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Today, my wife is pregnant and sick. She switches from sobbing she's sorry for that, to blaming me for "doing this to me." On top of that, I have half her symptoms now: throwing up and crying for no reason. This will be a long 9 months. FML

#20443596
151 comments

Today, at my first day on the job, a customer threatened my life because our vending machine had run out of Doritos. FML

#20880018
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38741) - you deserved it (2896)

On 09/13/2013 at 7:13pm - work - by Anonynommer (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I slipped on the ice in front of my apartment, spraining my ankle and cracking a rib. While I laid on the ground immediately after, my neighbor chewed me out for saying "shit" in front of her 4-year-old on my way down. FML

#206067
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57640) - you deserved it (2895)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by stupidneighbor (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to my hairdresser who promised me a haircut which "all the girls would want you" for. She gave me a combover. FML

#5819831
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19840) - you deserved it (2895)

On 10/13/2009 at 9:25pm - misc - by Chensticles - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was turned down for a job as a cashier at Best Buy. I worked like hell to get into and then graduate from one of the top Telecommunication schools in the country. I spent all my time with extracurriculars to help my resume instead of partying like my friends. I can't even be a cashier. FML

#6228349
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25572) - you deserved it (2895)

On 11/09/2009 at 2:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my sister and I got into an argument at a tennis court which ended up with her trying to run me over in the parking lot. I stepped to the side and hit her door, denting it. My parents expect me to pay for the damage caused by my sister trying to kill me. FML

#13357466
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26225) - you deserved it (2895)

On 10/07/2010 at 7:37pm - misc - by toyotasmash - United States

Today, I had to go along with my mom to meet some of her old friends from high school. When they asked her about how her life was going, she said she was married, always traveling, no kids, and introduced me as the neighbor's kid she babysits. FML

#12498978
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38941) - you deserved it (2895)

On 08/13/2010 at 12:28pm - kids - by Bullet - United States

Today, my dad's work phone went off, and I thought I should go tell him since he's on call. Turns out no matter how you do it, a 47 year old man at one in the morning will think you are a burglar trying to attack him. FML

#16479065
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24178) - you deserved it (2895)

On 06/03/2011 at 2:25am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML

#20858175
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39670) - you deserved it (2895)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:47pm - misc - by notsolucky - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mother asked me why I disliked her and my father's nakedness in the family pool. FML

#21129038
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37677) - you deserved it (2895)

On 05/02/2014 at 7:03pm - misc - by nopleasestopmother (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to the gym to run. I ended up at the hospital because i went into anaphylactic shock. Apparently I'm allergic to exercise now. FML

#36818
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30810) - you deserved it (2894)

On 02/13/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I started my spring break. My college is letting the students stay in the dorms for break, so I figured that staying here would mean getting more sleep than going home. Not so much. The fire alarm has been going off every 20 mins since 7:30am because they're "fixing" it. FML

#8916498
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17710) - you deserved it (2894)

On 03/08/2010 at 9:46am - misc - by sleepy2010 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML

#13235832
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37069) - you deserved it (2894)

On 09/28/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Jake - United States (Wisconsin)



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