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Today, my friends and me had a little water balloon fight and somehow it led to throwing water balloons at cars. We all decided to hit a car all at once, after one came by we all hit it. The car stopped and started flashing bright blue lights. We ended up hitting an off-duty police car. FML

#616637
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10881) - you deserved it (109781)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by AzNFoo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

#318197
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17664) - you deserved it (109760)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:05am - love - by DSM (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I got an acceptance later to a great boarding school in India for my senior year of high school. I sent them a letter telling them I wouldn't go, because I just got back with my ex-boyfriend. I just got a text from my boyfriend. Guess who's my ex again? FML

#2344396
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16626) - you deserved it (109609)

On 05/27/2009 at 4:12pm - love - by tarini (woman) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

#20904456
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16540) - you deserved it (109605)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:43am - love - by Lilly (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was dressing in my apartment when I noticed I left the blinds open. Outside, a maintenance man was mowing the grass within eyeshot. I figured I'd leave the blinds open and give him a little peek of the goods. Later I found a note on my window saying, 'Next time, close the blinds'. FML

#1021502
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20203) - you deserved it (109557)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, we had some family over. A nasty need to wank seized me when I saw her: my 17-year-old cousin. I went to my parents' unoccupied bedroom. My sister's baby walkie-talkie was switched on, and the whole family heard me. FML

#37
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24024) - you deserved it (109342)

On 10/25/2008 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by VIVI -

Today, my teacher was giving a lecture about human genetics and how they are passed on to children. She projected a large picture of a baby on to the screen in the front of the room. I then joked about how this ugly baby must have some very unattractive parents. It was her baby. FML

#627489
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16433) - you deserved it (109178)

On 03/26/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by biggmouth - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

#18217676
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8620) - you deserved it (108818)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sat next to an attractive punk/rock guy on a plane. I decided to try to impress by playing music I thought he would like. I clicked The Who and opened a large window with the album cover, so he could see. The track then shuffled, and he was face to with a giant image of Miley Cyrus. FML

#333328
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14900) - you deserved it (108378)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:22am - love - by UH-OH (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to lie to my dentist about how often I brush my teeth. I honestly don't remember the last time I did. FML

#6048206
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7193) - you deserved it (107909)

On 10/28/2009 at 10:54pm - health - by mintyfresh (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a rude awakening after a traffic accident the day before. I'd fled the scene to avoid having to pay hefty damage fines. I would have gotten away with it too, if my license plate hadn't fallen off and incriminated me. FML

#14578612
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6939) - you deserved it (107438)

On 01/14/2011 at 2:43pm - money - by calidumbass - United States

Today, I decided to see if electric dog collars work on human necks. They do. FML

#5769209
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7551) - you deserved it (107406)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:40am - health - by zappy (woman) - United States (New York)



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