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Today, I was standing in the parking lot with my sister, after my aunt's funeral, when my grandma walks up and says to my sister, "You're the one going places in life, I'm proud to have you as a grand daughter." She then looked at me, and walked away. FML

#161850
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52165) - you deserved it (3467)

On 02/28/2009 at 3:41pm - misc - by AnnaMarie. (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML

#6389255
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42983) - you deserved it (3467)

On 11/21/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by AussieGirl (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a customer tried to pay for a $1.55 cup of coffee with a gift card, but he came up a dollar short. He let another customer through while he fumbled in his pocket for money. I later noticed a dollar had disappeared from my tip jar. FML

#14095339
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24913) - you deserved it (3467)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:36pm - work - by barista (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

#12332692
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41035) - you deserved it (3467)

On 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by kiki - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on a train when we hit and killed a person. We were stalled for 4 hours. The guy sitting next to me asked what I did for a living, so I told him that I'm a vet tech. Then he showed me his infected elbow. FML

#17620376
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26944) - you deserved it (3467)

On 08/30/2011 at 10:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at my sister's wedding, I went to the very back of the crowd of women waiting to catch the bouquet. Not only did I end up catching it, I was accosted by a crazy chick who ripped it out of my hands, screaming at me in Italian. I later found out she was already engaged. FML

#21187114
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40426) - you deserved it (3467)

On 06/24/2014 at 9:06pm - misc - by sadbuttrue. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found a note on my door that said "You're the sexiest person I've ever stalked". Later, I found another note that said "Sorry, that was meant for your roommate. You aren't my type." Not even a creepy stalker thinks I'm attractive. FML

#3041162
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46853) - you deserved it (3466)

On 06/19/2009 at 8:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML

#20158140
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25984) - you deserved it (3466)

On 11/10/2012 at 10:10pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

#20480710
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30023) - you deserved it (3466)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad decided to clean my 20 gallon fish tank. I had 6 fish. One of them was called a transparent fish, clear with a bright orange tail, which was my favorite. My dad didn't see it, and dumped the water out along with it. FML

#6254923
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31192) - you deserved it (3465)

On 11/11/2009 at 6:28am - animals - by dEpPrEsSeDgIrL (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was sitting on my balcony reading a book. My upstairs neighbors thought that would be a good time to water their flowers. I'm now drenched in water, as is my book. FML

#16103716
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29715) - you deserved it (3465)

On 05/09/2011 at 11:05am - misc - by Nelson - Sweden

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

#18814667
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28074) - you deserved it (3465) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/15/2012 at 1:14pm - love - by Vitriol (man) - France

Today, after admitting he had feelings for me, my crush returned from out of town. He'd said that while he was gone, he'd meet people, but only think of me. He came back no longer single. He's known her for 4 days. We've known each other for 6 years. FML

#18369086
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28443) - you deserved it (3465)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:53pm - love - by Mallory - United States



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