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Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML

#15149295
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31053) - you deserved it (2658)

On 02/28/2011 at 6:21am - love - by misswhiskers (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the gynecologist for the first time. I was so nervous that when she extended her hand to shake mine, I gave her my handbag instead. FML

#18792975
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17719) - you deserved it (2658)

On 01/13/2012 at 2:48am - health - by shellie - Reserved

Today, I was in a music shop looking for a new guitar when someone called out someone else's name and jumped on my back. I lost balance and fell forward and broke 3 guitars and damaged another 6. The guy said "Sorry, thought you were someone else" and ran out. I now have to pay £2500. FML

#3741776
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59425) - you deserved it (2657)

On 07/14/2009 at 9:39am - money - by SomeoneElse (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

#4644829
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60098) - you deserved it (2657)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was looking for a parking spot and finally found one. Trying to figure out if the spot was legal, I asked a cop that had pulled up. He said it was fine. I came back 3 hours later to a parking ticket. FML

#11945278
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31910) - you deserved it (2657)

On 07/17/2010 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I brought my girlfriend over to her first dinner with my family. My gramps spent the entire dinner telling my girlfriend how the Illuminati are plotting to take over the world and use microchips to control everyone. So much for being taken seriously now. FML

#18284255
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20533) - you deserved it (2657)

On 11/18/2011 at 8:58pm - love - by Trey - United States (Texas)

Today, while looking in the mirror at my full-blown grease-spewing acne-riddled face, my father came up behind me and said, "Don't worry son, I had acne like that when I was your age". I replied, "No you didn't", and his immediate response while laughing was, "No, I didn't." FML

#18843385
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25859) - you deserved it (2657)

On 01/18/2012 at 10:18am - health - by harshdoobie (man) - Canada

Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML

#20012686
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20374) - you deserved it (2657)

On 08/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by banana2894 - United States (Oregon)

Today, someone came over and told my mother, "I'm your son's friend Morris, I need to get something out of his car", so she gave him the keys. I have no friend called Morris, and now I don't have a sound system either. FML

#17266001
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32585) - you deserved it (2656)

On 07/26/2011 at 9:35am - misc - by ceetee - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while working in childcare, we went to a farm so the kids could see how things worked. They started showing off prize winning cattle and when they bought out "Miss Stacey", the kids lost their shit. My name is Miss Stacey. FML

#20550321
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30412) - you deserved it (2656)

On 03/19/2013 at 1:00am - work - by seriously! - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the girl I've had a crush on decided she wanted to see a movie with me. I tried to hold her hand during the movie and it was great for about 4 minutes. Then she said "Can I have my hand back?" FML

#1552
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18038) - you deserved it (2655)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:12am - love - by vargasm - United States (New York)

Today, I turned 18. I thought it was bad enough that I had to pick up my own ice cream cake from the store, but then when I got home, my family discovered no more room in the freezer. They decided to eat it so it wouldn't melt. Without me. FML

Today, I was having a serious discussion with my girlfriend of 11 months. I broke the news that I was diagnosed with Lymphoma and I needed her support through my treatments. Ten minutes after, I receive a text saying that she can't endure the pain and stress that I'm causing her, and that we're done. FML

#4418486
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60059) - you deserved it (2655)

On 08/10/2009 at 12:41am - health - by Very_Bad_Luck (man) - United States (Florida)



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