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Today, I walked to my local McDonald's. I spent the last 7 dollars I had on my meal. As I began to walk back to my dorm, I was mugged. I explained to them I had no money, so they stole my food. FML

#1936561
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46200) - you deserved it (3232)

On 05/14/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by Aaron (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was going to hang out with the girl I like, because she was leaving for the rest of the Summer. She had to cancel to go shopping with her grandma "all day." At 1 o'clock, she came online and told me how much fun she had with this guy I really don't like. She forgot that she lied to me. FML

#4020184
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49628) - you deserved it (3232)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:17am - love - by Jake (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend forgot to tell me about the all-night bender he went out on, and what he got up to with my best friend. But its okay; the Facebook pictures say it all. FML

#15895207
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33197) - you deserved it (3232)

On 04/23/2011 at 4:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I found out that while having a GPS tracker in your car is helpful for tracking down car thieves, it's also helpful to your psycho ex, who can use it to track you down. FML

#20846264
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39634) - you deserved it (3232)

On 08/20/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by nobieb (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister-in-law pooped with the bathroom door open until my husband had to tell her to close it, then she came out with unwashed hands and started rooting through the cookies. This isn't even the most unhygienic thing she's done today. FML

#20871127
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50080) - you deserved it (3232)

On 09/07/2013 at 7:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I took my SUV in to get the oil changed, and the tires rotated. They allowed me to stay there, because they said it would only take 30 minutes. So I sit there in the waiting room, and I look through the window only to see my SUV falling off the lift, from 6 feet in the air. FML

#5955896
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38986) - you deserved it (3231)

On 10/23/2009 at 6:09am - misc - by effmylife (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML

#5895637
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24970) - you deserved it (3231)

On 10/19/2009 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Geez (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I found out that my mom is not only reading my mail, but she is also withholding letters from my bank, college, and insurance company. Why? Because "they could be inappropriate" for me to read. I'm 25. FML

Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML

#20137933
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26302) - you deserved it (3231)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by becca (woman) - United States

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43609) - you deserved it (3231)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, the "man cold" has infected my brother. He honestly thinks he's dying. He only has the sniffles. FML

#20982595
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34458) - you deserved it (3231)

On 12/06/2013 at 7:21am - health - by linzl00 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML

#21237829
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39974) - you deserved it (3231)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was visited by Child Protective Services. Seems someone on my street reported me for neglect because I cloth diaper my children. I moved in less than 6 months ago, so I guess this is how they say, "welcome to the neighborhood" about these parts. FML

#6660369
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30634) - you deserved it (3230)

On 12/08/2009 at 2:02am - kids - by ClothMom (woman) - United States (Hawaii)



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