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Today, I got diagnosed with stomach ulcers. They are very painful, and I have been throwing up blood. On my latest trip to the toilet, I was heaving and the pain was making me beat the floor with my fist, the toilet lid decided to come crashing down on my head, giving me a minor concussion. FML

#6397503
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33179) - you deserved it (3588)

On 11/21/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went in to see my piercer. He took one look at my piercing I got a few months ago and laughed saying "What a shit job, I'm sorry but that's pretty crappy because it's not even straight!" I then had to awkwardly explain it was indeed him who had pierced me. FML

#17602935
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30117) - you deserved it (3588)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:41am - misc - by piercingfreak (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my dad came home from a trip to Arizona and brought back special hand-picked gifts for the whole family. When he got to me, he smiled, and pulled out a free lotion from the hotel at which he was staying. FML

#20729197
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44106) - you deserved it (3588)

On 06/16/2013 at 11:46am - misc - by loveyadad (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

#20909928
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50771) - you deserved it (3588)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:54pm - love - by UHM (man) - United States

Today, I was feeling really down and insecure after a friend joked about how small my boobs are. When my grandma got me to tell her what happened, she reassured me that all the girls in our family were late bloomers. I said "Really?" and she replied, "Oh no dear. Quite the opposite." FML

#21087397
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34577) - you deserved it (3588)

On 03/15/2014 at 3:34pm - misc - by nerdlette (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after waiting for 2 weeks for the right moment to meet my boyfriend's mom, she walked in as I was straddling him, trying to prove that I'd win in a wrestling match. I guess we met, then. FML

#21401631
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26134) - you deserved it (3588)

On 04/29/2015 at 7:11am - love - by xxlenalunaxx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got dumped by my girlfriend at her mom's birthday party, in front of her whole family. They even got it on video. FML

#14162618
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36291) - you deserved it (3587)

On 12/11/2010 at 3:18am - love - by Marlon - United States

Today, I got a really bad sunburn on my face while at the lake. Not to worry, though; my friends made me feel better by saying, "It takes the attention away from your acne." FML

#17482360
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27323) - you deserved it (3587)

On 08/15/2011 at 5:38pm - health - by Username - United States

Today, I got demonic gastric distress while taking my final college exam. I only got about 50% of it done, left the classroom 50% faster, and experienced both 50% dread and 50% relief. Now I have to repeat 50% of the class. FML

#21293883
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29527) - you deserved it (3587)

On 11/07/2014 at 1:53am - misc - by all shat out - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, a girl I've liked for several years gave me her number. Finally, I worked up the courage to call her. It was a suicide help line. FML

#5993337
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44608) - you deserved it (3586)

On 10/25/2009 at 4:48pm - love - by Kin (man) - United States (California)

Today, as a going away present after five years of military service and one combat tour, the hospital scheduled me for a prostate exam. FML

#15693766
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24758) - you deserved it (3586)

On 04/08/2011 at 12:09pm - health - by jonh_215 - United States

Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

#19673015
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19152) - you deserved it (3586)

On 05/24/2012 at 2:26pm - work - by thwack - United States

Today, I bumped into my parents at the mall. They didn't tell me they were around. I live 5,000 miles away, in a different country from them. FML

#20744316
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59072) - you deserved it (3586)

On 06/24/2013 at 10:16am - misc - by Coolios (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)



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