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Today, I took the biggest, most excruciatingly painful crap of my life. It was so bad that I couldn't walk straight for a good 20 minutes afterwards. Long enough for my boyfriend to film me limping around and post the clip to Facebook with the caption "#anal ftw ;)". FML

#21379420
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31785) - you deserved it (3856)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking to a colleague about love. He told me he's given up on love because things ended badly with a previous girl. I said, "Maybe it wasn't meant to be, and she wasn't the one." He then said the reason it didn't work out was because she killed herself. FML

#21458398
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26051) - you deserved it (3856)

On 08/20/2015 at 8:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my little sister thought it'd be cool to pierce my nose while I was asleep. FML

#4678822
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50663) - you deserved it (3855)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by NoseInPain (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after months of enduring my neighbors relentlessly yapping schnauzer, Molly, I moved into a new building. I was greeted by my new neighbor and her yapping rat terrier, Molly. FML

#5413899
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41373) - you deserved it (3855)

On 09/22/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by bellaellaella (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

#8409963
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22329) - you deserved it (3855)

On 02/18/2010 at 3:08pm - love - by gp28 - United States

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

#17404409
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56904) - you deserved it (3855)

On 08/08/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked in on my mom ranting on about what a useless bitch I am. She was talking to my cat. It's not the first time this has happened, either. FML

#17471195
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33889) - you deserved it (3855)

On 08/14/2011 at 3:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was talking about phobias and anxiety disorders in psychology class. I nearly had a panic attack because I was worried that someone might realize I suffer from them. FML

#19370577
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24285) - you deserved it (3855)

On 03/29/2012 at 4:16pm - work - by nicoleee - United States

Today, I found out that I owed my school $0.20. They decided to charge me a late fee of $20 for deferring the intial payment. FML

#5814625
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28933) - you deserved it (3854)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:04am - money - by latepayer (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

#6563359
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52605) - you deserved it (3854)

On 12/02/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by errrmkl46 - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boss lectured me on the evils of alcohol and how it was 'prohibited' during the 1980s. I said nothing because he hates being corrected. FML

#15174288
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28211) - you deserved it (3854)

On 03/02/2011 at 10:28am - work - by Squinty6 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML

#20575140
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43295) - you deserved it (3854)

On 04/04/2013 at 7:55pm - kids - by icanthearyou (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got mugged on the way to my 21st birthday party at a bar. I begged the thug to at least throw me my ID, only to have him laugh and run away singing "happy birthday". FML

#20711068
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59960) - you deserved it (3854)

On 06/07/2013 at 1:14am - money - by ididntevendrinkthatnight - United States (New York)



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