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Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML

#7340967
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25310) - you deserved it (3545)

On 01/14/2010 at 4:56pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to convince my girlfriend that, no matter how much she makes herself burp, she won't lose any weight. She still doesn't understand why. FML

#18503694
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27238) - you deserved it (3545)

On 12/13/2011 at 3:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened. FML

#19956706
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35767) - you deserved it (3545)

On 07/18/2012 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by Awkward - United States (California)

Today, I told my physiotherapist a funny story. She got so entertained that she started giggling and twisted my broken arm. The pain was worse than when it broke in the first place. FML

#21251280
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33807) - you deserved it (3545)

On 09/03/2014 at 5:30pm - health - by svenska75 (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss flipped me off in traffic on my way to work. FML

#21303116
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29862) - you deserved it (3545)

On 11/21/2014 at 1:11am - work - by TJ AJ RJ / IV the V - United States (California)

Today, after a great treadmill run at my gym, I noticed a stain on my clothing. Apparently my nipple chafed so badly that it bled through my white t-shirt, and I'd walked around the gym completely oblivious. FML

#17898016
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27889) - you deserved it (3544)

On 10/03/2011 at 7:19pm - health - by sorenips - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend and I were preparing for the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. I tasked him with going out to buy emergency groceries in case we lose power. He returned with dozens of microwave cup noodles. We're going to starve. FML

#20137235
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24998) - you deserved it (3544)

On 10/28/2012 at 4:14pm - love - by cupnoodles (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML

#20073442
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21924) - you deserved it (3544)

On 09/15/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by FullMonty (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my study partner for my biology class didn't go to lecture. Not once has he gone to lecture. I went to almost every lecture. He got better grades than I did. FML

#2101
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22175) - you deserved it (3543)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by noodle - United States (California)

Today, as I was driving with my boyfriend, he pointed out what a crappy car I drive. About how the locks don't work, the vents are broken, the windshield wipers are busted, my headlights aren't bright, and a hubcap is missing. Then he said I’m a good match for my car, 'cos we have the same “personality". FML

#5969153
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29700) - you deserved it (3543)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:07am - love - by Clunker (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I went to see my boyfriend for comfort because I was in so much pain. The first thing he asked me when I saw him with huge cheeks? When would be the next time I could give him a blowjob. FML

#8771730
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19019) - you deserved it (3543)

On 03/02/2010 at 11:58am - intimacy - by fatcheeks (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "my mom is SO awesome." FML

#14128244
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31031) - you deserved it (3543)

On 12/08/2010 at 3:22am - intimacy - by ooblie (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while going to lunch with my boss, he asked me to check and see if the other lane was clear. When I did, he swerved hard, making me smack my head into the door window. This is apparently his new favorite thing to do. FML

#11490873
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29460) - you deserved it (3543)

On 06/27/2010 at 3:43am - work - by Daniel - United States



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