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Today, I was staying over at my boyfriend's house, sleeping in his sister's room while she is away at college. I left my necklace on her dresser. When I came back, it was gone. His mother saw it there and thought it was her daughter's necklace. She hid it so I wouldn't "steal it". FML

#12187023
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31363) - you deserved it (3327)

On 07/29/2010 at 1:29pm - misc - by pandaboo (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML

#19504984
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27471) - you deserved it (3327)

On 04/21/2012 at 4:36am - animals - by yikes - United States

Today, my little brother gave me an open jar of peanut butter for my birthday. I'm deathly allergic, and he knows it. Despite his maniacal grin and snickering, my parents said it was an innocent mistake, and grounded me for yelling at him. FML

#20625530
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52306) - you deserved it (3327)

On 04/27/2013 at 4:23pm - health - by stuckwithafamilyofcunts (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML

#21292789
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28923) - you deserved it (3327)

On 11/05/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by aineroo (woman) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML

#8448273
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20365) - you deserved it (3326)

On 02/19/2010 at 5:00pm - health - by lexiiiiiiweee - United States

Today, some kids used firecrackers to blow up my mailbox. This is the third time this week. FML

#20961862
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38064) - you deserved it (3326)

On 11/18/2013 at 5:14am - kids - by kids next door - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it was the first day of fall break from college, and I was really excited to sleep in and relax the entire weekend. Apparently my boss caught wind of my happiness and scheduled me 8am-2pm each day of break, "seeing how I don't have anything else to do." FML

#5851790
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27758) - you deserved it (3325)

On 10/16/2009 at 2:22pm - work - by cbrocks (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was robbed of five bucks by a vending machine that said "Enjoy Life!" FML

#13220613
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23197) - you deserved it (3326)

On 09/27/2010 at 9:09am - misc - by lovelife - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor of twelve years at the grocery store. Being friendly, I went over to say hello. After I did, she responded by saying that she didn't know me but I look familiar. Finally, she remembered why I'm familiar saying that I look like the dorky guy from Two and a Half Men. FML

#16294249
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27648) - you deserved it (3325)

On 05/22/2011 at 8:18am - misc - by Greig - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML

#19235270
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21196) - you deserved it (3325)

On 03/07/2012 at 8:08pm - work - by Janitor (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML

#19276997
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20402) - you deserved it (3325)

On 03/14/2012 at 11:19am - money - by me - United States (Florida)

Today, due to nervousness, I threw up while proposing to my girlfriend. FML

#19515625
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33238) - you deserved it (3325)

On 04/23/2012 at 5:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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