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Today, I had six friends round for pizza. When I went to answer the door to the delivery, my friends turned off the lights and pretended they weren't there when I shouted for help carrying all the food. Not only does the cute delivery guy think I'm greedy, but also that I have imaginary friends. FML

#6464238
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25815) - you deserved it (3101)

On 11/26/2009 at 3:30pm - misc - by has-evil-friends (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I had to break up a fistfight between my wife and mother. Apparently, my mom heard that I finally got the great paying job of my dreams, and told my wife I'd finally kick her "useless ass to the curb." We have to spend the holidays together. FML

#18056102
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25177) - you deserved it (3101)

On 10/23/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my sister drove past me while i was walking home in the rain, she honked to let me know she was there, and kept on driving. FML

#16480060
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35204) - you deserved it (3101)

On 06/03/2011 at 4:55am - misc - by myhairgetsfrizzywhenwet (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was telling my best friend that I was feeling unattractive, and that I never get asked out. As she was trying to make me feel better, we were interrupted by a stranger trying to hit on her. FML

#19769675
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24990) - you deserved it (3101)

On 06/11/2012 at 8:01am - love - by ugly (woman) - Australia

Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML

#4293059
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46719) - you deserved it (3100)

On 08/04/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by andi0804 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML

#8515469
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24122) - you deserved it (3100)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by charliesangel123 (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I decided to fix my bike and take it for a test ride. Five minutes in, a bee flew into my eye and stung me. In pain, I thought it would be best to go home. I turned around to find a big pitbull running towards me. The dog chased me for a mile before giving up. FML

Today, after disappearing for an unusually long period of time, my boss called the store phone while sitting on the toilet. Turns out she'd started bleeding uncontrollably from the arse, and as the only other female staff member, she needed me to go help her. FML

#15151790
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31300) - you deserved it (3100)

On 02/28/2011 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML

#18630466
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31188) - you deserved it (3100)

On 12/28/2011 at 12:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was walking home, a car drove through a puddle and splashed me like in a cheesy movie. As if that wasn't annoying enough, the driver had to pull over because she was laughing too hard. FML

#20907968
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43914) - you deserved it (3100)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by CelibateHero (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my car got a wheel lock because I had 5 tickets. Three of those tickets dated back to 2006. I got my car and license in 2008. FML

#7835541
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28208) - you deserved it (3099)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:11am - money - by olyswimmer (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I dropped my remote behind the bed and went to reach for it. Instead of the remote, I grabbed hold of a rat carcass that must have got in when builders were working in my bathroom several weeks ago. FML

#14221771
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27362) - you deserved it (3099)

On 12/16/2010 at 6:54am - misc - by xxmollyxx (woman) - Sweden

Today, I used a fire extinguisher for the first time. Too bad it was on my car. FML

#16523437
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25039) - you deserved it (3099)

On 06/06/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Username - United States



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