really liked at a party. We had a great time and spent hours together. When I leaned in for a kiss at the end of the night, she stopped me and said that "you're a great guy, but we can't go out because you'll be bad for my social reputation." FML

#6403006
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35255) - you deserved it (3314)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:11am - love - by Jason (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I came home after having traveled abroad for the last two months. Before I left, I'd asked my dad to take care of my fish, and he promised they'd be safe with him. I found them all decomposing. FML

#17055167
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29647) - you deserved it (3314)

On 07/10/2011 at 4:54pm - animals - by worstfatherever - United States



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Wednesday 28 January 2015

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