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Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me because we are different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML

#6778697
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40886) - you deserved it (3214)

On 12/16/2009 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML

#14594110
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35384) - you deserved it (3214)

On 01/15/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML

#19818500
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24581) - you deserved it (3214)

On 06/20/2012 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I ran into a former co-worker who I hadn't seen in years. She was raving at how I hadn't aged a bit, but before I could thank her she said, "But, you know, chubby people age better." FML

#20492811
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25973) - you deserved it (3214)

On 02/04/2013 at 7:17am - work - by Colleen Nichols - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I attended my first day of school 4 days after reconstructive surgery. But no worries: I'm sure my alien-like appearance and 2 hours of Darth Vader style breathing in an otherwise silent test room will make me lots of friends. FML

Today, I met up on a blind date. He took a phone call one drink in and said he had to leave because he didn't know it was his buddy's birthday, and they were having a party without him. I offered to split the bill and put out a $20. He got up, unlocked the bicycle behind us and rode off. FML

#20927940
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37002) - you deserved it (3214)

On 10/20/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by single (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me out to meet his friends. It was going really well until I left to use the bathroom and two of the girls with us came in and started talking about how creepy Matt's new girlfriend is and that they're happy he's going to dump her. My boyfriend is Matt. FML

#4647409
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45001) - you deserved it (3213)

On 08/19/2009 at 1:55am - love - by fuuuudge (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend told me that we should take a break from our relationship, because it'd be best for the both of us. Later, I found out that she really meant it'd be best for her and her new boyfriend. FML

#11866175
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37139) - you deserved it (3213)

On 07/14/2010 at 1:08am - love - by Depressed (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a toothache and applied some numbing gel to soothe the pain. Too much came out and made my whole mouth numb. A man came into my work, thought I was making fun of his lisp, and stormed out really upset. He later called to complain about me. The boss just called me to his office. FML

#13688045
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23461) - you deserved it (3213)

On 11/02/2010 at 1:20pm - work - by speechless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

#15857597
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33513) - you deserved it (3213)

On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -

Today, my aunt borrowed my favorite shirt. Don't worry, she returned it. Complete with jizz stains. FML

#20024649
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33270) - you deserved it (3213)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by itwasmyfavoriteshirt - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I got yelled, screamed, and cursed at by a customer until I was reduced to tears. This was all because I double-checked to make sure she wanted large fries. FML

#21266131
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36750) - you deserved it (3213)

On 09/27/2014 at 12:22am - work - by heretoserve (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41304) - you deserved it (3213)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)



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