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Today, my nephews discovered how to trick my washing machine into starting up while the door is still open. My laundry room is now flooded, and their mom refuses to accept any responsibility for it. FML

Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML

#3856555
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53193) - you deserved it (3672)

On 07/18/2009 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend sat me down to reassure me that his competitive, possessive ex-wife will not come between us or ruin our relationship. Mid-conversation, his phone rang. It was her, and he left to answer it. FML

#12804973
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28730) - you deserved it (3672)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:58pm - love - by ForgottenAgain (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend. The same guy that told me he was still in Florida with his family. FML

#11889011
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39857) - you deserved it (3672)

On 07/15/2010 at 12:12am - love - by sunkissedberries - United States

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

#17625902
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33919) - you deserved it (3672)

On 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by mystupidson (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to the Apple store to try and figure out what's going on with my iPhone. After an hour of speaking to three different geniuses and waiting around, their solution was to "Google it." FML

#20171869
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24315) - you deserved it (3672)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:42am - misc - by Jo - United States (California)

Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML

#20724048
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53695) - you deserved it (3672)

On 06/13/2013 at 6:12pm - misc - by thatisfuckedup - United Kingdom

Today, whilst laying in bed with my girlfriend, she received a flirty message from her ex on her phone asking if she wanted to go to the cinema. She replied, knowing I could see the screen. The messages were signed with a love heart and about 15 kisses. She claims they are still just friends. FML

#21362430
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32955) - you deserved it (3672)

On 02/24/2015 at 6:50am - love - by anonymous - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML

#13432971
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44639) - you deserved it (3671)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Brunei Darussalam

Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML

#14416914
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36525) - you deserved it (3671)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:06am - work - by Chris - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML

#18750908
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25248) - you deserved it (3671)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my psycho, animal-hating neighbour "accidentally" ran over my cat. This is the second time he's "accidentally" done this to a neighbourhood pet since he moved in, three weeks ago. FML

#21157136
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49070) - you deserved it (3671)

On 05/30/2014 at 1:28pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend slept with my sister. "Accidentally", apparently. FML

#21322801
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41544) - you deserved it (3671)

On 12/23/2014 at 4:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)



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