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Today, I was potty training my nephew. He had been on the toilet for almost twenty minutes and could not go. My phone started ringing, and as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet. He then peed and pooped on it. FML

#7642082
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28037) - you deserved it (3349)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:55pm - kids - by jmitch1209 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had the day off from work. I did all the chores hoping to free up time to spend with my husband tonight. When he came home, he looked around and decided that since there was no need for him to stick around and help clean, he'd head to the bar to watch the game with the guys. FML

#14666590
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24523) - you deserved it (3349)

On 01/21/2011 at 9:18pm - misc - by marriageblows - United States (South Dakota)

Today, someone broke into my car just to steal the freshly baked cookies in the back seat. They also left a thank you note. FML

#17384157
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29266) - you deserved it (3349)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by nomorecookies - United States (Missouri)

Today, while looking through pictures of my boyfriend and me on Facebook, I noticed that in practically every single one featuring my best friend, his eyes are directed down her shirt. FML

#19905936
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25137) - you deserved it (3349)

On 07/07/2012 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44387) - you deserved it (3349)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after spending a few minutes de-icing my car and leaving the heat on so it would warm up, I slipped as I was entering the car and hit my head on the door, causing it to close and lock. I'm waiting for my mom who has a spare key to come and unlock it. Class started ten minutes ago. FML

#7613862
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22487) - you deserved it (3348)

On 01/27/2010 at 3:03pm - misc - by katie - Sent from mobile version

Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML

#7340967
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23082) - you deserved it (3348)

On 01/14/2010 at 4:56pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my college professor handed every student a note card and told us to rate his looks from 1 to 5. Is this what I pay $20,000 a year for? FML

#14716762
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28134) - you deserved it (3348)

On 01/26/2011 at 2:45am - misc - by SLOMan90 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was running late and rushing to a waiting bus. I made it to the doors just as they closed. I knocked desperately, hoping the driver would let me in. He hovered his hand over the button for a few seconds, then flipped me off and drove away laughing. FML

#14325917
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30067) - you deserved it (3348)

On 12/24/2010 at 5:32pm - misc - by hahahano (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend dumped me was because his parents don't like the fact that I go to a prestigious university. However, they're completely accepting of the drunken slob who's dating their daughter. FML

#15294376
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34201) - you deserved it (3348)

On 03/13/2011 at 3:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

#17742540
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34721) - you deserved it (3348)

On 09/14/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by jumpedjogger - United States (Georgia)

Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML

#20513781
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26188) - you deserved it (3348)

On 02/19/2013 at 6:07pm - love - by Forever alone Guy - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I left for work. Halfway to my car, my neighbour's son jumped out and emptied a bucket of water all over me. The little pissant screamed with laughter and ran back to his house. His mum's reaction was essentially "kids will be kids" and slamming the door on me. FML

#21074103
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41064) - you deserved it (3348)

On 02/28/2014 at 3:01pm - kids - by HeMayHaveSomeIssues (man) - Denmark



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