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Today, I was in the car with my mom. We were discussing my brother, how he's been screwing up majorly lately and she blamed it on his friends. Then she turned to me and said, "It's a good thing you've never had any friends." FML

#14189966
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27492) - you deserved it (3440)

On 12/13/2010 at 11:29am - misc - by Amanda - United States

Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML

#21371903
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34188) - you deserved it (3440)

On 03/10/2015 at 3:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, my girlfriend broke up me with for being the "perfect boyfriend". Apparently I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had, and she didn't know how to take it. So she dumped me. FML

#6414657
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43798) - you deserved it (3439)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:59pm - love - by Micheal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while at training with several of my co-workers, I realized I was the only woman. The only thing one of them said to me the entire day was "DUDE!" while staring at my chest as I took my coat off in the morning. FML

#14558883
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23395) - you deserved it (3439)

On 01/12/2011 at 9:15pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I saw my bike locked outside a Starbucks down the street from my house. It was stolen about 10 days ago from my communal laundry room. There was even a cop parked across the street, but I have no proof to show that bike even belonged to me. FML

#16654852
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29681) - you deserved it (3439)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:10am - misc - by chris - United States

Today, my power finally came back on. I excitedly went and spent $100 to refill my fridge, only to come back home and discover the power is out again, and might not be back on for another three days. FML

Today, I gave a big presentation to my class. It included PowerPoint slides and video clips of the country I'd been researching. Another student did a presentation on the same country, except he just read from its Wikipedia page. He practically got a standing ovation. I got a single clap. FML

#20638884
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44457) - you deserved it (3439)

On 05/03/2013 at 12:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was formally diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive tendencies. My mom saw this as an excuse to make me clean the whole house top to bottom, because "Hey, you love to clean." FML

#20855277
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42739) - you deserved it (3439)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by ocdistheworst (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend invited me over for the first time. I pulled up to her house just to be denied at the front door by her mum. She'd invited me over to break up with me, but had her mum do it for her. FML

#20876765
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54111) - you deserved it (3439)

On 09/11/2013 at 5:30am - love - by AnonymousLoser (man) - United Kingdom

Today, it was my first ever live piano performance. It went all great until the end, when I stood up, slipped, and smashed face-first into the keys. I've lost half a tooth and all my dignity. FML

#21100221
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43028) - you deserved it (3439)

On 03/30/2014 at 2:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I walked past two guys on the street. I heard one of them whisper, "Jeez, that girl looks like Donald Trump." FML

#13268131
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23928) - you deserved it (3438)

On 09/30/2010 at 8:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend put my phone number on Craigslist. I still can't find the ad, but obviously everyone else can because I still haven't stopped receiving naked pictures. FML

#20419133
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33530) - you deserved it (3438)

On 12/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Chanman1924 - United States

Today, as I was about to open a door at school, a student opened it and hit me. As I recovered and was about to open it again, someone else opened the door, hitting me again. Everyone laughed. FML

#20527903
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32967) - you deserved it (3438)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Doors Hate Me - United States



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