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Today, I learned I made the dean's honor list for my college for the first time since attending. I asked my dad if he was proud of me, to which he replied, "when you're as successful as your brother, I'll be proud." My brother is a Chippendale's dancer. FML

Today, I went to the grocery store where I work to pick up my pay check. After I got it, I headed back to the dorms to take a quick nap before Chemistry later. I woke up, and my check was gone. I later found it. In the form of a text from my roommate saying he gambled away 'our' money. FML

#6253636
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28682) - you deserved it (3483)

On 11/11/2009 at 1:55am - money - by whoawhat (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me because I didn't know what her favorite ice cream was. She says it proves I don't care enough about her. I don't think I've ever seen her eat ice cream. FML

#17628013
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27491) - you deserved it (3483)

On 08/31/2011 at 5:16am - love - by wtf3456 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I called in sick at work because I have the flu. This is my first sick day in the 2 years I've worked there. It's also the day the CEO made a surprise visit. My co-workers all got generous salary increases, and some of them promotions. I'm not included, simply because I wasn't there. FML

Today, my boyfriend moved out and took all his things with him. He also took some things that didn't belong to him, namely my rent money. My landlord comes tomorrow. FML

#20951618
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42242) - you deserved it (3483)

On 11/09/2013 at 3:41pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was treating a patient at the hospital where I'm a dentist. This particular gentleman was old and slightly deaf. After completing the procedure I gestured to the spitoon and asked him to spit. He got up, steadied himself, and spat straight in my face. FML

#21093322
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37704) - you deserved it (3483)

On 03/22/2014 at 7:56am - work - by Dr.Anonymous (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, it was my 21st birthday. All my friends showed up at my house already drunk, so I had to be the designated driver. FML

#4617749
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49417) - you deserved it (3482)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by thedd (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's parents offered her a trip to Europe if she dumped me. She accepted, and broke up with me. Her parents were lying. FML

#14271579
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39624) - you deserved it (3482)

On 12/20/2010 at 11:15am - love - by pinkfloyd777 -

Today, I found out my girlfriend of four years is legally married to a man in prison. He gets out next week. FML

#14254809
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41774) - you deserved it (3482)

On 12/19/2010 at 12:14am - love - by fouryearswasted - United States

Today, the only person to wish me a Happy Valentine's day was a wrong number calling my cell phone. FML

#14981056
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29941) - you deserved it (3482)

On 02/14/2011 at 10:07pm - love - by moe (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, the ex-girlfriend I'm still in love with sent me an old picture with the caption, "I miss us." She looked beautiful and happy. Too bad I'm not the guy she's kissing in the picture. FML

#15930581
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41825) - you deserved it (3482)

On 04/26/2011 at 2:18am - love - by SadGuy - United Kingdom

Today, my landlord came and beat on my door demanding the rent check. I just got home from a trip and my wife was supposed to pay it while I was away. What happened to the money? Black Friday. FML

#18515072
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28542) - you deserved it (3482)

On 12/14/2011 at 9:46pm - money - by kittyslayer (man) - United States

Today, I got my license. Instead of congratulating me, my buddies created a betting pool for when I get into a serious accident. Thanks for the support. FML

#19412745
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20585) - you deserved it (3482)

On 04/05/2012 at 4:07pm - misc - by anal4me (man) - United States (New York)



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