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Today, I finally decided to stand up for myself and quit my crappy job working for my abusive father. I gave him a few insults too, to which he reacted by calling the police and claiming I'd threatened to murder him. I spent three hours in jail before they finally let me go. FML

#20916390
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41983) - you deserved it (3659)

On 10/11/2013 at 12:43pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went to the bar to celebrate my friend's birthday party. I gave the bouncer my ID and he kicked me out, saying that I should at least use an ID card with the correct gender. I'm 22 and female, he thought I was an underage boy. FML

#5497361
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37677) - you deserved it (3658)

On 09/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, it was a pretty nice day so I decided I would take a walk through the park to get to work instead of driving. Healthier and better for the planet, right? Wrong. Some little bratty kids were bored apparently and decided to hide behind trees and peg me with water balloons. FML

#4074365
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36768) - you deserved it (3658)

On 07/27/2009 at 4:35am - misc - by waterballoons (man) - United States (California)

Today, my condo board refused to lift the new policy requiring pet owners to carry dogs in common areas because someone's dog is peeing in the hall. I can't physically carry my two dogs, so I'm now forced to wheel them through the building in a borrowed baby stroller. FML

#6351761
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30205) - you deserved it (3658)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:50am - animals - by Slivered - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a girl I work with was talking to me in an Eeyore voice. I'm not sure if it's because she's sad and pathetic, or if she thinks I'm sad and pathetic. FML

#13155074
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20452) - you deserved it (3658)

On 09/22/2010 at 10:36am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML

#17487537
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31293) - you deserved it (3658)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Stevie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got the bill for the flowers my husband arranged to be delivered to me while he's out of town next week. I also got the bill for the flowers he's sending to the floozy he'll be seeing next week while he's out of town. The gift tag for it was: "I can't wait to see you." FML

#20706851
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57855) - you deserved it (3658)

On 06/05/2013 at 1:02am - love - by Justme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my first day at my new job. I had to break up two fistfights, then leave work early with a black eye. This is not what I had in mind when I applied to work at a retirement home. FML

#20820605
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50408) - you deserved it (3658)

On 08/04/2013 at 4:51pm - work - by x_o (man) - Hungary (Gyor-Moson-Sopron)

Today, I realized that I get more turned on by my exercise bike than my boyfriend of 4 years. FML

#8653612
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17256) - you deserved it (3657)

On 02/25/2010 at 11:20pm - intimacy - by Katrina641 - Sent from mobile version

Today, after not receiving my paycheck for over a month, I confronted my boss about it. His response? "You still work here?" FML

#17023007
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36951) - you deserved it (3657)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:10am - work - by outofajob - United States

Today, my therapist clapped for me when I told her I'd made a friend. FML

#19195377
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28560) - you deserved it (3657)

On 03/01/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by ohdang - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML

#20115322
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29424) - you deserved it (3657)

On 10/13/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was formally diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive tendencies. My mom saw this as an excuse to make me clean the whole house top to bottom, because "Hey, you love to clean." FML

#20855277
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45145) - you deserved it (3657)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by ocdistheworst (woman) - United States (California)



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