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Today, I caught my dad eating the dog treats I'd bought for my dog. The only thing he could say was "These are really good, no wonder the dog is so obedient. Wanna try one?" FML

#13684464
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21798) - you deserved it (3119)

On 11/02/2010 at 3:13am - animals - by treats - Singapore

Today, I got demoted from my manager's position, only to be replaced by a 21 year old who has never worked in retail in her life. I now have to spend the next month teaching her my job so they can fire me. FML

#15049361
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31578) - you deserved it (3119)

On 02/20/2011 at 6:49am - work - by lisha182 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML

#17248199
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36229) - you deserved it (3119)

On 07/25/2011 at 12:14am - health - by sisi9999 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months started a bitter fight with me. The cause was me repeatedly refusing to dye my hair the way his beloved ex did. FML

#17937803
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30822) - you deserved it (3119)

On 10/08/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML

#20679293
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41671) - you deserved it (3119)

On 05/22/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by SadPuppy - United States

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

#4081805
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61784) - you deserved it (3118)

On 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm - misc - by webperson04 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my daughter found out what happens when my husband watches Mythbusters and doesn't heed the disclaimer to "Not try this at home." He feels bad about her cut face, but says he's proud he can throw a playing card that hard. FML

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

#20940427
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47034) - you deserved it (3118)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

#19342755
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28883) - you deserved it (3117)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:49am - animals - by uh-oh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

Today, the only conversation I had with my mother where she didn't explode into a hissy fit was about peanut butter vs. almond butter. And even then she was starting to get mad at me. FML

#21006901
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33370) - you deserved it (3117)

On 12/27/2013 at 1:40am - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was stood up on a date. Her excuse? "I had to work out." FML

#14249095
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23731) - you deserved it (3116)

On 12/18/2010 at 3:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my doctor told me my ankle has been fractured since last week. I've been helping drywall the basement, and trying to walk up and down stairs for a week. My husband has been telling me to man up, and it's not that bad. FML



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