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Today, I woke up to a pile of hair on my floor. I looked in the mirror and realized the hair was from my head. I had a dream about cutting my hair and I guess it came true. FML

#14721795
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24660) - you deserved it (3120)

On 01/26/2011 at 4:49pm - misc - by Larz (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

#16474078
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44018) - you deserved it (3120)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while I was delivering pizza in the torrential downpour, I waited 5 minutes in the pouring rain for an old lady to dig 20 bucks out of her purse. Her total was $19.99. She told me to keep the change and make lots of money. FML

#16781053
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33191) - you deserved it (3120)

On 06/21/2011 at 12:52pm - work - by micheal - United States

Today, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML

#17986846
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37010) - you deserved it (3120)

On 10/15/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by Ania (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

#18316439
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32841) - you deserved it (3120)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to visit my sister, who lives four hours away from me. I'd only just sat down on their couch when her husband told me I needed to leave so they could have sex. FML

#20666985
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42588) - you deserved it (3120)

On 05/16/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by earplugsplease (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my room mate told all of our mutual friends that he had walked in on me doing woodwork in my room. They all thought he meant he had caught me rubbing one out. I'm actually building a guitar. FML

#20883989
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45812) - you deserved it (3120)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by I have wood (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents asked if they could borrow my car. Why? Because they were going to see someone about a Craig's List ad and wanted to look poor. FML

#5657528
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33339) - you deserved it (3119)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:38am - money - by poorcar (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after spending the night at my boyfriend's house, I was heading out the door when he called me back to hand me something I had left at his house a while ago. It was one of my bras. It wasn't until I got home I noticed the cup size was a B. I'm a size D. FML

#5793805
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35984) - you deserved it (3119)

On 10/12/2009 at 10:03am - love - by Jennagirl (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my girlfriend was really depressed. I listed the top 50 reasons why I love her. Her response was "thanks for that but seriously, this video on youtube is hilarious." I couldn't cheer her up but apparently a 10 second video of a dog running in circles can. FML

#8238401
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26098) - you deserved it (3119)

On 02/14/2010 at 3:48am - love - by Samson (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

#20836671
111 comments

Today, I asked a guy out on a coffee date, and we started talking about our mutual careers. At the end of the date he asked me if I had any more questions about job opportunities or any more advice, then shook my hand and gave me his contact card. FML

#5748
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22864) - you deserved it (3118)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:54pm - love - by myrie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents informed that the man I am going to marry made the newspaper, on page twelve. He is listed as a fugitive and there is a warrant out for his arrest. FML

#19982796
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23956) - you deserved it (3118)

On 07/25/2012 at 1:27am - misc - by strangebeans (woman) - United States



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