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Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital. According to witnesses, a guy came up and hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Apparently that's a thing that happens now. But it's okay, he had an excuse: he said he was drunk. FML

#21168803
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47178) - you deserved it (3484)

On 06/09/2014 at 9:56pm - health - by Harry (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in India. At the airport, the men and women were being searched separately. The guy welcoming us pointed me towards the women's area. I had to explain to him that I was a guy. It took 15 minutes. FML

#396
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27950) - you deserved it (3483)

On 11/27/2008 at 12:30am - misc - by ... - Sent from mobile version

Today, it was my 21st birthday. All my friends showed up at my house already drunk, so I had to be the designated driver. FML

#4617749
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49457) - you deserved it (3483)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by thedd (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my girlfriend of four years is legally married to a man in prison. He gets out next week. FML

#14254809
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41797) - you deserved it (3483)

On 12/19/2010 at 12:14am - love - by fouryearswasted - United States

Today, my landlord came and beat on my door demanding the rent check. I just got home from a trip and my wife was supposed to pay it while I was away. What happened to the money? Black Friday. FML

#18515072
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28559) - you deserved it (3483)

On 12/14/2011 at 9:46pm - money - by kittyslayer (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be romantic to take me to a strip club for our 1-year anniversary. FML

#21382971
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28320) - you deserved it (3483)

On 03/28/2015 at 1:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a text message from a number I didn't know telling me, "Fine. It's over, have a wonderful life." I've never had a girlfriend and now I get broken up with by girls I don't even know. FML

#5815085
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32486) - you deserved it (3482)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:52am - love - by dudezilla (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, the only person to wish me a Happy Valentine's day was a wrong number calling my cell phone. FML

#14981056
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29974) - you deserved it (3482)

On 02/14/2011 at 10:07pm - love - by moe (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was talking with my mom about getting the my school photos retouched. I believe her exact words were, "They'll take one look at you, and charge me triple." FML

#17407714
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29189) - you deserved it (3482)

On 08/08/2011 at 2:12pm - misc - by yupppp (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after a busy afternoon taking care of the kids, I was feeling really down about only being a mom these days, and I was hoping my husband would make me feel better when he got off work. In the middle of cuddling, he called me "mom." FML

#19991026
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20320) - you deserved it (3482)

On 07/29/2012 at 4:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I caught my roommate pouring back his leftover milk from his cereal back into the jug to "save money." FML

#20799167
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46085) - you deserved it (3482)

On 07/23/2013 at 9:21am - misc - by why (man) -

Today, my band members and I were brainstorming ideas to help increase our fan base. My drummer suggested they replace me for someone attractive. Everyone agreed and now they are trying to kick me out of the band I started. FML

#20986659
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46618) - you deserved it (3482)

On 12/09/2013 at 6:25pm - misc - by YouAssholes - United States (California)

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49322) - you deserved it (3482)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States



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