Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to lie to my dentist about how often I brush my teeth. I honestly don't remember the last time I did. FML

#6048206
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8191) - you deserved it (113566)

On 10/28/2009 at 10:54pm - health - by mintyfresh (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to see if electric dog collars work on human necks. They do. FML

#5769209
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8656) - you deserved it (113297)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:40am - health - by zappy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my friends and me had a little water balloon fight and somehow it led to throwing water balloons at cars. We all decided to hit a car all at once, after one came by we all hit it. The car stopped and started flashing bright blue lights. We ended up hitting an off-duty police car. FML

#616637
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11700) - you deserved it (113259)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by AzNFoo (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32886) - you deserved it (113142)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML

#16997621
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8058) - you deserved it (113059)

On 07/06/2011 at 5:17am - health - by Fmylife (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

#318197
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18751) - you deserved it (112450)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:05am - love - by DSM (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML

#3019033
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11783) - you deserved it (112213)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was messing around on my laptop by drawing on the screen with a marker pen. When it came time to clean it off, it wouldn't budge. Now I have a full beard and mustache etched permanently on my computer screen. FML

#14179571
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6675) - you deserved it (111464)

On 12/12/2010 at 2:36pm - misc - by dumbass1991 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I called the police regarding people speeding down my street because I was worried for my young kids. On the way home from my daughters ballet class I got pulled over 2 houses away from my house and got a $150 speeding ticket. FML

#3370137
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10336) - you deserved it (110643)

On 06/30/2009 at 4:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got to drive my mom's car. I'd recently watched the new Fast and Furious movie, I thought it'd be fun to drift around a few corners. I ended up smashing straight into someone's front yard. FML

#20712154
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19656) - you deserved it (110568)

On 06/07/2013 at 6:00pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

#20904456
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16616) - you deserved it (110319)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:43am - love - by Lilly (woman) - United States (Arkansas)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: