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Today, I was walking in the park, when a kid ran up and hit me in the stomach. He said, "Don't get mad, get glad!" and ran off. FML

Today, after a very heartfelt conversation with my mother, I promised her that I'd quit smoking. I walked in on her smoking my cigarettes an hour later. Her excuse was that she didn't want my money to have gone to waste. FML

#20468389
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28509) - you deserved it (3866)

On 01/19/2013 at 7:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was mugged in a public bathroom. All I had on me was a plastic sheriff's badge, so I gave it to them. They laughed me out of the restroom. FML

#20928153
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38352) - you deserved it (3866)

On 10/20/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by the_lameo_geek (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML

#20961774
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35211) - you deserved it (3866)

On 11/18/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by kb (woman) - United States

Today, my water pipes froze and burst and I now have to take snow from my back yard and boil it down into water in order to flush my toilet. FML

Today, someone hit my parked car. The impact caused the front of the car to go up onto the sidewalk, and I got a ticket for parking there. FML

#21046882
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50588) - you deserved it (3866)

On 02/01/2014 at 2:47am - misc - by ccgundum (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got the earlier bus to avoid my ex after a painful breakup. He had the same idea. FML

#21370976
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36043) - you deserved it (3866)

On 03/09/2015 at 3:52am - love - by sadex -

Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML

#7203649
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30422) - you deserved it (3866)

On 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm - misc - by James4929 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I hurt my back while exercising. I can't bend over or lift my arms above my head without intense pain. My husband, however, finds my situation hilarious and has moved everything I use frequently to either the floor or high shelf. He giggles every time I try to retrieve anything. FML

Today, I had to explain to one of my high school students that the importance of Pearl Harbor was not, in fact, because the Japanese stole the US pearl supply. FML

#21020544
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44811) - you deserved it (3865)

On 01/07/2014 at 7:00pm - work - by tpj24 - United States (Iowa)

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

#21210892
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55157) - you deserved it (3865)

On 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm - kids - by fuck you, kid (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to "Get a life. Or better pickup lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML

#21377103
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30918) - you deserved it (3864)

On 03/18/2015 at 1:40pm - misc - by fuck (man) - Netherlands

Today, I was in bed next to the boy I loved, he had just came and passed out immediately afterwards. I reached over to look at my phone but grabbed his instead and saw a text message from his ex-girlfriend that read "I love you too." FML

#3029
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49300) - you deserved it (3863)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by splooge - United States (Virginia)



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