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Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML

#21230823
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39789) - you deserved it (3247)

On 08/06/2014 at 9:21am - kids - by We raised that fool (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I received a medical bill because my daughter thought it would be hilarious to try and fit her fist in her mouth. She succeeded in getting it in, but not in getting it out. FML

#3907328
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39980) - you deserved it (3246)

On 07/20/2009 at 3:10pm - health - by KnuckleSandwich (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I texted my dad and told him I was getting married in five months. His reply: "I gotta work that day." FML

#13636513
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27907) - you deserved it (3246)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:02am - misc - by Kristinmarsh08 - United States (Texas)

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

#17373472
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40317) - you deserved it (3246)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Creeped_out_n_stuck (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

#17931369
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25176) - you deserved it (3246)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML

#20536585
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29866) - you deserved it (3246)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to show a new student around my school. Normally, that wouldn't be such a bad thing, but the student was my crazy, overly-attached ex. I transferred schools to get away from her in the first place. FML

#21108356
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42982) - you deserved it (3246)

On 04/09/2014 at 8:37am - misc - by not_this_shit_again (man) - Singapore

Today, I had to explain to my father why it isn't a good idea to shove a metal knife into the toaster when trying to get at a small piece of toast. This man is 45-years-old and has a PhD. FML

Today, I was working at the daycare. As I left with my boyfriend, a kid came up to us and said that my boyfriend could do way better. FML

#21251155
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35672) - you deserved it (3246)

On 09/03/2014 at 1:40pm - kids - by unlucky - United States (New York)

Today, while at a local river, I had been pulled underwater by a very fast and strong current. While fighting for my life, I had let go of my sandals so I could pull myself up. After explaining to my mom what had happened to me, her response was "YOU LOST YOUR SANDALS!?" FML

#13111931
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27772) - you deserved it (3245)

On 09/19/2010 at 10:11am - misc - by lifesuck - United States

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

#14952962
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33419) - you deserved it (3245)

On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while at Six Flags my boyfriend won a huge stuffed animal for me. After a whole day of carrying it around, when he dropped me off he told me that he wants the stuffed animal back. He just didn't want to carry it around all day. FML

#17950991
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34314) - you deserved it (3245)

On 10/10/2011 at 9:56am - misc - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

#19942412
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35229) - you deserved it (3246)

On 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm - kids - by Zora (man) - Norway (Hordaland)



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