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Today, I saw some pictures of my boyfriend drunkenly kissing his ex on Facebook. I asked him about it, and he reassured me the pictures were from months ago. Unfortunately for him, I happened to notice a small tattoo on his neck. The same tattoo I went with him just last week to get. FML

Today, I found out that since there are 3 people with the same name as me at work, I'm known as "the ugly one". FML

#20973400
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43491) - you deserved it (3179)

On 11/28/2013 at 6:41am - work - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after I have spent $3,000 dollars in preparations to move in with my girlfriend of 2 and 1/2 years, she confesses she's a mental patient who stole someone elses identity. She was telling the truth. FML

#5811757
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36427) - you deserved it (3178)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by IMayBeAFool (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML

#8246402
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18160) - you deserved it (3178)

On 02/14/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by DallasGal (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that my husband is a tad paranoid after finding out that our cat has worms. He and I were in the middle of sharing a romantic shower following something of a dry spell when he bent over, spread his cheeks apart and asked, in earnest, "is there a worm sticking out of my ass?" FML

#12926382
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32784) - you deserved it (3178)

On 09/06/2010 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML

#19827814
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22912) - you deserved it (3178)

On 06/22/2012 at 3:28am - work - by me - United States (Indiana)

Today, on a flight, I needed to use the restroom. The passenger next to me was in a deep sleep, and was very large, so I couldn't get out by climbing over him. The urge got severe, so I resorted to tapping him on the shoulder. Turns out he had some nice reflexes and hit me in the face. FML

#21229781
71 comments

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

#7103723
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19716) - you deserved it (3177)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by xxxzzzooo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is cheating on me when she was arrested for having sex in public. Not with me though. FML

#17173696
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40305) - you deserved it (3177)

On 07/19/2011 at 3:40am - intimacy - by ken - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

#20091837
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23409) - you deserved it (3177)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I took my girlfriend to eat out at a restaurant. We chatted for an hour, and it all seemed to be going well, until she told me that she wanted to break up. Waiting for the bill and driving her home was the most painful time of my life. FML

#20577445
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40119) - you deserved it (3177)

On 04/06/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend's crazy ex, who let herself in with her old key. She screamed at me to get out of "her" bed, snatched "her" blanket off of my body, and finally dragged the bed itself out the door. I was still in it. FML

Today, working as a life guard, I walked through the changing room to go back to the pool. On the way, a naked old man started up a conversation with me. We talked for 10 minutes about pool chemicals, while his penis wobbled around with every small movement. This happens all the time. FML

#17927200
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25689) - you deserved it (3176)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:58am - work - by Dr.Octopus454 (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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