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Today, I went to the allergist. I found out that I am allergic to dogs, cats, wool, fleece, and pet dander. I'm currently planning to go to school to become a veterinarian. FML

#6054413
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35672) - you deserved it (3137)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:36pm - work - by KMack (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was the waiter for my family at the village inn. This wasn't so bad until I found out they left me no tip, only a napkin that said, "Get a haircut." FML

#17106364
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22468) - you deserved it (3137)

On 07/14/2011 at 10:17am - work - by alek - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended like it never happened. FML

Today, my dad, under threats of disowning me, insisted that I offer my sister a job in my company. I run my own law firm, she is a hairdresser. FML

#20838513
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49130) - you deserved it (3136)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:34am - work - by lawman (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, with my name sounding vaguely like 'Turkey' and being in the phonebook for business purposes, people keep calling, offering to stuff me for Thanksgiving. FML

#20973255
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35815) - you deserved it (3136)

On 11/28/2013 at 1:26am - animals - by NotTellingYouMyName (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a woman pushed me at the bar and told me how much she's always hated me. She was my grade five teacher. FML

#6812281
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27492) - you deserved it (3135)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by flurina (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I dropped my remote behind the bed and went to reach for it. Instead of the remote, I grabbed hold of a rat carcass that must have got in when builders were working in my bathroom several weeks ago. FML

#14221771
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27693) - you deserved it (3135)

On 12/16/2010 at 6:54am - misc - by xxmollyxx (woman) - Sweden

Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML

#20137933
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25369) - you deserved it (3135)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by becca (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend moved. He moved from my room... to my housemate's room. FML

#14616202
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28879) - you deserved it (3135) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - love - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I went snowboarding and fell backwards, hitting my head on a patch of ice. When I got home, I told my brother I thought I might have a concussion. He told me I should be a man and suck it, swiftly smacking my head, causing me to pass out. FML

#15221158
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33638) - you deserved it (3134)

On 03/06/2011 at 7:50pm - health - by milkndstufff (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML

#20872688
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40854) - you deserved it (3134)

On 09/08/2013 at 9:07am - love - by laundry day again... - United States

Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML

#20991671
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39707) - you deserved it (3134)

On 12/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by thank u usa (man) - Germany

Today, I let my nephew and his friend spend the night to watch movies. After I fell asleep they stole my liquor and went roaming. When they saw the cop car in front of my house and realized they were busted, they went up to the cop and told them I gave them the alcohol to avoid being grounded. FML

#6201657
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27542) - you deserved it (3133)

On 11/07/2009 at 8:35pm - misc - by AuntSucka (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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