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Today, I was at a party. The music changed to a slow dance. Everybody grabbed a partner and I was left on the dancefloor alone. Suddenly, this guy walks up to me. I swore that he was going to ask me to dance. He then says: "Could you hold me my drink?" and goes to dance with another girl. FML

#2704619
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52406) - you deserved it (3696)

On 06/07/2009 at 9:36pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I ran sound for my ex's wedding rehearsal since I was the only sound tech in town. Her dad was late for the rehearsal, so the pastor had me to walk her down the aisle. FML

#4482607
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52554) - you deserved it (3696)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:14pm - work - by d.stack (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my five year old daughter told me that while I'm at work, daddy has his wrestling buddy Melinda over. She also said that they wrestle on the bed so that they won't get hurt. FML

#4867119
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82567) - you deserved it (3696)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:57pm - love - by abercrombieef (woman) - United States (California)

Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML

#6474264
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24048) - you deserved it (3696)

On 11/27/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by fml...really (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I'm in Mexico and am supposed to be skydiving for my Christmas gift. Instead, I'm coming out of the hospital with x-rays, an ankle splint, and a $800 bill because I fell on the bottom step of a flight of stairs. FML

#7145506
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24393) - you deserved it (3696)

On 01/04/2010 at 12:52pm - health - by Wally (man) - Mexico

Today, my dad borrowed my new iPad to amuse him while he was in the shower without my knowledge. The iPad is now completely ruined, and my dad is refusing to buy me a new one. He says, "How was I to know that it wasn't waterproof?" FML

#13158291
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44922) - you deserved it (3696)

On 09/22/2010 at 4:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I got mugged. They wanted my phone and wallet. The most important thing in my wallet was my fully punched Smoothie King card. FML

#9100714
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25500) - you deserved it (3696)

On 03/15/2010 at 11:05am - money - by ashleeylynn - United States

Today, at work, there is a rumor going around that I'm gay. Somewhat curious at how did this start, I asked a co-worker. He said I was seen 3 days ago at a mall holding hands with someone who looks like a guy from behind. Three days ago, I was at the mall with my girlfriend. FML

Today, my boyfriend tried to serenade me with The Sex is Good by Saving Abel. According to him, "I have to fake it, I'd leave if I could. I'm not in love, but the sex is good." FML

#14521815
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25305) - you deserved it (3696)

On 01/09/2011 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and his bandmates were doing a live interview for a web show. Drunk off his ass, my boyfriend starts telling the internet how his ex-girlfriend is his biggest inspiration. I was standing right next to him. FML

Today, I washed my face and grabbed the towel to dry it, I felt something moving down my forehead, thinking it was a drop of water. Upon looking in the mirror, I found it hadn't been a drop of water. Unless the water drop had legs and was gooey. FML

#2461249
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40048) - you deserved it (3695)

On 05/31/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed with a pedestal fan on facing us when my boyfriend sneezed. Where did he sneeze? Into the fan, which then sprayed it all over my face. FML

#13524310
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25807) - you deserved it (3695)

On 10/20/2010 at 12:14pm - misc - by gross - Australia

Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML

#15676274
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44015) - you deserved it (3695)

On 04/07/2011 at 3:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)



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