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Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

#20482645
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25954) - you deserved it (3205)

On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I overheard my mother Skyping with her new "boyfriend" about the $1,000 she just sent him. She barely knew what internet dating was three weeks ago. FML

#20748170
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42768) - you deserved it (3205)

On 06/26/2013 at 10:08am - money - by weneedthatmoneytoliveon (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I returned home to find out that my new and very expensive computer had overheated. I confronted my mom, and she told me that she had covered up the fan because she didn't like the noise. FML

#3549532
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55056) - you deserved it (3204)

On 07/07/2009 at 8:16am - misc - by allwaysbuggedinheaven - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom went to a psychic. The reason? She has convinced herself that I'm gay, even though I've told her that I'm not and never have been. The psychic disagreed. Apparently, I'm bicurious with one of my guy friends. Guess who my mom believes? FML

#3137659
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52301) - you deserved it (3204)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got the worst sunburn I've ever had in my life, and then discovered I'm allergic to aloe when I went to treat the burn with some gel. FML

#17288890
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28240) - you deserved it (3204)

On 07/28/2011 at 5:36pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I found out that my stalker ex-girlfriend named her new born son after me. FML

#17794900
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35497) - you deserved it (3204)

On 09/21/2011 at 10:44am - love - by cjy152 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally found the perfect quote to open my college essay. Then I found out that the author was one of the founders of the KKK. FML

#20080326
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12671) - you deserved it (3204)

On 09/20/2012 at 2:10am - work - by Albert (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend started a huge fight with me over how I don't have the right to have close female friends anymore. She ended up storming off, and won't return my calls. But no worries: she did just play the word "murder" in our game of Words With Friends. Very comforting. FML

Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML

#20810418
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43913) - you deserved it (3204)

On 07/29/2013 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my room mate told all of our mutual friends that he had walked in on me doing woodwork in my room. They all thought he meant he had caught me rubbing one out. I'm actually building a guitar. FML

#20883989
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45893) - you deserved it (3204)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by I have wood (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML

#21002133
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42834) - you deserved it (3204)

On 12/23/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by GogglesGoggles - United States

Today, my boss told our production department that we're not allowed to be happy. FML

#21129081
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38159) - you deserved it (3204)

On 05/02/2014 at 8:03pm - work - by i guess (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it's been three weeks since my dad finished growing what he calls a "Jesus beard" and gone out asking for donations and claiming to be Jesus Christ. I've been trying and failing to get a job for 2 years, and he's already raking in cash from gullible idiots. FML

#21247834
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36154) - you deserved it (3204)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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