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Today, I discovered that my new roommate likes to take the loose hair when she showers and make shapes with it on the shower wall. She calls it art. FML

#13642411
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26489) - you deserved it (3184)

On 10/29/2010 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

#14952962
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32683) - you deserved it (3184)

On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after being in Europe for a month, I got home to find my door wide open and all my stuff gone. I called my dad who was supposed to be watching my house. He told me I should have had someone check on my place while I was gone. FML

#16181448
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35105) - you deserved it (3185)

On 05/15/2011 at 12:49am - misc - by jruth7 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I noticed a woman struggling to work a parking meter, so I went over to help. She took one look at me before screaming, hitting me in the face, and running back to her car. FML

#17030177
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26040) - you deserved it (3184)

On 07/08/2011 at 4:02pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, after a long therapy session, in which I poured out all my feelings of how happy and in love I am with whom I believe to be my soul-mate, my shrink asked me if I was sure this guy wasn't a figment of my imagination. FML

#18576133
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24984) - you deserved it (3184)

On 12/22/2011 at 12:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally got enough courage to ask out this girl that I've liked for a year. While we were out at lunch, she ran into her ex that she had just broken up with. They then had a long conversation about their relationship, and ended up getting back together. She was my ride home. FML

#2853561
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49185) - you deserved it (3183)

On 06/13/2009 at 8:15am - love - by e.middlechild (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got laid off from work. I was being escorted to the elevator when another coworker stepped inside. He said, "How goes it?". I said, "It goes". Then he said, "At least we have a job". FML

#761537
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65377) - you deserved it (3183)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by Dude - United States (California)

Today, my mum told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time. FML

#14671096
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38313) - you deserved it (3183)

On 01/22/2011 at 5:03am - intimacy - by Theaccident (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I noticed that a picture of me on my Mum and Dad's wall looked different. On closer inspection, I realised they'd recently painted over my teeth with white paint. I asked them why, and they said they looked 'discoloured'. It's my wedding photo. FML

#17508765
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24743) - you deserved it (3183)

On 08/18/2011 at 10:11am - misc - by JLO (man) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend's jaw was swollen due to him not taking care of a cracked tooth. He's convinced it was actually caused by an STD, and accused me of giving it to him. FML

#18005500
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29880) - you deserved it (3183)

On 10/17/2011 at 8:12am - intimacy - by STIdiot (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

#20528775
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30709) - you deserved it (3183)

On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange. This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months. FML

#20521313
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32061) - you deserved it (3183)

On 02/25/2013 at 3:33am - love - by vat (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I found out that while having a GPS tracker in your car is helpful for tracking down car thieves, it's also helpful to your psycho ex, who can use it to track you down. FML

#20846264
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39052) - you deserved it (3183)

On 08/20/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by nobieb (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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