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Today, I got really excited when I got an email from a guy I've been flirting with in my math class. Turns out he thinks I stole his calculator and wants it back immediately. There goes my chance. FML

#20880890
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36246) - you deserved it (2663)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:04pm - love - by crushed (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mum dismissed my diagnosed schizophrenia as "too much time with those earphones in". FML

#20897726
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35812) - you deserved it (2663)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:56am - health - by awkwardology - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it didn't flush. FML

#1663
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16394) - you deserved it (2662)

On 01/18/2009 at 8:01pm - misc - by frankie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I let my dad borrow my car. I found out a few hours later that he has had a suspended license for three years. How did I find out? He got pulled over and arrested. My car was also impounded. I'm a college student barely making it as it is. Guess who can't afford the impound fees? FML

#6256423
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28237) - you deserved it (2662)

On 11/11/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by brokeasajoke (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my sister is visiting. She used more toilet paper today than I have in two months. FML

#18587898
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20817) - you deserved it (2662)

On 12/23/2011 at 10:45am - misc - by jriese444 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

#19941503
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18384) - you deserved it (2662)

On 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boss confessed to me that she doesn't know how to change the staples in the staplers at work, so she just switches them when they run out. We work at an office supply store. She makes six figures. I make $10 an hour. And she just got awarded a trip to Aruba for doing a "great job". FML

#1280200
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53877) - you deserved it (2661)

On 04/24/2009 at 12:36am - work - by Idiocracy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out I can't go to my best friend's birthday party. To cheer me up, my parents decided to take me and my brother to my favorite pizzeria for dinner. When I was ready and went downstairs, I discovered they left already. They forgot me. FML

#17130002
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32061) - you deserved it (2661)

On 07/16/2011 at 12:25am - misc - by jordy1995 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my older brother burst into my bedroom at 4 am to show me photos of sushi. FML

Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML

#3129056
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46268) - you deserved it (2660)

On 06/22/2009 at 8:21pm - work - by the_captain (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML

#12346670
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21177) - you deserved it (2660)

On 08/06/2010 at 3:07am - love - by rachaaaaeul - United States (Utah)

Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML

#20163308
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17648) - you deserved it (2660)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my dad paid for my sister's friend's airplane ticket so she could attend my sister's wedding. I would have been there myself, but I couldn't afford the airplane ticket. FML

#20978054
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47179) - you deserved it (2660)

On 12/02/2013 at 8:28am - money - by Akestarr - United States (Indiana)



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