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Today, my partner and I were spending quality time with a newly single friend. She quoted some song lyrics, saying "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make an ugly woman your wife...". We all laughed, and then my partner said "Boy, you got THAT right." FML

#6739480
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26990) - you deserved it (3569)

On 12/13/2009 at 3:22pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, it was the début of the high school musical I was in. When two others and I sang the word "Hell", my mother yelled at us for using that language, while the musical was still going, and dragged me off stage. FML

#15281209
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44509) - you deserved it (3569)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out my mom has notebooks with lists of everything she has bought for me ever since I was born. Apparently she is going to make me pay her back for all the money she spent on me once I'm an adult. FML

#16556165
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51779) - you deserved it (3569)

On 06/08/2011 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, trying to get some much needed rest, I heard my neighbors fighting loudly. When they finally quit, they left a DVD on, directly behind my wall: Spongebob, with the menu tune on loop. FML

#21025356
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43669) - you deserved it (3569)

On 01/12/2014 at 6:04am - misc - by tired individual (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my sister was playing a rock star in a play. When she got home, she told me she used one of my old guitars, because I told her it was ok. I said she could take one to practice on, not destroy on stage. FML

#6326232
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28474) - you deserved it (3568)

On 11/16/2009 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got home from a small vacation. Before I left, I set up cameras in my room to see if my roommate was stealing my money. Turns out she wasn't. However, she does borrow my personal "adult toy" whenever I'm out. FML

#6213926
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23009) - you deserved it (3568)

On 11/08/2009 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by grossedout (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, during a job interview, I was offered a sandwich. I politely declined, explaining that I'm a coeliac and would probably get very sick. He said coeliac disease "isn't real" and that gluten-free eating is just a fad. I had to leave when he kept pushing me to accept it. FML

#20976563
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41091) - you deserved it (3568)

On 12/01/2013 at 1:02am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway

Today, I was driving my grandpa to the store because his car is in the shop. I was well within the speed limit, but he kept yelling at me for "speeding", then accused me of trying to give him a heart attack, and eventually pulled the e-brake, getting us rear-ended. He refuses to apologise. FML

#21129670
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45569) - you deserved it (3568)

On 05/03/2014 at 2:15pm - work - by kezbabes - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I learned how birds feel when they fly into windows. I should be getting the hospital bill for my broken nose in the mail soon. FML

#21300014
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22769) - you deserved it (3568)

On 11/16/2014 at 3:35am - health - by FlyLikeABird - United States (California)

Today, my very traditional parents told me that I should start a savings account for my marriage. I told them that I wouldn't get married until much later because I don't even have a boyfriend yet. They said, "Don't worry we already found a boy for you." FML

#6527695
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36360) - you deserved it (3567)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML

#8506785
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23010) - you deserved it (3567)

On 02/21/2010 at 3:19am - intimacy - by horny21 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my sister called me up extremely excited because she found out Flo Rida is from Florida. She's 22. FML

#20751029
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38110) - you deserved it (3567)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:37pm - misc - by smh - United States (New Jersey)

Today, is my little sister's 16th birthday. I spent my last $20 on a gift for her, cleaned the house for her party, made an ice cream cake, and got her a rose. What did I get? "I hope you kept the receipt for this. Oh, and stay in your room during my party." FML

#20988657
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53179) - you deserved it (3567)

On 12/11/2013 at 3:25am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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