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Today, I found out I can't go to my best friend's birthday party. To cheer me up, my parents decided to take me and my brother to my favorite pizzeria for dinner. When I was ready and went downstairs, I discovered they left already. They forgot me. FML

#17130002
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32067) - you deserved it (2661)

On 07/16/2011 at 12:25am - misc - by jordy1995 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was teaching a ten year old how to play piano. Halfway through the lesson, she made a minor mistake, which, trying to be a good tutor, I corrected her. She smiled up at me, paused, then slammed the key cover down onto my fingers. FML

#6245178
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31784) - you deserved it (2660)

On 11/10/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by PiaNO (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML

#20163308
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17654) - you deserved it (2660)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to work at my job as a secretary. I had been given the task to file my boss's collection of Playboy magazines alphabetically by name of the centerfold. There was one for every month from the years of 1980 until now. FML

#20895973
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33106) - you deserved it (2661)

On 09/25/2013 at 7:22pm - work - by Abcporn (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that my dad paid for my sister's friend's airplane ticket so she could attend my sister's wedding. I would have been there myself, but I couldn't afford the airplane ticket. FML

#20978054
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47191) - you deserved it (2660)

On 12/02/2013 at 8:28am - money - by Akestarr - United States (Indiana)

Today, my mother told her friends that I work as a call girl. I'm a call center agent. FML

#20989169
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34614) - you deserved it (2660)

On 12/11/2013 at 5:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Luxembourg

Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing hysterically and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML

#5770681
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24641) - you deserved it (2659)

On 10/11/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by foxbrat - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I learned that my boyfriend hides valuables in the washing machine under dirty clothes when leaving town for the weekend. I learned this AFTER I'd done a load of laundry. FML

#5781865
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23280) - you deserved it (2659)

On 10/11/2009 at 7:30pm - misc - by washed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent all day organizing a list of electronic parts for my boss. I found the easiest way was to color problem parts in the spreadsheet red and okay parts green. After I finished at the end of the day, I found out my boss is red-green colorblind. FML

#7297645
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23406) - you deserved it (2659)

On 01/12/2010 at 10:08am - work - by Colormered - France

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend jumping on my bed exclaiming that he had "won the lottery." He broke the bed. Turns out he only won £15.80. FML

#11790299
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27824) - you deserved it (2659)

On 07/10/2010 at 8:03am - money - by Ecce (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was feeling nauseous and my cat was comforting me. I breathed in through my nose, and my cat's fur caused me to sneeze. I sneezed so hard, I threw up out my nose. Nothing will get rid of the smell from within my nasal cavity. FML

#13934575
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22887) - you deserved it (2659)

On 11/22/2010 at 6:33am - health - by can't breathe - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I received my first wedding present in the mail. I opened it immediately and called the sender to say thanks. She yelled at me for opening it and, because she shipped it to me by mistake, requested it back. FML

#14964211
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22822) - you deserved it (2659)

On 02/13/2011 at 9:22pm - misc - by bride2be (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my wife screamed at me, calling me a "useless, ungrateful piece of crap", all because I wouldn't have sex with her, despite hours of her nagging. I said no because I've been laid-up in bed for the past week waiting on surgery for an excruciatingly painful hernia. FML

#18986736
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29955) - you deserved it (2659)

On 02/03/2012 at 8:17pm - intimacy - by B (man) - United States



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