Choose the period

Choose a category

Today, my parents told me about how they met. I'd already known they were eight years apart, but I never knew my dad started dating my mom when he was 21 and she was 13. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2010 at 12:01pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend got engaged to a co-worker. I got her the job. FML

by D-Man / 02/08/2012 at 8:08am / United States / Love

Today, disappointed with my results on a mathematics test, I went over it and realized my teacher had added up the marks incorrectly, leaving me with 17% less than I earned. The person who's supposed to be teaching me math can't even perform basic arithmetic. FML

by Anonymous / 04/01/2014 at 1:07pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sneezed seven times in a row. That's the closest thing I've had to an orgasm in months. FML

by omglifee / 12/19/2009 at 11:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she loves the most about me. She said it's the fact that I look like her cousin. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2013 at 11:49am / United States (California) / Love

Today, all of my roommates handed in their vacating notice unexpectedly. They are all moving to a new house together in two weeks, leaving me to be either homeless or forced to pay 4 times what I was paying in rent. FML

by sparkyjaf / 05/14/2015 at 8:41am / Australia (New South Wales) / Money

Today, I got my beautiful daughter ready to be a flower girl for the first time. A flower girl in the wedding of her father, my ex-husband, and the woman he cheated on me with. FML

by maribel / 06/04/2011 at 7:27am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom told me all about how I was conceived in a Disney Land toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2014 at 11:52am / United Kingdom (Dudley) / Love

Today, I switched from a pediatrician to an adult doctor. The guy was really persistant about a few personal questions. Then he brought my parents in the room and told them that I have an abnormally small penis and what remedies he knows of to fix it. FML

by dude5028 / 09/08/2009 at 5:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

by benander / 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me that every time he has sex with me he thinks about some mutant bunny chick from "Final Fantasy." FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2009 at 2:04am / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has been asked by multiple people "why he is going out with such an ugly girl." FML

by hjufidskndf / 08/30/2010 at 1:35am / United States / Love

Today, I discovered my neighbors have bought a karaoke machine. FML

by the_music_major / 10/18/2010 at 9:09pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous