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Today, I went to the Salvation Army to donate some clothes. As I was handing over the 4 huge bags that I had carried for 10 blocks, while 6 months pregnant, somebody stole my purse. FML

#14211022
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38087) - you deserved it (3207)

On 12/15/2010 at 6:58am - misc - by mugged (woman) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML

#20675025
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47509) - you deserved it (3207)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:57am - kids - by AuntPeePee - United States

Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML

#20797503
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47428) - you deserved it (3207)

On 07/22/2013 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that when my dad said he would pay for my college, he really meant that he was going to forge my signature on a student loan in my name and not make payments on it. FML

#20927730
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45882) - you deserved it (3208)

On 10/20/2013 at 4:34pm - money - by oh... (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my wife pressed a button in the elevator and quickly ran out, leaving me in there with my crying baby. When the elevator arrived at the floor, the doors opened on a wedding reception. The doors couldn't have taken any longer to close again FML

#21276854
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34906) - you deserved it (3207)

On 10/13/2014 at 11:42am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my mom went to a psychic. The reason? She has convinced herself that I'm gay, even though I've told her that I'm not and never have been. The psychic disagreed. Apparently, I'm bicurious with one of my guy friends. Guess who my mom believes? FML

#3137659
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52312) - you deserved it (3206)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I managed to not think too much about how alone I feel living in a strange city, and I went out to find a quiet place to write and eat. After I ordered my meal, I saw that I was the only diner that was sitting alone at a table. Then 'All By Myself' came on the radio. FML

#14040843
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31322) - you deserved it (3206)

On 11/30/2010 at 9:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Italy

Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML

#14325141
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39289) - you deserved it (3206)

On 12/24/2010 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsoclean (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband wrote all these wonderful romantic messages to me via Facebook, proclaiming his love to me in front of all my friends and family. Too bad he hasn't spoken to me in "real life" for almost 3 weeks. FML

#17498431
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28228) - you deserved it (3206)

On 08/17/2011 at 8:13am - misc - by howtragic - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I finally found the perfect quote to open my college essay. Then I found out that the author was one of the founders of the KKK. FML

#20080326
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12685) - you deserved it (3206)

On 09/20/2012 at 2:10am - work - by Albert (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML

#21250632
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35705) - you deserved it (3206)

On 09/02/2014 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met at a speed dating event. He recommended the lamb shank, which I ordered without looking at the menu. When the waiter took my order, my date said, "wait, the lamb is $27, why don't you get the chicken". He then ordered the lamb for himself. FML

Today, my girlfriend's dad offered me $100 to break up with his daughter. I eagerly replied "no", but my girlfriend grabbed the money and said, "deal." FML

#13079046
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34161) - you deserved it (3205)

On 09/16/2010 at 9:30pm - love - by ccblock (man) - United States (Florida)



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