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Today, my partner and I were spending quality time with a newly single friend. She quoted some song lyrics, saying "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make an ugly woman your wife...". We all laughed, and then my partner said "Boy, you got THAT right." FML

#6739480
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25176) - you deserved it (3398)

On 12/13/2009 at 3:22pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I quit my job after I overheard my boss doing a 'hysterical' impression of me telling her about my dad's heart condition. FML

#15495668
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43729) - you deserved it (3398)

On 03/26/2011 at 8:05am - work - by dinomite -

Today, my girlfriend started a huge fight with me over how I don't have the right to have close female friends anymore. She ended up storming off, and won't return my calls. But no worries: she did just play the word "murder" in our game of Words With Friends. Very comforting. FML

Today, I found out I do not have a fast metabolism, I've actually had a tape worm living inside me for 3 years. FML

#20875969
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58261) - you deserved it (3398)

On 09/10/2013 at 5:41pm - health - by Iskylite (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my driving test. I was really nervous, but I thought I did pretty well in the end. That is until I parked the car and looked to the examiner. He was visibly shaken. He said I'd passed, quickly filled in the paperwork and left. On the downside, my car still smells of his shart. FML

#21339037
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31292) - you deserved it (3398)

On 01/17/2015 at 5:24pm - misc - by for shite's sake (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, as I stepped into the shower, I slipped and fell over the edge of the tub, pulling the shower curtain down with me. I called my roommate to help me up as I put on a towel over me. But before she could help me up, she grabbed her phone to take a picture. The picture became a mass text. FML

#6150429
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29030) - you deserved it (3397)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:40pm - misc - by xo007 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 4 year old cousin is staying overnight. Every time I fall asleep he wakes me up to tell me I fell asleep. FML

#14716778
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33145) - you deserved it (3397)

On 01/26/2011 at 2:48am - kids - by Braelynn -

Today, I fell going down the stairs to the subway platform during rush hour. Someone was kind enough to help me up and someone else was kind enough to steal my iPhone which had fallen out of my pocket and landed nearby. FML

#15581921
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32115) - you deserved it (3397)

On 03/31/2011 at 10:42pm - money - by blegh - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came home to an eviction notice after an apartment inspection. The reason? Having an unauthorized pet that could cause unnecessary damage to my suite. My pet is a goldfish. FML

#19223873
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30038) - you deserved it (3397)

On 03/05/2012 at 9:47pm - animals - by goldfish - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a guy called me out of the blue. Apparently, he'd copied my number from a sheet we'd filled out in church. He doesn't understand why I'm "overreacting". FML

#21335287
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27641) - you deserved it (3397)

On 01/11/2015 at 7:39pm - love - by janegeorge (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was woken up by the massive earthquake in Samoa. I went downstairs to discover that all the hotel staff had fled and abandoned the hotel guests. I was left to run up to higher ground on foot. It was a three hour hike. By the time I got to a safe spot, the tsunami warning was lifted. FML

#5601123
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33939) - you deserved it (3396)

On 10/02/2009 at 6:41am - misc - by greeenbean (woman) - Samoa

Today, I called my parents to wish them a happy 28th anniversary. Now my mom's mad at my dad for forgetting, and my dad's mad at me for reminding her. FML

#13485648
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28861) - you deserved it (3396)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:08pm - love - by JustCantWin - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML

#12474079
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44369) - you deserved it (3396)

On 08/12/2010 at 8:02am - intimacy - by ScarredEars - United States



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