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Today, I spent almost $200 on a planetarium show with my boyfriend, who loves astronomy. He said his favorite thing about it was that he could pick his nose without anyone noticing. FML

#17904030
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27260) - you deserved it (3498)

On 10/04/2011 at 2:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wackjob roommate decided to sit next to me on the couch, basically make out with her pet rabbit, and baby-talk to it. Key highlights involved giggling while the bunny licked up inside her nose and then commenting on the rabbit's "pronounced nipples". Why? FML

#20848347
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39048) - you deserved it (3498)

On 08/21/2013 at 8:09pm - animals - by Jade (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home from living in Spain for 2 years. My mom made dinner for me, and she had forgotten about my allergy to citrus, because she made lemon chicken. After using my EpiPen, and calling 911 for myself, I heard my mom say to my dad, "She always did have to be the center of attention." FML

#3927246
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61486) - you deserved it (3497)

On 07/21/2009 at 11:19am - health - by Lemonhead (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kid's menu, and colored for the half hour before our food came. He didn't talk to me at all. FML

#7169187
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27646) - you deserved it (3497)

On 01/05/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went out for pizza with my boyfriend. He loaned me his debit card and loudly announced in front of everyone that his pin code was the numerical equivalent of "Fart", and repeated it twice, just in case I hadn't heard. FML

#14969224
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23261) - you deserved it (3497)

On 02/14/2011 at 2:14am - misc - by datingamoron (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that in conclusion to working five nights in a row, I'm scheduled to work the night shift on Valentine's day with my ex-boyfriend. FML

Today, my husband and I went to our first counseling sessions, where the main focus was communication. When the therapist called us in together to discuss techniques we could use at home, my husband looked around, rolled his eyes, and responded with, "Uh huh" to every question. FML

#19144209
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22337) - you deserved it (3497)

On 02/23/2012 at 2:59am - love - by atsukobo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, though I'm normally unperturbed by my single-ness, I walked by some squirrels engaged in mating rituals and felt a pang of jealousy. FML

#5133
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28905) - you deserved it (3496)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:49am - love - by murphy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a cute girl sat down next to me on the bus. She looked up at me, and then moved to the back. FML

#13262261
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28486) - you deserved it (3496)

On 09/30/2010 at 11:07am - misc - by Ugh-Lee - United States

Today, someone broke into my car just to steal the freshly baked cookies in the back seat. They also left a thank you note. FML

#17384157
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30762) - you deserved it (3496)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by nomorecookies - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML

#18926603
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30696) - you deserved it (3496)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was debating with my now ex-boyfriend over the ethics of using torture in interrogations of suspected criminals. It took just ten minutes before he freely admitted that he'd have no problem "torturing the shit" out of me if he even suspected I was seeing another man. FML

#20015148
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20680) - you deserved it (3496)

On 08/11/2012 at 12:38pm - love - by what the actual fuck (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a street preacher got on my metro car and gave a long, loud speech about how we sinful, polluted congressional staffers must inform our bosses that choosing a homosexual lifestyle was like trading your soul for soup. We got stuck in a tunnel for thirty minutes. FML

#20887597
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36376) - you deserved it (3496)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:54am - misc - by CapitolSouthSux (woman) - United States



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