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Today, my throat is really swollen so I can only drink liquid. I noticed home-made ice-lollies in the freezer and had one. It tasted funny. Turns out my little brother had peed in one of those ice-lolly box and put it in the freezer. FML

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up, just like daddy's girlfriend. We're still married. FML

#8300891
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39320) - you deserved it (3455)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:58pm - love - by ShayisPay101 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML

#7967953
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32937) - you deserved it (3455)

On 02/07/2010 at 9:18am - work - by Ryan - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me because he felt "our religious differences kept us apart." We've never talked about anything religious. Ever. FML

#13008973
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26876) - you deserved it (3455)

On 09/11/2010 at 8:39pm - love - by fmlimoverit - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML

#16966151
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42765) - you deserved it (3455)

On 07/03/2011 at 10:02pm - health - by wastedbaby - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my fiancé decided he wants to buy an engagement ring for his mother, so that she doesn't feel left out. FML

#18135623
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38932) - you deserved it (3455)

On 11/02/2011 at 12:49am - love - by heatherjo - United States

Today, I had a rare phone call from my ex-girlfriend. We ended up talking for hours about old times. It was the best conversation we have had in forever, it made me miss her and miss us. Later on in the day, she called back asking what we talked about. She was too high too remember. FML

#7121282
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32477) - you deserved it (3454)

On 01/03/2010 at 4:56am - love - by CP19JK12KH (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that the blind man I've been helping for months at the grocery store by carrying his shopping around and stuff was actually faking his blindness. FML

#13442719
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27637) - you deserved it (3454)

On 10/14/2010 at 4:19am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after not receiving my paycheck for over a month, I confronted my boss about it. His response? "You still work here?" FML

#17023007
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34718) - you deserved it (3455)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:10am - work - by outofajob - United States

Today, my fiancé, the love of my life, informed me that he proposed because he was sure I'd say no. He was hoping it would lead to our breakup. FML

#16605468
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43323) - you deserved it (3454)

On 06/11/2011 at 1:47am - love - by Username - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

#20462590
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40975) - you deserved it (3454)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML

#20784153
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50321) - you deserved it (3454)

On 07/15/2013 at 12:47pm - love - by leeceetaylor99 - United States (Texas)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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