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Today, I met up with my estranged father for the first time in almost 15 years. I saw him again later, while he was robbing my house. FML

Today, I went to the eye doctor. He tells me that I've developed a severe allergy to contact lenses and must stop wearing them immediately. It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't just visited him a week earlier, paid for a new prescription and ordered a year's worth of brand new lenses. FML

#4507995
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33641) - you deserved it (2679)

On 08/13/2009 at 7:14pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that, if timed just right, the alarm function on my phone can be disabled by a text message. And my dad has an impeccable sense of timing. I was 20 minutes late for work. FML

#7974349
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21684) - you deserved it (2679)

On 02/07/2010 at 1:58pm - work - by Ishii (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while at a family get together, my bowels suddenly decided they needed to be emptied. Straight away. I felt bad enough using someone else's bathroom for this, but later, my sister came in and loudly said "God, Brian, what the hell have you been eating?" in front of everyone at the get together. FML

#8285725
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18654) - you deserved it (2679)

On 02/15/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by MisterBrown (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was chosen as King for our winter formal. Even after I won, nobody wanted to dance with me. FML

#14954492
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23961) - you deserved it (2679)

On 02/13/2011 at 2:16am - misc - by Average - United States (Iowa)

Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML

#13466865
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25280) - you deserved it (2679)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:41am - work - by hannahj88 - Australia

Today, after dealing with tons of drama and working a 14 hour shift, I took a shower. When I stepped out, a weak spot in the floor gave way. While falling through the floor I grabbed the toilet tank lid, which fell into the tank and broke it. Now my leg hurts and the bathroom's flooded. FML

#14969181
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27449) - you deserved it (2679)

On 02/14/2011 at 2:11am - misc - by TheKingDavis (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I learned that when the power goes out at my house, my family thinks you can no longer flush the toilet. FML

#18109822
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25929) - you deserved it (2679)

On 10/30/2011 at 7:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I worked 12 long hours cooped up in my office. Before leaving, my boss asked me whether I'll ever take my job seriously. FML

#16129629
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26277) - you deserved it (2679)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:51pm - work - by jamalinho (man) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

#17487267
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30953) - you deserved it (2679)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my parents had a fight as to which one of them is the most cultured. As a result, they've begun writing my chore lists in a variety of languages. If I don't do them, I'm grounded. I only speak English. FML

#18025150
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22452) - you deserved it (2679)

On 10/19/2011 at 6:29pm - misc - by Missy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, four days after our fridge-freezer broke down, my husband staggered home with three bags of ham. He drunkenly bought it with most of what little money we have, so now not only is our food budget gone, we also have a metric cunt-load of ham, and nowhere to store it. FML

#20548229
167 comments

Today, my workplace was having a "prices are down" promotion. I had to wear a badge that said, "Down and staying down" all day, opening myself up to a lot of weirdos winking at me or saying, "Oh yeah, I bet you are". FML

#20878038
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37458) - you deserved it (2679)

On 09/12/2013 at 3:42am - work - by hawkwardd - Australia



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