Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I started my new job as a teacher. Worried about how I looked, I asked a coworker if I looked okay. She said, "You look fine. Just like a normal high school kid." I spent the next half hour convincing her that I was not a student, but a teacher. FML

#17569578
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24637) - you deserved it (3165)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:33pm - work - by Meagan smith - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML

#19281835
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28409) - you deserved it (3165)

On 03/15/2012 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

#20872880
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49449) - you deserved it (3165)

On 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, I went shopping with my Mom. I ran into my crush. A school dance is soon and he WAS just about to ask something but my mom glanced over and yelled "TAMPONS OR PADS, SWEETIE?!" He then changed his question to "Haha, so which?" And before I could say a word, my mother answered for me. FML

#12695884
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36836) - you deserved it (3164)

On 08/23/2010 at 2:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I managed to not think too much about how alone I feel living in a strange city, and I went out to find a quiet place to write and eat. After I ordered my meal, I saw that I was the only diner that was sitting alone at a table. Then 'All By Myself' came on the radio. FML

#14040843
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30861) - you deserved it (3164)

On 11/30/2010 at 9:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Italy

Today, I went to a restaurant and sat at the last available table, which had a seat available across from me. A cute girl approached and asked if she could sit down, so I said "Sure" and made some room. She then asked "You're leaving, right?" FML

Today, my boyfriend told me love is like a drug. I started tearing up because this is the most romantic he has been in a while. He then went on to break up with me, telling me that my "prescription is up". FML

#18577154
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30554) - you deserved it (3164)

On 12/22/2011 at 3:09am - love - by Jean - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, after being married for 20 years, I found out that my wife has accounts on multiple dating sites, "just in case." FML

#21007851
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40008) - you deserved it (3164)

On 12/28/2013 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to write "Happy Bday, I Love You" on my girlfriend's car windows to surprise her when she woke up. I was the one who got the surprise when I saw her, in her backseat, having sex. FML

#3165290
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72929) - you deserved it (3163)

On 06/24/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that the school I transferred from last year is closing. All the people that I so happily escaped from and left behind at that school will now be flocking to my new school senior year. Faaaantastic. FML

#5731008
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36052) - you deserved it (3163)

On 10/08/2009 at 10:30pm - misc - by Augh. (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was dumped by the guy who serenaded me with his guitar and admitted he had feelings for me. Why? Because the girl who had continuously been rejecting him for so long finally decided to give him a chance. FML

#14427876
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27549) - you deserved it (3163)

On 01/01/2011 at 6:50pm - love - by drfrogpepper (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I thought I was going to my doctor for a yearly check-up. My father had actually tricked me into therapy. FML

#19323093
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18189) - you deserved it (3163)

On 03/21/2012 at 9:50pm - health - by nazooer - United States

Today, I found out how easy it is for people to get into my flat when I found bailiffs in my kitchen at 9am. They had picked the lock to look for someone who doesn't live at my address, but at least had the courtesy to tell me how to make my home more secure. FML



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: